Finding Us

by Debra Presley

  She blindly walked back toward her bed and sank down on it. This just wasn’t possible. The angle of the video prevented Abby from seeing his face, but it did look like him. She contorted her head, as if that would help her figure out what she was seeing. Just turn around. She needed to see if this guy on the video had a tattoo on his left arm like Danny.

  A crowd cheered in the background. Well, this was definitely at a concert. After that realization, she quickly shut off the video and tossed the phone on the bed.

  She curled herself into a ball and stared at nothing. She needed time to figure things out, but it was impossible to do with the video of Danny playing in her mind, battling for her attention against the memory of Sean with the groupie. Were all men assholes? Or was it just her special curse in life? The only thing she knew for sure in the moment was she didn’t want Sean to release the video. Danny might not be the man she wanted him to be—the hero to Sean’s villain—but that didn’t mean he deserved to have his career destroyed by Sean’s petty vengeance. There were so many things she needed to really think about—her mother, Sean, her career, and now Danny. But there was no way that was happening tonight. There was too much swirling noise in her head for any clarity to make its way to the surface.

  Her phone buzzed. She ignored it. It buzzed again. And again. Finally, she slowly picked up her phone.

  Sean.

  That was no big surprise. She sat up in her bed before opening the text. Did you enjoy the show?

  Bastard. She ignored the text, but another came through. He wasn’t going to stop. She looked at the phone. Have you decided to play nice?

  Should she answer him back? No, he didn’t deserve an answer. The next text came in. You’ll end his career.

  She let those words bounce around in her head. It was like Sean could read her mind or knew exactly how to get Abby to bend to his ways.

  She fell back onto the mattress and looked up at the ceiling. She didn’t know what she was going to do. There was no way she could pretend to be with Sean, not after all that had happened.

  He used to be so different. When Kelly introduced her to Sean, he was exciting and only had eyes for her. They hit it off right away. She loved to jam with him late into the night. He took her seriously as an artist and encouraged her to keep writing. No one ever took an interest in her in that way.

  Prior to that, Vivien had kept her sheltered. She didn’t have boyfriends as a teenager. She worked. While girls her age were going on first dates, or to prom and graduation, she was rehearsing, recording, and selling out arenas that held sixty thousand people.

  All her firsts were with Sean. She loved him, and for a long time, they were happy and inseparable, but then her mother found out how talented he was and latched her claws into him. Before Abby knew it, he was touring with them.

  He changed after that. It wasn’t immediate, but Abby noticed the subtle differences. He’d hang out with the band more, and she’d dismiss it. He had to bond with them, right? He needed to get to know them. Then he’d stay behind when she had interviews planned, or he’d “catch up” with her later. Always freshly showered and in a new outfit. Seemed understandable after a show.

  But then it became blatant. Hard to push aside things such as groupies hanging around him, smelling unfamiliar perfumes, or finding empty condom wrappers. She told her mother, but her pleas fell on deaf ears. After a while, Abby just grew to accept it as normal. There was nothing she could do about it, so she might as well find a way to adjust.

  She groaned.

  The constant loop of Danny and Sean raced through her mind, intermingled with her mother’s words. None of this was going away on its own, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it right now.

  Instead of dwelling, she decided to give herself a little help forgetting for the rest of the night.

  She found six of those tiny bottles of vodka in the minibar. If that wasn’t enough, she’d move on to the supply of tequila. She opened one and tossed it back in two gulps. The alcohol burned against the back of her throat, but it would also help her relax. After two more bottles, her brain settled into a nice gray fog where Sean and all the other bullshit couldn’t penetrate. She turned on the TV and eventually drifted off to sleep with the QVC sales person chattering in the background.

  She’d sort her crap out in the morning.

  Abby awoke the next day with a pounding headache that echoed the loud banging on her hotel door. Crap. She rolled over and felt the tiny bottles lumped beneath her. Fucking hell. She rolled back to her original position and slowly sat up. The knocking continued, and Abby was certain her head would pop clean off if the noise didn’t stop soon.

  “I’m coming,” she yelled and regretted it immediately. What had been an excellent plan to help her forget had turned into a huge hangover and a bottle graveyard scattered across her bed. This was not her finest hour.

  “Abby, I’m coming in,” Danny said, and Abby could hear how annoyed he was all the way through the door.

  “Shit.” She ineffectively tried to gather the evidence of her bad judgment, but she couldn’t get her hands and feet to coordinate with the rest of her body.

  “I’m coming!” She yelled louder and immediately dropped the bottles she’d managed to collect onto the floor. She clutched the sides of her head, hoping the pressure would keep her skull together. She had to stop yelling like that. She finally made it to the door only to find a very pissed-off bodyguard on the other side.

  “What the fuck?” He brushed past her into the room.

  “Sorry. I was sleeping and I didn’t hear you.”

  “Where is your phone? Sophie called you. I called you. She even called your room phone and no answer. You scared the fuck out of me. I was three seconds from kicking the door in.”

