by Chana Keefer
How could I say no to that?
“Whatcha got there?”
I jumped at the voice, so close, so loud, pushy, and familiar. Right beside me, close enough to read over my shoulder, stood the spiky-haired reporter who had made life hellish after Sky’s concert two years before. The hair was white-blond now, but the face and voice were unmistakable.
“Excuse me.” I brushed past him, intending to return to my spot at the back of the arena, but spiky-guy followed, staying close. Too close. When I thought of the ridicule and rumors I’d endured due to his stories, my hands clenched into fists, eager to punch that toothy grin. As the lights went down and the band came back onstage with a surge of cheers, he spoke again.
“That’s from Sky, right?”
I turned toward him, “Look… ” I had a beauty of a telling-off planned, but a large shadow came closer with a set of shoulders so wide, they eclipsed the light from the exit.
“It’s sweet, really, sorta loyal that he would call you again when he’s in town. Is there a central number, like an agency?” Sly grin. Insinuating wink.
A large hand clamped on his head and spiky guy’s face went pale. Above him, the shadow’s head moved into the light. Lex!
But the bodyguard whose friendly smile had put me at ease two years before was the picture of intimidation as he twisted the spiky head to face him. “Beat it, Hempton,” he growled.
The one called Hempton scuttled away, spiky hair smushed flat where Lex’s grip left its mark.
Lex gave me a slight nod and stepped back into the shadows a couple steps away. It felt good to have Hercules on my side.
This time, the encore was another song from the new album I had refused to listen to. Once again Sky wove a mysterious atmosphere before he ever sang a word. There was a subtle beat with a hypnotic guitar pattern. The entire arena hushed as Sky began…
When you went to so much trouble to reach me
When your passion made you live and die
When you reached down through all creation
Leaving fingerprints on everything I see
When every fiber of me yearns for you
When every longing is a cry for you…
A stringed quartet appeared bathed in misty light on a small platform. The violins took up the melody as images appeared on the screen—war, famine, poverty, destruction.
Why
is it so hard to find you?
Why
is it so hard to understand?
Why
are you wrapped in shadow?
Why
is the gate so narrow?
It seemed Sky had lifted these questions directly from my soul.
The mountains point to you
The wind whispers your name
The sky spells out your story
And even my heart
Points to you, my compass star
Light percussion, a breathless pause then band and strings joined in.
What else can I do?
I must believe in you
You are what I cannot live without
Though I can’t prove you without a doubt
This hunger is a fact no man can dispute
When planets move, what’s unseen is proved
Everything faded until only Jake’s percussion remained. A quiet interlude, then the band swelled.
You I can’t reach
Wrap yourself around me
You I can’t see
Open my eyes
I give up doubt
Push away fear
Let me know
You are here…
I held my breath as he sang in a near whisper…
I take this step into empty space
And hope there’s such a thing as grace
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
I was dumbfounded as the final notes faded, the band filed off the stage and applause continued even after the harsh arena lighting signaled the show’s end. I wanted to sit and ponder—Did that mean what I think it means?
Maybe I could ask the composer.
Lex moved closer again, his eyes scanning the swirling crowd. “Hey thanks for, you know, running that guy off,” I offered. He was unresponsive so I edged away from the crush of exiting concertgoers.
“Begging your pardon, ma’am,” Lex said without looking at me, “but I’ve been ordered to stay with you. When things clear a bit, I’ll take you on back.”
So, the decision had been made for me. Honestly though, I’d have to be made of stone to resist a serenade and handwritten note. And I was fairly certain what Sky had read in my eyes had spelled out “willing” loud and clear.
“This way.”
Lex pointed to my left and I turned, a lamb obeying the guard dog. I saw that Marti and the others were gone from their row, most likely backstage already.
It was the flash of camera strobes and shouts that drew my attention. There, right through the exit, was a trio of gorgeousness with the micro-skirted, million-dollar smile, and legs-that-never-end Karina at its center, playfully kissing a cardboard, life-sized image of Sky. Over and over the strobes flared as she subtly adjusted the pose; pucker, flash, hand on his cardboard chest, flash. I was close enough to note the heavy lashes and sheen of blonde that mirrored the lights to perfection. Every inch of her seemed to glow.
I couldn’t help staring. Who could?
Spiky-guy leaned in, said something to her, and those gorgeous eyes looked my way. She gave me a once-over, said something back to him, and they both laughed.
Really? Didn’t girls stop doing that in, like, Jr. High?
But I had to admit the tactic still worked. I felt like a clod.
When Lex put a hand on my shoulder, encouraging me down the side aisle, I went with him—hardly caring where.
“Don’t let that…witch get to you,” Lex mumbled.
We had finally gotten to a fairly deserted stretch of hallway after walking in silence for a few moments. I had been so preoccupied by Karina’s intentional jab—orchestrated to perfection—I was clueless as to where we were. There was a general sense of “down,” but other than that, my internal compass was shot.
