“There are different kinds of safe, Ab. You’re right—so right—about my family being an unhappy one. I don’t think you can blame Gertie any more than she blames herself, but in the end, yes, I grew up in a sad place.”
Abby walked deeper into the woods. The ground was rocky, but that was so everywhere in this part of Montana. She needed to find shelter but didn’t worry about it. The mountains and forest would always shelter her.
She found a shattered pine tree, its stump nearly four feet across. It had snapped about ten feet up, and the massive top of the tree had fallen and was long dead and bare. The ground, piled high with the fallen needles, was soft as a feather bed. Sinking to the ground, Abby leaned back against the tree. She could sleep here as well as anywhere.
But Wade needed to go away first. Instead he slid down the trunk next to her. The tree was big enough that there was plenty of room for both of them, especially with Wade sitting so close their arms touched. “You know I care about you, Abby, don’t you? I want you to stay here.”
“And if I can’t?” The needles gently scented with pine seemed to ease into Abby’s bones. There was peace for her in the wild places.
“Then I’ll leave with you. That home holds nothing for me but responsibility, Christian duty. I needed to come home and see to my father, but I’ve done that now. I thought for a time we could stay and be happy here, but now I doubt that. We’ll go somewhere else. We can leave now, tonight if you want. Go into Divide and have a marriage blessed then head for the mountains, in the direction of your high valley. Build a small cabin, raise a garden, and hunt for food. We don’t need the ranch to survive. We’ve both proved that.”
He just would not stop jabbering about marrying her. She couldn’t say yes, yet she found herself unable to say no. So she changed the subject. “You really lived in the mountains last winter?”
Wade nodded, and Abby had to look close in the dark night. With the trees overhead, even the bright moonlight and blazing stars struggled to penetrate the darkness, but Abby’s eyes adjusted quickly and his sincerity was unmistakable. “I found an old miner’s shack, or maybe a trapper lived there. It was probably smaller than your tepee.”
“And you liked it there?”
“I—I was contented there. I needed some quiet to get over—” It took a moment for Abby to realize he wasn’t going to continue.
“To get over what?”
The sound of Wade slowly inhaling melted into the soft rustle of the wind and the cry of a hunting owl. Insects chirped in the night, and the leaves overhead sang their own quiet song.
Long after she decided he wasn’t going to answer her, Wade finally spoke. “To get over—the—the sight of you—riding away from me with Wild Eagle. It broke my heart.”
Now it was Abby’s turn not to speak. Abby thought of how Wade had saved her from those men last fall when he was headed for work on a cattle drive for Silas Harden’s family. He’d abandoned that job and stayed with her, tried to persuade her to come back with him to his white world. When she’d refused, he’d taken her to her home. And on the way, they’d come to care for each other. Abby thought of these things in the silence.
Wade reached down and took her hand, fumbling for it a bit in the dark. He pressed her knuckles against his lips.
She liked it so much it terrified her, so she wrenched away. “I can’t do it, Wade. I can’t bind myself to you. I’ve seen too much of the white men, all bad.”
“No, not all bad. Not me.” He moved suddenly, rising onto his knees. He caught her shoulders and turned her, pulling until she knelt to face him. “You trust me, Abby. I know you do. And my father and the trouble that goes with him doesn’t have to be part of choosing me. I will go with you wherever we have to go to find a peaceful home, full of happiness. Say you want that. Please, at least tell me there’s a chance. I need to hear that.”
She hesitated to speak the words that he seemed to believe would bring him happiness. But there was no way for them to be happy with her dislike of all his people.
His lips settled onto hers. In the darkness, she hadn’t seen him lowering his head. For this reason only, she didn’t duck away. And then she couldn’t. She couldn’t end the kiss that she knew was all wrong for both of them.
He drew her closer, all his loneliness pulling at her own.
At last he raised his head. “You know we could find a way to be happy together, Abby. Your kiss tells me the truth even if your words deny it.”
