The Anchor

by B. N. Toler

  I grab the dish towel that’s next to the sink and dry my hands before turning to face him. His dark eyes meet mine and I reach up and cup his cheek. “Thank you.”

  He smirks. “For what?”

  “For not giving up on me. On us.”

  Leaning down, he kisses me softly. “Can I move in with you?”

  I smile against his lips. “I don’t know if we’re ready for that,” I tease. “These things should happen in a certain order.”

  Pulling back, he narrows his eyes at me. “What order is that?”

  “Dating, then maybe sex, a little more dating and sex, then maybe living together, then marriage, then babies, and so on.”

  “Hmm. We definitely did a few things out of order,” he chuckles.

  Straightening his tie, I gaze up at him and say, “You belong with me, by me, and in my bed. I love you, Parker. Come home.”

  His features go soft as his dark eyes gaze lovingly upon me. Then he whispers, “Fucking beautiful.”

  I won’t admit it to him because his head is already so big, inflated with ego, but Parker was right. Coming to the office helps me keep my mind focused on work. I’m alone in my shop, and if anyone saw me or heard me they’d think I was a mad lady talking to myself, but I talk to our little guy all day.

  “I’m going to teach you how to play the piano and maybe the violin, if you want to learn. I kind of hated it,” I laugh. “Everything is going to be okay, little guy. It has to be.”

  Later on, I’m setting up a display case with my crowns, sashes, and photos of me from my pageants throughout the years and I grin. I’m holding a framed photo of when I was crowned Miss Holly Springs, and gazing at a smiling me. I looked great. My body was thin and I looked killer in the dress Pearl made for me. It was an amazing day; the kind of day I’ve been fixated on since I found out I was pregnant. I thought losing this meant losing everything. But now it all seems so unimportant.

  “You know, little guy, you can leave me as one giant stretch mark if you just come into this world healthy. Just please be okay,” I beg him softly. A strong jolt in my lower belly makes me lurch a little. For the last few weeks I’ve felt things, but it’s never been strong enough for me to discern if it was the baby moving or just . . . well, gas. But this time, I have no doubt. I just felt my son kick for the first time. I’m laughing as I run to my phone, which I left on my folding table desk.

  I just felt him kick! I text Parker.

  “Thanks for making me smile, little guy,” I tell my son after setting my phone down, before getting back to work and feeling a little brighter.

  Parker calls me later and asks me for every little detail about the kick, which I laugh at because . . . what details can I give? He tells me he’s stuck at his job working late, meeting some clients who couldn’t come in until after work hours. So around five I decide to take him dinner. If he’s working late, he needs to eat. I swing by a fast food joint near his office and grab us both some dinner. I figure the baby deserves some guilty pleasure food after the week we’ve had. The mouthwatering burger I bought for me to eat is totally for him. I’m loving that way.

  Parker’s office building is about four floors in height; his firm is on the top floor. I ride the elevator up, holding his food, wondering if I should have called first. His clients might be in with him. Who will I give this food to?

  When I reach the fourth floor, I step off and look around. The whole floor is eerily quiet, everyone having gone home for the evening. I have no idea where his office is so I go left. There’s a light on in one of the offices at the end of the hall and I can make out voices. I’m halfway to the office when Parker exits it, followed by a very pretty woman dressed to kill in a fitted black dress with black pumps. Her dark hair is twisted up and she has long, black lashes. They almost seem fake, but I can tell they’re not. I’ve worn fake lashes a few times in my day. He’s holding his jacket and briefcase but she seems to be standing in front of him, keeping him in place.

  “I’m going across the street for a drink. You wanna join me?” the brunette asks and a bubbling surge of jealousy hits me. Who the hell is this chick?

  “Not much of a drinker,” Parker replies, which is a lie.

  “You haven’t eaten dinner. They have great food,” she adds. I purse my lips with annoyance. Okay, nothing has really happened or been said that should raise my hackles with jealousy, but I’ve had enough. The fact that I’m pregnant and feeling ugly and she’s pretty and talking to my man is enough of an excuse.

  “I took care of that,” I interrupt, holding up my greasy bag as I walk toward them. Parker’s eyes snap to me and he smiles and even though I’m trying to act tough and lay my claim to him in front of this desperate woman, that smile of his gets to me. It’s genuine. I’ve come a long way. After the other night, I no longer doubt his devotion to me, and I smile back.

