“Much better.” Terrance smiled. Raquel was standing right in front of him. “My faithful assistant. I should’ve known you’d make things better.”
“Yeah, good ol’ dependable Raquel. You can always count on her to make things better,” she quipped.
Terrance’s expression turned serious. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
She laughed. “I know.” Raquel was silent for a minute as she stared at him with an intensity he’d never seen before. “I like making things better for you, Terrance,” she said, her voice soft and low.
Terrance felt goose bumps creep up his back. He didn’t understand what was going on. Raquel was just a dear friend. That’s all. So, why are you suddenly so nervous around her? he silently asked himself.
“Thank you,” he finally managed to say. The next thing Terrance knew, he had leaned in and gently kissed Raquel on the lips. At first she tensed up, but then, her body began to relax. Her eyes were closed, but Terrance could feel the intensity in her kiss.
After about a minute, Raquel must’ve caught herself because she pulled back and stared at Terrance.
Terrance didn’t know how to read her reaction, so he immediately apologized. “I…I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Raquel shook her head like she was trying to make sure she hadn’t imagined the whole thing. “Ummmm, I think we both just got carried away for a minute,” she said, backing up.
Terrance wanted to kick himself. He didn’t know where that had come from. They were friends. Shoot, he was her boss. He couldn’t believe that he’d kissed her.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
He glanced down at his hand. “Thanks for fixing me up. I think I’m going to head to bed now. I’m kind of tired.”
“Yeah, me, too.” They stood staring at each other awkwardly before Raquel headed toward the door.
“Raquel?”
“Huh?” she replied, turning around.
“Are we okay? I mean, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to…you know…”
“We’re okay. Don’t worry about it. We’re both just vulnerable right now. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” She tried to smile before making her way out of the bathroom.
Terrance wanted desperately to stop her, to tell her that he did really mean it. But instead, he just let her walk out.
As soon as she was gone, Terrance turned on the faucet in the shower. If ever he needed a cold shower, it was now.
chapter 28
“Okay, I’m straight about to lose my cool,” Savannah griped to Tyra as she slammed the phone down. “It’s been two freaking weeks and I haven’t spent any time with Terrance! If it wasn’t for me going to church, I wouldn’t see him at all. Oh, but you’d better believe little Miss Purity sees him every day!”
“Dang, girl, calm down,” Tyra said, munching on some Pringles.
Savannah paced back and forth across the living room in their apartment. “I can’t calm down. I won’t calm down. I’m sick of playing this understanding-girlfriend role.”
Tyra held up a finger. “Ummm, technically, you’re not his girlfriend.”
Savannah cut her eyes at her friend. “Shut up, Tyra.”
Tyra shrugged and went back to her Pringles.
“All I’m saying,” Savannah continued as she plopped down on the sofa, “is I’m tired of being this patient, sweet girl. It’s one thing to be understanding about that woman staying with him. But it’s another when she starts taking time away from me.”
Tyra narrowed her eyes in confusion. “You really were never understanding, Savannah. You just knew you didn’t have a choice.”
“You know, you’re really not helping.”
“I’m sorry,” Tyra said, finally turning serious. “I know you’re upset, but what good is that doing you? Shoot, you’re losing your edge anyway. If it had been me, I would’ve been over there two weeks ago. We all woulda been sitting up in his living room like one big happy family.”
Savannah threw up her hands in frustration. “So, what am I supposed to do, just show up at his front door?”
Tyra shook her head like she couldn’t believe Savannah wasn’t getting it. “Yeah. Girl, you’re resourceful. You better come up with an excuse and get your tail over there before she plays up that oh-my-man-beat-me-and-I-need-your-big-strong-arms-to-protect-me act.” Tyra shot Savannah a no-nonsense look that seemed to say, What are you waiting for, go.
“You’re right,” Savannah finally said as she stood up.
Tyra frowned. “But, I’m gonna need you to go change out of that frumpy-looking outfit and go put on something cute.”
Savannah looked down at her oversize sweatshirt and black leggings. “You got a point.” She laughed. “Let me go get cute.”
“And hurry up,” Tyra called after Savannah as she hurried to her bedroom to change.
Thirty minutes later Savannah was knocking on Terrance’s door. It was ten o’clock, so she figured he was finished writing his sermon. She had a toothbrush and change of clothes stuffed down in her large Hobo bag. Since it was already so late, she was hoping that she’d be able to spend the night.
Savannah was just about to knock again when the door swung open.
“Savannah?”
Savannah had to catch herself because she knew she had a crazy look on her face. “Raquel. I didn’t expect you to answer the door.” Raquel looked extremely comfortable with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, in a pair of lounging pants and a T-shirt that read WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
“Terrance is in his office. I was in the living room watching television and told him I’d get the door,” Raquel said, sounding chipper.
Savannah reached up and pushed the door, nearly knocking over Raquel as she made her way in. “How thoughtful of you. I just wanted to stop by and check on Terrance. I know he’s been under a lot of pressure lately, and I was worried about him.”
“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll let him know you’re here.”
Savannah spun on Raquel. “I can let him know myself.” She wasn’t trying to be downright rude, but she didn’t like how Raquel was making her feel like she was the one intruding.
