by Cole, Fiona
Her knuckles turned white, gripping the desk, and I didn’t hold back when I held her hips and fucked her ruthlessly.
“Kent,” she whimpered. “What if someone comes in?”
“Let them,” I said through clenched teeth. “Let them see me claiming you. Let them watch me fuck you—leaving my mark on you. Then everyone will know that you are mine.”
Reaching around, I swirled my fingers around her clit fast and hard. As much as I didn’t care if someone caught me balls deep inside her, I knew she would. So, I set about making her come fast.
Her hand slapped over her mouth to hold back her screams as her pussy squeezed my cock, pulling my own orgasm from me. I leaned over her back, and bit at her shoulder, groaning my pleasure, spilling my cum inside her.
“Fuck, I love you so much,” I whispered, peppering kisses along her back. She turned her head and met me halfway to meet my lips.
“I love you too.”
I eased out of her and cleaned us both up with the handkerchief I kept in my suit pocket.
Once she righted her dress, she turned to face me, and I jerked her into my arms for another kiss.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s got you so hot and bothered. Other than me, of course.”
I dragged my nose along hers and pressed my forehead to hers. “Watching Aaron even talk to you, and not be able to pull you close killed me.”
“I wasn’t too thrilled with all those girls hanging on your every word.”
“You would be able to rub it in their faces if you’d just admit we’re together.” I hadn’t meant the words to come out so harsh, but I was reaching the end of my rope. Each time I saw Daniel, a noose hung around my neck, just waiting to be pulled tight. I hated lying to him. “Have you even tried to talk to Daniel?”
“I—I haven’t had the time.”
“Then give up a night with me and tell him.”
“I—Kent.”
Pulling out of our embrace, my heart sank when she wouldn’t meet my eyes. Her tongue slicked across her lips as she studied the ground, her hands clenching and unclenching by her side. “Olivia.”
“I just need time.”
“I’ve given you time.” My words echoed around the empty room.
Her eyes jerked to mine, and the bright blue, I loved so much, glossed over. “It’s not that easy.”
“Actually, it is that easy. You want to be an adult, then make the hard decision to get what you want. Stop playing this dumb girl to get your way.”
She stood there, eyes wide, not saying anything like she expected me to take it back. But I wouldn’t. She was mature enough to handle everything, she didn’t get to pick and choose what she showed up for and what she hid behind her façade to avoid.
When I remained silent, she pulled her shoulders back and stood tall, pulling her armor around her. “Is that what you think of me? That I’m some dumb girl?”
“No, Olivia. It’s the fact that I know you aren’t some dumb girl that pisses me off that you keep acting like it when it comes time to tell Daniel.”
Her chest rose and fell over her heavy breathing, but her lips remained pinched tight.
“Olivia, I love you—”
“Then let that be enough,” she interrupted. But I continued like I hadn’t heard her.
“But I can’t keep lying to Daniel. I’m almost forty. I don’t hide who I am.”
Her eyes flicked around the room as if she’d find an answer written on the walls. Eventually, she looked back to me, her eyes defiant, but I could see the plea in them too. “I can’t, Kent. And I’m asking you to be okay with that.”
My eyes slid closed, trying to pull back on the hurt and anger surging up, but when they opened, it was all still there. The love of my life, standing there, asking me to lie. It was too much to hold back. “I won’t keep lying to him, and you remember what happened to the last woman who asked me to lie,” I said dangerously low.
Olivia stumbled back like I’d hit her, and I regretted the comparison to my ex-wife. I regretted implying I’d leave her just as easily. We were so much more than what Ivette and I had been.
I ran a hand through my hair and was about to take the words back, when she squared her shoulders again, and slid a coat of armor around her, blocking out any emotion from coming through. “You should go.”
“I don’t want to leave like this.”
“There’s a lot of things you don’t want to do, but right now, I need you to walk away.”
“At least let me walk you out.”
“Please, Kent.” Her voice cracked, and I saw through the hard veneer she was barely holding on to. She just needed time to cool down, and we would figure it out later when emotions were running less high.
“Will you meet me at the hotel later? I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m not sure any of this is a good idea.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, sucking all the air from my lungs. “Olivia,” I pleaded. We could work past this.
I loved her.
We loved each other.
“Please, just go.”
When I still stood there, dumbfounded by the rapid turn of events, she grabbed her things and walked out, leaving me behind.
26 Olivia
I exited the cab in front of the hotel and stared up at the tall building. Five days—the longest I’d been away from the hotel since I started over three months ago, and I missed it. But I was done here. I would finish my project next week, I just needed to grab some final information from Vivian, and I’d have no reason to come back.
I was happy at the same time as dreading it.
I was happy to finish the project. Relieved to not have to face Kent every day and miss him. I dreaded leaving because I’d lose the connection I had to something that had made me excited about my future. I dreaded leaving because I’d lose the connection I had to him.
He’d messaged me a few times a day since I’d walked out on him, but I ignored each one. I wasn’t even sure what to say or what I wanted him to say. Well, I knew what I wanted him to say; I was wrong. The reality was that the only person who needed to be saying that was me.
