by Elle Boon
“We can’t change the past.” Her fingers trembled as she reached toward his arm.
“Don’t. Just don’t,” he said without looking her way.
The heartache from everything she’d lost seemed to swell as she felt his words like a punch to the stomach all over again. “You owe me answers. You think it was easy for me?” she gasped then stopped. “I’m not sorry for Jack. You can think and feel however you want but know this. I was told his father, the man I loved, didn’t want to have anything more to do with me. I was too young and that he…you were going overseas and didn’t want me to call you again. So, I moved forward with my life. I became a mother, and I’ve done a damn good job. Jack’s smart and happy. When I’d heard you’d died, ‘cause yes, my father told me that, I swear a little piece of me died, too. Now, all of a sudden on one of the worst days of my life, you appear out of nowhere with this crazy story that some men are trying to…whatever the hell they are. God, I am sorry I didn’t hunt you down and tell you about Jack. I’m sorry I didn’t go to USDB in Fort Leavenworth and show you your son. And I’m sorry I didn’t take him to your funeral,” she sobbed.
The SUV rocked as they came to a stop on the side of the road. “Damn, I’m sorry, Brookey. So damn sorry. Come here,” Jase murmured, unbuckling her seatbelt and pulling her across the console.
For a few moments, she allowed herself the comfort of his embrace, to soak in the warmth that was Jase Tyler. The sound of her son moving had her squirming and realizing it wasn’t quite comfortable draped across the console. “Where are we?” Darkness surrounded them along the stretch of highway they were on.
“About fifteen minutes from a safe house. I’m sorry for being a dick. It’s just…damn.” He bent and kissed her forehead. “Let’s put a pin in this conversation until we get to the cabin.”
The small show of affection made her stomach flip. “Okay. I’m thinking you need me to move.”
Pressing his forehead against hers, he laughed. “It would probably be easier.” Jase helped her maneuver back into her seat, waited until she was safely buckled, before he pulled back onto the highway. They both sat in silence. Brooke wondered what secrets he would divulge and how they’d move forward after tonight. She knew without a doubt that Jase Tyler wouldn’t be willing to walk away without wanting to be a part of his son’s life. Her problem was she wanted him to be a part of her life as well.
*****
Jase could see the emotions flittering across Brooke’s gorgeous face. If her father had still been alive, tracking him down and beating the shit out of him for the years he’d missed out on in Jack’s life, would be the least of what he’d do to him. The little boy slept peacefully for now, but had he been five or ten minutes later and the men who’d been sent to take them out reached the apartment above the salon first, his son could have been taken from him before he’d ever gotten a chance to know of his existence.
A beep in his ear let him know Erik was back on line. Hell, the other man may have overheard everything that he and Brooke had discussed. Not that Jase gave a damn as he continued to drive to their destination. Erik was one of the few men he still trusted. An image of Kai and the rest of his team formed in his mind.
“Yo, Jase. Operation Cleanup is finished. I’m glad you’re not a messy eater. Thanks for putting the dishes away before you left. You’ll have to replace a few glasses, but other than that, everything sparkles.” Erik’s running commentary through their earpiece would’ve been comical had the situation not been dire.
“Thank you. I’ll have to make sure I give you a good review on the web.” Jase signaled when he spotted their turn off. As he looked in the rearview, he was relieved to see there were no other cars on the highway, making his decision to continue on with their exit easy.
“Who’re you talking to?” Brooke asked, blinking over at him.
He pointed to his ear. “My partner. He was taking care of things at your apartment. You probably should shut the salon down for a few days.”
Brooke nodded. “I already did on account of my dad.” Sadness filled her voice.
He reached out with his right hand and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry for your loss.” No matter how angry he was at the admiral for his lies and the role he played in Jase’s screwed up life, he knew Brooke loved her father.
She swallowed audibly. “Thank you. He was a great dad and truly loved Jack. It’s gonna be hard to adjust, ya know?” Her eyes stared out the window as she said the words, the anguish evident.
