by B. N. Toler
“You think she wouldn’t move to New York because of Edie?”
He shakes his head and sips his coffee again. “I think she’d be miserable without Edie. Edie would be miserable without her. What other family do they have? They have each other, and that’s it. And Joey,” he adds.
“My uncle will kill me if I quit.” I sigh.
“And the baby? How will he take that?” John asks. I lean forward and put my forearms on the table, holding my mug between my hands. It was only a few weeks ago I assured him that I was always safe with every woman, but not with Nikki. Shaking my head, I realize it had to be when we had sex in the bathtub. That was the only time I was inside her unprotected.
“Probably not well,” I reply and let out a small snort. “But it is what it is. He’ll get over it.”
“Well Edie and I are here . . . for both of you. Whatever you guys need.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it. Just keep an eye on her while I’m gone, please. I hate that I have to leave her, but I have to get back.”
“She’s family. We always look out for family.”
I refuse to look at Edie after I’ve explain what’s transpired between Parker and I in the last twenty-four hours. I know her face is about to split in two; she’s grinning so hard.
“Parker has impressed me,” she finally says. “And so have you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you,” she confirms. Standing from her seat at my kitchen table, she moves beside me at the counter. “Nikki Reese settling down,” she chuckles.
“We’re seeing how it goes,” I clarify. “That hardly constitutes as settling down.” Moving to the fridge, I grab two Cokes and head back to the table. Edie follows. I know, I know, I know. I shouldn’t drink Coke, I remind myself. But one a day . . . I have to have it. I have to or I’ll die. Maybe not die, but something close to it. Or I’ll make everyone around me wish I would. Or wish they would.
“But that’s a huge step.” Edie beams.
“It’s . . . something,” I reply.
“So what’s the plan?”
“There isn’t one at the moment,” I snort. “I’ll have to move. My father has ultimately said unless I come crawling back to him and apologize, he won’t help me. So that means I have to move and get a new car.”
“Move where?” Edie asks, panicked. “Not to New York?” I smile a little. The thought of me moving so far away scares her.
“No, I don’t want to live in New York.”
“Does Parker know that?”
“No,” I answer honestly before sipping my Coke.
“Do you think he’ll move here?”
“I have no idea,” I sigh. “This is why I know things won’t work out.”
“You don’t know that,” she says. “Look at me and Suit.”
Well, she has a point. “But that’s different. You literally couldn’t leave Holly Springs.”
“I could’ve sold the farm,” she argues.
“No. You couldn’t have. That farm is your birth right. It’s embedded in your DNA. I’m pretty sure your heart would stop beating without it.”
Edie smirks and nods once in thought. “I worry about that, ya know?”
“About what?” I ask, and my brows crease.
“Well, I wanted to be with Suit. I was so miserable when he left. I mean, my insides ached I missed him so bad. But if I had given up the farm . . . I would’ve been miserable, too.”
I lean forward and pat her hand. “But he came back and now you have it all. You have everything you deserve, Edie.”
“Yes, I do,” she agrees. “But what about Suit? He gave up his dream for me. He’ll never admit it, I know it, but I know deep down he’ll always wonder . . . what-if?”
This is something she worried about as she fell in love with John. When the discussion of them making a go of it together would come up, she’d always shut the door on it. I thought she was past it, but I can see now she’s not.
“Edie, I think we all live with what-ifs. I’m sure he does, that’s natural. But I truly believe John hasn’t and never will have any regrets about coming back here.”
She shakes her head and sits up straighter in her chair. “I’m glad you and Parker are going to try and make a go of it. Just please, Nikki, please . . .” she takes my hand, “really try. Don’t freak out. Not every man will disappoint you like your father. Parker may mess up, but try and give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“I will,” I promise with a hesitant smile.
“And you’re moving in with us,” she adds as she stands.
“What?” I ask, perplexed. “No. I can’t do that.”
