by J. L. Murray
“I've never even seen Loki,” said Eleni.
“And yet, you are destined to die for him.”
“I thought destiny was ruined,” said Eleni.
“A moment ago you were asking for death,” said Danai. “How is this any different?”
“I asked why someone didn't kill me,” said Eleni. “But you are asking me to fix everything and then die. Can I not save everything and live?”
Danai flickered for a moment, but didn't disappear. “Perhaps you will find a way to disentangle yourself. I know very little of what the future holds. But you must accept this possibility. Do you remember what the Sirin told you?”
“How do you know about that?” said Eleni.
“I was there.”
Eleni frowned. She heard voices in the distance.
“Love would be a mistake,” said Danai. “Love is for humans. The gods are for justice. For vengeance. For destruction. For balance. For summer and winter and the sun and the moon. Leave love for the mortals, they have so little else.”
“What if I can't help it?” said Eleni, not meeting her eyes.
“Then you must fight it,” said Danai. “Alaunus is a gentle god. Would you have him burn with you?”
“No,” said Eleni.
“Then you have to ignore the way you feel. Focus on the end. Turn your love to anger to stop Loki. It is the only way you will succeed.”
Danai flickered again. “Wait,” said Eleni. “How do I find you?”
Danai smiled for the first time. “You've already found me.” With a flicker and a crack she was gone again. Eleni was alone in the emptiness. Her sob turned to an echo and she didn't try to stop it this time. The sob was still in her throat when she opened her eyes, closing them immediately against the late afternoon light.
“She is awake,” she heard a male voice say. One of the Reivers maybe. Shielding her eyes with her hand, Eleni raised her eyelids. With her other hand she wiped at the tears that hadn't evaporated off her cheeks. She sat up slowly. Her tent was gone and a perfect circle of black surrounded her, just wider than her tent had been. Soot covered her body where her dress had burned off. She groaned. She loved that dress.
There was a crowd of people standing by the fire pit. They were all looking at her. Magda pushed her way through them and came hobbling toward her.
“I'm fine,” said Eleni, pushing the old woman's probing hands away.
“You're fine?” said Magda. “You are not fine. You just burst into flames.” Her white eye caught the light. She seemed even older than usual. Eleni looked away.
“What does your raven see?” said Eleni. “Have they headed toward us yet?”
Magda hesitated. “I don't know.”
“You don't know?”
“Loki killed Mati.” Magda's good eye, usually as hard as iron, teared up for a moment, but she stopped it with a scowl. “He killed him when I was inside Mati. He knew I was there.”
“So,” said Eleni, “he could be right outside camp and we wouldn't know.”
“You sound very much like Zaric,” said Magda, suddenly curious.
“I am Zaric,” said Eleni.
Magda studied Eleni for a moment. “He won't come here,” she said.
“How can you be sure?”
“He told me,” said Magda. “He lies in wait. A beast with his mouth open wide to swallow us all.”
“So we are marching to our deaths,” said Eleni, making her face emotionless.
Magda looked at Eleni for a long moment. “Yes,” she said finally. “Most of you will probably die. Maybe even you.”
“We should go now.”
Fin joined Magda, looking at Eleni with concern. His arm was swaddled in cloth. Eleni couldn't look at him. Not even to apologize for hurting him. It hurt to look at him. She didn't quite understand the pain she felt in her chest, the weakness in her limbs as she felt his eyes on her, but she knew it wouldn't help stop Loki.
“Eleni, you should rest,” said Fin.
Eleni stood up, feeling the wind against her bare skin. “I've already rested,” she said coldly, avoiding his eyes. “It's time to fight. Loki must be stopped.”
“Is this the right way?” Fin said. “Perhaps we should just get you away. All the time it took us to find you. Loki could kill you tonight.”
“We're wasting time,” said Eleni.
“You could die, Eleni.” Fin grasped her shoulders and squeezed them. “Do you understand that? We could all die.”
“I have no choice,” Eleni said softly. “I don't get to walk away from this. Not ever. I'll never be a goddess on a peaceful green isle, Fin. It will never end well for me.”