“Oh, Wade …” Abby rested one palm on his face. He had whiskers, bristly from neglect. She remembered her father would come in cold from checking cattle and scratch her cheek with them and she’d giggle. She’d loved her father, a white man.
“Just a chance, Ab. I’ll give you all the time you need to decide if you can live here with me, or we can leave here right now if you can’t bear life in this house. I’ll walk away with you, not even go inside to say good-bye. We’ll find a preacher and say our vows to God. I’d pledge myself to you forever.”
“You offer to give up your family for me?”
“You’d be my family. We’d begin our own.” Wade kissed her deeply. “Have children.” The kiss came again, longer this time.
He turned then and sank back down to lean against the tree. He pulled her down, tucking her to his side. “You don’t have to answer me now. I know you’re still confused and grieving and angry. But say you’ll give me a chance, please. Here or in the mountains or anywhere else you’d like to go.”
Knowing it was a mistake, Abby rested her head against Wade’s broad shoulder. Through the trees, she could see the lights in the big house. She hated that house. It represented all that was wrong with the whites. Its foolish size and the unhappy people who inhabited it. Now she was forcing Wade to do something he might regret all his life. It wasn’t yet time to leave. “I will give you this time you want so badly, Wade.”
His arm tightened around her, and his sigh ruffled her awful yellow hair. The light in Mort’s room extinguished. Moments later, a light farther to the back of the house came on, in the room where Gertie slept. There was still a lantern burning in the kitchen; the light spilled out and illuminated the bit of backyard that Abby could see. Gertie had left the light on to guide Wade home.
“I will stay here and try to adjust to this world while I decide if I can risk a life with you.”
A soft kiss on the top of her head made her smile and admit the truth. “I, too, felt my heart break when I rode off with Wild Eagle. I did not want to leave you.”
His other arm came around her, and he hugged her until she thought she might have to pinch him so she could breathe. Then he laughed and pulled back enough that they could see each other. “Do you really want to sleep out here tonight? I could go in and get you a blanket.”
“No, I’ll come back in. But there may be times when I need to get outside, to clear my head and breathe clean air and think without the noise of your father ringing in my ears.”
“I was dead serious about leaving if he speaks rudely to you again. If he is unkind, just tell me and we’ll go. I give you my word.”
Abby nodded, thinking he’d just put yet another burden on her. Now if his father was cruel, which he was bound to be, she would have to keep it secret unless she wanted to send Wade from the house.
They stood and Wade took her hand, his fingers sliding between hers. “Are you ready to go back in?”
She would never be ready, so why wait? “Yes.”
“Do you mind if we pray before we go? I need to ask God to be with both of us.”
“I need that, too.” Abby took Wade’s other hand, and he quietly said many things that were in her heart, but not all.
He couldn’t begin to imagine all. And she couldn’t begin to tell him.
CHAPTER 28
I’d like to go see Belle, Red.” Cassie had Michael on one hip, and Susannah was clinging to Red’s right leg singing as the two adults washed the supper dishes side by side in their ne
w, bigger kitchen.
Cassie had tried to stop him from making it too big. Heating a large house was too much work. But Red had a stubborn streak and a bit of a temper to match his red hair. He’d pushed for more space when he’d found out Michael was on the way, and Cassie admitted she liked the children having their own room.
“Now, Cass, honey, we’ve been doing so much running lately I’m not seeing to the cattle like I oughta.”
Cassie grinned at him. She could get the man to do anything and that was a fact. It was a power she tried not to abuse. Michael slapped her on the face and she probably deserved it. But she was determined to get her way. “We’ve only been to Belle’s once.”
“Yes, but she came here once, too.”
“Not really. She and Emma went off with you. I want to talk with her about why I can’t get the hang of knife throwing.” It was a plain fact that no amount of practice seemed to improve her skill.
“It sticks in the wood almost every time now. You’re doing great.”
“But it’s always too low.”
Red opened his mouth.
“And no”—she wasn’t listening to any more of his nonsense—“I’m not going to just aim higher.”