“Yes, you can,” she insists. “It will only be temporary. Until you and Parker figure out what it is you want to do. Screw your father.”
“Edie, I—”
“Start packing. I can get Joey and Dierk to come help us move your stuff.”
“Shit,” I huff. Now I’m an imposition moving in with my best friend and her soon-to-be husband. The thought has me reeling. What the hell am I going to do now? Pageants are gone. My father’s money is gone. How am I going to make money?
“Nikki,” Edie calls, jerking my attention to her. “Stop it.”
“Stop what?” I play dumb.
“We will figure it out. Right now, focus on getting your shit packed, okay?”
“Okay,” I reluctantly agree. Edie James is a true softy, but she can be a hard-ass when she wants to be.
When I return to the apartment, Nikki is in her room, violin in hand. The floor is covered with various items; shoe boxes, clothes, and other random things.
“What’s all this?”
“Well . . .” Nikki sighs as if even the thought of explaining whatever it is, is exhausting. “I’m moving in with Edie for the time being until I figure out what I’m going to do.”
I let out my own sigh. Now is when shit gets complicated. I’m dreading this conversation. Nikki is already hesitant about giving us a try. Now, I’m really going to push her to her limits.
“So coming to New York with me . . .” Shit. How do I want to word this question?
“Isn’t an option,” she answers quickly. I can’t deny I’m somewhat annoyed. She’s not even going to consider it. My job is in New York. I need it to support me and her and our child. She must pick up on my aggravation as she adds, “We have time, Parker.”
Taking a seat beside her on the bed, I run a hand through my hair. “We do,” I agree. “But is moving to New York something you think you’d consider in the future?”
“Honestly . . .” she shrugs, “I don’t know.”
When I was younger and my mother would want to have a serious discussion with me, one that might upset me or make me angry, she’d always hold my hand while we spoke. And if I tried to get up and leave, she’d squeeze my hand and tell me we were going to finish. It probably sounds stupid, but looking back, I get what she was trying to do. Holding someone’s hand is a comfort, a way of saying I’m here. We’re in this together.
So I take Nikki’s small hand in mine and hold it. “You do know my job is in New York,” I tell her calmly.
“And that is why I know this will never work,” she replies and moves to stand, but I squeeze her hand and prevent her from leaving her seat. The squeeze isn’t hurtful, it’s firm, letting her know I intend to keep her beside me until we figure this out.
“Nikki. You promised me you’d try. If you throw in the towel before we’ve even started, can you honestly say you’ve tried?”
She moves the violin to the floor with her free hand and pivots in her seat so she’s facing me. Then, she shocks the hell out of me. She takes my other hand and squeezes it. I know she has no idea what she’s just done or how it’s affected me, but something inside of me snaps. I’ve been crazy about her since the moment I met her. But here, right now, it’s like she gave me a sign. A big, bright neon sign that says, ‘She’s The One.’
“You’re right,” she says.
Her brows furrow as if she’s annoyed. “You’re mad because I’m moving in with John and Edie?”
“I just wish you would’ve discussed it with me first.”
“It’s only temporary, Parker,” she argues.
“I understand that. I just mean, we have to start thinking of us as a unit, not as individuals. Decisions I make might impact you and you have a right to have a say in those decisions. And vice versa.”
I stare at her; waiting for her reaction. Her blonde hair is in this side braid, hanging over her shoulder, and she’s wearing these little boy shorts with a pink tank top. She looks sexy as fuck, but I remind myself to keep focused. I have to fly out tonight and we have to at least have an idea of what we’re working toward. I hate to leave her. And if she won’t come to New York then there’s only one option.
“I’ll start looking for a job here,” I tell her.
Her eyebrows lift slightly in surprise. “Really?”
“It may take me a while, but I’m sure I can find something.” What I’ll find, I have no idea. But my woman and my baby are here and that’s where I need to be.
“Parker . . .”