Jase didn’t know what to say or how to alleviate her pain. He took the hill up toward the cabin. The switchbacks would be a bitch in the winter, but right now, they were manageable, however he’d rather face an icy terrain than a crying Brooke.
“I bought some provisions, and there should be some at the cabin as well. If we need more, I’ll run into town and get some tomorrow.” He could see the road between the trees that led to the cabin. Most would’ve missed it, unless you’d been there before. It was safe enough for him, but figuring in Brooke and their son, plans needed to be changed. The big SUV rumbled down the dirt drive, and within moments the headlights lit up the small log house.
“Oh,” Brooke said. “Is this like a hunting cabin or something?”
He looked over at her and smiled. “Or something. Come on, let’s get you two inside.” He shifted the car into park and shut off the engine.
“I’ll grab Jack,” she agreed, opening her door.
Jase put his hand on her arm. “Wait here. Let me make sure everything is okay first.”
Brooke pulled her door shut. “Do you think whoever was at my apartment knows about this place?” She looked out the side window and back toward him.
He shook his head. “It’s better to be safe than sorry. We’ve set up some safety protocols and parameters around this place that I just want to make sure are still intact. Erik, how’s it looking on your end?”
“Everything looks quiet and as it should,” Erik reassured him.
Even hearing the other man’s words, Jase needed to make sure himself before he allowed Brooke and Jack out of the relative safety of the vehicle. “Brooke, I need you to listen to me. If I’m not back in three minutes, I want you to climb into the driver’s seat and go back down the mountain. My partner Erik will find you if you head East. They’ll expect you to go back toward home, but you need to go in a direction that makes no sense to anyone but me and someone I trust.”
She shook her head. “Don’t go. If you think it’s too dangerous then let’s just continue driving.” Touching the ear piece, he silenced it so he could talk to Brooke without Erik overhearing.
He put his hand on the back of her head. “I don’t anticipate anything going wrong. I just said if. It’s always good to have a backup plan. Trust me, Brooke.”
Watching her internal war with doing just that, had him leaning over and kissing her on the lips. Just like all the times before, that small connection had tingles shooting straight to his heart. Shit, he’d never felt an instant attraction to another woman like he had with Brooke Frazee.
“I do trust you, but damn it, I’m scared,” she said on an exhale.
He fisted his hand in the back of her hair. “Good. I’d rather you be scared than think it’s nothing. I’ll be right back, ‘cause I’ve got some explaining to do, right?”
A laugh bubbled out of her. “Damn right you do, mister.”
Another quick peck, and then he was pulling away and sliding out of the vehicle. He tapped the window, pointing at the lock. When she immediately hit the button, he gave her a thumbs up and walked away, pushing thoughts of her and Jack to the back of his mind.
The tour around the cabin showed no signs of an intruder. The trip wires he’d set up, along with those that he knew Erik had in place, were all still exactly as they’d left them. He double checked the doors and windows, making sure they were still secure. “Fuck, I have a son,” he muttered as he rounded the side of the cabin, rakin
g his hand through his hair. Through the darkness, he could make out Brooke in the front of the SUV holding Jack. He picked up his steps until he was next to the passenger door and tapping lightly on the window. She jerked as if he’d scared the crap out of her.
“Sorry,” he said as she unlocked and opened the door. “I thought if I tapped lightly it wouldn’t startle you.”
She held a sleeping Jack closer. “I think I’d have freaked even if you sent a text and smoke signals. Everything okay?”
He nodded. “Did he wake up?”
“Yeah but fell right back to sleep once I put him in my lap. He’s not used to this much activity.” She ran her finger down his chubby cheek.
Jase reached out and followed the same path she’d traced. “He’s perfect. You did a good job.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes. “He really is, isn’t he?”
For a moment, they both stared down at Jack. Jase wanted to wrap them both in his arms and lock the world away, but he knew that was fairy tales and make believe. He lived in the real world, and the real world was hunting the mother of his child, and he planned to find out why.
