“The truth? That’s rich,” he laughed darkly. “Do tell me. Please. Spin another web, tell another lie. Paint a picture of things in a poetic way that, under each masterful brushstroke and stirring apologue, you vanish away the cold, hard fact that good people died. Innocent people died! And they died because of you. And the whole time they believed they were fighting for someone else. An ideal! A different you. A good you. Someone who could really put things back on course. Someone who could lead our Empire, justly and determinedly, someone who could save humanity and everything we’ve built.”
“I see,” said Kalila. “And you, you believe that I am not capable of doing those things? Of being that ideal?”
“Can a shadow cast a light?” asked Calvin rhetorically. “If you speak to me now, as though this is some kind of repenting appeal that in the future you’ll be better, I’m not buying it. I find the best predictor of someone’s future decisions is the ones they made in the past.”
“I don’t mean that. I’m the same person I always was, the person I always will be.”
“Exactly, which is why it’s time to give you what you deserve,” said Calvin, drawing his firearm at last. He slid back the slide, priming the weapon to fire, half determined to exact revenge for Miles and everyone else, and half in disbelief that he was even considering it. “I’m not going to work for the bad guys any longer,” said Calvin. “No matter how beautiful and beguiling they are.”
Strangely, Kalila did not so much as shift in her chair in response to this. Nor did she call for any guards, or attempt to shield herself, as Calvin raised his handgun and pointed it at her. It was as though she accepted her fate, that she deserved what was coming, or else she believed him incapable of performing the deed. Well, so had her henchman Nikolai…
“And just who, exactly, may I ask, are the good guys?” asked the queen, momentarily catching Calvin off-guard. He didn’t reply immediately, and so Kalila continued.
“Caerwyn Martel? Zane?” She looked at him candidly.
“I—” said Calvin, feeling momentarily trapped.
“The former sacrificed his own father,” said Kalila, “Along with billions of souls, refusing to defend them against a Rotham fleet, in order to better his chances at obtaining the throne. A fleet that I, against all my best interest, chose to stand against, if you recall correctly. As for the latter, Zane Martel, he created a violent cult that meant to take subtle, yet violent control of the Assembly and seize all powers like a despot.”
“And you, your plan was much different?” asked Calvin. “It seemed plenty bloody to me.”
Kalila’s eyes narrowed. “I didn’t order others to their deaths for my own personal glory or hope to gain. I led from the front, always putting my life on the line, and always doing everything in my power to save Imperial lives. I chose to stand against the Rotham at Thetican System, to defend the billions of lives there, even though it meant—to anyone thinking at the time—that I would very probably die there. And if I survived, my forces would be greatly reduced, leaving me vulnerable to any future engagements with Caerwyn’s fleets. I was risking the throne I so wanted in order to protect the very lives Caerwyn refused to defend.”
“Yet, your so-called self-sacrificing decision made you a national hero, and made Caerwyn appear a coward; you won the love of the Empire that day. And at smaller risk, I might add, than you’re claiming.”
“True, I won some support and he lost some, and the Black Swan was a difficult ship for the enemy to attack, but my life was on the line there, notwithstanding. A choice I made, because it was the right thing for the Empire, for my people, and I was willing to sacrifice everything—my own life, the throne, whatever it cost—to save those lives and repel the invasion. And it left me outnumbered by Caerwyn’s forces two to one.”
“Yet the system was lost anyway…”
“Call me what you will, Calvin Cross; call me a pretender, a fraud, a puppet-master, whatever words may come to you, but never say, nor even think, not for an instant, that I was behind the terrible tragedy that happened at Thetican System! That was the design of ENIGMA and you know it! They played me! They played us all! And when that weapon deployed, nobody saw it coming. Every day since I have wished desperately that I had known, and that I could have stopped it—or, at least, tried everything possible to do so!”
