by Ashley Jade
“Really sorry,” Dylan chimes in. “We honestly never meant to hurt you.”
I glare at her. “I take it your dad never went back to prison, did he?”
Guilt colors her pretty face. “No.” She slinks down in her seat. “Not to my knowledge anyway.”
My stare bounces between the two of them. “I know you love my brothers, but did it ever occur to either of you that keeping the truth from me would hurt me? Especially after we’ve grown so close.”
“Not really,” Sawyer says.
When my eyes turn hard, she quickly adds, “Not because we don’t care about you, but because we do. We thought we were doing the right thing. The doctors said not to push you and every time you found out something new that happened in your past, you were devastated.”
“It was hard watching you fall apart,” Dylan says. “So when Jace told us not to tell you about the accident in order to give you a fresh start and let you heal…we didn’t object. You didn’t need any more confusion in your life, you know?”
“I get that,” I whisper.
Yet, being left in the dark still infuriates me.
I take another sip of my drink. “Jace isn’t always right, though.”
Dylan gives me a small smile. “He isn’t. But he loves you, Bianca.”
“So does Cole.” Grabbing a napkin, Sawyer dabs her eyes with it. “We all do.”
Next thing I know, Sawyer’s a blubbering mess beside me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the accident. I just didn’t want to cause you any more pain.”
Sawyer’s always been a softie, but seeing how distraught she is over this has me wanting to throw my arms around her.
Dylan’s face falls. “We were trying to protect you.” Reaching over the table, she squeezes Sawyer’s hand. “We hope you can forgive us.”
My heart sinks. Even though I’m still upset with them, I know their hearts were in the right place.
“I forgive you,” I tell them. “Just don’t lie to me again, okay?”
Dylan’s face lights up. “Deal.”
Sawyer blows her nose. Loudly. “I’m so sorry.”
I can’t help but laugh as I wrap her up in a hug. “God, you’re such a mush.”
She sniffles. “I hate knowing I hurt you.”
I pick up another napkin and wipe the mascara streaks staining her cheeks. “You didn’t do it on purpose.”
I’m taking another sip of my macchiato when the flashback I had last night flits through my head.
Now that we’ve made up, I’m really hoping they can fill in some gaps for me.
“So,” I begin after Sawyer’s settled down. “I’ve been having some flashbacks.”
Dylan and Sawyer exchange a glance.
“What kind of flashbacks?” Dylan questions.
I fiddle with the croissant on my plate. “Ones involving Oakley.”
It’s obvious I was obsessed with him even though he kept turning me down.
Nonetheless, I can’t help but wonder why we were in the car together.
Did I need him to save me from another cliff incident?
Were we driving to the store?
Running away together?
The last one is highly doubtful given he hated me and all, but still.
The possibilities are endless, and I can’t stand not knowing.
“Do you guys know why I was in the car with him that night?”
Sawyer shakes her head. “I have no idea.”
Dylan looks down at her coffee.
“Dylan?” I prompt. “What do you know?”
She blows out a heavy breath. “I care about you, Bianca, but it’s really not my place to tell you certain things.”
“What things?”
She closes her eyes. “Look, we weren’t friends then, so you never told me anything about your relationship with Oak, and he hasn’t told me all that much either.” Leaning back, she folds her arms. “But even if he did, it still wouldn’t be my place to spill. It’s his.”
“Well, it’s not like I can ask him anything since he refuses to talk to me,” I point out.
Frowning, she peers down at her coffee cup. “Maybe that’s for the best.”
I vehemently disagree.
“Or maybe you can persuade him to stop being so stubborn and speak to me?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She can’t be serious.
I grit my teeth, failing to hide my irritation. “Let me get this straight. You won’t answer any of my questions, but you also won’t ask him to talk to me? I thought we were friends, Dylan?”
“We are.” Her forehead creases. “And as your friend I don’t want to lie to you. Therefore, I can’t answer questions about your history with Oakley. He’s my cousin and I love him, but I also love you and Jace which puts me in a very difficult position given your brother hates him and he’s responsible for your accident.” She looks down at the table. “I’m really sorry, but it’s exhausting being pulled in three different directions all the time, so it’s best I don’t get involved.”
I hate that she won’t give me anything, but it’s clear she’s not going to back down so I have no choice but to respect her wishes.
“Fine.” Turning to Sawyer next, I utter, “We were close back then. What do you know about my relationship with Oakley?”
Sawyer nearly chokes on her coffee. “Nothing.”
Exasperated, I look up at the ceiling. “For fuck’s sake, Saw—”
“I’m being serious,” she states. “You never said a word to me about it.” She takes another sip of her coffee. “Trust me, I was just as surprised as you were to find out about you two.”
Once again, I feel like I’m on a merry-go-round that doesn’t end. “Find out what about us?”
“I don’t know,” Sawyer insists. “I mean—I once overheard you two arguing about you sneaking into Oak’s bed in the middle of the night and him turning you down. But other than that, you never confided in me about your relationship with him.”