“Come on, let’s get him inside.” He helped her down, then grabbed the bags out of the back. The wound on his side throbbed, but he knew it was just a flesh wound. When he got Brooke and Jack settled, he’d clean it up and put a bandage on it.
He punched in the keycode for the lock and waited for it to disengage, stepping inside ahead of Brooke and Jack. The hall light was the first thing he turned on, illuminating the long entryway, casting out the shadows. “There’s two bedrooms. You and Jack can have the master, and I’ll take the other one. Let’s go settle him on the bed and then I’ll show you around.”
The small five room cabin wasn’t large, but it was clean and nice. What he liked most was that it was stocked with all the necessities, had a generator that worked, and was ready to go in case of an emergency.
“He looks so tiny in that big bed,” Brooke said as she placed Jack in the center.
Jase nodded. “Should you put pillows around him so he doesn’t roll off?”
She smiled. “No, he’s old enough he should be fine, besides I’ll be with him in a little bit. Come on, let’s take a look at that side now.”
To say she’d shocked him would be a major understatement as he allowed himself to be maneuvered into the large ensuite. “Listen, I’m fine.”
Brooke rolled her eyes and pushed his hands out of the way. “I’m sure you are, but why don’t you just let me see.” Her hands pushed the tactical vest off his shoulders, laying it on the floor with care before she eased the black fabric up.
Jase hissed in a breath as the fabric tore away from the wound. “Sheot,” he grumbled.
“Oh god, I’m sorry. Maybe we should wet it down or something. I think it dried with your sweater to it.”
He gritted his teeth and pulled the material away from the wound and dropped it to the floor. Brooke’s intake of breath had him glancing down to see what she was looking at. The scratch wasn’t bad, just needed a little cleaning and a bandage. “It’s fine. I’ve had worse.” He tried to reassure her.
“When did you get these?” She traced the tattoos on his chest and on his arm. He’d had the skull and designs along with the flag over his shoulder and down his arm done when he’d gotten out of Fort Leavenworth, a symbol of his old life dying and his new life starting. “They’re so detailed.”
“A couple years ago.” He couldn’t look at her when he said that. Staring at the sink, he took a step away. “Can you get me the first aid kit?”
“Oh, yeah. Where is it?” She licked her lips. Her hands dropped to the sides fidgeting with the seam of her pants.
“In the mudroom, off of the kitchen.” He’d seen it there when he brought up groceries the other day.
While she hurried out of the bathroom, he looked at himself, trying to picture what she was seeing. He was thirty-three to her twenty-four. He had dark hair and hadn’t seen any grey in it yet, but the way his life was going he was sure to be seeing some soon. His tattoos were covering his right arm and chest and all across his back. He wondered what she would say when she saw them. His little Brooke had been sweet and almost innocent, too innocent and young for him, but he couldn’t resist her then any more than he could now.
“Here you go,” she said, coming to a halt in the doorway. “Oh, that’s magnificent. So, lifelike.”
Totally stunned, he met her eyes through the mirror. “Thank you,” he said. “I’ll take that.” He nodded toward the kit in her hands.
She shook her head. “Have a seat and I’ll clean it up. I don’t think it’s deep now that it’s stopped bleeding. Oh,” she gasped. “Is that why you wear black, so nobody can see blood on you?”
“Brooke, I’m not the bad guy here,” he reminded her.
He sat on the seat of the toilet and let Brooke clean his wound. She grabbed a towel and tossed it on the floor next to his feet then knelt down, giving him all kinds of dirty thoughts. His thoughts shut down as he watched her deftly clean and apply a cream to the small wound, keeping the curse inside and then helped her apply a bandage.
“I know you’re not the bad guy,” she finally said as she was throwing away the wrappers they’d used.