“Have it your way,” Raquel said, throwing up her hands, the pleasantness gone from her voice.
Terrance must’ve heard them talking because he appeared in the living room. “Savannah? I thought I heard your voice. What are you doing here?”
Savannah glared at Raquel, then turned toward Terrance, a smile immediately filling her face. “Hi, sweetie. I just wanted to bring you some of your favorite.” She held up the Baskin-Robbins ice cream bag, glad that she’d thought at the last minute to stop. “Rainbow sherbet. I know you’ve been kind of stressed.”
Terrance didn’t look the least bit happy to see her. “You should’ve called.”
She bit her lip. “Well, I was just running to the drugstore and thought about you while I was out. I didn’t have my cell phone,” she said, silently praying that the dang thing didn’t start ringing in her purse. “I really didn’t think it would be a problem.”
Terrance sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. We were just about to head to bed.”
Savannah raised her eyebrows. “We?”
Terrance shook his head. “You know what I meant.”
Savannah folded her arms, attitude slowly settling in. “No, enlighten me.”
“I meant we, as in me in my bed and Raquel in hers. Don’t try to make this out to be something it’s not.”
Savannah glanced over at Raquel, then back at Terrance. “You know, Terrance, I can’t really tell what it is. Ever since she weaseled her way in here, you don’t seem to have time for me anymore.”
Raquel must finally have decided to step in. “Look, Savannah, I hope you don’t think I’m here to cause any problems. I was ju—”
Savannah held up her hand, cutting Raquel off. “Look, ain’t nobody talking to you. This is between me and my man.”
“Savannah, please don�
�t come over here starting any mess.” Terrance sighed. “Raquel’s been through enough.”
Savannah dramatically rolled her eyes. “Oh, forgive me. Raquel’s been through a lot. Raquel has had a hard time. I’m so glad everybody’s so doggone concerned about Raquel.”
“You know what? I think you need to leave,” Terrance said firmly.
“I need to leave? I need to leave? I’m your woman. If anybody should be leaving, it needs to be her,” Savannah spat.
“Terrance, I’m so sorry. I’ll go to a hotel,” Raquel interjected. “I never meant to cause you any problems.”
“Yeah, why don’t you go do that. The Motel 6 right down the road had a vacancy sign.”
“Savannah!” Terrance admonished. After all the praises he’d been singing about Savannah, he couldn’t believe she was over here acting a ghetto-fabulous fool. “You have no right to come into my home demanding who can and can’t stay here! I’m going to ask you again, please leave. We’ll discuss this another time.”
Savannah caught herself, realizing she was actually about to blow everything she’d worked so hard for. Suddenly, she let out a huge sob. “I’m so sorry, Terrance,” she cried as she dropped down on the sofa. “I’m just so stressed. I don’t know what to do. I came by hoping to talk to you. I’ve been going crazy.”
Terrance’s anger seemed to be evaporating. He’d never seen Savannah cry and definitely didn’t like the sight of it. “What’s wrong?”
Savannah dabbed at her eyes as she tried to taper her tears, which were flowing hard and heavy now. “I, I just don’t know how to say this,” she said, finally catching her breath.
“Say what?”
Savannah looked over at Raquel, her eyes filled with tears. “Raquel, I’m sorry for acting so ugly toward you. Can you give us a minute?”
Raquel nodded. She wore a look like she was still unsure whether to believe Savannah, but she walked upstairs.
“Terrance,” Savannah began after Raquel had left the room. She paused, like she was trying to gather her thoughts together. “I just really don’t know how to say this to you.”
“Just say it,” Terrance said, worried because he had never seen her like this.
“I’m pregnant.”
Terrance had to blink a few times to make sure he’d heard her right. “Pregnant?”
She slowly nodded. “I was on the pill but I hadn’t been taking them regularly for the past year because I hadn’t been sexually active, and it wasn’t really a priority for me. I just never thought…” She buried her head in her hands and cried.
“Pregnant?” he repeated. “Oh my God. Are…are you sure?”
Savannah nodded again as she looked up at him. “Two home tests and a blood test at the doctor’s office sure.”
Pregnant? Terrance had to sit down himself. He stared at her in utter disbelief. He was the minister of a growing, thriving church. What would he look like getting a woman pregnant and having a baby out of wedlock?
Savannah must’ve been reading his mind because she said, “I’m not asking for anything from you. I debated having an abortion, but honestly, I just couldn’t bring myself to do that. So, I decided I’m just going to move away and have my baby.”
Terrance got up and began pacing the room, trying to compose his thoughts. Abortion definitely wasn’t an option. But neither was her moving away and his pretending like he didn’t have a kid. He would never subject his child to something like that.
“Terrance, I’m soooo sorry.” Savannah’s sobs became more intense.
Terrance sat back down next to her, taking her hand. “Sssshhh, don’t cry,” he said, stroking her hair. “You didn’t do this by yourself so you’re not going to deal with it by yourself.”
She lay on his chest. She seemed comforted by his touch. Terrance, on the other hand, felt like his world was starting to fall apart.
chapter 29
Terrance stood in the doorway watching Savannah drive off. He was grateful for her leaving because after the bombshell she’d just dropped, he needed some time to get his head together.