“Why not?”
She could be stubborn, too. “Because—” It pinched to admit the truth. “Because—” So she rushed it out in one long, frustrated shout. “Because I’ve already tried!” She slammed a metal pot onto the counter with a loud bang. “I still can’t hit what I aim at.”
“Oh.” Red subdued himself after that and picked up the pot to dry it.
“It doesn’t work.” She pouted. Pouting was one of the best things she’d learned since she’d gotten married. She loved the way Red teased her out of her bad mood. She could hardly sustain the down-turned lips when she thought of how sweet he was while he cheered her up. But that really wasn’t why she’d started this. “Please, Red.”
Susannah hollered, “Pick me up, Papa!”
“We’ve been to the Tanner Ranch.”
“Harden, Red.”
“Right, right. Sorry.” Red nodded. “The Hardens have visited us here. I went hunting for Wade. Then later I had to track down the rustlers. I took the herd to Divide. We went in for church. Why, we’ve been gone more than we’ve been home. Good thing we got the roundup done early. I can’t believe the Sawyers are just now finished.” Red shook his head as if it was incomprehensible.
Cassie had felt sorry for Wade with the roundup still ahead of him. He hadn’t been home, so it wasn’t his fault, but none of the other ranchers would see it that way. “I didn’t get to go with you to hunt for Wade.”
“You were with Belle. I thought you liked Belle.” Red swiped a bit of drool off Michael’s chin with his shirtsleeve. Michael, content on Cassie’s hip, swatted at his papa and giggled.
“I didn’t get to go hunt the rustlers with you.”
Red gave her a very dry look. “You’re saying you wanted to be part of the posse?”
It was all Cassie could do to maintain her pout. She was really crazy in love with her husband. “I’m just saying you feel like you’ve been out and about a lot, but I haven’t been. I want to go see Belle. A woman with a baby on the way needs the company of other women from time to time.”
She stamped her foot and almost felt ashamed of herself. Reminding Red of the coming baby was very dastardly of her. He was so excited about it and so kind to her. She could barely lift a finger around the barnyard these days.
Susannah stamped her little foot and giggled.
The reminder about the baby he’d had to tell Cassie about earned her a very long, sweet kiss. The man was a marvel the way he figured out a baby was coming.
“I’m wondering which of us this’n’ll look like. We’ve got a matched set now. Maybe we’ll have a redheaded little girl or a dark-haired boy. I can’t wait, no matter which it is.” He kissed her again until Michael started trying to poke his little fingers between their lips.
“I can’t wait either, Red. And I want to tell Belle about it.”
“She probably knows.”
Jerking back from him, Cassie narrowed her eyes. “How would she know?”
“I told Silas.”
“Before you told me?” Cassie felt herself blush. How had Red figured it out?
Red just laughed in her face. “Yep, and he probably mentioned it to Belle.”
She really did need to wheedle his secret out of him. The symptoms she knew of—a round belly and lots of kicking—came quite late.
“Red, I insist we go see Belle. I want to visit with her, and I’m not letting up until we do things my way. Especially now that I’m carrying your child.” Cassie fluttered her eyelids a bit and rested one hand on her flat stomach. She’d win now. Red was just too sweet; he wouldn’t be able to resist giving in.
“Nope. We can’t. I’ve got too many chores.”
Cassie’s mouth fell open.
Red hung the last pot on the hook beside the kitchen sink then set his dish towel aside and used one finger to push up on her chin to close her mouth. “And that’s final.”
Michael grabbed at his finger.
“Pick me up, Papa!” Susannah put both her tiny feet on his big boot and started bouncing up and down.
Red swooped Susannah into his arms and lifted her to the ceiling.
We’ll see about final. Cassie narrowed her eyes and considered which of her womanly wiles to use on her husband to get her way.
