by C. A. Szarek
His heart sped up again. It was right to have her at his side. “Ansley,” he croaked.
“Aye, Leargan?”
He cleared his throat. “When we get back to your rooms, may I speak to you tonight instead of tomorrow?”
No.
Wait ‘til tomorrow when you’re calm. When you know what the hell you’ll say.
The blush that lit her cheeks made his mouth go dry.
He needed to kiss her more than he needed to breathe.
Please say no.
He’d never be able to keep his hands to himself, if she allowed him into her chambers. Maybe they should wait for Ali. At least the beast’s distaste for him would help. Fear of remaining in one piece would give him something to focus on other than the memory of her taste.
“Aye.”
Leargan was doomed.
****
Ansley’s heart raced as her pace matched his. Even though he had no interest in her, it wasn’t proper to see Leargan in her chambers.
So why had she agreed when he’d asked to escort her?
She should’ve been asleep hours ago, anyway. Instead, Ansley, Cera, Avril and Aimil had gone to the Duchess Solar to lounge around a cozy fire, settled into overstuffed chairs and wrapped in warm furs.
Sir Roduch had come to get a sleepy Avril several hours after supper.
The three of them remained, talking as they hadn’t since they’d been young girls bunking together at Rider Barracks.
All three of their wolves had joined them, napping near the fire until the need to hunt had Aimil letting the small pack out.
Ansley concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, trying not to be too obvious as she glanced down. It’d be just like her to trip and fall on her face in front of him. Heat crept up her neck.
Leargan’s words at evening meal tickled her mind. What could he possibly want to talk about that required them being alone?
They should’ve kept their appointment for the morning.
Privacy could have meant the great hall after breaking their fast, a sitting room, the Duchess Solar, a ledger room…any place without a bed.
The thought jolted her, and she jumped beside him, inadvertently tugging his arm.
Leargan paused, shooting her a concerned look. “Are you all right?”
“Aye.” Ansley looked away, her cheeks burning. She’d embarrass herself for sure.
Ali had taken her threat to leave her out in the dark alone seriously. Her bondmate dashed in front of them, stopping by the servants’ entrance and glanced over her shoulder. She grumbled mentally to Ansley, unhappy feelings washing over her. The wolf didn’t like Leargan’s hand on her.
She ignored her bond, and they went inside, Ali plastered to her thigh. Ansley chided her because Ali was making walking difficult, but the wolf wouldn’t break physical contact.
Leargan said nothing when they arrived at her room. He gestured for her to enter, following and closing the door.
The lack of sound was like her pulse, pounding in her ears. Ansley jumped.
Her bondmate immediately lay by the banked fire, claiming the hearth. The big she-wolf looked at the captain, her deep growl reverberating.
“Hush,” Ansley admonished, glancing at the man who’d stolen her heart.
His shoulders were stiff, his chest rose as if he’d taken a breath.
Ali wuffed, her thoughts a small argument, but Ansley reinforced her command mentally, softening it with love, and her bond whined, thumping her tail.
Never hurt him, Ali. I love him, as I love you, she thought-sent.
Lowering her head to her paws, Ali’s body relaxed.
One corner of Ansley’s mouth lifted as she watched yellow eyes slip closed, and her wolf gave a large sigh.
After Ali had dragged her all over the gardens and courtyard, it figured her wolf would be the exhausted one.
Leargan shifted on his feet.
Panic washed over her. She’d not guarded her thought-send.
Could he communicate mentally?
Had he heard her?
“I’m sorry.” Words tumbled out of her mouth. “She’s rather possessive of me. She even growls at my da once in a while, so she’s not singling you out. If that makes you feel better.”
“I don’t blame her.” His gaze was intense, and Ansley couldn’t look away.
What does that mean?
Her heart stuttered. “Do you—” she cleared her throat. “Do you want to have a seat?” Ansley gestured to the small table and two chairs by the fireplace, but Leargan’s dark eyes hadn’t moved.
Her body heated, limbs tingled.
The captain wasn’t looking at her like someone with no romantic interest.
Calm down, clear your head of nonsense and get this over with.
She pulled out a chair and winced at the screech it made on the stone floor. “Anyway, Ali won’t hurt you. I’d never let her, so you don’t have to worry about it.” Babbling? Really? Ansley swallowed hard, chiding herself.
“I’m not afraid.” Leargan’s voice made her freeze. He hovered near the door. “I’ve been living with Isair and Trikser for almost a turn.”
“She won’t hurt you,” Ansley repeated, forcing herself to relax her hands and shoulders.
“I realize that,” Leargan said. He came toward her, every step making her heart pound harder.
Ali made a noise in her throat and Ansley sucked in a breath.
She needed to calm herself before wild emotions affected her bondmate.
When Ansley glanced over her shoulder, Ali lifted her head, studying them both. She commanded her mentally to stay put.
“What…what did…you want to talk to me about?”
Leargan took a seat, pulling her chair closer to his and gesturing for her to join him. He cleared his throat right after her bottom hit the cushion, wringing his hands together.
Should she feel better or worse that he was nervous, too?