  “Baby mama,” Parker beams and I roll my eyes.

  “Baby daddy,” I beam back.

  “Oh, hello,” the brunette says, as she turns to me. “I’m Leanne.”

  “I’m baby mama,” I jest as I reach out a hand to shake hers. “Nikki.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  “You brought me food, woman,” Parker grumbles and I hand him the bag as he leans down and kisses me. When he pulls away, I’m surprised to see Leanne still standing there, watching us. That’s weird. She’s weird.

  “You’re free to go, Leanne. Have a nice night,” Parker says.

  Leanne snaps to and smiles. “You too. Nice to meet you, Nikki.”

  “You too,” I add as I loop my arm with Parker’s and rest my head on his shoulder. Leanne scurries to a desk a few feet away and grabs her coat and purse. Parker leads me into his office and shuts the door.

  Opening the bag, he peeks inside as he moves to his desk. “Where’s your food?”

  “The baby was hungry,” I explain. “He couldn’t wait.”

  Parker chuckles and sits in his desk chair. I perch myself on the corner of his desk, facing him. “I see.”

  “So who is Leanne?” I ask, my jealousy abundantly evident in my tone. To his credit, Parker rolls his eyes as if just the mention of her name annoys him.

  “My assistant,” he mumbles absentmindedly before biting into his burger and moaning. “Damn, that’s good,” he says, around the food in his mouth.

  “She’s very pretty,” I note, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.

  Parker looks up at me, his cheek protruding with food stuffed in it, his eyes gleaming. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

  “I’m not jealous,” I insist. And I’m proud of myself for not going ballistic.

  “You shouldn’t be. She’s about ten shades of crazy.”

  “How so?”

  “I don’t know. She makes me uncomfortable. I’m scared to be alone with her.”

  “What?” I laugh-snort.

  “I don’t know. Anyway, enough about her,” he says. “How are you, the beautiful vessel by which my son will enter the world?”

  “Wow,” I say, dryly. “That was . . . romantic.”

  “I know,” he agrees before shoving the last bite of his burger in his mouth.

  “I’m good, all things considered.”

  He reaches up and presses his hand to my belly. “Has he kicked anymore?”

  “Not today.” And I grin.

  I watch as his expression falls as he stares at where his hand is resting. His thoughts are going south and he’s wondering how things will turn out. In an attempt to keep him focused on the positive, I add, “The shop is pretty much set up except for the piano.”

  “We’ll go this weekend,” he manages after he swallows. “I feel bad I haven’t seen your place. Will you take me this weekend?”

  “If you’ll take me to get the piano this weekend,” I bargain.

  He crumples up his burger wrapper and tosses it in the trash bin next to his desk. “You drive a hard bargain, Miss Reese.”

  “I give
as good as I get, Mr. Hayes,” I counter.

  When his gaze moves to mine, his left brow quirks and he smirks devilishly, and I can almost see the thoughts playing out in his mind. That name is a trigger, and suddenly I’m feeling very trigger happy.

  “If you take me,” I add and slide off of his desk, “I can promise major incentives.”

  He slowly pushes back from his desk and watches me, his eyes hungry. “Incentives?”

  I softly fall to my knees and begin unbuckling his belt. “Oh yes,” I assure him as I give my best doe-eyed look. “I give excellent incentives. My passion to please goes so deep, I can assure you you’ll be very satisfied.”

  “How can I refuse such an offer?” he replies and his eyes grow hooded. When I pull his erection out, he hisses just before I put him in my mouth and slide down his length until his head hits the back of my throat. He grunts and rasps out, “Fuck, Nikki,” followed by the firm tug of my hair.

  We spend Saturday in Raleigh. First buying Nikki’s piano and then . . . we go look at baby furniture. Still scared out of our minds, we decide not to buy anything. I think neither of us wants to until we get over this hurdle. Afterwards, she takes me to her shop and shows me where the piano will go once it’s delivered. As she talks about her plans, what she hopes to do, it’s not hard to hear the excitement in her voice, and it fills me with pride.

