by Marta Perry
“I won’t tell if you’ll let me have a ride,” Naomi promised. Her young sister-in-law constantly amused her. She and Isaiah made a good match, both able to take things as they came and find joy in each day. That was a valuable gift.
“I promise,” Libby said. “Don’t forget you’re coming over to share supper with us.”
“I won’t. I’ll bring the apple pie.” Naomi headed for her own house. She couldn’t deny that she’d like to be out in the snow as well, but she’d rather change clothes first. Enjoying the snow required her thicker socks and her old jacket, as well as a muffler and mittens.
She went on in the house. Libby’s playfulness had distracted her for a few minutes from that conversation with Bishop Mose, but the moment she was alone, it all came flooding back.
Well, at least she had to be grateful that the bishop understood and agreed with what she was doing. But the feeling that she had disappointed him by not doing more to mend the breach with her father wouldn’t go away easily. Somehow she had to find a way to talk to Daad on her own, even though her heart cringed at the thought of receiving another dose of his anger.
Making peace was never easy, it seemed. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, or folks wouldn’t value it so much. She would just have to pray that God would give her the right words to say to her father.
Gathering her sewing, she sat down in the rocker by the kitchen stove. The world was so quiet when it was snowing. That provided peace of a different kind, but none the less valuable. She would sit and rock and glance out at the drifting flakes while she worked on the doll for Sadie’s Christmas gift.
Soon the snowflakes were driven, not drifting, and the white powder began to pile up on the ground. The weather predictions were right, it seemed. She had just about finished stuffing the doll when she heard noises outside. A muffled clop of hooves, the faint jingle of bells…She went to the window and peered out just in time to see Nathan’s buggy horse come up the lane, pulling the old cutter she’d noticed in his barn.
Nathan and the children, well bundled up, waved to her and shouted greetings to Isaiah and Libby, who were already hurrying out their back door.
Naomi tucked the sewing out of sight and grabbed her jacket, as excited as a child herself. In moments she had joined the others at the sleigh. Snowflakes swirled around her, and she wrapped the muffler more securely around her neck.
“What is all this?” she asked. “Surely it can’t be Joshua and Sadie in a sleigh!”
“It is, it is!” Sadie crowed, bouncing on the narrow seat. “Daadi got the sleigh out.”
“It’s a cutter,” Joshua said, with his passion for being exactly right.
“Ja, so it is,” Isaiah said. “And aren’t you lucky that Daadi had it in the barn?”
“We almost sold it last year,” Nathan said. He grinned, the sparkle in his eyes about as bright as the children’s. “It’s a gut thing we didn’t, ja?”
“Why would you sell it?” Libby stroked the curving runner, looking as if one of her Christmas wishes had come true.
Nathan shrugged. “As fast as they plow and cinder the road these days, there’s not much use for it. And the lane has to be clear, as well, for the milk trucks. You can’t drive a cutter over the cinders very well.”
“So this is the perfect day,” Naomi said, smiling at the excitement even as it bubbled in her, as well. “The plow drivers won’t be in any hurry since it is Sunday.”
“They certain-sure won’t be out while it’s still snowing.” Nathan smiled down at her and extended his hand. “Komm, Naomi. You get the first ride.”
Something about his smile, about the way he extended his hand, reminded her forcefully of those moments in the bee yard when they were covering the hives. She took a quick step back.
“Let Libby go first,” she said. “I know she’s dying for a ride but she won’t ask.”
“Ach, I can wait—” Libby began.
Isaiah cut her words off by lifting her bodily up into the cutter. The children scrunched over to make a space for her, and she laughed as she grabbed hold of the side. “All right, ja, I’m as excited as the kinder,” she said.
Isaiah stepped back, Nathan slapped the lines, and the horse trotted off, the cutter running smoothly behind her. Off to the barn they went, turned, and slid back past them and out to the road, the children squealing, and Libby making just as much noise as they were.
“Ach, look at her.” Isaiah watched his wife with a doting expression in his eyes. “She is just like one of the kinder. It was ser kind of you to let her go first.”