“You don't know that.” Fin loosened his grasp and dropped his arms. “No one knows what will happen. You can be whatever you want. You're not the girl in the iron box any longer.”
“It's just another iron box,” said Eleni, making her face hard. “You can leave if you wish. You have that choice. But I can't.”
“Why are you saying all this? What happened to you?”
“Nothing,” said Eleni. She took a step back. It felt like dying all over again. Only cold this time. As cold as she had felt the first time she had met Fin and he had given her his coat. Fin shook his head.
“I thought...” he trailed off. His jaw clenched. He looked at Eleni, his eyes searching.
“I'm sorry,” she said, her voice almost inaudible, her eyes aimed at the ground.
Fin shook his head again and walked away without another word. She heard a muffled whoop from the forest. The gods were ready. Eleni looked at Magda. “It is just another iron box, isn't it, old woman?”
“Watch your tongue with me, girl.”
“You didn't bring me here to find Anja. Or to keep me safe.”
“What's happened to you?” Magda said. “Something more than memories. I can see it. What do you know?”
Eleni snorted. “A Fate needs to ask me?”
Magda's good eye opened in surprise. “You've seen something. What is it?”
Eleni pulled her arm roughly from Magda's grasp. “Take care of the women and children. Those of us that can fight are going to do just that.” Eleni turned to walk away but looked back at the startled old woman. She reached behind her neck and untied the strap around her neck. Oddly she felt even more naked without the constant buzzing at her chest. She held out the necklace to Magda, the light inside flickering and gyrating against the clear orb. “This should protect you,” said Eleni. She dropped it into Magda's hand.
“We don't even know what this does,” said Magda.
“I'm still alive, aren't I?” said Eleni. “Despite all your efforts.”
She felt Magda watching her as she walked away.
“Eleni!” said a female voice. Eleni turned to see Iren running toward her with something in her arms. “I brought you some new clothes,” the girl panted, holding up a pouch. “And some food to take with you.”
“The dress will just be ruined,” said Eleni. “And I have no need of the food.” She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “I may not be out there long enough to eat.”
“Please,” Iren said as Eleni turned to go. “Wear the dress at least. I made it myself. It would make me feel like I was there if you wore something of mine.”
Eleni glared down at the girl. “Why would you want to be there?”
Iren shrugged nervously. “To be a part of something. To help. To feel like I'm doing something good.”
“If you want to do something good, leave this place,” said Eleni. “Go find someone to love who loves you back. Life is too precious and too short to waste away with Reivers. Or with gods for that matter. Stop trying to be like me.” Eleni took the dress out of Iren's hands and shoved it over her head, pulling it down roughly over her body. “Be happy to be mortal, girl. You have so few worries.”
Eleni walked toward the sound of war cries in the forest, ignoring the wide-eyed stares of the women huddled around the fire as she walked by. Loki h
ad to die. She knew it was true. He would never stop. But if she had to die, too, she didn't want to leave anyone with pain in their chests that felt like darkness so black no light would ever fill it. She didn't want anyone to feel the way she felt now. Only a few weeks ago she felt nothing for anyone. If only she could feel that way again. That Eleni wouldn't have minded barreling toward death and destiny.
Whatever destiny was. Not even the Fates seemed to know.
Chapter Seventeen
Fin watched Eleni striding toward them. She was clothed now. The setting sun lit her up, making it appear that she was on fire once more. The dress she wore was in the Reiver style, but had been dyed a deep, dark, blood red. Her hair fell wild around her, an even brighter red than the dress. There was a frightening beauty to her. Fin had wanted to protect her, despite fearing her power, but her behavior since waking up had changed all that. After all the time they had spent together, he had felt her changing, softening, opening up, until she awakened. Now she was even more hard and cold than when he had met her. What had happened to her? He knew that she remembered the way she was before. She now had the memories and knowledge of Zaric that had been locked up tight. But even more, she talked like someone willingly walking toward her death. Not as a woman realizing her power and eager to see the world, as she had been in the forest. He would find out. She would talk to him if he could get her alone, she always did, even when he hadn't expected it.
