by Nancy Mehl
She grunted, picked up her tea, and took a long drink. Then she set it down with a thump. “Oh yes, I’ve met Christians before.” She said the word in the same way someone might say cockroaches or poisonous snakes.
“I take it you weren’t impressed.”
She unfolded the napkin wrapped around her silverware and put it neatly on her lap. “Look, let’s not get into some kind of religious debate. I didn’t ask you here for that.”
“Fine. You said you wanted to talk about the Muellers. Just what do you want to know, Mrs. Murphy?”
“First of all, you can call me Susan if you wish.”
There was a little voice inside me that wanted to tell her she could continue to call me Miss Temple, but I quashed it. “I’m Gracie. So what is it you want to know … Susan?”
She took another sip of her iced tea, and I noticed her hand trembled slightly. What was that about? I spotted Leah watching us from across the room. “Why don’t we decide what we want to eat before we talk? That way Leah won’t have to wait for us.”
Susan reached up to pat her hair. As if a stray hair had a chance of escaping that tight bun. Her hair almost looked sprayed on. “It’s hardly our job to make our waitress comfortable. She can wait until we’re ready to order.”
I could almost feel my blood start to boil. Her earlier show of humility hadn’t lasted long. “Look here, Susan …” I drew out her name with emphasis. “Maybe you treat people that way in Topeka … or wherever you’re from. But we don’t do that in Harmony. Either you decide right now what you want for supper, or I’m out of here.”
She actually bit her lip to keep from saying whatever was on her mind. Then she flung open her menu and perused it quickly. I waited a few moments then waved at Leah to come over. She walked up, flipped open her notepad, and waited.
“I’d like a fruit salad and a slice of banana bread,” I said with a smile.
Leah wrote down my order. “And for you, ma’am?” she asked Susan.
Susan’s look of disgust as she stared at the menu couldn’t have been any more obvious. “I don’t know. I suppose I’ll try the fried chicken dinner.”
Leah explained the sides, and Susan picked mashed potatoes, green beans, and salad. As Leah walked away, Susan leaned over and said in a loud whisper that Leah could hear, “Surely even a cook in a greasy spoon like this can figure out how to fry chicken.”
Leah didn’t turn around, but I knew she’d caught the mean comment. I’d had enough. As Sweetie would say, “This ole dog ain’t gonna hunt no more.”
“Listen, Mrs. Murphy,” I said harshly. “I gave up dinner with my family to come here because I care about the Muellers. But I don’t intend to spend another minute with you. You think this is a hick town? There isn’t anyone living here who doesn’t have more class in their little finger than you do in your whole body. At least in Harmony we have manners. We know how to act. You obviously don’t.” I slid out of the booth and stood up. “I’ll wait in the kitchen and take my dinner with me. You can sit here by yourself. That way you’ll get to spend time with your very favorite person in the whole world. My guess is it won’t be a new experience for you.”
I started to storm out, but Susan stood up and grabbed my arm. “Please,” she said, desperation in her voice. “Please don’t go. I’m sorry. If you’ll just let me explain …”
I had no intention of falling for that again, but as I tried to wrestle my arm out of her strong grip, I heard a voice that seemed to come from inside me. It was so loud, I looked around to see if someone nearby had actually said it. I clearly heard, “Don’t go.” That was it. Two words. Don’t go. I took my other hand and pried her fingers off my arm. Then I sat back down.
“Okay,” I said in a low voice. “But this is it, lady. I mean it. Knock it off.”
I was shocked to see tears streaming down her face, and I started to feel like a heel. Wait just a minute, I told myself sternly. She’s the one who was nasty and hateful. Why am I chastising myself?
“I—I just found out today that my husband is seeing another woman,” Susan said between sobs. “Someone from our church. Can you believe that? Someone I thought was my friend.”
Rats. Now I was going to feel sorry for her. Not fair. Not fair at all. “I’m sorry, Susan. I really am.” That not only explained her attitude, I now understood the comment about Christians. I reached out and put my hand over hers. “Look, I’m not an expert about this kind of thing, but I do know God will help you through it.”