  Saturday night, we curl up on the couch and watch a movie, which turns into me giving her a back rub, which turns into us having sex. Her little moans get me every time. All in all, it was the perfect day, despite the anxiety we’re both trying to ignore.

  Today we’re heading to my parents’ house for dinner and we forced Joey, John, and Edie to join us. I don’t know which one of us is most excited, Nikki or me.

  “You think she’ll make that fried chicken again?” Nikki asks from the passenger seat.

  “I told her you’ve asked me a hundred times if she would.” I grin.

  Nikki scowls. “It’s for the baby,” she insists as her mouth quirks into a smile.

  “And that giant bowl of ice cream you ate last night? That was for the baby, too, right?”

  She frowns and lets out a deep sigh. “I’m getting fat.”

  “You’re pregnant,” I point out. “And sexy as fuck. I love the way your ass—”

  “Jesus, guys,” Joey mumbles from the backseat where he sits with Edie and John. “Give me a break back here.”

  “I agree,” John joins in.

  “You’re just as bad,” Joey says to John. “Can’t y’all refrain from talking about any of Edie and Nikki’s body parts or anything related to sex with them in my presence, please?”

  We’re all laughing because he says it with such intensity. The look on his face when I peek in the rearview mirror is priceless. “Guys, cut it back for Joey,” Edie finally manages and I see her rest her head on his shoulder in the backseat. I have such a huge respect for Joey. He’s always been there for the girls and his concern is genuine. There’s no crush or lust there. He loves them like family. I’m honored to now call him my friend.

  When we enter my parents’ house, I’m leading the crew in when something wet jets me in the face. It doesn’t stop and it takes me a moment to realize my sister is shooting me in the face with not just any wimpy water gun, but a goddamn water blaster. I’m fucking soaked now.

  “You little turd!” I yell and bolt after her. Her face drops when she sees me coming and laughs hysterically as she runs in the opposite direction, me tailing after her. My sister is severely short, five one to be exact, which is technically only a few inches away from being hobbit-sized. So it takes me three long strides to catch her and tackle her to the ground, causing the super soaker to go skidding across the floor. She grunts and laughs when we hit the floor and screams bloody murder, just like she did when we were kids.

  “Parker Hayes,” my mother shrieks when she comes rushing into the room, having heard my sister’s cries for help. “Let her go,” she orders me, even though she’s grinning.

  “She sprayed me in the face with a damn water gun, mama,” I bark as I straddle Maddie and pin her arms above her head.

  “I didn’t do it, mama,” Maddie swears, her brown eyes like a goddamn kitten and her thick-ass hair spilled out on the floor around her head, looking the epitome of innocent. “He’s lying.” Yeah, this is exactly like when we were kids. My mother always believed her, too.

  “Lies!” I bellow. “You better tell her the truth or you’re dead meat, kid,” I warn as I wiggle my fingers, threatening to do the one thing I know she absolutely hates—tickle her.

  Maddie stares up at me, her jaw hard, eyes fierce. I want to die laughing because I know she’s about to say something stupid and funny. Her voice is stern when she says, “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.”

  “Is that from Braveheart?” John snorts.

  “That’s it!” I boom, fighting the laughter because my sister is truly a nut. “You asked for it, William Wallace.” Then I start tickling her, sitting my full weight on her. Yeah, that’s right, older brothers can be assholes sometimes. Maddie is laughing so hard, desperately trying to suck in air, struggling because I’m sitting on her. “Tell her the truth and I’ll stop,” I offer as I continue to mercilessly tickle her sides.

  “Never,” she grunts. Then, in classic Maddie style—which means dramatic as hell—she arches her head back, her face tense like she’s being stabbed, and yells, “Freeeeeeeedom!”

  Everyone is laughing their asses off and so am I. My sister is a doofus. I finally push off of her and roll on the floor beside her while we both catch our breaths.

  “Good to see you, eldest brother,” she chirps.

  “Eldest brother?” I quip. “I’m your only brother,” I remind her.

  “Pfft,” she snorts. “Eldest brother sounds way cooler than only brother,” she says to me like I’m an idiot.

  “You two get up,” my mother orders. “Behave yourselves. We have company.” Maddie and I push ourselves up while we pinch and pick at one another. Once we’re standing, I wrap my arm around her neck and press her face against my wet shirt while I give her a noogie.