“It’s nothing. I knew how much she wanted a ride.” To say nothing of the fact that she’d needed a moment to gather her wits.
Come now, she told herself firmly. Maybe you’d best be careful about being alone with Nathan if you don’t want him to guess that you feel…something. But as long as there are others around, you won’t feel a thing.
She hoped.
The cutter came flying up the lane, and Nathan drew to a stop in front of them. Libby jumped down, the tails of her muffler flying and her cheeks flushed. “That was so much fun. Your turn, Naomi.” She gave her a little shove toward the cutter.
“Ja, up you go.” Isaiah grabbed her arm and helped her up.
She settled on the seat, realizing how narrow it was—barely enough room for two adults, let alone two adults and two children.
“Here, Joshua, stand between my legs and you can help me drive, ja? Sadie, if you sit on Naomi’s lap, she will have more room.”
Joshua moved over importantly, his mitten-clad hands small on the lines. Nathan covered them protectively with his.
Naomi settled Sadie on her lap, and the child snuggled against her. “I’m glad you get to ride in the snow with us,” Sadie said. “I love you, Naomi.”
Touched, Naomi wrapped her arms around the child. “I love you, too, Sadie.”
Nathan darted a smiling glance at her before concentrating on the lines, and Naomi’s heart seemed to flutter.
“All right, Joshua. Flick the lines just a bit and tell her to step up.”
“Step up, girl.” Joshua attempted to mimic the way his father addressed the mare. Well-trained, she moved off instantly.
“Oh, my goodness.” Naomi’s stomach seemed to bounce. “It is nothing like riding in a buggy. It’s more like flying.”
They sailed along the lane, the runners making only a soft crunching sound on the snow. Snowflakes dusted her bonnet and gathered on the black sleeves of Nathan’s jacket. She laughed with the sheer exhilaration of the ride.
“See what fun it is, Naomi?” Joshua didn’t take his eyes off the lines, even when he spoke. He looked so serious and responsible standing there.
“It is great fun,” she echoed.
“It’s the best day ever,” Sadie said, making Naomi smile.
“That’s what you said about the day we went to the Christmas program at school,” she pointed out.
Sadie considered. “This is the best day, ’cause Daadi and you are both here. That was the second best day.”
“Gut thinking, Sadie,” Nathan said. He reached across to pat his daughter, the movement bringing him even closer to Naomi.
Her breath caught in her throat again, and she forced herself to inhale and exhale evenly. Apparently they didn’t have to be alone for her feelings to get out of control. She cared about Nathan. And there wasn’t one thing she could do about it.
The storm ended up dropping more than four inches of snow overnight. Nathan came out of the barn the next day, blinking in the hazy sunlight reflecting from the whiteness, and paused to enjoy the view. Snow still rimmed the edges of the fences, and the branches of the hemlocks bowed gracefully under the weight. Before winter was over he’d be sick of the sight of snow, but at the moment it was still something to wonder at.
Joshua and Sadie had been overjoyed by their first sleigh ride yesterday. As had Naomi. It made Nathan smile, remembering the fun they’d had.
Even now, Naomi and the children were out, bundled up and tramping through the snow toward the woods, pulling the plastic boat-shaped sled Nathan had bought for them last year. He smiled at the sight until he realized what it was Joshua carried over his shoulder—the heavy clippers he used to trim the trees.
Nathan headed toward them before he thought through what was happening. Well, whatever it was, he certainly didn’t want his son using those heavy clippers. He’d be lucky if he didn’t cut a finger off trying to manage them. What was Naomi thinking?
He’d worked up a head of steam by the time he reached them. “Where are you going with those clippers?”
Naomi looked at him, her smile freezing at his tone. “We’re going to the woods to cut some greens for decorating, of course.”
“No.” Realizing how harsh that sounded, he quickly added, “If you need greens, I will cut some for you later. The kinder don’t need to be doing such a job.”
“But, Daadi, we want to.” Sadie’s voice trembled. “We’re going to have fun.”