She pulled her hand away. “Well He sure didn’t take very good care of my husband. If this is the best He can do, I’ll take care of myself, thank you.”
The words were said quickly, but they were heavy with pain. My previous dislike for the woman turned to compassion. “People make choices,” I said gently. “Sometimes they’re not God’s will at all. He’s not a giant puppet master pulling our strings, you know.”
She used her napkin to wipe her face. “I thought God controlled everything,” she sniffed. “Everything that happens is His will.”
I smiled. “Now that really doesn’t make sense, does it? If that were true no one would ever go to hell. No one would suffer. Didn’t Jesus pray that God’s will would be done on the earth as it is in heaven?”
She stared at me for a moment. “I—I guess so.”
“You’ve read what heaven is like, right?”
Looking more composed, she put her napkin back in her lap and glanced around to see if anyone had noticed her outburst. Even if they had, Harmony residents were too kind to let her know it. No one appeared to be paying any attention. “To be quite honest, Gracie, I don’t know much about the Bible. Our minister says it’s just a nice guide, but it doesn’t mean much today.”
Wow. One of those. I prayed quickly and quietly for help. “I don’t believe that, Susan. The Bible is God’s Word to us. His love letter, if you will. His Word is spirit and life. Not just words on a page.”
“So you believe in heaven?”
“Yes, with all my heart. And just like it says in the Bible, it’s a wonderful place without pain, sadness, death, or sickness.”
She sighed so deeply, she sounded like a big balloon losing all its air. “So you’re saying that this world isn’t like heaven because people make poor decisions?”
I nodded. “That started a long time ago when a man and woman named Adam and Eve made some really bad choices. God gave them the right to do it though, because He wants us to be His children, not His robots.”
She stared down at the table for a moment while she made circles with her finger on the surface. “So it’s really not God’s fault that my husband made the choice he did.”
“No, Susan. It’s your husband’s fault. God loves you so much. He’ll comfort and support you through this if you’ll let Him. And if your marriage can be saved, He’ll help you with that, too.”
“You—you seem to really know God,” she said, another tear rolling down her cheek. She picked up her napkin once again and dabbed at it.
“Well, not as much as I want to, but I’m working on it. What about you?”
Her grief-filled eyes locked onto mine. “The way He’s presented in my church, He feels so far away. Like someone I know about but not someone I really know. Does that make any sense?”
I nodded. Here I thought I came to meet with this woman so we could talk about Hannah and her parents, and now it looked like I was going to lead her to the Lord. Life is weird. I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t listened to that voice telling me to keep my rear end stuck in this booth. I took a deep breath and began to tell her about the great exchange. The life that Jesus died to give us—one free of sin and full of forgiveness. I explained that knowing who Jesus is isn’t enough. We must know why He came and what He did for us. Then we must accept the exchange of our sinful life for His righteous one. I also told her that God has a plan for each of us. A wonderful plan that He formed before we were born. Not only can we
find forgiveness and acceptance but we can also discover His personally crafted path made just for us.
“I want that new life, Gracie,” Susan said, her voice breaking. “I need forgiveness, and I want to find out what kind of life God has for me. I’m tired and unhappy. My way isn’t working at all. I want His way.”
Right then and there we bowed our heads and prayed together. Susan asked Jesus to forgive her and promised to live every day of her life for Him if He would come into her life. By the time we finished, we were both crying. And Leah, who waited until we were finished, had tears in her eyes as well when she returned to our table. She put our plates in front of us and then leaned over and gave Susan a big hug. I tried to hold my breath, afraid of making this odd hiccup noise that happens when I get too emotional. Unfortunately, although I tried my hardest not to let it out, it showed up anyway. This of course, sent Susan and Leah into gales of uncontrolled giggles. I could feel my face get hot, and I looked around the now-crowded restaurant to find the other customers staring at us. But instead of looking at us like we’d lost our minds, they were smiling. I guess most of them realized what had just happened. All I could do was shake my head. Being a Christian is certainly not boring.
