by Cole, Fiona
Without hesitation, he wrapped me in his arms, and I buried my head in his chest, feeling a true confidence I wasn’t sure I’d ever had slide into place before.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Stop.” He gripped my shoulders and held me back so he could see my face. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“I messed up.”
His head fell back, and he laughed. “I’m not going to tell you how much I messed up at twenty-one. You’re a hell of a lot more mature than I ever was at your age—maybe even now—but no matter how mature you are, you’ve got a lot of life to screw up. And you will. It’s what you do about them that makes the difference.”
“What do I do?”
“What do you want to do?”
I wiped at my cheeks. “Ugh. Can’t you just tell me.”
Another laugh. “Nope. If you’re going to be with my best friend—” he stopped to shudder. “Then I won’t be the guide book. You need to figure that man out on your own.”
“So, you’re not mad I was with Kent?”
He looked around the room and took a deep breath. “It’s an adjustment. And I may need therapy, but I’ve already talked to him and laid out my rules.”
“Really? How is he? Is he okay? Are you guys, okay? God, I messed up your friendship. I’m so sorry.”
“Stop,” he said again. “Kent and I will probably survive the apocalypse together. You didn’t mess anything up. As for how he’s doing, you need to figure that out on your own.”
I paced away from him, rubbing at my forehead. “I messed up so bad. I asked him to hide it even when he explained how much he hated it. Even after he told me about his ex-wife and her asking him to hide himself, I still did it. I was horrible.”
“We all make mistakes.”
“But what if he can’t forgive me. What if he doesn’t trust me to be happy with him for him.”
“You need to ask him that.”
“I don’t even know where to start.”
He winked. “I have an idea.”
31 Olivia
“Are you sure?” Oaklyn asked by my side.
Was I sure about attending Kent’s birthday bash? No.
But after my conversation with Daniel last week, I knew what I needed to do. A million things could go wrong. I could put myself out there with this crazy plan I’d concocted, and he could tell me it was too late. The me from months ago urged me to say fuck it and not bother anymore. His loss. But that shell of apathy cracked long ago under the care and ministrations—the love—from Kent. All that was left was an honest need to be with him despite how horrible it could go wrong. Despite that, I had very little control over the outcome. I could get hurt worse than I was already aching. I could break.
Despite all that fear, I knew it was worth it. I had to try. I had to put myself in his hands and hope he didn’t let me shatter.
And if everything failed, I had Oaklyn by my side, so if I began to crumble, she could hold me together long enough to get the hell out of there.
“Just hold my hand tonight and support me.”
She held out her hand, and I latched on, grateful for the support. “I’ve been here the whole time. You deserve this. Be Olivia Witt and take it.”
“Sir, yes, sir.”
She rolled her eyes and tugged us from the spot we’d been standing on the sidewalk staring up at the hotel I’d had some of my happiest moments in.
The lobby had soft lighting and people lingering with champagne glasses, some even swaying to the jazz playing in the background. I tried not to frantically look from side to side, searching for dark hair sprinkled with flecks of gray.
I was distracted from my search when Vivian greeted us just inside the restaurant where the party was in full swing.
“You made it.” She squeezed my hands and pulled me down for a quick hug.
“I wouldn’t miss another chance to come back and see you guys.”
“We definitely miss you.” She craned her neck, scanning the crowd before rolling her eyes and coming back to me. “Alexander is, of course, late. Something about a business call. He can’t even stop working long enough to celebrate another year.” She smiled and squeezed my hands one more time. “Well, girls, grab some champagne and enjoy the party. I need to go mingle and make sure the VIPs are taken care of.”
“Wait,” I called before she could go. “I—” I stuttered, but Oaklyn squeezed my hand and reminded me why I was there. “I was wondering if I could ask you a quick favor.”
“Of course. Anything,” she assured, smiling. I hope that smile stayed in place and didn’t transform to one of disgust.
“Okay, I guess I should probably start by explaining.” Her head tipped to the side, waiting for me to continue. Taking a deep breath, I word vomited everything on a single exhale. “I love Kent, and we were together before I screwed everything up, and now, I’m trying to get him back because I love him, and I need your help. Please,” I added for good measure. Maybe good manners would distract her from me admitting I loved her boss who’d kind of been my boss.
Her brows rising slowly was the only movement she made. “Alexander?”
I winced, biting my lip, and nodded.
“Okay,” she said slowly. She shook her head and laughed softly. “Okay,” she repeated, this time more firmly. “What do you need me to do?”
“Really? You don’t think less of me because I’m in love with the guy I was interning with who’s much older?”
Oaklyn scoffed, sick and tired of my doubts.
Vivian smiled softly, and I was sure it was the same look she’d used on her kids when she wanted to reassure them. “Olivia, you’re a grown woman. You can make your own decisions, and as long as you respect yourself in the process, who am I to judge how you make yourself happy.”
“Oh.” She made it sound so simple.
“Like I told my daughter, be with whoever you want or with, however many people you want. Just do it with respect, safety, and pride. And legal. That one’s important too,” she added, making me and Oaklyn laugh. “Now I know why Alexander has been so damn grumpy all week. So, tell me what you need so we can fix that.”
