For an instant he looked as if she’d slapped him. Then, his face set, he said flatly, ‘You misunderstand me. I don’t want you to “pretend” to love me…’
As she stared at him, his eyes hard, his voice icy, he added, ‘I really don’t care a jot how you feel about me. All I want is you in my bed and available if I so much as lift a finger.’
‘I was right,’ she said shakily. ‘You are crazy.’
‘Then I prefer to be crazy with you in my life.’
‘It w-would never work,’ she stammered. ‘If you still love me—’
‘I don’t…’
His denial hit her like a blow over the heart. She had foolishly imagined that, beneath all the anger and disillusionment, he still felt something for her other than mere lust.
‘This is a purely physical thing,’ he went on, rubbing it in, ‘a kind of sickness, a fever in the blood, an obsession—give it any name you like. But, whatever you call it, I need you back in order to cure it, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve that end. Luckily, I’m rich enough to be able to—’
‘Buy me?’ she flung at him.
‘I was about to say, save your father’s company, but if you prefer to put it that way…’
‘That’s what it amounts to.’
‘So is your answer no?’
After a moment she said bitterly, ‘You know perfectly well it has to be yes.’
‘Don’t look so desperate. It’s not as if I’m asking you to do something you haven’t done before, and very willingly, I might add.’
Her face flaming, she said, ‘That was different.’
‘In what way?’
‘Then I loved you.’
He laughed harshly. ‘You might have been in love with love, but never with me. If you’d really loved me you would have trusted me. Been willing to listen and believe me when I told you I was innocent. But instead you jumped to the conclusion that, because you had absented yourself on our wedding night, I’d either found a replacement or paid the nearest hooker—’
‘How could I believe you when—’ She broke off, biting her lip. ‘Oh, what’s the use of going through all that again?’
‘None whatsoever while your mind is still so closed that you’re unwilling to admit that there might be another explanation, rather than the obvious one, for what you saw.’
‘I don’t see how there can be,’ she said, a stubborn set to her chin.
‘There can be, and there is.’
‘I wish I could believe you.’
‘Well, whether you believe me or not, as you’re my wife and I’ve waited three long years for this moment, I want you in my bed tonight.’
As she shivered, his eyes on her face, he continued softly, ‘I want to feel your warm naked body against mine, I want to hear your moans as you writhe under me, I want to make love to you until you’re begging for mercy and I’m completely sated.’
While she shuddered at his words, against her will she found herself aroused by them, and her heart began to race madly while a pool of molten heat formed low in the pit of her stomach.
As though he knew exactly what she was feeling, he asked softly, ‘Does the idea turn you on?’
‘No, it doesn’t,’ she denied hoarsely. ‘I hate the very thought.’
‘Your mind might hate the idea of you being naked and vulnerable in my arms, but I believe your body will love it.’
She knew only too well that what he said was true.
Taking a deep unsteady breath, she asked, ‘How long would you want me…?’
‘In my bed? For as long as it takes to finally get you out of my system.’
Her voice scarcely above a whisper, she asked, ‘And then what?’
He shrugged as if it was of no consequence. ‘When I’ve finished with you, Judson can have you back.’
She flinched at his deliberate cruelty.
‘If he still wants my leftovers, that is.’
Flicked on the raw, she flashed, ‘Why shouldn’t he? You seem keen enough to have his.’
‘I don’t believe that you and he have ever been lovers,’ Jared told her evenly.
Before she could respond, he suggested with blatant mockery, ‘But perhaps he “respected” you too much to actually try?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she snapped.
‘Then how come you managed to keep him at bay?’
‘I didn’t do any such thing,’ she denied.
But, though it had been subconscious, she had done exactly that. She had tended to regard Martin as a brother, think of him in a platonic way, rather than as a man with needs.
With that unnerving ability to read her mind, Jared pursued, ‘Was his failure to stimulate your interest enough to dampen his ardour?’
The moment the words were spoken she realized how true they were, though until that minute she had been too grateful for Martin’s restraint to question the reason for it.
Watching her face, Jared said with satisfaction, ‘That appears to be right on the money.’ Then, sounding genuinely puzzled, ‘So if you don’t really love him and he doesn’t turn you on, what made you decide to marry him?’
‘I do love him and he does turn me on—’
Seeing that Jared still looked unconvinced, she demanded, ‘Do you seriously believe that Martin has remained celibate for nearly three years while he waited for me?’
‘Why not? I have.’
She gaped at him, hardly able to credit it, yet hearing an unmistakable ring of truth in his voice.
Knocked sideways, needing to regain her equilibrium, she said, ‘But, to finish answering your question, the main reason I decided to marry Martin was that I was sure I could trust him.’
The shot went home and she saw a flicker of pain and anger cross Jared’s dark face before he asked, ‘If you really believe that, why did it take you so long to agree to marry him?’
‘Having made one bad mistake made me cautious.’
‘And you didn’t think that marrying Judson would be a mistake?’
‘No. As I just said, I knew I could trust him.’
‘Really?’ Jared said shortly, ‘Well, in answer to your question, no, I don’t believe Judson has stayed celibate for three years while he waited for you. In fact I know he hasn’t.’
