Belle glared after them for a minute, but it wasn’t because she was upset. Her temper was all fake. The truth was she might have to grovel and cry and act pathetic, and if that’s what it took, so be it! But that didn’t mean it came easy to her.
It took awhile to gather the gumption to admit she was wrong on every count straight down the line. She squared her shoulders and headed for the ranch house.
As soon as she looked where she was going, she saw Silas standing on the porch at the top of the steps, leaning one shoulder against a sturdy support post with his arms folded and one ankle crossed over the other one.
She faltered a bit at the cranky look on his face that told her he wasn’t going to settle for any less than an abject apology, but she had the guts to keep moving. Whatever he said, she reckoned she deserved it.
She stopped at the bottom of the steps, and her mind went completely blank. Apologizing wasn’t something she did much of. “We…uh…we want to live here.”
Silas just stared at her.
“With you.”
He cocked his head slightly to the side but didn’t speak.
Belle sighed deeply. “We…I’m sorry. I can’t believe I didn’t trust you after all you did for us. I…Even if I didn’t, I should have talked to you. I should have told you what I was thinking, how upset I was.”
Still nothing.
“Well, go ahead and yell at me if you want to.” Belle was getting tired of being contrite. It just didn’t sit well. She tried one more time. “I was wrong, and I’m sorry, and you don’t have to prove yourself to me ever again. If you sit down on your tail and never lift a finger to help me again, even if we’re married for fifty years, I’ll never think you’re lazy. I’ll never doubt your word, and I’ll never breathe a word of criticism.”
Still no response.
“I promise that if you say you’ll take care of the chores, I’ll let the chickens starve and the cattle wander off and the vegetable garden dry up and die before I believe ill of you.”
Silas was silent.
Anger stabbed her, but it wasn’t her strongest reaction. She was afraid.
What if he never forgave her?
What if he never smiled at her and hugged the girls?
What if he didn’t want to have a baby with her and he never came to her again in the night?
“All right!” She flung her arms wide. It burned. It burned bad. But she made herself say the most outrageous, impossible, stupid thing she’d ever said.
“I’ll obey you!”
CHAPTER 28
Silas felt his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.
His arms dropped from the stubborn crossed position he held them in. He stood up straight. “Really?”
Belle nodded.
“You’ll let me give you orders?” He had to fight a smile of triumph.
“I said I would, didn’t I?” Belle fisted her hands and propped them on her hips defiantly, but her words didn’t match her movements. “I’ll obey any orders you want. You’re the boss of this ranch, and what you say goes.”
“Well, that sounds interesting. Let me think.” Silas rubbed his chin between his thumb and forefinger and stared at the sky so he wouldn’t laugh out loud at the faces she was making while she was trying to be apologetic and submissive.
It was killing her.
He didn’t think it was a good idea for her to realize how much he was enjoying the sight. She probably only had so much “obey” in her, and she was likely to start growling any minute.
On the other hand, he thought he had a right to a little getting even with her for all the hurt she’d caused him. “What if I told you I’ve never cared much for that silly T Bar brand? We’re changing it. I registered my own under Circle H in Helena, and starting this spring, all our calves are going to wear it. That’s what I used to call my spread down in New Mexico, and it suited me.”
Belle swallowed visibly, and Silas thought she was choking over his first order. “The T Bar stands for something out here. I’ve spent the last sixteen years building that name into—” Then she clenched her jaw shut.
Silas could see her physically trying to stop the words that wanted to escape her lips. She must have gained control of herself, because finally she said rather hoarsely, “Yes, Silas. Circle H sounds fine.”
Oh, this was lining itself up to be one of the best days of his life. He wondered how much she’d take. “And I don’t like the way you’ve been breaking the horses. There’re none of ’em trained the way good cow ponies should be. I might let Emma help once they’re green broke, but I don’t want you taking a hand. You teach ’em bad habits it’ll take me years training out of ’em.”
“Silas! My horses are—I’ll have you know—” Belle must’ve bit her tongue, because she got the words to stop spewing.
Silas tilted his head a bit sideways. He expected nothing less than her trying to do things her way and leave him out. And considering her horses were some of the finest, best-trained stock he’d ever seen, it was reasonable for her to want to help. Still, tormenting her was too good to miss.
She breathed in and out of her nose so loudly he could hear it. Then she said through her bared teeth, “I’ll let you take care of that, Silas.”
Silas started backing across the porch. He opened the door behind him. “Come in here, woman.”
Belle hesitated, and Silas saw some of the flashing rage in her eyes ease.
Silas had the impression she was feeling guilty, like maybe she didn’t think she deserved to go into such a fine house as the one he’d spent every waking moment of the last month building just for her. But he didn’t give her a break, not when he was having such a good time. He crossed the threshold with her still standing on the ground, and he decided the best way to get her inside was to say, “While we’re on the subject of changes, I don’t like the way you dress. I’d like my woman to look a mite more like a female.”