She seemed almost sincere as she spoke. So much so that Calvin was unsure whether to believe her or not, finding himself nearly persuaded. But then he reminded himself that this was her gift, to fool, to use charisma as a tool, a weapon, an instrument of control. He must not allow himself to be taken in so easily!
“I believe you never meant for the system to be lost as it was,” admitted Calvin. “But you still got in bed with the very worst, darkest elements in the galaxy, and activated a plan, which led eventually, ultimately, to that catastrophe and many others. Including the deaths of the king and your siblings. Do you not see the crime in that?”
Tears formed in her outraged eyes. “I never intended for them to die. I never wanted it. I even did everything I knew to ensure their safe protection and relocation. Yes, I meant for them to disappear for a time, so that I could lead the Empire in the way it needed to go—show the courage and make the decisions that needed making—the ones my dear family proved incapable of. But I was duped! Instead of whisking them off to luxurious, temporary confinement, meant to cater to their every lavish whim, no, instead my so-called allies betrayed me, and slaughtered them!” Her face was beet red as she spoke, and her eyes showed intensity like he had never before seen.
“Why should I believe you?” asked Calvin. “It did prove convenient, did it not?”
“I never wanted that to happen. Never. Not for an instant! And when I learned about their fates, I was as shocked as anyone, and far more saddened than anyone else could have been.” Tears shown in her eyes then, yet her voice did not crack nor waver. “So terrible was my pain—a pain I live with every day!—that I nearly chose to take my own life in shame rather than continue the efforts I had put into motion.”
“Yet, you didn’t,” Calvin challenged her, waving his handgun. “You didn’t accept any blame, or show any of that remorse; instead, you acted the opportunist that you are, and chose to seek power—just as you’d planned all along. And to let others die helping you take it. Even though you knew you didn’t deserve it. Am I wrong?”
This gave the queen a moment’s pause before she responded. “I did choose to continue the plan, as best as I could salvage it. At that time, I still had the most information and greatest amount of influence; no one else could have risen to the challenge and given hope to our crumbling, betrayed Empire. My suicide would have been selfish and ultimately have meant that I’d given up on humanity, that I no longer had any sympathy for our future plight. No, instead I picked up the now-unwanted burden of command and made every decision, twisted every arm, played every card, leveraged every ally at my disposal, and did everything else a monarch would do—nay, must do—to defend her Empire.”
“Yet, you knew you didn’t deserve command. You don’t even deny your unworthiness now.”
“I love your mind, Calvin, for it is as innocent and naïve as it is cunning and deductive. Almost a contradiction. And yet it defines you as the wonderfully dependent person you are.”
Calvin was unsure what she meant by that. “If you think flattery will save you, you’re wrong.”
“I don’t intend any flattery. Rather I mean to inform you. You see, the truth is: no king nor queen, nor High Prelain, nor governor, nor knight, nor any person of any significant power deserves that power. Those with the charity, honesty, and idealism to actually deserve their thrones, they never get them. And those who are born to them, yet possess all these great traits that should make a good ruler, they cannot hold onto their thrones for long.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” asked Calvin, wondering if now she meant to confuse him long enough for her guards to come check on her
.
“I’m telling you the truth of command,” said Kalila. “The truth of government! The higher you rise, the more of your integrity—your innocence, or idealism—you must have sacrificed away. You have to look for enemies in every shadow, for plots and conspiracies, you have to take prophylactic action to eliminate competition before it can become a threat.”
“You’re saying all leaders kill their opposition? I find that hard to believe.”
“Not at all. In fact, killing your opposition is usually a messy and risky affair. But you leverage them, you pressure your supporters to withdraw business from them, or to smear them, you discredit them. You may kill them literally, but I find it far more effective to kill their viability, or their credibility, neuter them as a threat. Sometimes they will even offer you support and switch their loyalty if it means relief from the pressures you’ve put them under. Leaders who keep their crowns must be aware of the enemies conspiring in the shadows; they must be looking all around them, even within their own circles—especially within their own circles—for the overly ambitious, or the suspiciously loyal, or to anyone else who may, through clever maneuvering or subtle manipulation, present a credible future threat.”