“Are you okay?”
Terrance turned toward Raquel, who had reappeared in the entrance to the den. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”
She walked over and stood in front of him. “Terrance, I know you’re trying to do the honorable thing by giving me a place to stay, but really, I can go find a hotel, or someplace to go. I don’t want to be causing any problems.”
“You’re not causing any problems.” Terrance looked at Raquel. She was visibly concerned that her presence was creating problems. The more he looked at her, the more he knew that he had to let her know what was going on.
“Have a seat, Raquel.” Terrance put his hand in the small of her back and led her toward the sofa.
Raquel looked uneasy as she sat down. “What’s going on? I mean, you don’t have to sugarcoat the fact that you need to put me out. I said I’ll leave.”
“Nobody is putting you out.” Terrance sat down next to her on the sofa. This had to be one of the toughest things he’d ever had to do. “Although you may want to leave on your own after you hear what I have to say.”
For a brief moment, he contemplated not saying anything to Raquel about Savannah’s pregnancy. But he knew she would be crushed to find out some other way. And a part of him felt like she had a right to know.
“I’ve really enjoyed having you here these last few weeks,” Terrance began.
“I’ve enjoyed being here. But, Terrance, what are you trying to say?”
Terrance inhaled, gathering up his nerves. “You are welcome to stay as long as you need. But, well, as my very dear friend, there’s something I feel like you need to know.”
Raquel slowly blinked her eyes several times. “This doesn’t sound good. I think I know what it is. You want to make things work with Savannah. I understand and respect that.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself.
“I think I’m slowly beginning to realize that Savannah is not the woman I want to be with,” Terrance stoically said.
“What does that mean?”
Terrance shook off the daze he had found himself drifting off into. “Nothing. I’m just saying, I don’t believe in my heart that she’s the one.”
Raquel kept the skeptical look on her face. “Then what’s going on?”
Terrance squeezed her hand, then stood and walked to the other side of the room, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “I really value our friendship.”
Raquel stood and followed him across the room. “So do I. However, I feel like there’s a but coming,” she said to his back.
Terrance let out a long sigh. “But…”
“Just spit it out, Terrance.” Raquel twisted her hands together nervously. “This is killing me. Just say what you have to say.”
Terrance turned back to face Raquel, inhaled, then said, “Savannah is pregnant.”
Raquel’s eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open.
“I don’t know how it happened.” Terrance rushed his words out. “I mean, I know, but this is something I never in my wildest dream ever imagined.”
Raquel eased back down on the sofa. She shook her head from side to side. “Wow. I don’t believe this. Savannah’s pregnant.”
“It was a mistake,” Terrance said desperately. He was surprised that he felt the need to explain, or rather justify himself. Maybe it was the look of pain that shot through her eyes just now. Or maybe it was the unspoken feelings that seemed to be lingering between them.
Tears began to form in Raquel’s eyes. “Let me guess. She’s pregnant and you have to do what’s right?”
“I do. I know people have babies out of wedlock all the time these days. But I can’t do that. I have to marry her.” He hadn’t even discussed marriage with Savannah, but if she was carrying his child, that’s the only option he had.
Raquel nodded knowingly. “Of course.” She stood. “I wish you and…” She paused to compose herself. “I wish you
and Savannah the best.” She started walking toward the guest bedroom. “Give me a couple of hours and I can have my stuff packed and out of here.”
Terrance reached out and grabbed her arm. “Raquel, I told you, you don’t have to leave.”
Raquel snatched her arm away and flinched. She looked like she was shaking as she fought back tears. “No, I need to leave,” she calmly said.
Terrance stepped closer to her. “Please don’t leave like this,” he whispered.
Raquel glared at him, tears filling her eyes. “What would you suggest I do, Terrance? Do you want me to break out the cigars? Do you want me to plan the baby shower?” She raised her voice. “One minute you’re telling me you don’t think she’s the one. The next, you’re talking about marrying her. Am I supposed to be happy about this?”
Terrance was taken aback by her outburst. He looked at her in shock. “I…I’m sorry.”
She closed her eyes and inhaled. “No, I’m sorry,” she said once she opened her eyes back up. “It’s just…I was hoping…I thought…” The tears she had been fighting back came pouring out. “I don’t know what I thought.”
Terrance reached out and took her in his arms. At first, Raquel resisted, but then as the sobs overcame her, she let her body fall limp in his embrace. As he hugged her tightly, Terrance couldn’t help but feel like his heart was breaking in a million little pieces, and he began to shed some tears of his own.
chapter 30
Terrance could barely make it through his sermon today, especially with Savannah sitting in the front row, in a short, lavender two-piece suit and matching hat, beaming like she’d been a first lady for all of her life.
He couldn’t get Raquel’s look of disappointment out of his head. It had haunted him all night. He had convinced her that it was too late to leave last night, so she’d gone to bed, but she was up and gone by the time he’d awakened. He had taken comfort that her stuff was still there. While he was trying to do right by Savannah, he didn’t want to just leave Raquel stuck out.
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