Before she could bring out her arsenal, Red tucked Susannah onto his hip. Then he plucked Michael out of her arms, bent over, and kissed her with a low smack on the lips. “How about next week? Give me that long to catch up on a few things, move the herd to better pastures, and clear the deadfalls out of the spreader dam. I’ll get the Jessups to ride herd and we’ll go and stay awhile so you can work with Belle and get all your female talkin’ out.”
Cassie grinned until she thought she might laugh out loud. “Next week would be fine, Red.” She said it in her best submissive wife voice. The one Red loved.
“You’re such a good, obedient little wife.” He kissed her again as a reward. As if he didn’t realize she’d gotten her way, as usual. “I love it when you pout, honey,” Red whispered.
Startled, Cassie pulled back and glared at him.
He laughed and turned away, bouncing the children around the room, singing a silly, lilting Irish song about wearing green, while Cassie contemplated whether she was controlling her husband or he was controlling her.
Since it didn’t matter, and she was going to see Belle regardless, she didn’t contemplate it too long before she snatched Susannah away from him and joined in their play.
Sid pushed the men hard to get back.
Boog had seemed to be completely well, but he was pale and tight-lipped by the time they got back to the derelict Griffin house. Harv was practically asleep in his saddle.
Sid and Paddy decided to split up so no one would connect them. Paddy would ride in first, then Sid. Boog and Harv would stay away for one more week.
As long as that girl was alive, she could recognize Harv. Maybe without the beard he could get by, but Sid wasn’t going to risk it. And if Red Dawson had a reason to come to the ranch, it would all be over.
The trail from the Flathead valley back to the M Bar S was brutal. It should have taken two days to cover, but Sid didn’t want the men to make note of his absence. Lots of the hands had taken off for the day, with Wade announcing Sundays would be for rest from now on.
As Sid hitched his horse at the old Griffin place in the early hours of Monday morning, he felt the whole weight of the long weekend. First pulling Harv out of jail, then riding for the high valley, and now coming home. And all for nothing. They had to leave the gold behind. He ached until it felt like someone had taken a club to him.
He gave Paddy fifteen minutes to get to the ranch well ahead of him. Sid would barely beat the sunrise home. He stood watching Boog and Harv unsaddle their hors
es as Paddy rode off toward his bunk.
“We’ve got to finish this.” Sid got out the makings for a cigarette.
Boog lifted his saddle off his gelding’s back. “Yep. Someone’s gonna identify Harv sooner or later.”
“We’ll do it this week,” Sid said as he dumped the tobacco and rolled the fine paper, counting down the time until he could head back.
“Let’s hit ’em all at once.” Harv rubbed his chin. Sid could see his hunger for revenge against the wild woman. “We tried to make it look like an accident before, but why bother trying that again? With that woman dead—the only one who saw me—no one will be able to prove we had a hand in the killing.”
“A lot of the hands rode off to town yesterday morning.” Sid remembered the exodus when he’d gone in to get Paddy. “They went to church with Wade. That leaves Mort home alone with only his housekeeper. He’s vulnerable then. We can do it next Sunday.”
“Then we’ll waylay Wade and the woman on the trail. Finish it in one stroke.” Harv pulled the bridle off his horse and swatted his rump. The horse trotted away with a thud of hooves on grass in the small corral Mort kept up at the Griffin place.
“But let’s keep our eyes open this week,” Boog said as he rubbed hands full of grass on his gelding’s sweat-soaked side. “If we have a chance, catch one of them out alone, we’ll take it, thin the herd a little.”
Harv snorted. “Herd? A cripple, a woman, and a coward. No herd to thin there. I’d like to keep that woman alive for a while, though. If I caught her out alone—” A chuckle broke up his big talk.
Sid drew on his cigarette. Harv always talked big, when he wasn’t whining. He was a weak link in every job they pulled. If he hadn’t grabbed that girl to begin with, no one would be able to identify him now. Harv wouldn’t have cuts as good as shouting his identity. Sid did his best not to glare at the fool. He mentally repeated that Harv held the secret to a hidden shipment of gold that had been lost in that valley.
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