“Why are there so few?” said Eleni. She was looking at her new-found brothers and sisters, her gaze lingering on each of them. Her eyes slid past Fin without stopping.
“Dead, mostly,” said Diza, standing and shouldering her bow. “One by one they disappeared. Some may have run, but I believe most of them are probably dead, never to reawaken again.”
“Perun is missing,” boomed Radegast, waving toward the mountains behind her. “I have seen his bolts but he does not come.”
“Perun is afraid to come,” said Eleni. “He killed me. And he is the first god-eater.”
The gods were silent, exchanging glances. The Reivers had stepped back when Eleni approached. Either out of fear or respect, they were muttering amongst themselves, unaware of the words the gods were exchanging.
“We must kill him, then,” said Veles. “He cannot live as he is after this atrocious act. He must be reborn.”
“Perun is not important right now,” said Eleni. “Loki must be stopped. He will bring Ragnarok.”
“Ragnarok?” said Lada. “Are you sure?”
“How do you know?” wheezed Marowit, his eyes flickering around almost nervously. Eleni couldn't rest her eyes on him. She got an uncomfortable knot in her stomach when she looked at him.
“I know,” said Eleni.
“What does he need to be here for, then?” said Diza. “Why us? Certainly there are other gods, stronger gods he could take. He's been in that village for days from what Magda says. Why? What is so important?” Every eye fell on Eleni, who shifted uncomfortably.
“He is here, that is all we know,” said Eleni. “Where is Chernobog? Dead?”
“He lives,” said Radegast. “He just did not come.”
“Does he not fear the Fates?” said Eleni. “They won't be apart forever.” Fin thought he saw her tense at the words. He wished he could understand her. She was more like Zaric now than Eleni.
Radegast snorted. “He fears no one. He stays in the underworld. No one has seen him for many years. He does not emerge. The Fates have no power in his realm. He has the power of Odin where he is.”
“He is only one,” said Lada. “We are many. Why do we not just take him?”
“He has been eating the souls of the gods,” said Fin.
Eleni finally looked at him, flinching as she did so. He met her gaze and she looked away. Fin frowned, but hid the pain that was surely on his face. “He will be more powerful than any god we have seen. More powerful than Odin. More powerful than the great gods of the South. Maybe he wants Eleni, or maybe he wants to kill us all and devour us. It doesn't matter. Eleni is right, we have to fight him. If he brings Ragnarok, more than the gods will die. Mortals, trees, animals, everything. And Loki will be the only god left to rule. I don't know how he would do such a thing, but if Eleni says it's so, it's so.”
Eleni's eyes were on him again. She nodded and there was an almost-smile on her face just for a fleeting moment. Then it was gone and she was looking at the others. “If this is what we have, then we should go now, but quietly. I will ride ahead on Fin's horse.”
“No, you won't,” said Fin.
Eleni looked at him, her eyebrows raised in surprise. “You will not let me ride your horse?”
“I'll let you ride her,” said Fin. “But Epona is no ordinary horse. She won't let just anyone ride her. I'll have to ride with you. Otherwise she'll throw you and trample you first chance she gets. Besides, you've never ridden a horse, have you?”
Eleni sniffed. “Not in this life.”
“You might be a little rusty.” Veles laughed, but stopped when Eleni looked at him icily.
“Fin and I will ride ahead,” she said. “You will all head toward the village with care. Meet us just outside of the field in front of the village. There is a small clearing by a stream. You will hear it right away; it runs fast. Fin and I will meet you there and we will plan our attack.”
“Loki will feel us coming,” said Diza. “If he's as powerful as you say, he's going to know.”
“We have no other choice,” said Eleni. The gods were silent. The Reivers snickered amongst themselves a ways off in the forest.
“What about the women?” said Fin. “They need protection.”
“I've left Magda and the necklace,” said Eleni.
