by Lulu Taylor
Xander took a mat and opened his wrap out, pouring the powder on to the shiny surface. Everyone carried on chatting but Imogen watched as he chopped up the powder with a razorblade from his wallet, clearly well practised at it. When he’d refined it sufficiently, he divided it up into five neat lines, took out a silver straw and passed it first to Allegra.
‘This is cute,’ she said, holding the straw.
‘Present from James,’ replied Xander. ‘He had it made ’specially.’
Allegra put the straw to her nostril and made short work of one of the lines. ‘Mmmm,’ she said, sniffing and putting her head back. ‘That’s good. Here you are, Midge.’
Imogen took it and followed suit. She hadn’t had any cocaine since the days of the fiercest partying with Allegra before meeting Sam, but as soon as she’d inhaled it she remembered the numbness of her gums, the bitter taste at the back of her throat and the rush of confidence that followed. I can see why Xander likes it. She liked it too – but she also knew its power and had been careful not to acquire a taste for it.
Immediately they had taken the cocaine, the party seemed to shift into another gear. What had been a pleasant enough dinner with some wine and some friends, suddenly became something edgier. It was nearly dark. Candles were lit. Allegra began to flirt more blatantly with Luca. Xander cut more lines and passed the little mat round again. Allegra declared she wanted to dance and began to move around sensuously, humming to herself, while Luca watched her with appreciative eyes. After a while he got up and joined her, and before long they’d disappeared together into the darkness.
A few minutes later, laughter and shouts came from the perimeter of the lawn.
‘What are those two up to?’ Xander said, his face illuminated by the flickering golden light of the candles. ‘Shall we go and see, Imogen?’
She got up at once, her heart beginning to race. ‘Yes.’
‘Oh, great, I’ll just stay here like a bloody great gooseberry,’ Ollie said crossly. ‘Not enough women at your bloody parties, McCorquodale!’
Xander laughed and shrugged. He stood up and took Imogen’s hand. ‘Bad luck, mate. You should have tried harder with Allegra.’
The next moment, he and Imogen were wandering together, hand in hand, into the soft darkness.
This is perfect happiness, she thought, as they made their way across the lawn and into the heathery woodland beyond, smelling the warm grassy scents of the summer night. There was the subtle chirrup of crickets and soft fluttering as birds settled down for the night. Walking with Xander, holding his hand, knowing that sooner or later he’s going to kiss me …
He said nothing to her but the air was rich with tension. As her eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, she guessed where they were going, and a few minutes later they arrived at the pink marble temple that glowed white in the moonlight. There were distant shrieks and laughter. Allegra and Luca were far away, perhaps down by the water from the sound of it.
As soon as they were in the temple, Xander turned to Imogen and, without a word, seemed to fall upon her as though he wanted to devour her. His mouth was pressed to hers, his warm tongue pushing at her lips until her mouth opened, while his hands were tugging at her clothes, pulling down the straps of her dress, yanking at her zip, lifting the skirt and bunching it around her thighs, as though he wanted everything to happen at once and as fast as possible.
All she could do was help him: she wanted to surrender to him utterly, to demonstrate the extent of her passion for him by giving herself to him exactly as he wanted. She pulled her zip down and let her dress fall to the floor, then undid her bra so he could pull it off. With a smooth movement, she pulled down her knickers and stepped out of them, so she was completely naked in front of him.
Then he was pushing her down to the ground, taking her with him to the marble floor. She gasped as her bare skin touched the icy stone. He pulled off his polo shirt, put it under her back and lay down beside her, still kissing her as though she were offering him the breath of life. She put her arms round his warm body, glorying in the sensation of his smooth skin under her palms, and then moved her hand down to his shorts. His cock was rock hard against his fly. As she unbuttoned it, his penis seemed to leap free, eager to find her. He rolled over so that he was between her thighs and she pushed the shorts and his boxers down so he was entirely released.
