by Cole, Fiona
“Oh, my god, Kent. She sounds like a raging bitch.”
“I think Daniel used those same words.”
“I learned how to insult from the best.”
“The final straw was when she said she was tired of having to split my time with Daniel. She wanted me to walk away from him and Voyeur. Be respectable were the words she used. Needless to say, I walked away from her. All her demands had added stress to my friendship with Daniel, and in the end, the thought of losing her affected me less than losing my best friend.”
“Well, I like who you are.”
“Good. Because at this age, I’m not changing.”
“Have you been serious with anyone since?” The question was light, but her eyes dropped to her empty box of fries, purposefully avoiding my stare.
“No.”
I held my breath, my skin growing taught with each inch she covered scanning up to reach my face. This conversation was toeing the line of dangerous, and I worried my mouth would land us on a bomb waiting to go off.
“Do you want to be?”
Swallowing hard, I considered my answer carefully—not ready to admit too much, but also not wanting to be too flippant and hurt her feelings. “I don’t know.” I settled with a neutral—if maybe a little cowardly—answer. “I haven’t excluded it, but I’m getting older.”
Her teeth sunk into her lip, and time slowed, the thudding of my heart ticking away the seconds. After last night, we seemed balanced on the edge of a precipice, and I didn’t know which way we would fall. I didn’t know which way either of us wanted it to fall, but I think we both knew which way was pulling us harder.
The doubt left me having no idea what her response would be. Would she push for more? Would she be okay with my answer? Would she be hurt by it? I braced myself for impact, unsure of which way the storm would turn.
But nothing ever came. She released the tight grip she had on her lip and smiled the coy smile I knew so well. “You’re soooo old.”
It took me a moment to catch up on her change of mood. I hadn’t been prepared for her to be aloof and let the topic go completely.
Apparently, Olivia—like me—wanted to avoid that conversation. Maybe she saw the hesitation written all over my face and decided to give me a break. No matter what her reasoning was for offering an exit, I was taking it. We could resume this conversation another day.
I lunged across the couch and tackled her, loving her laugh, loving the way it stroked across my skin, bringing it to life. Everything about Olivia brought me to life.
“This old man is about to beat you in strip poker,” I declared. We’d had fun playing games all day, and playing one where it got us both naked was everything I needed.
“I need more clothes,” she protested.
“I only have a watch and a towel. It’s a fair match.”
“Fine.”
Three rounds later, I was only in my towel and she in her underwear. She lost her towel first and then her bra, and now her damp hair hung past her shoulders, playing peek-a-boo with her nipples. I wasn’t even sure what I had in my hand, all my attention focused on just a glimpse of her creamy breasts.
I needed this game over with. Now.
I swapped out two cards and held back my victorious smile. Skin prickling with the end in sight, I prepared my plan for when she finally lost those panties.
“Lay ‘em out. Let’s see it.”
When she still didn’t, I pried my stare away from her breasts to find her blue eyes locked on mine. The blue swirled with a dark mix of serious and a hint of light laughter.
“Can I say I don’t want you to go?”
It took me a moment to process her question. Apparently, while I’d been lost in coming up with all the dirty things I was going to do to her, she’d gone somewhere else—somewhere more serious. She phrased the question so lightly, but I could hear the nerves shaking her voice. I knew Olivia censored her words with me. I knew there was a whole new depth of meaning and feeling behind her aloof answers, but I always let it slide. If she wanted to talk about something, she knew she could.
But I saw what the question cost her—what it revealed. She wanted to let me know she would miss me but didn’t want to give in to make herself vulnerable with a direct confession.
Giving her the same reprieve she gave me earlier, I kept my response light and playful.
“Of course, you can. It inflates my old man ego.”
“Shut up,” she laughed, throwing her cards down. A pair of twos and two kings.
Only gloating a little, I laid down my four aces. The air thickened with what was to come, a slight flush of her cheeks, her nipples pebbling between the strands of her hair.
“Come here.”
When she finally stood before me, I gripped her hips and held her stare, deciding to make myself vulnerable enough for the both of us, “I’ll miss you too, Olivia.”
18 Kent
The words on the screen blurred together. I’d been staring at the damn inspection report for hours, and it wore on me. It probably didn’t help that I was running on an hour of sleep. I’d caught the red-eye from New York so I could be here for the inspection.
Vivian was supposed to do it, but her husband had a heart attack scare yesterday, and there was no way in hell I’d ask her to leave his side.
The silver lining in the whole mess: Olivia. I could at least take my time here to see her—to feel her in my arms. Half the reason going through this report was taking so long was because I kept getting distracted looking up at every person walking through the door. She should be arriving at any moment, and I had the perfect view from one of the offices.
Every molecule in my body was on high alert to get to her and to lose myself in her. I was exhausted, and the thought of her eased some of the never-ending pressure from the week.
My phone ringing pulled my eyes from the door.
“Kent,” I answered.
“Hey, man,” Daniel greeted. “How’s New York?”
“It was cold, but I’m actually back in Cincinnati. Had a last-minute change and needed to be here for the inspection.”