I leaned in conspiringly and laid out my plan. With a few nods, she promised she’d have everything set up for me and left to make it happen.
We’d just turned away when Daniel walked up. “Oaklyn.”
“Hey, Daniel.”
“Kiddo,” he greeted me, reaching his hand out.
I leaned back before he could make contact. “Don’t you dare ruffle my hair. It took hours to pin it in place.”
He chuckled and held his hands up in surrender. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Have you seen Kent?”
“Not yet. He said something about a phone call and told me to get started without him.”
“Oh.”
He squeezed my hand. “Don’t worry. He’ll be here.”
“Okay.”
“It’s going to be okay, Olivia.”
I nodded, but without confidence.
“I need to mingle, but grab yourself some champagne and stop worrying. If you need me, I’m here.”
“Thank you, Uncle Daniel.”
“I’m always here. Always.”
With that reassurance and a kiss to the forehead, he disappeared into the crowd of people, leaving Oaklyn and me alone to wait.
And wait we did.
We found a spot against a wall at the edge of the room and drank glass after glass of champagne, stealing a fresh one every time a waiter stopped by. My mother would be disappointed in my lack of social graces tonight, but my nerves prevented me from being on for strangers. There was only one person I wanted to be on for, and he had yet to arrive.
As the minutes ticked by, my heart sank a little lower, the champagne went down a little quicker. Maybe he wasn’t coming. All this stress, all this planning, for nothing. Doubt hung on my limbs, making them heavy and hard to hold up. I wanted to sink to the floo
r and feel sorry for myself. I downed the contents in my glass and was about to do just that when Oaklyn whispered. “There he is.”
She nudged my shoulder, nodding to the entrance.
Every nerve ending came to life, making me ultra-sensitive to the rush of adrenaline surging through my veins. It hurt how hard my heart thumped against my chest when I took in his broad shoulders in a black suit and vest, his snowy white shirt unbuttoned at the top. It hurt when my heart beat irregularly and tried to climb out my throat at his mere presence.
My heart thought me a fool and was ready to abandon my body just to get to him. My heart thought my body was stupid for standing still and watching him move through the crowd, looking delicious and not at all depressed. It screamed at me to screw the plan and run to him, fall at his feet, and beg for forgiveness.
He shook hands and smiled, even managing a laugh. The deep rumble reached across the space and pricked at my eyes, causing tears to build until they fell over.
“I haven’t slept all week. Meanwhile, he’s looking better than ever.”
The more I watched through blurry eyes, the more doubt crept in. Maybe he hadn’t been missing me at all. Maybe he was relieved to not have some naïve girl holding him back, asking him to be someone he’s not.
“Does he?” Oaklyn asked. She tipped her head to the side as if studying him from all angles. “He looks tired. Even from here, his smile looks forced. Which is saying something for a man who almost always smiles.”
I tipped my head like hers and watched him turn away from the group he’d been talking to. His full lips immediately dropped to a flat line. He snagged a glass of champagne from the passing tray and downed it in one go. Maybe Oaklyn was right. Maybe he was hurting too.
Maybe I was letting my fear color what was really there.
Pulling my shoulders back, I swiped the tears from my cheeks just as he looked up and over, locking eyes with mine.
Almost forty feet stood between us, but I felt each emotion slam into me as if it was a physical force.
Hurt.
Longing.
Need.
Desire.
Time stretched on—stood still for us to drink each other in. As if a rubber band snapped, he turned to come to me. Just as quickly, he stopped when Vivian called his name.
“Alexander Kent. It’s about time you arrived,” she said from the stage where the jazz band played.
He winced before turning to face Vivian, lifting his glass in salute. “It’s called fashionably late.”
The crowd laughed, and I took that as my chance to slip away. As I made my way along the edge of the room, Vivian kept everyone’s attention.
“Well, we have a heck of a party planned for the man of the hour.”
“Strippers should be here any minute,” Daniel called from somewhere in the crowd. Another rumble of laughter as well as some cheers.
Vivian narrowed her eyes at Daniel and smiled before facing Kent again. “To get the night started, I think we should sing Happy Birthday. What does everyone think?”
I was almost to Vivian as the crowd applauded and cheered.
“To do the honors, we have one of our own, Miss Olivia.”
My heart thundered, blood pumping the only sound I could hear. My scalp tingled, and the floor swam. I refused to look out to see his reaction, instead keeping my eyes on Vivian, who held the microphone out to me mouthing breathe.
I sucked in a huge gulp of air, and the light claps and shouts of encouragement came roaring back.
“Good luck, Marilyn,” Vivian joked.
I don’t know why I thought this was such a good idea, but I thought he would laugh, and that was the foundation of who we were together. We had fun, and we loved. He’d once told me that I made him come, and I made him laugh, and those were the two most important things to him. Making him come in front of everyone probably wouldn’t go over well at a mostly business function, so I decided to go for laughter.
But when I looked up, he wasn’t laughing.