“You should hear Adam’s theme song for her.” Lex launched into a rendition of the 70’s rock song about a “Devil Wo-man.” When he got to the line “get you from be-hiiiiind!” he hit a screeching high note that made me giggle. I could tell by his pleased grin this had been his aim.
We stopped in front of a door and I was shocked to realize it was the same one where I had left Sky and Wally earlier in the evening. Obviously, we had taken the scenic route.
“Hey.” Lex looked up and down the hallway as if ensuring he wouldn’t be overheard. “Sky’s a good guy and, I’m not supposed to notice things, but he’s pretty crazy about you. Go easy on ‘im, okay?”
Me go easy on him? I searched Lex’s face. Wow, he wasn’t joking.
Lex’s back was to the door and he pushed it open while his eyes roved the empty hallway. As I stepped through, he spoke into a fancy walkie-talkie, “Package secured.”
“Package?” I spun and put out a hand to stop the closing door. “What’s that supposed to mean? Should I put a bow on my head?” Lex may have been two heads taller but somehow I’d make him take it back.
Lex’s eyes widened and he put out his hands as if warding off a ninja. “Sorry ma’am. Marine lingo. Meant no disrespect.”
The flash of anger whooshed out and foolishness slammed in. “No, I’m sorry. You’ve been so sweet and I jump down your throat. It’s just, that reporter guy, made me feel like… ”
Lex broke in. “Don’t worry, ma’am. Nobody would mark you for anything but a lady.”
Those words, proclaimed as a statement of simple, respectful fact, touched a raw nerve… and soothed it. Gratitude pushed up from my toes, thick and warm.
“Um, thank you,” I stammered and pulled his bulk into an awkward, brotherly hug.
The hesitant pat on my back signaled his discomfort,
so I let go.
“I have some other duties to attend to but I won’t be far.” With the faintest of smiles, Lex said, “Ma’am,” as he nodded and closed the door.
“If you’re done charming my bodyguard… ”
I whirled to discover Sky leaning against the far wall, half obscured by a drape of fabric.
It was my turn to say something. First the brain had to reboot. “Oh, um, thank you for the bottle and note.”
“Would you have come to see me without them?” When I hesitated he went on. “Then it’s the best gift I’ve ever given.”
Sky sucked in a quick breath and, with a clap of his hands, said, “Okay now, first things first. I ordered ‘in’ this time, less chance to be hounded.” He indicated the gourmet picnic on the low table. “Not as fancy, but it’s convenient.”
“So, is that the name of the game tonight, convenience?” I copped a British tone, “Let’s call that ‘Esther bird.’ She’s so dashed convenient.”
“Is that really what you think? I had a mildly good time with a local girl and called her to repeat it?”
Sky came closer, bit-by-bit, until he stood near enough for me to notice his hair was damp and he smelled of subtle cologne.
“Shouldn’t you, I mean, don’t you usually entertain the press about now?”
“I, um, well… lied.” He wrinkled his nose. “You know how exhausting a tour can be, health issues, scheduling problems—they can take their pick.”
“That’s a lot of disappointed people.”
“Pre-show meet-n-greet. Besides, there was only one disappointed person I was concerned about.”
He was inches away.
“Do you have any idea how I missed you?”
“Well,” I paused, “all those phone calls and letters gave me a pretty good indication.”
“Then you have no idea. I thought of you. Constantly.” Sky reached for my hair, letting the ponytail slip through his fingers.
“I wish Sammy was here. He can always smell a rat.”
“I deserve that. However, if I was a rat, I would have followed my instincts two years ago… the same way I’m dying to right now. But I’m keeping your best interests in mind. In fact, a lot of the reason for staying away the past two years was, precisely, to protect you. ”
“Protect someone by ignoring them? Doesn’t make sense.”
“The press eventually left you alone didn’t they?”
I shrugged.
“Believe me, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“Why? Because you were sure you had broken my heart? What an ego.”
Sky grinned and tugged lightly at the necklace chain around my neck. The tiny bottle emerged. “I’ve been accused of ego before, but I like flattering myself where you’re concerned. Besides, I knew you were going to be mine one way or another the first time I set eyes on you.”
“What? In that vending room? I was about to throw up when you first set eyes on me.”
“Let’s see.” His eyes twinkled. “First, you were a gorgeous backside in black velvet dashing out of sight.”
“That was you?”
“Then, when I snuck into that storage room and heard your voice, your laugh, I was intrigued. I peeked over some boxes, and there you were. I didn’t need an expert to tell me I’d struck gold. You were naïve, and charming, and beautiful, and the rest of the night I fell deeper and deeper under your spell.”
Again his eyes warmed me to my toes. “But then, I’m afraid I frightened you to death.” He grabbed one of the couch pillows and cowered behind it with wide eyes.