“So, you’re saying…there are no truly good leaders?”
“There are, now and again,” said Kalila, “But such leaders, who cling to ideals and hold unshakable faith in their friends, and spend all their attention looking forward, at the needs of their people, and never behind them. Well, they just don’t last. It’s a fact of politics. If you don’t look behind you, you’re certain to be stabbed in the back. By an enemy, by a false friend, by a true friend who simply finds the opportunity too rewarding and tempting to resist; it does not matter by whom. It will always happen, because whenever you have something that people want—especially positions of prestige and power—there are always, always, always, those out there who want whatever you have, and want it more. And they will take it, all of it, by any means, if you do not guard yourself. And sometimes that protection—indeed usually—comes at a price of some idealism, innocence, or even integrity.”
“You mean what you’re saying, don’t you?” asked Calvin; her words seemed as much a confession as anything he had ever heard.
“Every word of it. You see, from the bottom gazing up, it is easy to see a universe of blacks and whites and good and evil. But from the top looking down, things become very grey indeed.”
“You have a very grim view,” replied Calvin.
“Call it grim, call it cynical, you may call it whatever you wish, but no name nor classification can ever change the fact that it’s true. No one’s hands are truly clean. Leaders most of all.”
“I sure hope you’re wrong about that,” said Calvin, considering such an idea to be either false or a chilling revelation about reality that he would prefer not to believe. Although it did strike a chord with him, as if resonating with other truths he already had known and accepted. “But let’s say you’re right. How in the hell does that begin to justify all you’ve done?” he asked. “Making secret pacts with the deadliest and darkest forces in the universe? To incepting—then losing control—over the Phoenix Ring, which aimed to destroy the government? To creating and secretly manipulating The Organization? Even commanding Raidan to his death?”
“You give me far too much credit; never did I issue any such order,” said Kalila.
“Spare me,” said Calvin. “We both know that what he did was exactly as you intended.” Although he admitted inwardly that he could not be certain of his every accusation, he hoped they would prove themselves, by how she reacted to them. “Not to mention,” Calvin continued, “To giving our alien enemies access to schematics of some of our most dangerous warships, including yours, years ago, so that they could make a replica and use it to attack a human world and lay waste to it? To arranging for the abduction—or murder—of the rest of the Royal Family, including the king himself. How do you justify such things?”
“If you must know, I will tell you. It would be a relief for someone else to know the truth before I meet my end,” she glanced at the gun in Calvin’s hands.
“Oh, this should be good,” said Calvin. “Let’s see if the spider can spin one final web. Something that weaves it all together.”
“I swear to you; this is the truth.”
“Your word means very little to me. But I will allow you your deathbed confession.”
“So be it. Whether I am believed or not, this is how it all happened. After the Great War, the Rotham showed us their true colors by invading Imperial space and betraying many of our squadrons in their effort to claim the border worlds inside Polarian space and Imperial space.”
“Yes, I’m familiar with history. The Polarians started the war—as far as we could tell—then we agreed to help the Republic resist Polarian invasion and then it transformed into this quagmire where all sides were at war with all sides, but the Rotham’s betrayal hit us much harder than anything the Polarians ever did to us. So when the war ended, the Republic desperately wanted to have peace, and gave us gifts as compensation, agreed to the creation of the DMZ, and so on. To try and prevent Imperial retribution. This worked.”
“It did work,” said Kalila. “If you understand that the Rotham did it all to buy more time to start a new war, one against us, for our border systems in The Corridor, which they have always coveted—and still covet even now. This time they would be better prepared, take us unaware, and arrange for the Polarians to remain neutral. It would be Republic against Empire, but the Republic would strike the first blow, possibly capture the Apollo Yards in their initial blitz, and from there enjoy a commanding foothold inside Imperial space. One that we would be unlikely to retake, and then we’d negotiate a peace, but what would follow would be a series of wars, some give and some take, but a long, slow cycle of death as human worlds fell, one by one.”