Ansley shifted, grasping the chair arms. His knees were close enough to touch hers, and she could feel the heat coming off his body.
“I wanted to explain myself to you. The other day, in the corridor—”
“You don’t have to. It’s fine.” Ansley spoke quickly, shaking her head. She didn’t want to hear it. Her chest ached. Couldn’t take the hurt and humiliation of his rejection again, even in privacy.
“No…please. I’ve some things I need to say to you,” Leargan said softly, meeting her eyes.
Ansley blinked away sudden tears, averting her gaze.
Ali whined, and they both looked in the wolf’s direction, but neither said anything, and her bond made no moves. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“Ansley.” He rose from the chair, pulling her to her feet and into his arms.
She yelped, but Leargan tugged her closer, and her arms shot around him of their own accord.
Ali rose to all fours and growled.
Leargan didn’t release her, but his arms stilled around her.
“I’m fine, Ali.” She made eye contact with her bondmate. Lie back down. Don’t move. Leargan will not hurt me, love.
Her wolf huffed but did as ordered.
His warmth enveloped Ansley, and her heart thundered. She could feel his echoing the pace and her breath caught.
“She won’t move, Leargan.”
“I never meant to hurt you.” He nestled her closer, and she wanted to melt into him.
“Oh…” Ansley said.
What’s worse?
His apology or the fact he knew he’d hurt her?
“Leaving like that, I didn’t think of how you might react. I’m sorry. I acted impulsively, and…I didn’t know how to handle myself.”
With every word, he inched closer, until his lips were hovering over hers, the heat of his breath tickling.
A tremor shot down her spine and she tightened her arms around him. Ansley tilted her face, brushing her lips against his.
Leargan groa
ned and crushed his mouth into hers. Kissing her hard, he forced her mouth open, but Ansley met his every move.
He devoured her, their tongues dueling.
She moaned, and he swallowed it, deepening the kiss even more.
Ansley’s legs wobbled, desire settling low in her belly. She wanted to get lost in him.
Forever.
But…what did Leargan want?
He moaned as she pulled away.
She stayed close—she couldn’t help it—resting her forehead against his shoulder. Hurt threatened to swallow her whole. “You left. Kissing me was a mistake.” Voice shaking, Ansley concentrated on not crying, her emotions awry.
She wanted to be honest with him, but did she have the guts to do so?
Leargan yanked away, cupping her face. “It’s not like that,” he whispered.
“You apologized…I thought…”
He silenced her with his lips.
Ansley melted back into his chest, shooting her arms around his neck. Ignoring questions and doubts, she kissed him back with all her might. She felt his body’s response pressing into her, and her core warmed even more.
He did want her.
When Leargan parted their mouths, it was much too soon.
She bit back a protest. Her body was hot; she throbbed between her legs.
They panted, chest heaving against breasts.
“Ansley. My Ansley. What am I going to do with you?”
She froze in his arms, staring into his dark eyes.
My Ansley?
He tugged her braid and smiled.
Her stomach somersaulted, but then his expression slid into something serious, his eyes pools of midnight. “I apologized for shoving you up against the wall, pushing myself on you…shaming you.”
“Shaming me?” Ansley gasped. Cera and Aimil were right. “You didn’t shame me, Leargan.”
“You don’t understand. I was about to…” The apple of his throat bobbed as he swallowed.
“I wanted you. I would have let you.” Warmth engulfed her face. Had she really just admitted that aloud?
Leargan blinked. Understanding settled into his expression and her stomach fluttered. Color lit his high cheekbones, olive slipping into pink.
Blessed Spirit, you made him blush?
He shook his head, dark hair swishing about his shoulders.
Ansley wanted to reach up and touch the stubble on his cheeks, it’d felt like heaven against her skin when they’d kissed.
Gorgeous, like always, his full mouth was swollen from their kisses. A tiny scar above his top lip stood out, white against the hue of his skin. She’d always wanted to ask him how it’d happened.
“Leargan,” she whispered.
His eyes slid to her mouth before he met her gaze again, and she shivered.
“I apologized because of what I almost did. It wouldn’t have been reversible. And, it wasn’t right against a corridor wall.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered.” Ansley’s stomach jumped. Relief washed over her with the confession.
So what if he knows you want him?
“What?” Leargan gaped, eyes wide.
She gripped her newfound bravery with both hands. “It wouldn’t have mattered, because it was you.” Doubt ate at her and she had to avert her gaze. Why had she just admitted she would’ve given him her innocence without a backward thought?
“Look at me, Ansley, and tell me what you mean.”
After squeezing her eyes shut, she took a breath and finally met his eyes. Words fell from her mouth. “I wanted you that day. And…I…want you still…”
He grinned.
Her heart tripped over itself, but she had no recovery time, because he claimed her mouth again. Ansley molded her body to his and opened for him, rubbing her tongue against his.
He kissed her until her legs gave out, groaning against her lips.
Leargan held her up plastered to his chest and explored her mouth. Urgency was still there, but he guided their kiss with a languorous heat that melted her heart and soul.
She would do anything for this man.
He rocked his hips into hers, and Ansley wanted to be naked with him. She broke away panting and pulled him toward her bed.