‘Christ …’ he muttered. He dipped his head and buried his face in the tender part of her neck where it met her shoulder, kissing and nipping her in a way that was almost unbearable. She closed her eyes and put her head back, turning her consciousness inwards so that she concentrated only on what she could feel: his penis was pushing against her mound, its head occasionally pressing against the bud of her clitoris and sending a strong buzz of pleasure radiating through her whole body. He pulled back his hips and grasped his cock in his hand and directed it towards the entrance of her pussy. She was ready for him.
For a moment, his tip pushed at the tight hole, then he found the sweet spot and his cock moved freely, her juices making it easy for him to slide in, filling her up in the most delicious way. She made a sound like a kind of sob: an expression of the beauty of what she was experiencing. He seemed to be in the very heart of her, moving inside, while his mouth gnawed and pulled at her neck, nipping and sucking and driving her wild.
‘Oh my God …’ she gasped.
He began to breathe heavily as he picked up pace and moved inside her faster and faster. She threw her legs round his back, desperate to drive him deeper and deeper inside her. She wanted them to become one completely, to possess him as utterly as she could. Reaching down, she seized his buttocks and dug her nails into them, pulling him down into her core.
He changed position slightly, making her move one leg and interlock it with his, then he slowed his pace and began to thrust into her rhythmically and slowly.
She gasped again and opened her eyes, watching his face as he moved. The new position meant that as he pushed in to his deepest, he rubbed against her clitoris at its most sensitive point, sending shudders of pleasure through her that increased in intensity with every thrust.
‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Yes …’ It was all she could say.
‘Is that right? Is that good?’ murmured Xander.
‘Yes!’ It seemed so feeble but it was all she could do to say that, with the sensations that were beginning to overwhelm her. It was like nothing she had known before: it felt as though all control were being taken from her and all she could do was let it happen. Oh my God, I’m going to come … she thought, half astonished, half elated. She’d thought she’d had orgasms before: little tremulous things that Sam rubbed her to with his fingers. Never had she felt this extraordinary rush, never like this, with a cock plunging strong and hard inside her and the unbearable, unstoppable rubbing of Xander’s body on her clit. It’s happening … I can’t stop it, I have to come …
She pulled him to her as her head went back, and she cried out with astonishment as the climax gripped her, shaking her from within through her whole body. Xander gasped and his back arched, he pushed hard into her and the waves broke over them both.
It was some moments before they came back to themselves and an awareness that they were lying on freezing stone.
‘I wasn’t expecting that,’ Xander whispered, stroking her cheek. ‘I often can’t perform as completely as I’d like when a bit of charlie’s been involved, if you see what I mean.’
‘You didn’t seem to have too much of a problem,’ Imogen said, smiling, luxuriating in the wonderful post-orgasm feeling, and the intimacy she felt with him.
‘Oh, dear.’ He inspected her neck. ‘I seem to have left my mark on you.’
Her hand went to it. It felt fine. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I’ve given you a love bite.’ He grinned at her. ‘What on earth is your boyfriend going to say?’
‘Sam …’ She’d forgotten all about him, as usual.
‘You won’t be able to
hide that from him, will you?’ He took hold of her hand and kissed it. ‘So very sweet,’ he murmured. ‘Everything about you – so sweet. I want you to stop wasting yourself on men who aren’t worthy of you. Do you promise?’
She nodded, not able to take her eyes off his mouth. Was there ever such a beautiful, well-formed mouth, such perfect lips? ‘I’m going to tell him we have to break up.’
‘Darling, I’d say it’s non-negotiable. Now, you’re shivering. Let’s get you dressed and off this bloody cold floor.’
Chapter 27
ALLEGRA ROLLED OVER and looked at Luca’s handsome face as he slept beside her. They’d had fun last night, skinny dipping in the loch and fooling around on the shore. Then they’d come back to find Ollie had gone to bed and Xander and Imogen were nowhere to be seen, so they’d gone to Allegra’s room.
He isn’t bad, Allegra decided. She liked the patch of soft dark curls that spread out across his chest towards his dark brown nipples, and the caffe-latte colour of his skin. Those dark, heavy-boned looks were so different from her own blonde fairness, and she admired the contrast: soft white wrist against a brown one dusted with fine black hair.