  Abby stared at him for a long moment. The dull rush of blood through her brain muted his words and made it hard for Abby to understand what he was saying. When his last comment registered, she felt confused more than anything. “Why didn’t you use your keycard?”

  “Goddamn it, Abby,” Danny roared. She’d never seen him this upset. His hands and voice shook as he said, “I couldn’t think. I didn’t know where you were, if you were hurt, I just needed to get to you.”

  Danny wasn’t speaking as a professional bodyguard, and Abby heard everything he said, including the emotion behind the words, with perfect clarity.

  “I’m sorry. Really, I was sleeping. What time is it?” She followed him into her room. While he searched for intruders, she popped a breath mint in her mouth.

  “It’s ten o’clock, and you’re due in rehearsals in two hours, but you missed a phone interview with some radio station. Sophie’s doing damage control.” Danny walked through the rooms, obviously still on high alert.

  “Shit. I forgot.” She trailed behind him and sat down on the sofa. Abby pushed her hands against her temples. All this movement, not to mention the noise, wasn’t helping the thumpity-thump drum line stomping through her head, and on top of that, she felt a bit dizzy.

  “Well, she’s trying to reschedule. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

  At the mention of her phone, Abby’s memories from last night rushed to the front of her muddled brain and she got pissed. Her conversation with Sean and the memory of watching Danny with some woman hit her with 3-D clarity and Dolby Digital Surround Sound. How dare he question me? She wanted to let him have it, but she had an enormous hangover and couldn’t quite think properly. Her anger added to the fog rather than clearing it away. She was in no shape to confront him, especially since she wasn’t even sure what she would be confronting him about. She might be pissed, but she still didn’t want to rush ahead and make things worse than they already were.

  Instead of arguing, she shrugged, and that movement made her head spin even more. She bent over and cradled her arms over her head, trying to get the spinning to subside.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m not feeling well. I think I�
��m getting sick,” she raised her head.

  “Sick?” He questioned, and his voice gave him away. Danny wasn’t dumb.

  “I decided to have my own pity party last night. I think I went overboard, and now I have the biggest hangover…ever.”

  “I doubt it’s the biggest ever. Even though it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, I understand why you did. You had some heavy shit thrown at you.”

  “You got that right.” She turned away. She found it difficult to look him in the eyes. “And now I’m nauseous and dizzy and so embarrassed. I need to call Sophie and apologize.”

  He sat next to her and rubbed his hand over her back. “You should rest. I’ll tell Sophie you’re not going to rehearsal.” He didn’t give her a chance to respond before he pulled out his phone and dialed.

  “I’m with Abby,” he said, then silence. Abby assumed Sophie was venting on the other end of the call. “She was sleeping.”

  Abby moaned. Her head and stomach were really causing her a lot of pain.

  “She’s sick. I don’t think she’s going to make it to rehearsal today.” He covered for her.

  “I agree. I’ll get her back to bed. I’ll keep you posted.”

  “Danny?” she whispered and slowly sat up.

  “Perfect. Talk soon.” He ended his call. “I’m right here.”

  “You don’t need to cancel rehearsals. I’ll be fine.”

  “Do you really want blaring music in your ears right now? Because if you do…”

  “Point taken.”

  “Go back to sleep. You’ll feel better with a few more hours sleep.”

  “Thanks. I feel kinda stupid now.”

  “We’ve all been there. Sometimes a night to escape is just what you need. I get that.”

  Abby stood so suddenly the movement amped up her dizziness, and she stumbled. Danny held her steady.

  “I’ll help you.” He guided her to the bedroom with a firm hand on her elbow. “You good from here?”

  “Yes. It’s the getting up and the moving that makes things all jumbled in my brain.”

  Danny chuckled. “Rest.”

  “Will do.”

  He exited the room but left the door slightly ajar.

  She felt so confused, only partially because of her pounding head. These past few days really fucked with her emotions. She didn’t have much experience with men. Sean had been her only serious relationship, and she’d spent her childhood performing and her teenage years on a bus. Now, at twenty-three, her only boyfriend turned out to be a lying, cheating bastard who didn’t hesitate to hurt her when his false promises of love stopped working. And, to top it off, her mother valued Sean as her new protégée more than she did Abby’s safety. It seemed Vivien saw life in two columns, one with dollar signs, the other without. Everything else paled.

  She wanted to think about what she was going to do, but before she could make a decision she slipped off to sleep. Danny’s gentle nudges finally woke her up.

  “What?” she said with a groan.

  “It’s time to get up.”

  “Already?”

  “Yeah, if you don’t get up now, you’ll have to leave still smelling,” he teased.

  “I don’t smell.”

  “You reek. For real.”

  “You’re an ass.” She tried to hide her smile.

  “Just get up and get ready.”

  “Aye, aye Captain.”

  “Now, who’s the ass?”

  “I’m up. Shoo.” She motioned with her hands for him to go.

  Danny left, but Abby didn’t head for the shower, instead she searched for her phone. There were a ton of missed calls and messages, but she ignored them and searched for the number of the one person who could help get her head straight.

  “Ms. Sohm?”