‘What do you mean?’ she asked tightly.
‘Though he’s been very discreet about it, he keeps a mistress.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘Then you should. She’s a curvaceous blonde. Her name’s Jackie Long and she has a flat in Olds Court, Fulham, which Judson pays for. He visits her there quite regularly.’
Badly shaken, Perdita said desperately, ‘He may have done in the past, but I’m sure he hasn’t since we got engaged.’
‘That’s where you’re mistaken. He’s been visiting his lady love just as regularly. He spent a couple of hours with her just before he flew to Japan.’
‘You’re lying!’ she choked. But, even as she spoke, she knew he wasn’t.
Though all she had ever felt for Martin was affection, the knowledge that he had been deceiving her knocked her completely off balance. She had believed in him implicitly, never for a moment suspecting that he had another woman.
But it might be partly her fault. If she’d agreed to marry him sooner…
Reading her thoughts with deadly accuracy, Jared said, ‘A wife, especially an unworldly one, isn’t necessarily enough for some men.’
Would that have applied to Martin?
Yesterday she would have said no with confidence. But now she was shaken to realize that she hadn’t known him at all.
‘Why so shocked?’ Jared asked. ‘Unless you had him down as some kind of saint?’
Perhaps, subconsciously, she had.
‘If you did, to find he has feet of clay must be—’
Suddenly all the anger she felt was directed towards Jared. ‘You’re a fine one to take the moral high ground and stand in judgement!’ she spat at him. ‘Ma
rtin may not be perfect, but he wouldn’t have taken another woman to bed on his wedding night.’
It was plain Jared didn’t like that, but after a moment he let it go and said quietly, ‘Neither did I. And it wasn’t my intention to stand in judgement. I know from experience that three years is a long time, but after all the trouble he went to get you it seems…callow, lacking in self-control not to be prepared to wait…’
Then, clearly following a new and not too pleasant train of thought, ‘You’re a passionate woman so I can’t rule out the fact that there may have been other men in your life before you got engaged to Judson.’
Still wanting to hit back, she said, ‘Of course there were.’ Then spoilt it by adding, ‘Dozens.’
Jared’s white teeth gleamed as he smiled wolfishly.
‘Forgive me if I doubt that.’ Then, consideringly, ‘There’s something about you, a kind of innocence, that makes me hope and believe you haven’t had a lover since you left me.’ A hardness to his voice, he went on, ‘If I’m wrong and you have, then I’ll just have to make you so completely mine again that you don’t even remember what he looks like.’
Jumping to her feet, she walked blindly to the edge of the terrace and stood staring into space, his words burning into her brain.
It would have been bad enough if he had still loved her. But he didn’t, so she would be just his plaything…
If she allowed herself to be.
But if she could stay cool and calm, freeze him off, she would be safe. He wouldn’t force her, that was something she was certain of.
So she had the advantage.
Or had she? Would she be able to freeze him off?
In the past she had always found him irresistible, the chemistry between them immediate and potent. At one time he had only needed to touch her to reduce her to a state of abject desire. Indeed, he had been able to set her alight merely by looking at her in a certain way.
But that kind of response was long dead, she assured herself. After everything that had happened, only distrust and an unwilling attraction remained…
‘Don’t worry, it won’t be all bad.’
Jared’s voice from just behind her made Perdita jump a mile. She could feel the warmth of his breath on the back of her neck and, alarmed by how close he was, she had started to move away when he slid his arms around her and drew her back against him.
His lips brushing the side of her neck, making her shudder, he asked, ‘About ready for bed?’
‘No, I’m not at all tired,’ she lied hoarsely.
‘As sleep wasn’t on the agenda, I’d prefer it if you weren’t tired.’
The hardness had gone from his voice and now it was dangerously soft and seductive.
Gritting her teeth, she played for time. ‘It’s such a lovely night I’d like stay out here for a while.’
‘Very well.’ Taking her hand, he led her back to the nearest lounger and, stretching out, pulled her down into his arms.
The feel of his firm muscular body beneath hers made it hard to breathe and set her heart thumping so loudly she thought he must surely hear it.
Knowing it was useless to struggle and would only arouse him, she stayed quite still, stiff and unyielding and, in an attempt to distance herself mentally, stared fixedly at the lights reflected on the black surface of the swimming pool.
After a while the effort of holding herself so stiffly became too much and, she was forced to relax against him.
‘That’s better,’ he remarked, and nuzzling aside her hair, touched his lips to the warmth of her nape.
Shivering, she tried to ignore that erotic caress but it set every nerve in her body tingling and she twisted a little in his arms.
As she did so, her breast brushed against his hand which had been lying idly across her ribcage.
His response was to stroke his thumb lightly over her nipple and he gave a little appreciative murmur when, beneath the thin silky material of her dress, it firmed to his touch.
Feeling an unwelcome heat spread through her, angry that her body had betrayed her so easily, she pulled herself free and scrambled to her feet.
He rose with her, smoothly and effortlessly and, slipping an arm around her waist, asked, ‘Decided you’d like to go to bed after all?’
‘No…’ Her mind racing at top speed, she desperately sought a stay of execution. ‘What I’d really like is a swim.’