What had the sex been like? The same as always, she decided. Whenever she had sex, the same thing happened every time. She would try to lose herself and enjoy it, but always there was that out-of-body sensation, as though she were floating up and observing what was happening from far above. Then the little voice would begin: she hated that little voice but nothing would make it be quiet. It insisted on making its running commentary on events, always with that edge of contempt in its tone: ‘Look at you now, with your tits out. Are you really going to let him suck you like that? It doesn’t feel very good, does it? It feels of nothing! What does he think he’s doing? That’s right, open your legs, just as you always do! Now, here it comes. You’d better sigh or moan or he won’t think you’re enjoying it …’
But I could enjoy it, I know I could, if I could only be allowed, she thought furiously. What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t enjoy sex, I can’t fall in love … I’m just not normal. She knew what she was scared of: she was being punished for the bad things she’d done. For Sophie Harcourt. For that bad man in Paris who’d made her do those things with him. For not being good enough for everything she’d got.
Luca stirred and rolled towards her, his face innocent in sleep.
Could I fall in love with him? she wondered. Can he break the spell?
But she was already sure it was a waste of time. Hadn’t the voice told her so even while she was pounding on top of him, urging him to his climax? It’s a waste of time! it had said scornfully. And it was always right.
Allegra stormed out on to the terrace. ‘Xander! Did you really shag Imogen last night? Ollie says you did!’
Her brother was reviving himself with black coffee and fruit salad while Ollie and Luca had gone down to the tennis court for a match, saying they wanted to sweat out the toxins.
He looked up, unperturbed. ‘Morning. You haven’t been listening to idle gossip again, have you? Besides, what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. You shagged Luca.’
‘That’s different!’ she said crossly, putting her hands on her hips.
‘Why?’
‘Imogen’s my friend!’
‘Luca’s my friend.’
‘It’s not the same, and you know it’s not. You’ve known Midge for years. She’s a friend of both of us. You can’t just sleep with her!’
Xander remained irritatingly calm. ‘It’s fine, and it’s none of your business. She knows how it is. She understands. It’s just something very sweet and nice between two old friends.’
Allegra frowned. ‘Are you sure she sees it that way? You know, she’s always had a soft spot for you. If you start sleeping with her, she’s bound to fall in love with you, and then you’ll break her heart. You mustn’t do it, you really mustn’t.’
‘All right then, if it bothers you so much, I won’t.’ Xander shrugged and took another sip of his coffee. ‘Like I said, it’s not a big deal.’
‘You haven’t led her on or anything, have you?’ Allegra said warningly. ‘You’re the one who was telling me not to lead her astray!’
‘Of course I haven’t. I said some nice things to her – and I meant them. She’s a lovely girl and I’m very fond of her. But I’ve never said anything more than that. I’m not going to lie to her. Like I said, she knows how it is.’
‘Oh, God, I blame myself for this.’ Allegra walked over to the edge of the terrace and stared out over the loch, which was covered in little white caps where the wind was whipping up the water. ‘I told her to look out for you. I probably set the whole thing off. Oh, bugger …’ She turned back to her brother with a warning expression. ‘If you’ve done anything to hurt her, Xander, I’ll be so furious with you! It’s not fair to include her in your womanising ways.’
‘If it matters that much to you, I won’t go near her again,’ he said in a bored voice. ‘You’re making way too much of this, Allegra.’
‘Good. I think it’s best if you don’t. I couldn’t bear it if you messed her up.’
‘Quid pro quo, Allegra. Go easy on Luca.’ Xander grinned. ‘Ever spent any time with a broken-hearted Italian? It ain’t easy. All those tragic arias.’
‘Ha, ha.’ She went back over to the table and sat down. ‘Now can I please have some coffee? I’ve got a hell of hangover here.’
Allegra wasn’t surprised when Imogen didn’t call that day. Not only were they all wiped out after the impromptu party, but Sam was due.