  “Let go of me!” she yells as I continue to rub my knuckles across her scalp and lead her toward my friends.

  “Guys, this is Maddie, my sister. Ain’t she cute?”

  Maddie finally manages to get loose and just before she shoves me away, she knees me in the nuts. “Motherfucker.”

  “Parker Hayes!” my mother scolds as I groan. She didn’t knee me hard enough for me to keel over, but enough to make me grab my boys.

  “What?” I ask my mother. “Hope you didn’t want any more grandkids one day.”

  Maddie smoothes her hair and smiles brightly, ignoring me in my pain. “Nice to meet you all. And you must be Nikki,” she beams as she pulls Nikki in for a hug. “You poor, beautiful woman. I’m sorry you got stuck with my brother.”

  “Thanks, Maddie,” I wheeze.

  Nikki smiles, her gorgeous blue gaze meeting mine. “I think I lucked out.”

  “God,” Maddie groans. “She’s blinded by love. She’s a lost cause.”

  My mother’s kitchen table is small so my father brings in a folding table to add to the end of it so we can all sit together. And to Nikki’s delight, mama made fried chicken. After her third piece, she’s started complaining about heartburn.

  After dinner, we sit and chat with my parents while Maddie clears the table. It doesn’t escape my attention how Joey practically jumps at the chance to aid my sister with the dishes or how every time I’ve looked at him, he seems to be looking at her.

  Before we came to dinner Nikki and I decided not to tell my parents about the test results we’re waiting on. My mother would do nothing but worry herself to death and my father would only worry about my mother. But we agreed to tell them the good news we could share.

  “So we found out what we’re having,” I announce as I place one arm over Nikki’s shoulders wh
ere she sits beside me.

  “It’s a boy,” my mother answers, her voice cracking with emotion.

  “Why do you think that?” I ask, and I try not to grin like a fool.

  “Because look at how beautiful Nikki looks. When it’s a boy, the mother keeps her beauty. When it’s a girl, the baby takes the beauty.” Make-believe knowledge by Adele Hayes, ladies and gentlemen.

  Maddie snorts. “Well maybe it just took Parker’s looks. He looks like an ass,” she calls from the sink where she and Joey have been chatting over dishes.

  “Madeline Rae Hayes, watch your mouth.”

  “Shit,” Maddie murmurs. “Sorry, Ma.”

  “Well, you’re right,” Nikki affirms. “It’s a boy.” And she’s smiling, but the concern and fear are evident, at least they are to me. I want to curse or fucking punch something when I think about how scared she’s been. And just when she finally comes around and begins to get excited, this happens. We’re faced with the possibility of something tragic happening to our child. Under the table, I squeeze her leg, letting her know I understand what she’s thinking and feeling at the moment.

  “Congratulations, you two,” my father says, his voice husky with pride and emotion. “A baby boy.” He looks at my mother and grins when he sees her getting teary-eyed. “Now you can give them the five thousand things of Parker’s you kept from when he was a baby.”

  “It wasn’t that many,” my mother defends. Then she moves her gaze to me and Nikki. “But I do have a few things I think you might like.”

  For the next hour, Nikki and I search through the attic and find my old baby crib and a ton of baby clothes. I can’t believe my mother kept all of these things. The women in my family are rat packs. And in spite of that, my mama is the fucking best. When we finally leave, Nikki and my mother hug tightly for a long moment. It’s not hard to tell they’ve bonded and it makes me so damn happy. She’s now one of the three leading women in my life—I’m including Maddie, even though she’s a pain in the ass—and they’re all bonding. And for Nikki, I know having a mother figure means so much. Probably more than I’ll ever be able to understand. I’m blessed my mother is such an amazing woman. Am I a mama’s boy? Hell, yes, I am. And proud of it. My mother helped make me the man I am today. She’s always pushed me to do well, to do what’s right, and she’s never tried to rule or dictate my life. Instead, she’s always loved me unconditionally and I know no matter where I go in life, she’ll always be there. That’s what a parent should do. And that’s what I wish Nikki’s parents would of done for her. Even getting lightly reprimanded would have been better than being ignored or abandoned. The one thing I never felt was alone.