The muscles in his jaw clenched. His Adam’s apple bobbed over a swallow. His tongue slicked across his lips. His eyes—almost black from where I stood a few feet away—raked over every inch of my body encased in the nude-colored dress, decorated with rhinestones from head to toe.
He set me on fire, and I had to force my feet to stay in place and open my mouth to sing the words when the band started playing.
I used a breathy voice and worked through my nerves to put on a show. Everyone cheered, and some joined in. When I sang the last word, applause erupted like I’d sung to a stadium and not less than a hundred people.
Kent’s eyes never left mine. Each word ignited something in him until I was sure he would explode.
Once things quieted down, I lifted the microphone and put myself out there for him to hold or shatter. There was no hiding behind a façade, there was no pretending in front of anyone. It was just him and me.
“Can I have this dance, Mr. Kent?”
I held my breath as an eternity stretched between my question and his slow nod. With shaking hands, I placed the mic back in the stand and forced myself to walk to his outstretched hand rather than run and jump into his arms. The band broke into a jazz rendition of Stronger by Ziggy Alberts. He loved jazz, and I loved it all. This song was a perfect blend of us.
Holding my breath, I placed my palm in his. Electricity fired from my fingertips, up my arm, jolting my heart, and down to my core, locking everything in place along the way. Without any hesitation, he jerked me into his arms, and I willingly slammed into his chest, sliding my hand around his neck, entangling myself with him.
“Hi,” I whispered.
I shivered when his other hand slid around my waist and rested on my bare back. His fingers stroked down to where the dress began just above the crack of my ass. When he didn’t say anything, I tracked my gaze up his neck, past his lips, until I finally met his eyes. When I did, he smirked. “Hi.”
“Happy birthday.”
“Thank you for my song.”
“Anything for you,” I answered honestly, hoping he heard what I really meant.
“Anything?”
I glared. He wasn’t letting me out of this easily. He wanted me to lay it all out there—lay all of myself out there, and I didn’t blame him. “Anything. I love you, and I’m sorry for holding any part of myself back because I was scared to give up all control. I was scared of getting hurt. But no matter how much I hid, the truth was always there. I’m all yours, every part of me.”
“Olivia,” he groaned my name, the deep rumble vibrating against my chest, bringing my nipples to life. “I love you too.”
“Can you give me another chance?”
“I’d give you anything you wanted because I’m all yours too.”
Euphoria spread like a flood, warming me from the inside out. “I missed you so much. I was such a naïve little girl, and I—I missed you.”
“You’re anything but a naïve little girl. You’re a woman who has been hurt. You’re a woman with doubts, and that’s allowed for any age. You just have to let me help you through it.” He leaned down, pressing his lips against the shell of my ear. “I’m pretty smart with all this life experience I have. Trust your elders. It’s good for you.”
I buried my head in his shoulder and laughed. “I hope you don’t plan on playing the ‘elder’ card for the rest of our lives.”
“The rest of our lives, eh?”
“If you’ll have me.”
“I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you, but I’m not letting you go. You may be in your prime while I’m using a walker, but that’s too bad. You get this old man through thick and thin.”
“Good. Maybe I find walkers kind of hot.”
His head fell back on a laugh, and I fought to not lean in and bite the strong chords of his neck.
Kent twirled me out, and the world spun as he tugged me back in.
“Have I told you how gorgeous you look?”
> I bit my lip to hold back my smile. “I may have worn this dress to torture you.”
The rough pads of his fingers trailed down each ridge of my vertebrae until they rested just above my ass, where my dress dipped dangerously low.
“I want to rip this part,” he said against my ear, dragging his finger along the top crease of my bottom over the dress, “in half, and bend you over to fuck you.”
I exhaled shakily and pressed my thighs together to ease the ache only he could cause.
“You promised me anything, and I plan to collect. You know how much I love to bury myself in your tight ass.”
“Yes,” I hissed. “Do it.”
A rumble started low in his chest, and his eyes melted with promise. “Take me home, Olivia. Otherwise, I’m going to break one of Daniel’s rules and fuck you right here, and he’s already glaring enough.
“I can’t wait for home, Kent. I need you now.”
“How about one last time in our room.”
I was already turning to walk out when I answered. “If we make it.”
We didn’t end up making it. He made good on his promise and ripped my dress down the back and fucked me in the elevator.
It was perfect.
It was us.
Epilogue
Olivia
“I’m sorry. Who?” my mom asked as my dad choked on his wine.
“I’m seeing Kent.”
“Is this a boy from school?”
“No. This is Alexander Kent. Uncle Daniel’s friend.”
“I’m going to need something stronger,” my dad mumbled, downing his full glass. He rubbed a hand down his face, and then stood from the dining room table to go to the liquor cabinet, poured himself a glass, and downed that too.
My mom still sat there staring, her face frozen in a mix of shock and concern.
“I know it’s not what you would consider ideal, but I’m happy.” My chest expands to near exploding, and I can’t stop the full smile stretching my cheeks until they ache. “I’m really happy, Mom.”
Her face softened, taking in the joy pouring off me. “I mean…I—” she laughed softly. “I’m not really sure what to say.”