by KL Donn
“No,” she answered quickly. “You?” It was almost as an afterthought.
“Parents, one brother, one sister.” Seemed neither of them wanted to speak of their families. He was at a loss on how to lighten things up, but he wanted to see her smile again. It made him feel like he could climb mountains when she did.
“Is it supposed to be this hard?” Her sudden and frank question shocked him for about two seconds before he chuckled lightly.
“I have no damn clue. Haven’t been on a date in years.”
She smiled at his admission, and he felt like he was in heaven. Her eyes sparkled, and she had this dimple on her cheek that he wanted to dip his tongue into. “I’ve never been on one.”
Her soft confession left him shocked for what felt like the tenth time that night. “Never? Not in high school? I find that hard to believe.”
Her brows drew down in consternation at his words. “Why?”
He hadn’t meant it the way it obviously sounded to her. “Because if a man hasn’t asked you out, then he’s a fucking idiot. Then again, their loss is my gain.”
“If you say so.” She wasn’t convinced.
“Here we are!” Derek bounced over with their food, placing each plate in front of them. “Can I get you anything else?” Ev shook her head at him.
“We’re good, thanks,” Case told the other man gruffly.
As they dug into their food, the flavors of the salsa exploded on his palate. The chicken was cooked to tender perfection, and if Ev’s moan of culinary pleasure was anything to go by, she was enjoying it just as much. When she licked a drop of salsa from the corner of her mouth he froze, forgetting what he was doing. Enjoyment was written across her features, and he was stuck in a trance as she swallowed every delicious morsel of food.
“Good?” he finally croaked out.
Her eyes popped open as if she forgot that he was there. Wiping her mouth with a napkin, she beamed. “Delicious.”
Somehow Case had convinced Ev to go back to his place. He told her he had something to show her. Something she could only enjoy in the early morning hours just before sunrise. Since dawn was approaching faster than she’d anticipated, she agreed. An hour out of the city and fully into the country and she was feeling nervous again.
It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, as moody as he could be. It was the unknown that she was uncomfortable with. “Not much further,” he told her, breaking the silence. “You ok?” Grabbing her hand, he brought it to his lips for a light kiss.
“Yes,” she lied. “No.” What was the point? “I don’t like not knowing where I am or where I’m going, and with it being nearly five in the morning and completely dark, I’m slightly terrified you could be an ax murderer ready to chop me in pieces and leave me in a field somewhere.” So she was exaggerating, sue her.
“I prefer to harvest organs, first. Makes for good iron.” Her startled eyes and loud gasp had him laughing so hard he was bent over the steering wheel.
“That is so not funny, Casey,” she admonished him. The ass.
“Oh, Kitten, the only eating I plan to do of you will be with light nips and tender kisses.” She felt the blush work its way up her chest and into her cheeks.
“Here we are,” he announced as they drove down a winding gravel driveway, past a large house, and parked in front of a smaller cabin.
As she jumped from his over-sized truck, she looked between the cabin they were standing in front of and the house they had just passed. “Who lives there?” Ev inquired.
“You remember Dom?” he asked, grabbing her hand and pulling her behind him.
“Yes.” She followed warily.
“He, Double D, and Jax live there. Dom owns the farm.” They rounded the corner of his cabin to a ladder that led up to the roof. Beside it sat a small outdoor storage box. “Climb up,” he told her, opening the lid and pulling out two large blankets and a huge pillow.
“To the roof?” Disbelief rang through her words.
“Yup.” He waited for her to go.
“This roof? Like all the way up?” Is he crazy?
“That’s the one. Don’t worry, I’ll be right behind you.” For some reason, she wasn’t nearly as reassured as he probably wanted her to be.
“You’re nuts!” She began to climb with him just one rung below her.
“Probably,” was his smart ass reply.
There wasn’t as much of a slope on the roof as she’d expected which helped her breathe a sigh of relief. “Sit here,” he told her, pointing to a flatter area. Doing as he said, she watched as he first laid one blanket down, then placed the pillow over top of it. He sat in the middle, one leg propped up while the other lay flat, beckoning her over. “Come here.” Case patted the spot between his legs. Doing as she was told, she was startled when his large hands enveloped her hips to guide her down. When she was settled, he covered them with the other blanket and buried his head in her hair, saying to her, “You smell so good.”
Fully encompassed in not just his arms but his entire body, she’d never felt safer. Never felt more at home. In that one split second, she could imagine him being her everything. As if she gave herself to him, he would consume her every thought and entire self. The thought was both terrifying and exhilarating. She wanted to be somebody’s special person. She wanted to be their everything.
“Tell me what you’re thinking?” he demanded. It was almost as if he could read her mind.
“Have you ever thought what it would be like to be someone’s everything? To have someone be that important to you?” Did she sound as silly as she thought she did?
“Evelyn,” he kissed her neck, lingering longer than necessary. “You are my person.”
Stunned and awe-struck, she turned to him whispering, “I can’t be.”
“Why the hell not?” He sounded upset like she’d taken his favorite toy away.