“Bold accusations. Very bold,” said Calvin. “Do you claim to be some kind of seer? Some kind of revelator? Your hunch sounds more like a prophecy to me.”
“Calvin, it was no hunch. I have always made certain to have any…friends I could have, as dispersed as possible. It is difficult to acquire Rotham intelligence, harder still to acquire Rotham informants. Polarians, ironically, are much easier. So long as they aren’t too lost in their own delusional practices.”
“Their religion.”
“Yes. Well, through these deals you so quickly condemn, along with great expense, I was able to obtain copies of plans, snippets of recordings, and all kinds of evidence to corroborate that the Rotham had such a plan. Except it was even worse than we’d thought. Rather than keeping the Polarians neutral, they were developing protocols to bribe, trick, or otherwise convince the Polarians to go to war against the Empire also. The Rotham greatly resented the terms of the treaty that ended the Great War, and they became a machine of subterfuge and preparation for war. We had some time to act, but otherwise things looked grim.”
“Even accepting all of that as true,” said Calvin, “None of it justifies what you did nor any of the deals you made. Especially the blood you allowed—even encouraged—to be spilled, simply taking it on faith that ENIGMA’s information was true; all so that, ultimately, the throne would be yours. Is that not so?”
“I have many regrets, Calvin. Even more than you know, and they weigh upon me heavily each day and night,” said Kalila. “But trying to save the Empire will never be one of them. After I understood the Rotham threat, I brought it to my father and family. They were more cautious, and more blind, and were happier with the peace and trade that had been arranged between the Empire and the Rotham; they could not fathom another war with them, so soon, on the horizon. I pointed out repeatedly the consequences should they be wrong, but, in my family, I was always the gifted one. The others…they were noble and lovely and, indeed, the very best family one could hope for; however, if great-great grandfather’s blood ran through anyone’s veins, it was mine and mine alone. So I knew I h
ad to act unilaterally, since they could not be made to cooperate.”
“And somehow, this led you to creating dissident, seditious, rogue elements inside the Empire and having them fight one another?”
“No. This led me to seek out a greater diplomatic and clandestine influence within the Polarian states. If there would be war with the Republic, as seemed a foregone conclusion, I would not have the Polarians join their side. And perhaps I could convince the Polarians to remember the terrible destruction the Rotham unleashed upon them, possibly convincing them to join our side instead. Well, as I asked my questions and sent my operatives, and recruited more, I was conveniently—a little too conveniently, in hindsight—contacted by a powerful element inside Polarian Space. Hailing from the uncharted Nether Space itself.
“This was ENIGMA, who claimed to want to strike a bargain of mutual benefit and, without any other practical option, and convinced by the impressive intelligence they had, I could not pass it up. Especially as my operatives were disappearing, dying, and no other opportunities seemed likely to materialize. I did not know then that my new Polarian contacts, ENIGMA, were as evil as they turned out to be—nor did I know that it was they who were eliminating my operatives inside Polarian space, effectively forcing me to deal with them exclusively.”
“I see,” said Calvin. “But I still don’t understand how all of this leads to the outcome we all saw and suffered through.”
“Indeed. Well, ENIGMA wanted to discuss terms as soon as possible, to which I agreed. We never spoke directly; they rarely sent anyone here and I never went there, and most of our communication could not be trusted to kataspace. So I sent ambassadors, firmly under my control, to meet with them, as did they. We exchanged sealed terms and instructions which were for my eyes only, and the leaders of ENIGMA. I explained the threat and they promised to assist in procuring a permanent alliance with the Polarian Confederated States and also to wage war with the Republic at its first sign of aggression. And, like I’d hoped, they delivered copious amounts of intelligence regarding the Rotham Republic—only later was it discovered that much of it was fraud.”
The Phoenix Requiem (The Phoenix Conspiracy Series Book 7) Page 49