“Neither one of those things will stop the dark creatures.”
Eleni frowned. “Marowit, you command the darks, do you not?”
“They obey me when I bid them to,” said Marowit warily. Fin suppressed a shiver. The diminutive god had always felt slimy and disgraceful to him.
“You will stay here,” said Eleni.
“I will do no such thing,” said Marowit. “I am no coward.”
“Someone has to protect the Fate,” said Lada. “She's the only one we have.”
“She cannot die,” Marowit sneered. “She doesn't need protection.”
“Just like the other two that are missing?” said Fin. “Is there any doubt that they were led to disappear?”
“If they stay disappeared, it might not be so bad.”
“You will stay here and protect Magda,” said Eleni. “And the women and children.” Eleni's eyes glinted, as though flame had flickered there, but it was gone in an instant. Marowit shut his mouth. He stood up and walked toward the village, casting an angry look at Eleni as he went.
“He never was good in a fight anyway,” said Radegast. “Always with those dark things.” He shuddered.
“We will not speak of it. It is time to go.” Eleni looked at Fin. “We will do this. We will kill him. We're strong enough together.”
Before the moon was high in the sky, the wolf joined them, loping alongside the horse. Oddly, though Fin prepared for the horse to run in terror, Epona didn't seem bothered by the wolf. Behind him, Eleni's tight grip around his waist relaxed somewhat. He thought the wolf brought her comfort. He couldn't pretend to know what was bothering her, or even begin to understand the way her mind worked, but Fin knew that she loved that animal as he had loved his siblings. It had always been all that she had.
They were halfway to the village, Epona beginning to froth at their mad pace, when Fin felt Eleni's body go rigid behind him. It had happened a few times along the way, but she had muttered apologies every time it happened. But this time was different. She went stiff as a stone. He heard her gasp, such a soft sound, and so out of place coming from her. Her grasp loosened around his waist and suddenly she wasn't there any more. Fin was off the horse before she had even stopped and was down on his knees next to Eleni. Her eyes wer
e wide and her arms spread out across the ground. She arched her back as though an energy were coursing through her.
“Eleni?” said Fin. Twin flames burst through her eyes, rising up like small volcanoes. Then she went limp again, her eyelids sliding shut. Fin looked down at his bandaged arm. It still throbbed, though Magda had mostly healed him with some sort of congealed, foul-smelling liquid she had with her. He looked at Eleni. Her face had gone as gray as Marowit's. It didn't matter if he got hurt. He lifted Eleni's head gingerly and cradled it in his lap. She looked so small, so delicate lying there like this. He touched her face. It was hot, though not hot enough to burn him. The wolf prodded her hand with a nose. The animal looked at Fin and whined. Fin frowned as the wolf's eyes stared at him. They were golden, but not like a regular wolf. They seemed to shine in a familiar way.
Eleni's eyes shot open so quickly it surprised Fin and he looked away from the wolf. Eleni sat up, looking around her like she didn't understand where she was. She turned and saw him. “Fin? What happened?” She touched her belly just below her ribs, frowning. “I feel very strange.”
“Ah,” said Fin, understanding. He smiled. “You scared me. I thought you were hurt. Or worse.”
“What is it then?”
“It's power.” Fin stood up, wiping his hands on his trousers. “Someone is worshiping you.”
“Why?”
“The priest from the forest,” said Fin. He bent down, offering his hand. She took it and Fin pulled her up off the ground. She was light, like a bird. She had her pale eyes fixed on him and he couldn't look away.
“What about him?” said Eleni.
Fin frowned and tore his gaze away. He cleared his throat and let go of her hand. He took a step back. “He probably found his traveling companions, or they returned to their village. What you're feeling now is what gods live and die for.”
“But not you,” said Eleni. He could feel her looking at him.
“No,” said Fin. “Not me.” He turned and patted Epona's neck. She had found a patch of clover. Fin bent over and put his hand on the small sprouts. They shot up between his fingers causing the horse to knicker happily as she bent her head to eat them. Fin stood up.