It’s all I can do not to scream. I knew the old Bianca was private, but not divulging anything to Sawyer—or anyone for that matter—about Oakley has seriously screwed me.
That’s when it dawns on me. Sawyer might not know about my relationship with Oakley, but maybe she knows about my friendship with Hayley.
Specifically, why I hated the girl so much.
After taking a lengthy sip of my macchiato, I decide to hit them with it.
“Oakley situation aside, there’s something else that’s been bothering me.”
Dylan stops eating her muffin. “What’s up?”
“I only get bits and pieces from my random flashbacks, but the few pieces I have make it clear I didn’t like Hayley very much and I was blackmailing her for some reason.”
Their eyes widen in shock.
I wince. “I’m hoping one of you might know why?”
Dylan shakes her head. “I don’t have a clue. I didn’t know Hayley very well, but she seemed like a sweet girl. I can’t think of a single reason you’d go after her.”
“Except for the fact that Oakley and Hayley spoke regularly, and they still cared about each other,” Sawyer mutters.
When we both look at her, she holds up her hands and says, “Again, I have no idea what your relationship with Oak was like, but given you were pissed he turned you down, and you went so far as to hook up with Morgan behind his back...who’s to say you weren’t also blackmailing his ex-girlfriend Hayley because you were jealous?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” My heart sinks. “I was just hoping there might be something else.”
Something that didn’t make me feel like a total asshole.
“I’m sorry, Bianca. I wish I could help, but I don’t really know much about your relationship with Hayley either.” Sawyer looks sheepish. “Although there was this one time we were at a party and Hayley showed up. You weren’t happy to see her, yet you made it a
point to become fast friends with her. When I asked you what was up, you told me to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”
Dammit. That totally sounds like something I would do.
Well, not me…her.
I rub my temples and groan. “Sometimes I seriously hate the old Bianca.”
I ruined this poor girl’s life all because I was jealous.
And now she’s gone.
Sawyer squeezes my hand. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“How could I not be? I became frenemies with Hayley in order to gather some intel I could use to terrorize her.”
Oakley had every right to be upset about it.
It doesn’t matter that I didn’t upload the videos.
I’m still the lowest of the low and I’m certain there’s a special place in hell for someone like me.
Dylan frowns. “You’re not the same person you were back then, Bianca. The fact that you feel bad about it now says a lot.”
I reach for my purse and stand since my next class starts in fifteen minutes. “Maybe, but it still doesn’t make me feel any better about blackmailing her over a guy.”
And it’s not like I can find her and apologize for any of it…
Because she’s dead.
Past…
“Hey.”
I peer up at Morgan through my sunglasses. “Hi.”
Earlier today she texted me that there was something super important she needed to talk to me about, so I told her to come over.
I gesture to the raft I’m currently floating on. “As you can see I’m busy, so make it snappy.”
She blinks. “Seriously?”
Ugh.
Annoyed, I get out of the pool. “What do you want, Morgan?”
Her green orbs peruse the length of my body before she looks up at me. “I think I’m ready.”
Grabbing my towel off the back of a chair, I stare at her. “Ready for what?”
Drawing a breath, she takes a step forward. “For this…us.”
Color me confused.
I raise an eyebrow. “Us?”
Her teeth sink into her lower lip. “I want to be with you, Bianca. And now that I’m no longer pretending to be with Oak—”
I stop her right there, because holy hell. “Morgan…no.” Deciding to be honest with her, I give her the truth. “There’s someone else I’m into.”
And if she utilizes even a fraction of her brain power, she’ll have no problem figuring out who that someone is.
Her face falls. “Oh.” She shuffles her feet. “I didn’t...I mean I guess I should have. I feel so dumb.”
Well, shit.
Despite my well-earned reputation as a stone-cold bitch, I do pity her.
In my defense, I warned her not to catch feelings for me, but she went ahead and did it anyway.
Which means I’m in the awkward position of having to deal with the fallout.
“Look, Morgan,” I start. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
“Come on, Bianca—”
“It’s true,” I insist. “You’re a good catch and someday you’re gonna make some girl really happy. It’s just…that girl isn’t me.”
Glassy-eyed, she shakes her head. “I’m so stupid.”
No argument there. However, I’m not completely heartless.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” I tell her honestly. “Despite how we started, that wasn’t my intention.”
“Bianca?”
“Yeah?”
She sucks in a deep breath. “I feel it’s only fair to warn you that she’s not into you.” Her expression turns serious. “You really need to watch your back around her…and your heart.”
I have no idea what she means. “Who are you talking about?”
“Hayley.” She tilts her head. “That’s who you’re into …right?”
Given I want to know all the dirt, I don’t bother correcting her. “What do you know about Hayley?”
She laughs, but there’s no humor. “Well, for starters, the girl is always blowing up Oakley’s phone at all hours, so she’s obviously not over him.” Her teeth sink into her bottom lip. “And sometimes she—” her voice trails off.