Belle surged forward up the stairs, so mad Silas thought her hair might stand on end if it weren’t caught back in her braid. She stormed into the house. “You listen to me…mmph.”
Silas shut that yapping mouth right up with his lips. He swung the door shut and broke off the kiss just enough to speak. “Did I mention that I want more children with you than you’ve given to the other husbands?” He made sure to kiss her so deeply she couldn’t respond to that.
Finally, he pulled back. “Combined.”
When she was clinging to him, he kissed his way along her jawline and murmured in her pretty little ear, “I won’t feel right about it if my young’uns aren’t in the majority. So that’s five more babies, woman.”
“Five more?” Belle asked weakly. “That’s nine children.”
He silenced her again until she shuddered in his arms. “Did I say just five more? I meant five boys. However many babies it takes to get that number of boys is what I expect from you.”
“I…I don’t think…I may not be able…I’ve shown no talent for birthing boys, Silas.” She was almost wailing before she was done.
He slid his hands down her back and pulled her hard up against him. “Are you disobeying me, woman?”
“Umm…the other girls all have your name.” She was starting to sound wimpy. Like a regular female. He thought he almost had her toeing the line.
Silas kissed her again. He really didn’t want to think of Belle going through the dangers of having babies many more times. Besides, he considered the girls to be, in all ways, his own, so there was no point in trying to match up the number of children. But what was the fun in admitting that?
Belle said, when he let her breathe, “I’ll do whatever you want, Silas.”
“Anything?” She wasn’t obedient worth a hoot as a rule, but he remembered how agreeable she always got when they were alone. This sweetness would no doubt wear off. In fact, he was surprised it had lasted this long. And the only reason it had was because he was distracting her.
But obedience aside, as soon as h
e was done teasing her, he was going to sit her down and apologize for his own foolishness in not telling her he was building a house. Silas admitted he’d been selfish in wanting to impress her. He should have known his hardworking, self-sufficient wife would take care of her land with or without him.
Silas wasn’t going to make that mistake again. He’d almost lost his precious wife last night through his own prideful behavior. From now on he’d talk everything over with Belle. But he wasn’t going to start apologizing quite yet.
She let her head drop back as he nuzzled his way down her neck. Breathlessly she murmured, “Anything, if you’ll just forgive me for mistrusting you ….”
Silas didn’t know if she noticed or not, but he was acting real forgiving right now.
“And if you’ll let me live with you in the beautiful house you worked so hard on.”
“Where are the girls?”
“And let me love you again, Silas. Please, will you believe I love you? Please say you’ll love me like you did before I was so bad.”
Now Belle was begging, and as much as Silas loved it, he couldn’t stand that he’d reduced his proud, strong wife to that. But he decided to listen for just a second longer because he wasn’t likely ever to hear it again.
“I’ll do whatever you want, including starting on those five boys. I do believe I’ve got a start on the first one already.”
He paused in his kisses and looked into her eyes. “Really? I wondered. But you cried when you talked about having my baby.”
Belle couldn’t seem to pay attention. “When was that?”
“Last night in the woods. After the wolves almost got you.” Silas shivered as deeply as if he was freezing to death when he thought about it. “You cried. Cried hard and said you didn’t want another baby.”
“I don’t remember saying that, but I know I’ve been a bad mother to the girls. I’ve done wrong by ’em, every one. And I regret that more than anything in my life. I don’t want to hurt another baby by not having time to love her and hug her and care for her the way she deserves.”
The last fear eased itself from Silas’s heart when he heard Belle’s regret over a baby wasn’t because of him. “I’ll make sure you have time to do things the way you want with him, Belle. I know the girls have been raised different from most little girls, but I think they’re perfect. I think they’re the kind of women the West needs to tame it. I’m so proud of them, I’d like to bust every time I hear them call me Pa. And that makes you a wonderful mother.”
“They are good girls, aren’t they?”
“The very best. And remember I’ll be here to make sure they don’t get mixed up with any no-account husbands, so we won’t have to worry about that.” He kissed her again. “Speaking of the girls…where are they?”
“The girls promised to stay busy until I called them.”
“Oh, yes. They are very good girls.”
And that was the last word spoken in the Harden Ranch house for a long time.
EPILOGUE
Belle saw she’d had a boy seconds after his birth and looked at Silas with equal parts pride—at finally producing a son—and fear—at figuring out how to raise one.
“We’ll just do exactly what you did with the girls, honey,” Silas said.
She’d learned that the man could, on occasion, read her mind. “They’re all as tough and brave as we could ever hope our boy would be.”
Tanner would need to be tough indeed to out-tough Betsy, Sarah, Emma, and Lindsay, but from the way he came into the world kicking and screaming, Belle suspected he was up to it.
One warm summer day Belle strapped her son on her back and took a ride to her old cabin. She guided her mount up that steep hill to the Husband Tree and sat to rest and have a little talk with her boy about what she expected in a man.