“Shit. That sucks.”
I breathed a laugh, pressing my fingers into my eyes to ease the headache brewing. “That about sums it up.”
“Did you get a chance to visit the possible site of the new club? I thought it could really work with the location and size. It’s two stories which opens up a lot of layout opportunities.”
Daniel managed the club and bar—the day to day tasks, while I focused on acquisitions. I’d never had a problem with the roles we fell into. But last night, when I got the phone call saying I needed to fly back, I felt every one of my thirty-eight years, the exhaustion settling heavy into my bones.
I’d craved Olivia more than I’d ever craved anyone, I’d wanted to call her at midnight on my way to the airport just to share the shit that was going on—let her be there with me just so I wasn’t so alone in the stress of the day.
And in that moment, I’d envied Daniel and his role that kept him in one place.
“I didn’t yet. But when I go back, I’ll set up a meeting.”
“You sound old, Kent. I mean tired,” he joked.
“Ha. Ha. Fuck you.”
“Why don’t you come by Voyeur tonight? We can have a drink and relax. Sara’s been asking about you.”
“I can’t tonight. I’ve already made plans.”
“Ohh,” he said like he knew it all. “With the mystery woman who’s been stealing all your extra time.”
Just then, a flash of blonde hair caught my eye, and I looked toward the lobby to find a smiling ray of sunshine strutting her way to the elevator. I gripped the chair, fighting the urge to hang up on Daniel and run to her, to take her into my arms and not let go until I could breathe again.
“I care about you.”
When she spoke those words last week, they’d rocked me like an earthquake, shaking something loose—creating a crevasse that exposed some
thing I hadn’t known existed. I’d almost fallen at her feet and confessed how much I cared for her too, but that had shaken me in its own way. Being with her had started as an ache—a desire and inability to say no to something so tempting, but now it was consuming me.
“I told you, there’s no woman. I’ve just been busy.”
“Yeah. Okay,” he mocked before continuing like my denial didn’t even exist. “Why don’t you bring her by,” Daniel suggested. “Let me check out this golden pussy and see if I can lure her away from you.”
His words were nothing new. It was how we talked to each other all the time. We shared and taunted and flirted with each other’s women. Hell, Daniel had even fucked my wife while I watched, and I’d never cared. But with Olivia, something primal beat inside me, bringing out the possessive caveman that had me snapping at my best friend.
“We’re almost forty, Daniel. Do you think we can just keep fucking women together? We have to grow up at some point.”
“You keep denying it and acting like she’s some secret. You never keep secrets from me.” His tone was no longer the playful Daniel I knew so well. “So, what the hell is going on?”
“Well, it doesn’t mean I can’t keep some parts of my life for me. Jesus. I don’t have to tell you every damn thing like we’re a bunch of teenage girls.”
I wished he would have kept arguing back with me. Taken me down a peg. Called me a selfish, pissy asshole.
But he didn’t.
He stopped altogether—shut down—and each second that stretched on, my guilt grew. I never snapped at Daniel. We bickered and even brawled, but now, my words were to push him away and make him stop looking where I didn’t want him to see. He was right, I didn’t keep secrets, and I knew he felt the wall I was erecting between us. Daniel was more than my friend—he was my brother, and I was pushing him away.
“Listen, I’m just fucking tired and snappy. The two hotels and new club expansion are wearing on me.” More silence and I rushed to fill it, to ease the gap widening at an alarming rate. “I’m stressed, and I’m taking it out on you. Probably because I know you’re the only one who can handle my pissy-ass mood. Lucky you.”
He laughed, but it was forced.
I’d take it.
“Yeah, man. Sorry to push. You’re my brother, and I know no one else will take care of your old ass.”
I forced my own laugh like a band-aid on a stab wound. “Thanks, D. I’ll call you tomorrow, and we can meet up with Carina about the club in New York.”
I hung up the phone and slouched back in my chair. “Fuck.” I only took a moment to collect myself, rubbing at my pounding temples before shaking off the shit phone call.
Olivia was waiting, and I hustled to get to her.
I stood outside the room and took one last breath before swiping the card and opening the door.
As soon as I stepped through and let the door close behind me, a beautiful ball of sex and sin barreled toward me. She leaped in my arms and wrapped around me like a barracuda I never wanted to disentangle from. She peppered kisses all over my face, and before I knew it, I was laughing.
With her in my arms, all was right in my world.
19 Olivia
I could’ve spent every morning for the rest of my life this way, curled up in Kent’s arms. My ear pressed to his chest, listening to the thud of his heart as my hand played in the ridges and valleys of his abdomen. I almost purred from the way he pet my hair between fisting the locks and tugging them just because he could, and he liked the way my skin broke out in chills from the light sting.
That thought should have terrified me. A couple weeks ago, it would have. Now, it still created anxiety pressing on my chest, but it was more a cat than an elephant. The fear of being vulnerable was there, but it wasn’t as scary anymore. It was like Kent turned the lights on and showed me the boogieman wasn’t so bad.