Embarrassment and insecurity didn’t matter anymore. Leargan was in her room, in her arms, and kissing her senseless.
It couldn’t stop here.
Reason, reminders, right from wrong were pushed away, replaced by desire, heat and her body aching in places she’d never experienced before.
“Ansley, we can’t,” Leargan gasped, locking his feet in place by the table.
He must’ve read hurt in her expression, because he pulled her back into his arms, holding, stroking her hair.
Her braid had been worked loose, her long red locks flowing down her back. Her heart beat against his, and Ansley hid her face against his neck, tears threatening.
Leargan kissed the top of her head, squeezing her against him. “I’m not rejecting you.”
“Then why?” She met his eyes. Her stomach fluttered at what she saw there.
Tenderness…and desire.
“I won’t dishonor you like that.”
Ansley trembled. “What if I chose it?”
“I would love to say aye. Now. Blessed Spirit knows I want you that bad. But I can’t do that to you.”
The hardness in his breeches pressed into her hip.
She swallowed hard. “I want you, Leargan.”
Groaning, he closed his eyes. “Your virginity is for your wedding night.” His arms shook as he held her.
“My virginity is for whatever I choose.” Ansley glared.
Honor be damned.
She wanted him. She was offering herself to him. Her body demanded it.
His hands and lips all over. Needed to feel his weight on top of her, inside her.
“And I choose to give it to you.” Sucking in a breath, she waited for his answer. Rejection would crush her, but she steeled herself for it.
Leargan guided Ansley’s face back to his, kissing her. “I’ll never receive a greater gift. But not tonight. Like I said, it’s for your wedding night. Our wedding night.”
She gasped, swaying on her feet. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, marry me, Ansley.”
Her mouth hung open. No words.
Why was the man of her dreams proposing?
Don’t question it. Just say ‘Aye.’
Hot tears cascaded down her cheeks. His handsome face blurred.
Leargan smiled and kissed them away, his lips brushing hers. She tasted the saltiness of her own tears and blinked.
Was this really happening?
How could this be real?
He’d said he wanted her, but that was far from love. Was he asking her for physical needs? Because she was innocent?
Surely not. Leargan could find another woman if it was only that. Right? A tavern, even a maid in the castle.
Don’t think about this. Respond.
It’s too good to be true…a voice chided. Ansley ignored it. Listened to her heart, not her head. She couldn’t help it. She loved him, more than she’d ever thought possible.
Could she marry him without the same from him? Was physical desire enough to sustain her?
Ansley also disregarded the voice that asserted she needed all of him, as well as the voice of reason that there was more to this sudden proposal.
Perhaps for now, she’d take what she could get.
His expression was open, expectant.
“Marry you?” Ansley stumbled out.
“Aye. Ansley Fraser, will be my wife?”
“Aye.” Was there really any other answer? She clutched the front of his leather jerkin as her head spun.
Blessed Spirit, please don’t let me wake if this is only a dream. I want to stay here. Forever.
“You said aye?” Leargan whispered, wonder in his tone, eyes wide.
Ansley nodded, feeling his arms tighten around
her.
He gave her a brilliant smile and pulled her closer.
“You thought I wouldn’t?”
She’d never seen Leargan…vulnerable. Ansley should reassure him, but she liked him this way. It made him more reachable, not so much the perfect knight.
More hers.
“Aye…no…I don’t know...” Leargan looked away. “It’s out of the blue…”
I love you. She bit her lip to keep the words inside, panic washing over her.
Ali whined, and they both shot glances to the she-wolf.
I’m fine, Ansley thought-sent. Stay. He’s not hurting me. Taking a breath, she turned back to him, forcing words out. “I will marry you.”
Leargan pressed a kiss to her mouth, resting his forehead against hers and flashing a grin that had her heart thundering all over. “I’m glad. There’s nothing I want more.”
“Is this really happening?” Ansley whispered.
He laughed and she jumped. After caressing her cheek, he rested his palm against it, the movement of his thumb causing a shiver to slide through her whole body.
“Aye, it’s happening.” He kissed her nose.
She smiled, burying her face against him and closing her eyes.
Ali made a noise, but she was only relaxing. The wolf rolled to her side and closed her yellow eyes.
“She let me kiss you,” Leargan whispered against Ansley’s hair.
She nodded, her cheeks burning. “I threatened her.”
He laughed and Ansley grinned.
Leargan didn’t laugh nearly enough. The sound washed over her, warmed her.
Taking her hand, he kissed her knuckles. “Will she ever like me?”
“I don’t know. We’ll just have to see. We have a lifetime, right?” Ansley melted in the heat of his dark gaze.
“I suppose we do.”
Chapter Eleven
Tynan cursed as colorfully as he could manage, spitting in the dirt and stomping his foot. He’d been to every inn and tavern near the market center, and then worked his way out, ending up in the slums of Lower Greenwald.
Nothing.
His little wife was nowhere he could scent out.
Had the Kenrick boy lied?
His steward shifted on his feet at Tynan’s glare but pretended not to notice his ire. “The boy said what tavern?” he barked.
“The White Sage Pub, sire.”