“Sometimes she what?” I prompt.
“Well…sometimes she says really mean things about you. Like how you’re always so rude to everyone.” She starts ticking things off with her fingers. “She also said you make fun of people with disabilities. And you never tip the waiters and waitresses when you go out. Oh, and you sleep with a bunch of guys—”
“That’s not true,” I all but screech.
I’m not exactly Miss Mary fucking Sunshine—but I always make sure to tip the waitstaff and I don’t sleep around.
Not that there’s anything wrong with girls who do.
But most of all? I would never ever in a million fucking years make fun of anyone with a disability.
Christ. No wonder Oakley thinks so low of me.
The bitch has been sabotaging me behind my back this entire time.
I’m so angry, I’m seeing red as I brush past Morgan. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Where are you going?” she calls out.
To handle this shit for once and all.
“Do you have an appointment?” the woman at the front desk questions.
“No, but I called earlier, and you said you could get me on the schedule today.”
“Okie dokie. Let me check you in.” Not bothering to look up, she presses a few keys on her keyboard. “What’s your name?”
“Bianca Covington.”
That gets her attention.
Not that I’m surprised. Given my father is the owner of Trust Pharmaceuticals, my last name is the equivalent of gold in the medical community.
Smiling tersely, she presses a few more keys. “All checked in. However, Dr. Young is running a little late this afternoon, so it will be a bit.”
I have all the time in the world.
I find a seat far away from the crotch goblin sitting on the other side of the waiting room.
Evidently not far enough though, because she walks up to me.
The little girl with messy pigtails—who looks to be about eight years old—gives me a big toothy grin.
Well, what’s left of her teeth, because a few are missing.
“Hi.”
I avert my gaze because if you don’t make eye contact they’ll eventually go away.
Hands on her hips, she looks me up and down curiously. “Where is your baby?”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“Where is your mother?”
Her cheerful demeanor evaporates. “I don’t have one anymore.”
“Oh.”
Join the club, kiddo.
Twisting one of her pigtails around her finger, she gestures behind her. “My dad went to the bathroom.” Cupping a hand over her mouth she leans in like she wants to tell me a secret. “But I think he’s talking to Dr. Young without me.”
I swallow hard. “Because of your mom?”
Her eyes wander to the floor. “I really miss her.”
Me too.
Folding her arms, she purses her lips. “I don’t like coming here.”
I instinctively stiffen. “Why?”
She shrugs. “Sometimes talking about mommy makes me cry.”
Yeah, I get that.
Feeling a kinship between us, I tell her a secret of my own. “Well, you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. You can ask to play games or bring a coloring book and draw instead.”
She looks shocked. “Really?”
“Yup. Therapy is your time.”
“Won’t he get mad?”
“He shouldn’t. But, if he does, ask to see a different psychiatrist because this one sucks.”
This new knowledge lights her up like a Christmas tree. “I like you. What’s your name?”
“Bianca.”
“Hi, Bianca.” She holds out her hand triumphantly. “My name is Angelica.”
She gives me another toothy grin. “You already said that.” Her eyes widen when she looks down at my bracelet. “Wow. That’s nice.”
I want to point out that it’s a fifteen-thousand-dollar white gold and diamond Cartier bracelet so it’s a lot more than nice, but a man in a suit walks over to us.
“Young lady, what did I tell you about talking to strangers?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that maybe if he didn’t leave his kid unattended, she wouldn’t, but Angelica stomps her foot and whines, “She’s nice, Daddy. And so pretty…just like Mommy was.”
Angelica turns to me. “Maybe you can be my new mommy?”
Her father turns ten different shades of red. “Angelica, please stop harassing her.” He looks at me apologetically. “I’m so sorry. My wife passed away seven months ago, and she’s been looking…” His voice drifts off.
For another female to fill the void.
Unfortunately for Angelica and myself, it’s one that can never be filled.
He tugs on her hand. “Come on, let’s go get some ice cream.”
Angelica protests, tears welling in her big green eyes. “No—”
“Hey.” I drop down to my knees so I’m eye level with her. “You want to see something really cool?”
Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, she sniffles. “What?”
I take off my bracelet. “This bracelet has superpowers.”
She doesn’t look like she believes a word I’m saying…until I lean in and whisper, “Not only does it protect you and make you stronger, but if you talk into it when you’re all alone, mommies can hear you all the way in heaven.”
Her eyes widen. “Really?”
I nod emphatically. “Really.”
“How do you know?”
“Because my mommy died when I was a little girl too.”
There’s an unspoken bond between us as I place the bracelet on her tiny wrist. Luckily, it’s adjustable so I’m able to make it fit.
Angelica’s lower lip wobbles, but I tap the bracelet and she sucks in a jittery breath, gathering her composure.
Attagirl.
The world will chew you up and spit you out at the first sign of weakness.
“See? It’s already working.”
Before I can stop her…she wraps her little arms around my neck. “Thank you.”