‘Be my guest.’
‘I’ll just—’
‘There’s no need to fetch your costume,’ he broke in drily. ‘The outside living area is well screened and private, even in daylight, and you’ll find towels and robes in the changing cabins.’
As she hesitated, a taunt in his voice, he added, ‘Don’t forget I’ve seen you naked many times. However, if it bothers you, I promise I won’t look.
‘But, before you make your intention to swim obvious, I’d better put Sam to bed, otherwise he’ll insist on joining you.’
She waited until the pair had vanished into the house before walking to the nearest cabin on legs that even now weren’t quite steady.
Once inside, she stripped off her clothes and, leaving them on the bench, pulled on one of the towelling robes that hung from a row of hooks.
Seeing no sign of Jared, when she reached the edge of the pool she draped the robe over one of the nearby sunbeds and, descending the steps, slipped into the water.
It was blissfully cool and felt like satin against her bare skin. After swimming a couple of lengths she turned to float on her back, motionless, her hair fanning out around her like bright seaweed.
The night was silky dark and quiet apart from the endless shrill song of the cicadas. The sky above her head was a vault of black velvet, the stars closer than she had ever seen them before.
When she had looked her fill she turned and swam to the side. She was on the point of getting out when she realized that Jared had returned, and started to swim another length.
It was years since she’d done any serious swimming and after ten or twelve lengths she would have been pleased to stop. But, unready to face what would happen once she left the pool, she forced herself to keep going until common sense told her she was being a fool. She couldn’t keep swimming all night.
Making her way to the steps, she started to climb them, shocked to discover how leaden her limbs felt.
Jared appeared and held out a hand to help her.
‘Tired?’ he asked.
‘A little,’ she admitted.
He reached for the towelling robe she had discarded earlier and wrapped it around her.
‘In that case…’ Taking her hand, he led her towards the jacuzzi.
It was screened from the house and terrace by a waist-high semicircular stone wall, but the front was open to what in daylight would be a pleasant view over the gardens.
As they approached, Perdita could hear the faint bubbling sound of water and see wisps of steam rising from the surface. A nearby alcove held a neat pile of towels.
Slipping the robe from her shoulders, he said, ‘This is what you need.’
A broad seat made a horseshoe round the tub and when she had descended the steps she sat down, submerged up to her shoulders.
The gentle erotic swirl of hot water around her weary limbs felt lovely and she was just starting to relax when Jared enquired, ‘Mind if I join you?’
Her breath caught in her throat, she said nothing.
He stripped off his clothes and a moment or two later sat down by her side, a great deal too close for comfort.
Knowing that if she moved a fraction his naked thigh would brush against hers, she sat quite still.
After a moment he remarked softly, ‘You’re as taut as a drawn bowstring. Why don’t you loosen up and let the water do its work?’
Seeing the sense of that, she made a great effort to follow his advice.
The last forty-eight hours had been highly charged and had taken their toll. But, after a while, lulled by the warmth of the w
ater, her tired body massaged by the jets, she managed to relax and, closing her eyes, let herself drift.
She was roused by a mouth touching hers and a voice saying gently, ‘It seems a shame to disturb you, but it’s time we were moving.’
Alarmed by that kiss, she scrambled up and, losing her footing, would have slipped if Jared hadn’t caught her arms and steadied her.
‘Careful now. You’re still half asleep.’
An arm at her waist, he saw her safely up the steps and draped the robe loosely about her shoulders, before fastening a towel around his own lean hips.
As he picked up another towel, realizing his intention and scared stiff of what it might do to her, she said sharply, ‘Don’t touch me.’
‘What’s wrong?’ He sounded genuinely surprised.
Afraid that if he touched her she would be lost, incapable of freezing him off, she said, ‘I don’t want you to touch me.’
Though his face gave nothing away, she felt sure she had vexed him. Perhaps if she made him angry enough he’d give up and leave her alone, for the time being, at least.
Guessing that the mention of Martin would be like a red rag to a bull, she lied, ‘I’ve got used to Martin touching me.’
Seeing Jared raise a derisive brow, she ploughed on, ‘He may be no saint but, contrary to what you seem to think, he’s always been able to give me everything I need.’
His voice as smooth as silk, Jared said, ‘Don’t worry. I’m sure I can do the same.’
‘I very much doubt it,’ she told him recklessly. ‘In any case, I don’t fancy being pawed by a man I don’t love.’
The look on his face told her that not only had she succeeded in making him angry, but his certainty that she didn’t love Martin and hadn’t slept with him had been badly shaken.
That look was gone in an instant and, his voice calm, dispassionate, he said, ‘While you may prefer Judson’s attentions, from now on you’ll have to put up with mine.’
The big towel he held was soft and absorbent, his touch gentle as he proceeded to dry her off; even so, every nerve in her body zinged into life when he drew her back against him and began to rub her hair.
That done, he dried her throat and shoulders and her firm breasts while, his lips brushing her ear, he whispered, ‘Do you remember the last time we shared a jacuzzi? How, afterwards, we drank red wine and made love under the stars…?’
Claiming His Wedding Night Page 11