Jase grabbed one of her hands and pulled her in front of him. From where he sat, she was almost at eye level with him. Or rather, her chest was, putting him in a lower position. Usually he didn’t like to be in such a place, but with her, he allowed it, knowing she needed the feeling of power. “Tell me what you think you know, Brooke.”
She glanced back toward the bedroom and then toward him. “Not in here.”
He nodded; with his hands on her hips, he gave her a little nudge back, giving him room to stand. “Let me grab a clean shirt, and I’ll meet you in the living room.”
No matter what, he knew the day of reckoning was there. He’d tell Brooke everything, leaving nothing out, even things the CIA had told him he couldn’t. She had his son, and he was sure the alphabet fuckers knew about Jack. They’d allowed him to go for two years, almost be killed dozens of times, all while his son was being brought up without him, without a father. He looked up at the ceiling and flipped up the middle finger on both hands. “Fuck you, motherfuckers. That’s my kid. Fuck with me and my life, fine. Not my son.”
A new resolve straightened his spine. He didn’t worry that he could keep himself and Brooke safe, but he would need backup. A team he trusted above all others. One that thought he had betrayed them. “Fuck, I hope Tay still has the same number,” he muttered as he exited the bathroom and went to the bed, staring down at the smallest angel on earth. “I may not have been here for the past two years, but I’ll do everything in my power to be here for the rest of my life.” He laid his hand over Jack’s tiny chest, feeling the beating of his heart. Emotion choking him, he felt the sting of tears and let himself have it for a moment. Let the first tear drop fall, followed by the next. He took a shaky breath, unable to believe he was looking at his son. Bending, he kissed Jack’s cheek, amazed at the downy softness. “I’ll protect you until there’s no breath left in my body, and even then, I’ll make sure you’re safe,” he swore then stepped away. If he didn’t leave the room then, he knew he’d curl up next to the boy and stay there until his son woke or someone made him.
Chapter Six
Brooke slipped back down the hall, tears streaming down her face. Oh god, her heart was breaking at the real heartache Jase was showing as he stood next to the bed and talked to their sleeping son. She thought back to the day he’d told her he was leaving and when her dad had given her a similar message from Jase. She didn’t understand why at the time they’d both been so cruel in the way they’d ended things with her. Sure, she’d been falling head over heels for Jase. Maybe she’d been building dreams of the two of them together, but she wasn’t a young naïve teenager bent on ruining her life. Well, some would say getting pregnant may have been a bad decision, but she
would never regret having Jack.
She got out two bottles of water from the fridge. A bundle of bananas had her smiling as she pictured Jack wanting his favorite treat when he woke up.
“What’s that smile for?” Jase asked as he entered the room with a clean black shirt.
“I was just thinking Jack would enjoy a peanut butter and banana sandwich tomorrow.” She held out one of the bottles for him. He took it and unscrewed the lid, taking a long pull before he looked at her again.
“Good thing I’ve got the best peanut butter.” He grinned. “Let’s go into the living room and have a seat.”
Nodding, she followed him. Finally, she’d have answers. His easy grin and acceptance of their son as his own lifted a weight off her shoulders.
Jase motioned to the couch while he paced by the fireplace. “It’ll be easier if you sit down. I’m not sure where to begin.”
“How about the beginning,” she said helpfully. “Tell me why you left the way you did. I thought we…that you and I were starting something. Instead, you made me feel like just another notch.” She had to take a deep breath to keep the anger from her tone.
He shook his head. “You were anything but a notch, Brooke. Your dad was waiting by my truck, when I came back from walking you to your door. Basically, he told me if I didn’t leave you alone, he’d make sure I regretted it. He was powerful and could ruin my career. I could see the truth in his eyes when he threatened me. If I continued to see you, he’d make sure I had nothing. Hell, he had the power to have me court martialed on a trumped-up charge.” He turned away. “I ended up getting exactly that and doing time. I bet your dad laughed his ass off over that. To this day, I don’t know why he hated me. I only know that he must’ve been worried I’d figure out what he was.”