“What was that noise?” Susan finally asked when she could breathe again and Leah had left the table.
“I’m not really sure. I’ve had it ever since I was a kid. Unfortunately.”
She chuckled. “It’s so funny.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Oh Gracie, if I can get saved in a diner, in front of all these people, you can certainly get over making a weird noise.”
She had a point. “Okay, I guess that’s fair.” After praying over our food, I dug into my fruit salad. It was delicious. Flavorful chunks of apples, oranges, blueberries, and bananas mixed with strawberry slices and walnuts. And to go with it, the best banana bread I’d ever tasted. It was still warm from the oven. Hector was an artist in the kitchen, and Harmony was blessed to have him. Although I was certain seeing Susan ushered into the family of God had helped to make everything, including my salad, seem much sweeter.
Susan took a bite of her chicken. Her eyes widened with surprise. “Oh my goodness,” she said after swallowing. “This is the best fried chicken I’ve ever had. Even better than my grandmother’s.”
“Not bad for a greasy spoon, huh?” I said with a wink.
She smiled. “Sorry about that. I’ve been so upset all day. When I got to Harmony, I was looking for someone to unload on. Then I saw the way the people dressed, and for some reason it made me even angrier. I don’t know why.” She stared past me for a few moments. “I—I guess I was mad at God, and seeing these people … well, I decided to take it out on them.”
“But then you met Abel and Emily.”
“But then I met Abel and Emily,” she repeated softly. “The love of God just flowed out of them, and I knew I didn’t feel what they felt. My relationship with God wasn’t like theirs. It confused me.” She studied me closely. “I really do want to talk to you about this situation with Hannah, but to be honest, I think I searched you out because I knew I needed help. I couldn’t talk to the Muellers since I’m investigating them. But they said so many wonderful things about you, as did several other people I spoke to, I just knew somehow you were the person I could reach out to.”
I put my fork down. “Well, I’m not sure why anyone would be saying nice things about me. I’m the one who took Hannah to Wichita. That trip seemed to set this whole thing off.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I spoke with the Vogler boy … Jonathan? He said Hannah was on her way to see him when she disappeared.”
My mouth dropped open. “Wait a minute. Do you mean she was only going to meet with Jonathan? She wasn’t running away?”
Susan shook her head. “No. According to Jonathan, she wanted to show him her new outfit, and they were going to try to figure out what she should do next. But she never said anything to him about leaving home before school was over.”
My heart dropped to my feet. “Sheriff Taylor talked to Jonathan, but the boy didn’t tell him that Hannah was going to meet him that night.”
“I know. Jonathan said he was afraid of the sheriff so he kept that to himself. But when I talked to him myself, he came clean because he’s so worried about her.”
“Oh Susan. I’ve been trying to tell Pat that she didn’t run away, but he wouldn’t believe me. You know about the woman in Topeka who was found dead?”
Susan nodded and took a bite of her mashed potatoes. “Wow, delicious.” She pointed her fork at me. “Yes, the story’s all over the news. Why? Do you think Hannah’s disappearance is related?”
“I don’t know, but I think it’s possible.”
Susan seemed to mull over this information. “It sounds like Hannah’s case should be carefully investigated.”
I agreed with her, even more convinced that Hannah could be in serious trouble. We ate quietly for a while until I broke the silence.
“Susan, I’d like to ask you a question.”
She nodded.
“It’s about the reason you came to Harmony.”
“Well, we almost always follow up complaints filed by someone in the community.”
“Can you tell me who called you about Hannah?”
She shook her head. “Sorry, that’s confidential. I will tell you that it’s someone who claims to know the family.”
I frowned at her. “I’ll bet anything it was Esther Crenshaw. Just so you know, Esther’s a busybody who’s always causing trouble.”
She didn’t confirm my suspicions, but a quick look of recognition at Esther’s name told me everything I needed to know.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I intend to report that there’s no evidence of any kind of abuse. Right now, I’m more concerned about this serial killer thing.”