And I couldn’t because, over the past five days, nothing had changed. Panic crashed over me, stealing my breath, each time I thought of using it to tell Daniel the truth. Maybe I was just the dumb, scared girl he accused of being a façade.
Taking a deep breath, I prepared for whatever stood on the other side of those doors. I knew he was back from New York, but I didn’t know if he was here. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was hoping to find.
I scanned each inch that I could, holding my breath around every corner until I found Vivian bent over some papers with one of the employees.
“Olivia.” She stood and smiled. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. How has it been this week?”
“Fantastic. All the final touches are getting done this month, and then we open.”
“That’s so exciting.”
“All our hard work, coming to fruition. We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Thank you, Vivian,” I said, smiling harder than I had in days.
“Oh, I wanted to ask you while Alexander is gone, his birthday is in a couple weeks, and we were going to throw him a little party in the hotel restaurant. It wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t there.”
His birthday was soon? How had I not known?
The idea of a party with Kent had me mentally scrolling through my wardrobe, trying to find the sexiest dress to tempt him. It all came to a screeching halt when I thought about Daniel being there and Kent having to pretend I didn’t exist.
Just like that, the stone in my stomach was back. “I’ll see what I have going on,” I answered noncommittally. “Is he here?”
“You just missed him. He had a flight to catch.”
“Oh.”
Vivian took me around to say goodbye and answered the few qu
estions I had. We were in one of the offices, packing up when she stopped me.
“Miss Russo wanted me to give you this.”
I looked down at the packet of papers she had. “What is it?”
She gestured for me to read, and I scanned the top.
Internship Application for
Wellington and Russo Marketing Team.
“Oh…Wow. I…”
“She specifically said you were her top pick and hoped you’d filled it out.”
Tears burned the backs of my eyes, and I had to blink to hold them at bay.
“You’ll be a shoo-in, Olivia, with all your talent.”
“Thank you,” I breathed, overwhelmed by her kind words.
Daniel always told me I was smart, that I had crazy talent, but these last couple years, I’d walked around flippant about my future and letting people believe I was a spoiled airhead. I had no reason to prove otherwise, no one else expected anything else. Maybe part of me began believing it to be true.
But after this project, I felt a drive like I hadn’t before. To have Carina Russo say that she wanted me, locked that ambition in place, and I couldn’t wait to get home and fill it out.
“Well, sweetie. I have to go make some phone calls. I’ll see you around. Hopefully, at the party.” She stepped around the corner and jerked back, her hand to her chest. “Goodness, Alexander. You scared me,” she laughed, walking past him.
“Sorry about that, Viv. Thankfully, I remembered I forgot some papers before I made it to the airport.”
I thought I’d make it out without seeing him. I thought I’d get a reprieve, but just hearing the deep rumble of his voice from around the door had my heart tripping over itself to get to him. When he rounded the corner and saw me standing there, he froze, and I fought every muscle in my body to not run to him. His beard was thicker than before, and he looked tired.
“Olivia.”
Just my name, but it stroked across my skin, trying to seduce me into his arms. When I didn’t move, he closed the door and stepped closer, only stopping when I took a step back. His eyes pinched closed as if in pain before opening. I could at least be kind enough to not lead him on.
“How are you?”
“Fine.”
“You’ve ignored my calls.”
“I’ve been busy.”
The muscle along his jaw jumped. “Don’t lie, Olivia,” he ground out.
My lungs squeezed too tight to take a deep breath. He’d inched closer and sucked all the air from my lungs, refusing to give it back until I gave him what he wanted. I just didn’t know that I could. “What do you want me to say, Kent?”
Another step. “I want you to tell me the truth. I want you to come here and be in my arms. I want you to let me love you.”
He made it all sound so easy.
“You know I love you.” I wouldn’t pretend everything would work out, but I, at least, wouldn’t lie about how I felt about him. No amount of time dimmed that love.
“Olivia.”
“I’m sorry.”
That muscle jumped again, and he tried to hold my gaze, but his dropped before popping back up filled with the answer I was tired of hearing.
“Then, nothing has changed.” It wasn’t a question.
I tried to step around him, but his hands framed my face and held me close. “Please, don’t do this.”
Please don’t make me stay here and see what my fear was holding me back from.
I stared into his deep brown eyes, remembering how much they’d entranced me when we first met at Voyeur. Who knew one night would end like this? Was this the end? Was this the last time I’d ever look up and want to sink into his gaze?
Wanting to take the chance while I had it, I pressed to my toes and almost had my lips to his when his phone vibrated in his pocket.
“Shit,” he muttered. “That’s my driver. I have a plane waiting.”
I sank back to my feet and nodded.
“I have to go. He leaned down, speaking the words against my lips. His mouth moved like a whisper, barely there, almost imagined. “I’ll call you when I land.”
Everything in me pushed to close the breath of a gap between us. But for once, in the presence of Kent, my mind won out, reminding me of why having his hands cradle me so gently hurt so much.
I stepped out of his reach. “Don’t worry about it.”