“Don’t,” I warn. I squeeze her hands again to get her attention. When her eyes meet mine, I add, “We have to meet in the middle. I’m willing to sacrifice this for us. That’s what you mean to me. But there may come a day when you have to sacrifice . . . compromise, or meet me in the middle. Does that make sense?”
“Yes,” she replies softly and smiles a little. “I can’t believe you’d give up your job and move here for me.”
“You’re worth that and more, Nikki. I have to fly out tonight, but I’ll start looking. I won’t give notice until I’ve found something. I want you and Edie to start house hunting. We can rent for a year if you’d like to, but find us a place we can at least bring the baby home to after it’s born.”
She nods once, and as her eyes dart away from mine, I catch a hint of panic in them. So I squeeze her hands again, drawing her back to me. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She opens her mouth and quickly shuts it, shaking her head.
“What?” I ask.
“I just need to find something for me. Ya know. I want to be able to take care of myself.”
I nod in understanding. With pageants gone . . . at least for the moment, she wants something to keep her busy, help her make money. My mind is blank on what that something would be until I let my gaze fall to the floor and spot her violin.
“Do you play anything other than the violin?”
“I play the piano, but’s it’s been a while. Why?”
“When you find our new house, maybe there could be a music room. Have you thought about teaching?”
Her eyes widen as the idea sinks in. Then she nods. “Maybe. I never thought about teaching music, but I’m good at it.”
“It’s something you love to do and you’re great at it,” I encourage. She smiles with my words and her blue eyes stare at mine; a softness to them.
“You’re quite the man, Parker Hayes,” she tells me. Before I can respond, she leans in and kisses me, her body moving up and pushing me back on the bed until she’s straddling me. Her mouth leaves mine as she sits up and begins unbuttoning my shirt, a smile curving on her soft lips. “And you’re my man now,” she proclaims with a sexy purr. My chest tightens, as does the grip my hands have on her tiny waist. She just claimed me.
Fuck me.
“That means I can do anything I want to you.” She leans down and bites my shoulder, causing me to growl.
“Only if I let you, Nicole,” I tell her. If she wants to take control, I’ll let her. But she needs to understand it’s me that decides if she gets that control or not.
Trailing kisses from my shoulder up to my neck, she whispers, “Please. Please let me make you feel good,” she begs.
Permission granted.
And for the next hour, Nikki Reese takes her time showing me exactly how good she is at being in control.
“Is there a dead body in this thing, or what?” Joey grunts as he and Parker carry my shoe trunk inside Edie and John’s house.
“Be careful with that,” I warn. “That trunk is filled with my shoes.”
“This is all shoes?” Joey asks, and his eyes widen in disbelief.
I only brought what I thought was a necessity. Most of my belongings will have to go in storage until Parker and I find a place. We decided to move the essentials today and we’ll move the rest some time later this week. Hopefully Dierk will be able to help me out.
“Might be time to get rid of some of these,” Parker manages between breaths as they shimmy the large wooden box through the front doorframe.
“What?” I gasp in mock horror. “Get rid of my babies? Never!”
Edie laughs from where she stands in the kitchen sipping a glass of water. She came up from the stables just to check in. “I don’t think I’ve owned as many shoes in my entire life as you have in that box.”
“That’s because you borrow all of mine,” I point out.
“More like you force me to wear them,” she debates.
“True,” I concede.
“Well, if we have a girl she’ll have plenty of mommy’s dress up clothes to wear.” Parker half laughs.
My stomach clenches with his words as I watch Joey’s face twist in confusion. “If you have a girl?” he asks, looking back at me.
Cutting my gaze to Parker, I don’t bother trying to hide my anger. He just outed me to Joey. There’s an apology in his eyes. He didn’t mean to do it. But he did, and I’m pissed. I hadn’t told anyone other than Edie, Parker, and my father about the baby. I assumed John knew, but that was a given. When I’d told Joey I needed help moving, I simply explained my father and I were on the outs. Joey, being the beautiful, simple soul he is, didn’t ask why. He just said, “Should I come now?” That’s why I love him dearly. He’s the friend that’s always there.