Didn’t mean the boogieman didn’t exist. I was just able to look him in the eye and tell him to fuck off.
“I have to leave again this evening. My business wasn’t done in New York,” his voice vibrated against my cheek, and I tried not to tense at the news.
His message to meet him last night was unexpected, but I hadn’t cared, I was grateful to get more of him.
My first instinct was to pout and demand more of his time, demand we stay locked in this hotel room until we were old and gray.
Instead, I settled for a simple, “Okay.”
It wasn’t anything new from the last month, but it didn’t make it any easier. It’d been a week since our argument. A week since I opened Pandora’s box and admitted that I did really care.
If I thought I cared about this man before, nothing compared to now. I discovered the hard-working man beneath the light-hearted veneer, the caring man, the loving son, brother, and uncle. When he sent me a picture of him with his niece, my heart almost combusted along with my ovaries.
Everything was still the same, but also very different. We still only met at the hotel for quick romps, but sometimes it was more than that. Sometimes, I brought my comfy jammies and curled into his chest, watching movies and eating popcorn. Our phone calls were more about getting to know each other, rather than sexually taunting each other.
It’d only been a few days, but when I thought about it, we’d been shifting for a while. It was just this last week, we embraced it. And I loved everything about it. I never wanted anything to change. I wanted to live in this man’s arms in this hotel room, forever.
But forever came to a screeching halt when his hand stopped moving in my hair and rumbled the words, “I think we should tell Daniel.”
Everything stopped. My heart, my thoughts, my breathing, his breathing.
“What?” I whispered.
“Olivia…”
I jerked to my elbow, needed to see if he was really serious. “Why? Why would you want to tell him?”
His brow furrowed. “I don’t know, Olivia. Maybe because I care about you and want more than this room with you?”
“I do too, but that doesn’t mean we have to tell Daniel.”
“It doesn’t? What about when I want you by my side at social events? Or I want to hold your hand at dinner? What then?”
My heart pounded, thrumming like a freight train, bringing every inch of my skin alive. My lungs worked double-time to compensate for the extra blood pumping in my veins. “I—I don’t know.”
I closed my eyes and imagined telling Daniel I was screwing his best friend. I imagined his eyes dimming, the pride slipping away as he saw me the same way as everyone else—a girl only good for her body. What if he thought I slept with Kent to get the internship? What if he thought all the good things everyone said about me at the hotel were all because I was screwing the boss.
“Olivia…”
“What do you want me to say to him, Kent?” Pulling the sheet to my chest, I moved from the haven of his arms, needing space. “Hey, Uncle Daniel. The internship is going great. Mainly because I’m screwing the boss. Life is pretty easy when you don’t have to use your brain and just your body.”
“That has nothing to do with us, and you know it,” he growled, his own frustration rising now.
“And he’ll know exactly what I let you do to me. How could he not? He’s been your fuck partner for as long as I’ve been alive. He’ll know everything.”
“Olivia—”
“God, the way he’ll look at me. I—I’ll be a disappointment.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“I get to be dramatic,” I screeched. “I’m just a silly girl who gets to be dramatic.”
“Stop,” he barked. “That’s enough.”
But I was beyond his commands. This wasn’t sex, and he didn’t get to boss me around outside of bed. “He’s like my father, and you’re asking me to tell him I have dirty hotel sex with his best friend. I mean, what happens if it doesn’t work out? Who will he choose? Will I be the cause of your friendship ending?”
I
dropped the sheet and searched for my dress. Snatching it off the floor, I struggled to untangle the material with my shaky hands, and tears blurring my eyes. This was everything I was scared of, finally admitting I cared and something going wrong and having to endure the crumble.
“Olivia,” he said, but I ignored him. I didn’t know what else to say. I was in a tailspin of panic and needed to get out of there. “Olivia,” he said again, this time tinged with his own panic now that I had my dress on. “What are you doing?”
I stopped. What was I doing? Running from the moment? Running from the man? I looked at him sitting up in bed and really saw him. I locked my eyes on his, and it was like I could breathe again. Inhaling as deep as my lungs would allow, I calmed down. The panic was still there, simmering, but I didn’t want to run from Kent. I didn’t want to give up at the first bump in the road.
“I’m scared,” I admitted on a whisper.
“I understand. But I also know Daniel.”
“You know Daniel as your best friend. The guy who cheers on your conquests.”
Kent laughed. “Trust me, Daniel won’t be cheering me on when it comes to you. But he also won’t overreact. I know him, Olivia.”
I did too. I knew he was the only person to ever expect more of me. More than stumbling into a sex club and sleeping with the first man I met. What if he found out, and that was how he saw me? Who would expect more of me then?
“Olivia, please.”
Time stood still, and I remained frozen to the spot. “Why?” I finally whispered.
“Why what?”
“Why would you want to risk it? What if all this blows up in our faces? Why risk it?”
He floundered, his mouth opening and closing, and it was like a pin to my balloon. I deflated. Maybe he did only want me for sex, and he couldn’t think of a valid reason to risk it all beyond a good blow job.
“Forget I asked,” I said when his answer took too long to come.