“Ja, we are big enough to help,” Joshua added.
“Why not ask Daadi to come with us?” Naomi said. “He can help us get the greens, and that will be even more fun than doing it by ourselves.”
There was, he realized, a challenge in her eyes, a challenge that seemed to say that if he insisted on being foolish, at least he should join the children instead of forbidding them.
“Ja, ja, ja,” Sadie chanted, running at him to grab his hand and swing on it. “Komm, Daadi, komm. We want you to komm to the woods with us.”
“Please, Daadi.” Joshua looked at him confidently.
Naomi had trapped him into this outing, it seemed. “Ja, all right. I guess I have time now,” he said.
The smile on his children’s faces made him think again of the fun of yesterday’s sleigh ride. Naomi was right that they could have fun cutting the greens. Just not without him watching over them.
Hadn’t he made it clear that he didn’t want the children doing anything dangerous? Maybe he’d have to be more specific about what activities he considered dangerous.
“I’ll take—” He reached toward the clippers his son carried and read disappointment in his face. “Why don’t you put the clippers in the snow boat? Then you can pull them along instead of carrying them.”
“That’s a gut idea,” Naomi said at once. “Will you pull for a while, Joshua?”
“Ja, sure.” Joshua dropped the clippers in and grabbed the rope. “I can get to the woods before you, Daadi.” He started to run, his progress slow in the snow, the sled bouncing behind him.
“I’ll catch you,” Nathan said. He gave the boy plenty of lead and then jogged after him.
“Hurry, Naomi,” he heard Sadie urge. “Hurry.”
He made sure he and Joshua arrived at the woods in a dead heat, and they were congratulating each other when Sadie and Naomi arrived, laughing and breathless.
“This is about cutting the greens for our Christmas decoration, not about racing,” Naomi said.
“Here are some greens.” Joshua pulled on a low branch of hemlock.
“It’s pretty,” Naomi said, looking at the branch with a serious expression. “But hemlock needles fall off easily once the branch is cut. We probably don’t want needles falling all over the house, do we?”
“But look at the pretty baby cones.” Sadie touched one of the hemlock’s small cones.
“We can find some cones on the white pine,” Nathan intervened, no more eager to have hemlock needles all over the place than Naomi was. “Look, there’s one right over here.”
Sadie still pouted.
“You can pick some of the baby cones to decorate with,” Naomi suggested. “We’ll collect cones while Daadi and Joshua cut the greens.”
“Ja, ja.” Sadie clapped her mittens. “I’ll put them in the sled.”
“Daadi, here’s the clippers.” Joshua hoisted them out of the sled and handed them to him.
“Denke.” He took them, lifting them well out of reach of the kinder.
“I love it when we put greens and candles in the windows,” Joshua said, watching intently as Nathan cut a branch. “I remember when Mammi did it.”
The reminder made his breath catch in his throat. “Do you?” he managed to say. “I’m glad.” He glanced at Naomi, to see that the comment had affected her, as well.
“Naomi says we’ll make strings of stars and angels to hang up,” Sadie said, never wanting to be left out. She had few, if any memories of her mother, Nathan suspected, and the thought made his heart hurt.
“When you get some Christmas cards, we will hang those up as well,” Naomi said. “That will remind us to think of the people who sent them.”
Naomi’s kindness shone through in all she said and did, it seemed. Nathan couldn’t ask for anyone better to bring up his children, even if he didn’t always approve of her ideas.
“How about this one?” Joshua asked, pulling on a branch. “This one is nice and thick. I think you should cut it.”
Nodding, he reached out with the clippers, and then he hesitated. He looked at his son, so eager to help.
“Let’s do this one together,” he said.
“You mean it, Daadi?” Joshua’s face lit up.
“Ja, sure. Just like we drove the horse together yesterday.” He drew the boy close to him, making sure the branch wouldn’t spring back and hit him. “Put your hands here, like this. It’s like cutting with scissors, ain’t so?”