I hated myself, standing there watching his fists clench and unclench, letting my fear win out. Terrified, if I lost Daniel, I’d find nothing but a hollow bimbo underneath. Terrified of the world of hurt awaiting me when he finally walked away.
“Dammit, Olivia.” His jaw clenched. “Listen. I’m here. If you want to talk, I’m here. Call. Message. Smoke signals. Anything.”
The lump that had been residing in my chest since last week worked its way up my throat, and I was scared that if I opened my mouth, it would all come out—I would sob and beg him to not leave me. So, instead, I nodded.
He hesitated, his body stiff with indecision before he nodded back and turned, walking out the door. I made sure to memorize his broad shoulders, tapering down to the most perfect ass. I took in his swagger and imprinted it on my mind. Just in case I never saw it again.
He said he was there for me, but not how I needed him. And right now, I needed time to figure out what I could live with.
And what I couldn’t.
27 Olivia
“I think I’m going to dye my hair pink.” Oaklyn’s voice barely registered.
“Sounds good.” I didn’t even bother to look up from picking at my nail polish.
It’d been almost two weeks since I’d walked away from Kent the first time. Less than a week since I spent my last day in his hotel. Less than a week since he’d walked away from me.
I had no need to see him anymore. Except that my body desperately ached for him. Except that I missed hearing his voice and watching him laugh. Except that missing him hung like a fog around me—a buffer keeping any happiness out.
It was dramatic—rationally, I knew that, but my heart didn’t care. It was a dramatic bitch that said screw rationality.
I’d moped around and clung to my phone, typing message after message only to delete them. He knew where I stood, and as devastated as I was, I wouldn’t beg. As much as I wanted to say I wouldn’t beg because of pride, the reality was that I knew it wouldn’t change anything.
I saw the same hurt in his eyes—the hope that we could work past this, that I would step up and make a better decision. I saw the plea for me to just be strong and tell Daniel about us. But as much as the hurt clung to me, so did the fear, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It didn’t matter how much he loved me, and I loved him, sometimes love wasn’t enough.
Which left me sitting in Callum and Oaklyn’s living room, crossed legged, staring at my hands, picking at the last of my nail polish. I hated fidgeting. It showed weakness and nerves, and I was Olivia Witt. I didn’t show any of those.
At least, I didn’t used to. Now, that’s all I was—a hollow body without the armor I used to wear before Kent.
“You’re not even listening.” Oaklyn’s voice whipped through the fog.
Lifting my chin, I forced myself to meet her eyes. “Yes, I am,” I lied.
She blinked slowly, giving me a deadpanned stare. “Really? Because I just said I was going to leave Cal to get a sex change, and I got nothing from you. No dick jokes or anything.”
The reason I’d been avoiding her eyes in the first place hit me; the concern, the pity, the worry. If I could block them out, maybe I could pretend it was just me making a big deal out of nothing. But staring at Oaklyn now, there was no pretending this break up wasn’t a devastating massacre.
“I’m sorry. I just…I’m a mess.”
“I know.”
“Thanks,” I said dryly.
“You know what I mean. I hate that you’re hurting, and I’m your best friend, so of course, I notice it no matter how much you hide.” She reached
across the cushion between us and held my hand, lowering her own gaze now. “Maybe it’s better it happened now than later.”
Her words hit me like a slap to the face, and I snatched my hand away from hers. Oaklyn always played the devil’s advocate for me as I did with her, but right then, I didn’t need her rationale.
“There wasn’t supposed to be a later,” I argued. “Us breaking up shouldn’t have happened at all.”
She sat back and shook her head, not letting me hide behind the perfect future I’d pictured for Kent and I. Her look let me know she would drag out reality. Her look let me know she’d been soft and caring long enough, and it was time to face the truth. I both loved and hated her for what she was doing. I knew it would ground me and pull me back from my emotional ledge. I also knew it would hurt like a bitch.
“What did you expect to happen, Olivia? It was a lose-lose situation for him.”
“I expected him to stand by me, no matter how long it took,” I proclaimed, stabbing the couch. “I expected him to want me enough—to love me enough.”
“Put yourself in his shoes. What if someone asked you to lie to me? Lie about something that could do irreparable damage if I discovered it on my own. Something that would hurt me to find out you lied about. The longer the lie goes on, the bigger the damage it can cause. He had just as much to lose as you if the lie continued.”
“I know,” I shouted. “I know. It just—it doesn’t make it easier.” My voice cracked on the last few words, and tears finally spilled down my cheeks. “I wouldn’t want to lie to you either, but if I loved someone enough, I’d expect you to understand why I lied for so long. I’d expect you to understand.”
Oaklyn scooted over and wrapped me in her arms, letting me bury my head against her shoulder and cry. She brushed her hand over my hair doing her best to soothe me.
“I’m so sorry, Olivia. I wish it was different for you. You were happier than I’d seen you in a while, and you know how much I wanted that for you.”
“I wi-wish it was different t-too.”
I clung to her, breaking down for the first time. Sure, I’d shed some tears and been angry at times, but I hadn’t yet let it all come out, fearful of what would be left of me when it did.