Whenever she thought about Xander and Imogen, she felt a surge of protectiveness towards her friend. I’ve been so stupid. Of course … she’s not in love with Sam, and she’s so romantic, she’s bound to fall for someone like Xander – the charming but reckless womaniser who needs looking after. I was an idiot to put the idea into her head. I’ve got to warn her off before she starts getting some kind of serious crush on him. I’d be caught in the middle, she’d get hurt … it’d be awful.
When Imogen did ring the next day and suggested coming over to Foughton, Allegra said that she was bored of hanging round at home, and what she actually needed was a trip out. Why didn’t they to go to Edinburgh and do some shopping?
They met outside Jenners on Princes Street, just as they always had since they were schoolgirls, and wandered about, eventually finding a nice little tea room where they could take a break from the busy streets outside. The festival would be starting soon, and the city was filling up in preparation.
Allegra ordered a pot of Earl Grey and lit up a cigarette, while Imogen decided to have a banana milkshake.
‘So – quite a night the other night!’ Allegra said, with a mischievous grin, mentioning the subject for the first time. ‘I suppose you know I pulled Luca?’
‘Did you?’ Imogen seemed very interested in stirring the blob of ice cream that was melting on top of the yellow milk. ‘I thought you might have.’
‘Mmm.’ Allegra nodded, holding a mouthful of smoke for a moment and then exhaling. ‘It was a laugh, actually. We had a swim and then went back to my room and got serious.’
‘What was he like?’
‘Passionate.’ Allegra nodded. ‘He really put his back into it.’ She laughed. ‘I could hardly walk the next day.’
‘Are you going to see him again?’
‘Maybe. He’s gone now. So has Ollie. Xander’s still at home, but he wants to leave before the family start arriving. It’s going to be grouse-shooting fever for the next few weeks and he isn’t that keen.’ Allegra looked carefully at Imogen who still appeared entirely unaffected by the subject matter, except for a slight pink stain on her cheeks. Thank God for that! ‘So … how about you?’
‘What about me?’
‘A little bird told me that you and Xander got kind of close the other night.’
Imogen’s face turned scarlet. ‘Oh … well, yes … a bit …’ She looked confused and stop
ped talking.
Allegra laughed. ‘Well, we all got a bit carried away, I suppose. I had stern words with him.’
‘Did he say anything about it?’ Imogen said breathlessly, her grey eyes eager.
‘Not really. Just that he thinks you’re sweet.’
‘Does he?’ Her face lit up. ‘Did he say that?’
Allegra leant towards her friend, her own eyes kind but serious. ‘Midge, I don’t want to be horrible but I’ve got to say it: please don’t get het up over Xander. He’s not a prospect. Really. He’s far too flaky for you and he’d mess you about. You know what’s he’s like, he’s an incorrigible womaniser. He loves them and leaves them all the time. Steer well clear, that’s my advice. You deserve someone much more reliable – like Sam.’
‘That’s all finished,’ mumbled Imogen glancing away. Her hand went to her neck where she wore a scarf tightly knotted. ‘We agreed it was best.’
‘Oh, God, I’m sorry. Was it horrible?’
Imogen nodded, looking downcast. ‘It was. He wasn’t happy.’
Allegra put her hand on her friend’s. ‘I’m sorry, love. But you did say it was going to happen, so I suppose it can’t be too upsetting for you. And you’ll find someone else, I know you will.’ She took her hand away and lifted up her china tea cup. ‘Just make sure he’s nothing like Xander, that’s all.’
‘All right,’ Imogen said in a weak voice. ‘It didn’t mean anything, I suppose.’
‘Exactly. I’m glad you see it that way. I think it’s much the healthiest approach. Besides, you and Xander … well, it’s a bit close for comfort, isn’t it?’ Allegra sipped her tea. There. I think that’s sorted it. Thank God I found out about it before any more damage was done.
Chapter 28
IMOGEN SPED ALONG the road to Foughton, driving more recklessly than usual, shooting past slow lorries and overtaking cautious holiday drivers unaccustomed to the winding country roads. Adrenaline coursed through her.