“Jerk!” But I couldn’t help laughing at his bad rendition of my fearful retreat in the hotel two years before. I grabbed another pillow from the couch. When his face reappeared with its mocking smile, the firm leather met his nose with a dull “thud.”
“Ow!” He covered his face with his hands. There was a tense pause until he finally spoke a bit snuffily. “My dose. I thick you broke it.”
“Let me see.” I plucked at his hands, but he turned away. “Oh come on. Is it bleeding?”
“A dot you care!” The childish delivery didn’t ring true.
I reached for the small ice bucket on the table and quietly pulled out a freezing, dripping cube. “I’ve heard the best way to stop a nose bleed is... ” I placed it on the bare nape of his neck.
“Aah!” He whirled, laughing. His nose was a bit red, but decidedly bloodless.
“Fake!” I accused.
“Give me that, you heartless wench.” He dove for the hand still grasping my miracle cure. After a short struggle, the ice cube popped into the air and flipped end-over-end until, with a final half twist, it landed with a “Plink!” dead center in the ice bucket.
Our mouths gaped, a split second’s pause then...
We both launched toward the table. After a short, but decisive scrimmage, Sky’s hands were full of ice and mine held the dwindling supply in the bucket.
We faced each other; my fist raised and loaded, Sky’s hands dripping.
He dodged and I feinted, barely avoiding the hand stretched toward my back as I lobbed a cube over my shoulder. I laughed in triumph at his “Ow!” when the ice connected beautifully with his thigh.
I was still laughing when I hurdled the low arm of the couch and my foot hit the drapery suspended from the ceiling that formed a puddle on the floor. There was a heart-wrenching “Rip!” as I sprawled on my face and the ice bucket rolled away. The swath of gauzy fabric came fluttering down around my head.
“Fortune smiles!” Sky exclaimed as I scrambled to untangle myself. But he was too quick and wrapped the material tighter. “And don’t bother crying wolf. If there’re broken bones, we’ll deal with them later.”
He brought a dripping handful of ice toward my neck as I struggled and screeched with laughter. We fell over in a heap, Sky’s grinning face above me.
It hit without warning.
Devin’s face, angry and crazed. Fear gripped my throat. I couldn’t breathe. I was choking. I’d never, ever be able to get air into my lungs again.
I thrashed wildly as my chest was once more crushed with the waking nightmare of Devin pinning me to the ground, paralyzing my mind and body. I wanted to cry out, but couldn’t make a sound. “Oh God! Oh God!” my mind screamed as each second became a torturous eternity.
I felt my arms released and the fabric yanked from my legs.
“Hold still, love. Shhh! I won’t hurt you.” Sky’s frightened voice soothed.
I sat up, taking several shaky breaths while Sky watched with wide eyes.
“Can I get you something? Water?”
I nodded and Sky handed me a glass but my hands were trembling too much to hold it.
“Are you all right?”
I scooted against the wall, mortification taking over. “I’m so sorry!” I drew a trembling hand across my wet cheek.
“An entire year was just frightened from my life. Could you please tell me what’s going on?”
I glanced down to discover the bottom couple snaps of my skirt had been wrenched open during our scuffle, revealing the band-aid on my knee from reckless shaving. Sky refastened the snaps and smoothed the mussed skirt.
I told him of Devin’s attack, utilizing all the emotion of a State of the Union address. I concluded with Devin’s exit when Marti and Tom had returned. “I guess, like the police officer said, I was lucky.”
“Thank God your friends arrived when they did!” Sky hopped to his feet and paced back and forth. “I truly want to kill this bloke!”
“Too late.”
That stopped the pacing. “What?”
“Later that night, Devin took his life.”
“How?”
“He shot himself.”
“How kind of Devin to save me the trouble.”
I cringed at the harsh tone. “Don’t say that. He wasn’t all bad.”
“He was a friend?”
“Yes… a long time ago.”
> “A boyfriend?”
I hesitated. “Well, I cared about him… even told him about God.” Why was I suddenly cold and sick to my stomach? “When Devin was desperate, he called me. All I had for him was a stupid ‘God’s there for you’ speech. He got off the phone, took the drugs—the rest is history.”
“And you blame yourself.”
“Well, the reason he went back to drinking and stuff was my fault.”
“You rejected him?”
“Kinda.”
“Then I sympathize. But I guarantee, you were not the cause nor could you be the solution to his needs.”
He stood and pulled me to my feet. “However, we need to make sure something like this can never happen again.”
“What? Have Lex follow me around? No thanks.”
“Not a bad idea, but you definitely need to know how to protect yourself.”
With that, he gave me a quick lesson in self-defense; from the vulnerability of an attacker’s pinky fingers, to the use of high heels on toes, and even the poking of eyeballs… removing them if necessary.
“That’s a bit gory, don’t ya think?”
“You’ll be alive. They can search for body parts later. Now, the tickle defense… quick, what should you do!”
I shrieked with laughter as he caught me from behind, probing my ribs, “You should know better than that by now!” I warned.