“Because you don’t know me. Not really. How can I be your person when this is the only time we’ve actually spent together?”
“What if I told you I know all I need to know?” he countered.
“What do you think you know?” she demanded this time.
“I know that you live to dance. When you’re on stage, you don’t think about money or what someone thinks of your body. You only consider the freedom you feel.”
“How do you know that?” She was breathless.
“Your eyes close as soon as the lights turn on, and you have this peaceful calm about you like there’s no one else in the room. When the music stops, and you get an applause, your eyes pop open in surprise. You forget about everyone and everything surrounding you.” He was right.
“What else?” she asked, needing to know how much else he thought he knew.
“I know that when you’re angry your nose scrunches up like the chick from I Dream of Genie, and your eyebrows twitch.”
“They do not.” She smoothed them out just in case.
He laughed at her actions. “They do, and it’s cute as fuck. I also know that you’re sad. Your eyes show how lonely you are, and frankly, I want to sucker-punch anyone who has ever made you feel that way. I know you spend more time at the club than at home. I don’t know why, but I will find out.” When Ev tried to interject, he continued. “And I also know you’re not ready to tell me. That’s okay for now, but Kitten, you will tell me. Soon.”
Well, fuck.
How the hell did he come up with all that in only a few brief meetings? She barely understood that stuff about herself. Hadn’t figured out the answers to any of it, either.
“Tell me a secret?” she asked him quietly. Needing to know something more about him.
“What kind of secret?” he asked just as quietly.
“Something no one knows.”
He pondered her question for so long she didn’t think he’d ever answer her. “Jealousy consumes me when I watch the way Dee looks at Dom, the way she interacts with him. I want that.�
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Shifting so she was facing him more, she had to know the answer to her question. “Do you have feelings for her?” If he did, she didn’t think she could handle the heartbreak.
His bark of laughter made her jump a little. “No. She’s like a little sister to me. It’s the love and respect, the bond they share that I want. After everything I’ve been through, I didn’t realize how much I wanted that until Dom brought her home.”
“What have you been through?” she wondered. Instinctively she knew it was bad.
It was his turn to be startled by her question. “What have I been through?” It was rhetorical, more like his own disbelief forced the question from him. “I was a soldier. An Army Ranger for seven years.”
“That was brave. Thank you.” She began rubbing his thigh in encouragement.
Casey looked confused by her words, and asked, “Thank you? For what?” He was genuinely puzzled.
“Your service.”
“Oh.”
“Has no one ever thanked you before?”
“Honestly, I don’t think I’ve given anyone a chance to.” Deep in thought, it looked as if he were trying to remember if they had or not.
Feeling brave like they were finally getting to know each other on a deeper level, she asked him, “Why did you leave?”
A harder look than she’d ever seen before crossed his face. It was almost anger. “I’m not sure you’re ready for that answer yet.” Fury laced his tone. It wasn’t exactly directed at her, more at the memory of why he left.
“Ok.” She told him not wanting to push more than he was ready to give. Not when she wasn’t able to give all of herself yet, either.
Literally shaking his anger away, he replied, “Your turn, tell me a secret.”
She had to think. There were so many. It was hard to distinguish which he wouldn’t get angry over. Deciding to go with a semi-fun one she told him, “When Lacey and I were younger, we used to climb the neighbor's tree and steal her plums and apples.” The recollection was silly, but it was the only time she remembered with any fondness before her sister slowly began to morph into their mom.
“That’s it?” he asked. She shouldn’t be hurt by his easy dismissal of one of her few good memories, but it stung a little.
“I guess. It was the only thing we did together that didn’t involve drugs, alcohol, or pimps. We didn’t have an easy life. I was forgotten more often than not. Stealing that fruit was the only thing we ever got to eat. We would pretend we lived in the jungle or somewhere tropical instead of the shitty streets of Baltimore where we were two forgotten girls left behind by a drug addicted mother.”
Tears swam in her eyes and clogged her throat as he pulled her closer, whispering in her ear, “I’m sorry, Kitten, so fucking sorry.”
“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.” So much emotion from the stress of the past few weeks had built up inside her, and she felt like a dam about ready to break.
“You’re right, but I shouldn’t have tossed your secret away. I didn’t mean to make it any less significant than what it is to you. Never let the bad push out the good, Ev, never.”
Needing to leave the heavy stuff alone, she asked him, “What are you showing me?”
He had a look of relief and mischief in his eyes as he told her, “Lay back here with me and watch.”
Laying down, he pulled her to his chest so her ear lay over his heart. She listened as every pounding beat told her of his impeccable strength. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the rhythm of his every breath, the rise and fall of his chest. It wasn’t long before it lulled her into a sleep-like state. She felt the arm underneath her move to draw lazy circles on the small of her back just above her pants. She tried to concentrate on what Casey was drawing but kept coming up blank.
“It won’t be long now,” he whispered into her hair.
“Mmhmm,” she moaned. Completely content in never moving again if only he would keep drawing on her.
She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, he was lightly shaking her awake, saying, “Kitten, look.”