Joshua nodded, his face intent as he placed his hands exactly the way Nathan told him. With Nathan steadying the clippers, Joshua cut the branch, and when it fell, he broke into a huge grin. “I did it.”
“You did,” Nathan said, tossing the branch into the sled. Just a little thing, to make his son so happy.
Sadie chattered away, running back and forth, mostly finding pine and hemlock cones but sometimes burrowing in the snow or chasing a squirrel. Joshua worked steadily, seeming to model himself on Nathan’s actions, and in short order they had filled the sled with greens and cones.
They started back toward the house, and it seemed to Nathan that his son walked a little taller as he pulled the sled. Naomi caught Nathan’s eye and smiled as if approving his actions.
“Let’s stop at the hives for a minute,” she called as the children moved ahead of them.
Joshua and Sadie obediently swerved, waiting for them next to the hives with their black winter blankets.
“You remember when I said that it’s an old tradition to tell the bees about all the important things in your lives?”
They nodded solemnly.
“Well, I thought perhaps you would tell the bees your Christmas wishes.”
That immediately caught the children’s attention. “Me, first,” Sadie said. “Me, first.”
Naomi nodded. “Go ahead. Nice and clear, so the bees can hear you.” She glanced at Nathan, and he realized she was answering his request. He’d wanted to know what to give the children for Christmas, and now he would.
“Can you hear me, bees?” Sadie whispered loudly. “I wish…I wish that I would get a doll cradle for Christmas.” She spun, clapping her hands together. “Did I do it right?”
“Just right,” Naomi said. “Now you, Joshua.”
Joshua stood up very straight. “I wish for a wagon. If I had one, I could help Daadi and Grossdaadi haul things to the cows.”
“That is ser gut,” Naomi said, her voice a little husky.
She was affected by Joshua’s wish, just as Nathan was. That his son wanted so much to help—the thought had his throat going tight. He had learned something valuable about Joshua today, and he had Naomi to thank for it.
He met her gaze. A smile trembled on her lips, her eyes were bright, and her cheeks were pink with the cold. He had never seen her look lovelier.
Longing swept through him, so strong it nearly had him covering the space between them. He wanted…he wanted…
Something startled and
aware came into her face, and her eyes darkened. For a moment it was as if they were touching each other.
“Daadi?” Sadie tugged at his sleeve, pulling him back to the here and now. To the truth of what he had almost done.
Guilt swept through him, as strong as the longing had been. Stronger. He couldn’t feel anything for Naomi, not when his heart had been buried with his wife.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
More dessert, anyone?” Leah stood at the table with a knife poised above the pumpkin cheesecake she’d made for the Christmas lunch.
A series of groans greeted the suggestion of more food. Their rumspringa crowd from over ten years ago still had dessert plates in front of them, but no one seemed able to take Leah up on her offer.
“If I eat another bite I’ll burst.” Rachel, Leah’s best friend since childhood, spoke for everyone, Naomi thought. Certainly for her.
“It was scrumptious.” Myra Beiler, Leah’s sister-in-law, sighed at her inability to eat any more. “I hope you saved enough for Daniel and the kinder.”
“Ach, don’t worry about them. Elizabeth helped me, and we made three so there would be plenty. I wanted to try a new recipe, so I needed a little moral support.”
“You are lucky to have such a sweet stepdaughter.” Lovina shook her head. “The boys are dear and I love them, but a daughter would be nice.”
“It’s not too late,” Naomi teased. “The boys would love a little sister, and I’d certain-sure like a niece.”
“We’ll see,” Lovina said, and something about the way she smiled made Naomi wonder if the idea of a daughter was more than just a wish. She eyed Lovina surreptitiously, but couldn’t detect any change in her figure.
Still, Amish dress did a gut job of hiding a pregnancy.
“Is there something you’re not telling us, Lovina?” Leah asked as she carried the basket of small gifts they’d brought to the table.
“Nothing I’m ready to talk about.”
Lovina’s answer had some knowing looks going around the table, and Naomi suspected she wasn’t the only one counting up a probable birth month and thinking about baby quilts.