“Me, too. Is there anything you can do to get someone to take Hannah’s disappearance more seriously?”
She chewed and swallowed another bite of chicken. “I think so. We work with the KBI frequently. Let me see if I can get someone to look into it.”
I reached across the table and squeezed her arm. “Oh thank you, Susan. I’m so grateful.”
She shrugged. “You save my soul, I ask someone to take a closer look into a missing child case. Seems fair.”
“I didn’t actually save your soul, but at this point, I’ll take any help I can get.”
We both laughed. I focused on my food, and Susan did the same. Between bites, she told me how she’d gotten involved with helping children. Her own childhood had been anything but ideal. Even as a little girl, she’d dreamed of helping other children escape the pain she’d endured. I knew that many abused children have a hard time trusting a God who calls Himself a Father if their earthly father was cruel. Susan’s road wasn’t going to be easy, but I truly believed she would be okay. Now that she and God were walking together, He could bring real healing and restoration into her life. Beauty for ashes. I purposed in my heart to keep her in my daily prayers. Sometimes healing can be painful. Facing our fears isn’t always easy.
After scooping up my last juicy bite of apple, I asked, “So what will you do about your husband and your friend?”
She rested her chin on her hand and stared at me. “I have no idea, but I think I’ll take some time off work and get away by myself for a while. God and I need to spend some quality time together. If I immerse myself in His presence, and in His Word, maybe I’ll know what to do next.”
“Do you mind if I ask you how you found out your husband was cheating?”
“No, I don’t mind.” She looked down at her plate. I got the feeling she was trying to screw up her courage. “My supposed friend came to me and told me about it. She insisted I give Brad up. She tried to convince me that it was God’s will. That they’re supposed to be together, and that our marriage is a mistake they’re trying to correct.”
“Susan, God doesn’t
work that way. He doesn’t condone adultery, and He hates divorce.”
She frowned at me. “So if I decide to leave my husband, God will hate me?”
Her question hurt me down deep inside. “Absolutely not. God will never, ever hate you. Never. It’s not possible. He loves you, and He’ll love you every single day of your life. No matter what you do.”
“But does He want me to stay with Brad?”
“I can’t answer that. I’m sure God will heal your marriage if that’s what you both want. But God doesn’t expect you to stay in an adulterous relationship. If you want to stay, I guess it’s going to be up to Brad.”
Susan was quiet, and I felt I should also be silent and allow her to think things through. As Sam had pointed out, I’m not Holy Spirit junior.
Leah came to pick up our plates. “How about dessert?”
Susan started to say no, but I told her about Hector’s cobbler. We sent Leah to the kitchen to bring us back some cobbler, along with a pot of coffee.
“I’ll have to diet for a week to make up for this dinner,” Susan said as we waited.
“Keeping my weight under control is a constant battle in Harmony. My only hope is working out in the orchards with my fiancé. It’s a better workout than what I used to get in the gym.”
Susan asked some questions about my life, so I told her about my upcoming wedding and shared a little about the kinds of freelance jobs I was doing. My description of trying to send work over a dial-up Internet line made her laugh. She had a few questions about the conservative Mennonites who live in Harmony, and I explained their way of life to her the best I could. She seemed to understand. I noticed that she carefully steered our conversation away from her personal life during the rest of our time together. That was okay with me. She’d already shared a lot with someone who was really a stranger. We finished up our visit pleasantly, and when we parted company outside the restaurant, she vowed to see what she could do on her end to get more KBI interest in the search for Hannah. She also gave me her card and made me promise to keep in touch with her.
I stood outside by my car as she drove away, heading back to Topeka. Thankfully, a nice breeze made the heat almost bearable. I’d just started to open the door when I noticed a red truck parked on the other side of the street. A sticker was attached to the back bumper. I closed the door and ran across the street to get a closer look. Even though it was getting dark, a nearby street lamp made the image clear. I stepped back into the shadows as someone came out of one of the stores and got into the truck. Rufus Ludwig started the engine and drove away. I stared at his bumper sticker as he passed by me.