Tanner slept through it, but Belle had her talk with him anyway, just to get in practice raising a son. She wanted the boy to grow up remembering where his ma had come from and how little she’d had to start and how far a person could go with hard work.
Belle looked down on the pathetic cabin that she’d built with her skinned knuckles and insufficient strength so long ago.
“I can’t bring myself to miss a single one of the no-account bums, including William, who I am most likely sitting on right now.”
Tanner squirmed a bit in her arms but didn’t wake up. “But I’m glad for what I went through, because surely only the steps I took led to the exact place I’m in right now with you and my daughters and your pa. And—sitting on William notwithstanding—it’s a very good place.”
Rocking Tanner gently, she marveled at the chance she now had to fuss with a baby and sing lullabies.
She saw Silas and watched as he spotted her and rode up to dismount.
“Missing your old husbands and that cabin, Belle honey?” Silas settled with his back against the Husband Tree and smiled right into Belle’s light brown eyes.
“Not even one little bit.” Belle leaned her shoulder against Silas’s. “I’m thinking that I needed these husbands to get my girls. And if I hadn’t had all girls and needed to hire cowhands, I’d have never gotten you. It worked out in the end, but could marrying these no-accounts have been part of God’s plan?”
“I don’t know if either of us took the direct route God had in mind, but in the end it led us both to a good place.” Silas reached a work-calloused hand to cradle Tanner’s head. It was covered with dark hair, and the boy had brown eyes.
Belle supposed she’d given birth to yet another child who looked just like his pa, but Belle could pretend the tyke looked like her if she wanted to.
“It’s possible I needed to go through those early years to understand—or at least accept—the ways of God.” Belle’s words drew Silas’s attention away from Tanner, and their matching brown eyes met and held.
Silas leaned forward until their lips met. “Well, however we got here, I like where we ended up real well.”
They sat together talking…and not talking…for a long while.
Then Tanner woke up and kicked up a fuss.
They got up to head home.
Before she left, Belle patted the Husband Tree good-bye and good riddance.
Discussion Questions
Belle has a really bad attitude about men, and she’s passed that on to her children. Talk about how our words, sometimes spoken thoughtlessly, affect how our children see the world.
Silas runs out on a trumped-up shotgun wedding. He knows if he does this, he has to abandon his ranch and his money, leaving the area of his home. Talk about how women used to be “protected” by society’s rules and how the death of those rules has helped and hurt both women and men.
Belle Tanner isn’t very old, but she considers herself ancient in life experiences. Were you able to picture her as young when she had such a tough demeanor and such grown up children?
Silas considers helping on this cattle drive, with a baby in tow and an all-woman crew, completely humiliating. And yet he feels honor bound to help because he gave his word, even more because he knows they need him. Was it realistic that a man as burned by women as Silas had been would stay and help?
Belle and Silas shared their first kiss very early in the book in a completely spontaneous, highly emotional moment. Discuss if that was believable. In your own relationships are you (or have you been) powerfully drawn to the “right man”? Or is a powerful moment like that to be trusted?
If you’ve read Montana Rose, discuss Wade’s transformation.
Many readers of Montana Rose despised Wade. Did you? Can you now accept him as a changed man, or do you still despise him? Has God ever changed a person you know this dramatically?
There is a lot a documentation of white children raised by Indian tribes as Glowing Sun has been. Very often those children had a terrible time readjusting to the white world. Why do you think that is?
Discuss how Lindsay, after a lifetime hearing her mother warn her about men, could so
completely fall for a man. Didn’t she listen to her mother? Or did Belle’s actions, remarrying repeatedly, speak louder than her words? Or is love just that powerful?
Discuss Silas and how he handled his “surprise” for Belle. Was he wise to want to surprise her? Was he right that a poor man had a hard time marrying a rich woman?
Did you dislike Silas for being so mad at Belle when he should have just told her about his surprise?
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to my husband, Ivan. He worked so hard for so many years while I was raising our four daughters: Josie, Wendy, Shelly, and Katy. The long hours, early mornings, hard labor, relentless work outside with the cattle in bitter cold and blazing heat—all to support us while I stayed home with the girls. We both really believed it was the right thing to do. Or as Ivan is fond of saying, “I don’t suppose it hurt them any to have you around.”
So now the girls are grown, and I can help a little more with the money. He still works in the bitter cold and blazing heat. But maybe now he only works as hard as one and a half men instead of two.
Ivan, you are my hero.
“The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?”
PSALM 27:1
CHAPTER 1
Montana Territory, 1877
Gunfire jerked Wade Sawyer awake.
His feet hit the floor before he made a conscious decision to move. Grabbing his rifle mounted over the door, he rammed his back to the wall, jacked a shell into the chamber, and listened.
Another shot fired, then another. The volley went on and on. Many guns blazing.
Mary Connealy Page 57