  “Abigail.” Abby was filled with warmth at the sound of her voice. Ms. Sohm was the only person who could get away with calling Abby by her full name. When Ms. Sohm said Abigail, it was with love the way Abby always envisioned a mother using her baby girl’s name. You could hear the warmth and sincerity in her tone.

  “Sophie told me you called. Sorry I didn’t call earlier. I had a late night…” She hesitated. If she wanted honest advice, Ms. Sohm was the person to get it from. She was Abby’s teacher from the time she was ten years old until she graduated high school, and their relationship was much more than student and teacher. Ms. Sohm was the mother she always wished she had.

  “What’s wrong? You don’t sound right.”

  “Oh, Ms. Sohm, I’ve had a horrible couple of days.” She hurried into the bathroom and closed the door.

  “Tell me all about it.”

  Abby let it all out, explaining everything that happened over the last two days. Confessing it all was cathartic.

  “Don’t back down Abigail. You’re an adult, and what you’re asking for isn’t unreasonable. Despite all you’ve seen, you’ve grown into a kind and loving person. You’re someone I’m proud to know. Stand up for yourself.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “As for your bodyguard, don’t make any harsh decisions. He doesn’t sound like the type of guy to do something like that. From what I’ve seen, and what you’ve told me, he seems quite fond of you. Regardless, he is a strict professional. I can’t see him leaving during a performance for any reason. Find time to talk to him. Show him the video and trust your gut.”

  “Right,” she took in a deep breath and battled with her emotions.

  “Now, it’s three hours earlier there, but I’m thinking you need to get moving.”

  “Yes. I’m back in New York soon. I’ll come see you.”

  “I’ll be waiting for you.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too, Abigail. See you soon.”

  “Yes, I’ll call you in a day or two and tell you when I’m free.”

  “Perfect. Have a great show.”

  Abby hung up the phone, feeling relieved and focused. She turned on the shower and got ready to leave.

  * * *

  Danny, Ron, Sophie, and three other guards from the arena escorted Abby to her dressing room. The atmosphere felt completely different compared to her show in Vegas. Only essential personnel were allowed in her room. For the first time in quite awhile, she was relaxed sitting in her chair while her assistants took care of her hair and make-up.

  Sophie was also a great distraction. She kept the pre-show routine as close to normal as she could, and as with every other night of the tour, when Sophie had Abby cornered in the make-up chair, she went over any news she should know about.

  “Here’s our updated schedule. After the show tonight, we move directly to the bus. We have two more shows, and then you fly to New York. I have you down for two commitments while you’re there, and then you get the rest of the time to yourself.”

  “Great, thanks. Oh, I spoke with Ms. Sohm today. Please make sure I get to see her while we’re on break.” She gave her a small smile to show her appreciation.

  “You remembered.” Sophie teased.

  “Shocking, I know.”

  “Ten minutes, Abby,” a roadie yelled from outside the door.

  “You okay?” Danny asked. He stood quietly beside her, keeping watch without imposing on her routine.

  “I…” Abby studied Danny’s face, it was on the tip of her tongue, but this wasn’t something you dropped on someone and then left to do a show. They needed time when they could sit down and talk, one on one.

  “What?” He scanned the room. “We’ll be out in a minute,” he told everyone, and they shuffled out, leaving her alone with Danny.

  “Abby?” He waited for her to look at him. “Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Are you okay?” he asked again.

  “I’m all right. I wish I didn’t have to spend the next two hours on stage with that asshole, but I’ll survive. I’m just going to stay away from him. I’m a bit nervous about seeing him again.”

  “I’ll be watching. I won’t leave you for
any reason. He starts shit or makes you uncomfortable, look at me. I’ll take him down. I don’t care who’s around or what the consequences are. You know that, right?” He gave Abby a hug, and she leaned into his firm chest, but when the meaning behind his words registered with Abby, she freaked.

  “You can’t do that!”

  “Yes. I can,” Danny assured.

  “No, he’ll start trouble.”

  “Trouble? What do you mean?”

  “He—”

  A gentle knock at the door interrupted their conversation. “Guys? We have to go.” Sophie’s intrusion saved Abby from having to explain.

  Abby left with her escort and headed for the stage. She did her best to get her mind ready for the show. Usually she got some butterflies, but tonight she had the added stress of worrying about what Sean would do. She inserted her earplugs in and was met with the sounds of her band and the intro to her opening song. She took a deep breath and was about to step on stage to find her marker when someone grabbed her hand.

  She turned, and Danny was right there.

  He removed one of her earplugs, “Nothing will happen to you. He isn’t dumb enough to start anything in front of all these people. Enjoy yourself like you always do, and after the show, we’re off to the next stop.” Danny’s words took those last few butterflies away. Abby smiled, placed the plug back in her ear, and ran onto the stage.

  * * *

  “I love you! Good night!” Abby yelled and air-kissed the crowd before running off the stage and bypassing Sean completely. Ron was waiting for her with several other bodyguards. Danny wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

  “Where’s Danny?” Abby asked as she was rushed through the crowd.