Looking to Edie, I take in her thoughtful expression; she’s biting her lip as she watches me in sympathy. She knows exactly what just happened.
Parker keeps moving, forcing Joey to continue on to the guest room as they lug my trunk.
“I guess the cat’s out of the bag now,” Edie sighs as she sets her glass in the sink and heads toward me as I stand frozen in place. “You were going to have to tell him eventually.”
“I know that, but not in this way,” I grumble and walk around the sofa, flopping down on it.
“I have to get back down to the track. Trish has to leave for a doctor’s appointment soon.” Trish is one of Edie’s employees. I nod once in understanding as Edie squeezes my shoulder. “It’s Joey. The only thing that will happen is he’ll be even more protective of you.” She tries to reassure me. Then she leaves. The sound of Joey and Parker’s voices drift through the house, but I can’t make out what they’re saying to one another. Just as I’m about to get up and try to sneak down the hallway to eavesdrop, I hear heavy footsteps so I remain seated.
Joey rounds the couch and kneels down in front of me. His shaggy hair sticks out from under his baseball cap as his brown eyes stare up at me. He inhales a long breath and lets it out through his nose. “You need anything . . . anything at all, I’m here for you. You got it?”
I want to cry. Fucking Joey. Always the sweetheart. “Got it,” I manage. Then he stands, leans down, and kisses the top of my head before he roughs my hair, making me squeal in fake protest. A minute later, he’s gone without another word.
“I’m sorry,” Parker begins, his hands shoved in his pockets. From his sullen expression, I truly believe he is sorry. “You guys are so fucking tight-knit here . . . I thought he knew. I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him, my anger quickly fading. When I glance over at the clock set on the mantel abov
e Edie’s fireplace, I stand. “We should get going.” There’s no point in crying about spilled milk, as Daddy Bud used to say. Joey knows now. So what? I’m not going to waste my last little bit of time with Parker being pissed. I should’ve known Joey wouldn’t have judged me like my father did.
“I hate leaving you right now,” he murmurs against my neck.
“I hate that you have to go,” I admit, squeezing and pressing him to me. His arms tighten around me and he pulls in a long breath. That’s when I realize he’s tensing. “Are you okay?”
“Honestly,” he sighs. “I’m worried if I leave you, you’ll start thinking . . . then you’ll start overthinking. Then you’ll say we can’t work out. And I know it’s early. I know we have a shit-ton of things to figure out, but . . . I want this to work out.” His hands squeeze my arms in emphasis. “I want you.”
And there it went. My heart just melted and dribbled to the floor with his admission. When I pull back from him, his gaze hones in on mine and I try to hide the tears threatening to break free and give him a reassuring smile. “I promise, Parker. I’ll try, for us.” Then placing a hand over my belly, I add, “For all of us.”
Am I scared? Hell motherfucking yes, I’m scared. But I know all too well what it is to grow up with a parent missing in action. It sucks. My child deserves better. Maybe I wouldn’t just jump into this thing with Parker like I have if he was some kind of deadbeat, but he’s not. He’s amazing. He’s more than amazing. He’s more than I deserve. And . . . he makes me happy. He makes me feel like everything really will be okay.
Taking his finger, he tilts my chin up and gives me a chaste kiss. “You’re going to fall so deeply in love with me. You won’t really see it happening. One day, you’ll just wake up and you’ll be neck-deep in it.”
“Is that so?” I tease. “No doubt you’ll fall first,” I singsong as I head to the door to grab my purse from the hook. “If you haven’t already,” I add.
“It’s too easy not to,” Parker says, from across the room. My chest tightens. “You were meant for me to fall for. You’ll see.” And with that, he makes his way across the room and leads me out the door.