Opening her eyes, she glanced at him to see he was pointing off in the distance just as the sun crested the tree line. The shades of yellow and orange making it into the perfect golden hue. Small lines of bright red slithered through the trees as it rose through the branches and leaves.
She’d never seen anything like it. Sure, she’d seen sunrises before but nothing so glorious. It was the most beautiful promise of a new day. “It’s gorgeous!”
“I sit here most mornings or pass out most nights just to catch this glimpse,” Case began to explain to her. “It has a calming effect, I guess.” He sounded sheepish.
They sat in silence enjoying the kaleidoscope of colors as they crossed the sky. Marveled as a massive Hawk soared through the air, dipping low to hunt for its prey. Just when she thought it’d disappeared into the trees, the magnificent bird flew high above the clouds, a mouse gripped in its claws.
“They’re so majestic.” She was enamored with its sleek beauty.
“A beautiful sight, for sure,” he agreed.
Ev glanced towards Casey to find him not watching the bird but gazing at her. A look in his eyes she couldn’t or maybe wasn’t ready to decipher just yet.
“I have to show you something else.” His words sounded ominous. His eyes darkened with fear. What could he have to fear?
“All right.”
“Let’s go inside then.” He helped her down the ladder after tossing the blankets to the ground. Once he’d gotten everything packed away, they went inside his small cabin-like home.
She watched as this enigmatic man puttered around his kitchen, making coffee, pulling muffins from the fridge. He seemed…restless. As if he were dreading having to tell her whatever it was he wanted. Which in turn, had her terrified of what it could be.
Was he married? Was he playing her?
Did he think she was a waste of time?
Did he have children and was worried she wouldn’t like it?
All those questions plus a thousand other off-the-wall ones were rolling through her head. What could be so bad that he was avoiding telling her?
He pulled out a chair at his kitchen table for her to sit. As soon as she was settled, he shocked her by unbuckling and dropping his pants.
What was even more shocking was what he revealed. Certainly not a question that was rolling through her mind as she waited.
Her silence was deafening.
Was she disgusted? Would she run?
Did he sound like a hormonal teenage girl? Because he sure felt like one.
He’d never had the inclination to share his biggest insecurity with anyone other than Dom before. For him, this was a huge moment. It felt as though this could be a make it or break it moment for them. If she couldn’t get past this, they were going nowhere. If she hesitated in her response, he would always wonder if she were actually fine with it. And if she accepted it, he would be on top of the fucking world with happiness.
Her eyes were wide with shock, her mouth slack in her speechless state.
He waited for what felt like forever when she finally cleared her throat and asked, “That’s it?”
Looking down to his leg then up to her eyes and back to his leg again, he wasn’t sure who was in shock anymore, her or him. “What do you mean, that’s it?” His eyes were squinted in a semblance of a glare, but he wasn’t quite there yet, not until he found out what she was feeling.
“Well, I’ll admit I’m shocked as hell. I mean you sometimes have this small limp, and I wondered about it, but this answers that question.” She didn’t sound disgusted. Upset maybe, but that could be because she wasn’t expecting him to have an amputated leg. “But this was not one of the million questions running through my mind on what you had to tell me. I expected a wife, or a child, or you admitting you just wanted a good time. Not this.”
He still couldn�
�t get a read on how she felt. When he went to pull his pants back up because he was tired of feeling exposed, she rushed to kneel on the floor at his feet. Gripping his jeans, she begged, “Please, don’t.” Releasing them to her hold, he waited for what she would do next.
Her gentle hands stroked up and down his thigh and through the coarse hairs covering his skin when she finally ran the fingers of one hand over the sleeve of his prosthesis and slowly drew it all the way down to the boot on his foot.
“Does it hurt?” Her hesitant question had him looking back to the soft features of her face. She held nothing but inquisitiveness in her expression, and he felt a moment of regret and worry for revealing himself so soon.
He thought she wouldn’t be ready to finally see the real him, but now the question was, was he capable of showing her his true self?
“Sometimes,” he finally answered.
“You’ve had it on all night. Do you need to take it off?” She sounded eager. As though she wanted to know and see all of him.
It didn’t matter that his stump was hurting like a son of a bitch and that the sleeve was itchy as hell, he just didn’t believe he could do it. He thought he was ready, but he wasn’t and soon panic flowed through his veins; his heart rate was out of control. His lungs threatened to seize the longer she looked at him, waiting to help him however she could.
He wasn’t fucking ready.
She saw it. The open acceptance on her face quickly turned to sadness the longer he hesitated, and he was helpless to stop it. He wasn’t ready to bare everything. Because if he did, then that meant she would have questions, and he would have to talk about the shit he went through. Why he was living with his best friend and not anywhere near his family.
Slowly getting to her feet, she kissed his cheek lightly. “I have to get home anyway,” she told him.
When the relief hit him, he felt like absolute shit for not only making her want to leave but for wanting her to leave as well. He needed to breathe, and because he felt so exposed already, he didn’t imagine he could accomplish it with her here any longer.