Never Should Have Loved You

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Never Should Have Loved You Page 12

by Tierra Ashley


  I felt like an empty shell, a soulless creature. I stared ahead of me looking at the concrete sidewalk envisioning absolutely nothing, when I heard a bang on my driver window that made me jump like a rabbit.

  “YOU A BOLD ASS BITCH!” Whitney was outside my driver window looking like an angry lion. “GET OUT THE CAR!”

  I was shook

  Scared shitless as Whitney yanked on my door handle

  She was pulling so hard on the locked door the car was shaking

  “GET OUT THE GOT DAMN CAR!”

  “We need to talk,” I said through the closed window

  “WE AIN’T GOT SHIT TO TALK ABOUT,” she yelled back

  I saw the fury in her eyes

  I saw why Jerome was having such a hard time getting rid of her

  Crazy was written all over her face

  I could see in her eyes that she was not one to reason with

  “Whitney it’s not what you think…” I tried to explain

  She wasn’t trying to hear it

  She bent down on the ground

  I tried to look and see what she was doing

  But as soon as I did she stood back up with a rock and bashed it into my window

  BANG!

  My window didn’t shatter but it sure left a deep scratch

  I knew it was time to go

  It was obviously no talking to her

  I reached for my keys to start the ignition

  But my hands were shaking so much that I knocked them out of the ignition

  I scrambled on the floor by my feet to find them

  “AFTER I BEAT YOUR ASS I’M GOING TO SUE YOUR ASS!!”

  Whitney was yelling so loud I was sure the neighbors were watching

  “GET OUT THE CAR BITCH! YOU CAME LOOKING FOR ME NOW YOU GOT ME!!”

  I located my keys on the floor and picked them up

  I fumbled to put them in the ignition and start it

  I threw my car in reverse

  Started backing out of the parking space

  Whitney grabbed at my windshield wiper and broke it off

  I stopped, took my car out of reverse, put my car in drive

  Whitney took my broken wiper and whipped it across the side of my car

  SCREEECH!

  I was sure it was going to leave a scratch

  I drove off leaving Whitney behind

  Breathing hard and watching her through my rear view mirror

  She was waving the broken wiper like a mad woman

  Screaming and cursing

  Sweat was pouring down my face ruining my makeup job

  Crazy bitch…I got to figure something else out

  Whitney

  Monday Night

  “I need to see you again tonight.” I was talking on my cell phone while I drove.

  “Is everything alright? You sound upset,” Marcus asked sounding concerned.

  “No, everything is bad. I need to talk to you right now.”

  “Alright, where do you want to meet?”

  “Meet me in the parking lot of Cheddars.”

  “Okay cool.”

  I hung up the phone.

  I still couldn’t believe that Naomi had the audacity to show up at my house. I wonder what she thought she could say to me. Yeah I’ve been fucking your husband, but let me explain. I wasn’t trying to hear none of it. It was nothing she could explain to me. She was one hundred percent foul for what she was doing and so was Jerome. I was in disbelief because I had heard stories from friends that told me how their significant other was creeping with a family member, but I never thought it would happen to me. And to think I hugged and kissed that hoe at her birthday party and she was all smiles like shit was wonderful. I wish I had known then, I would have smashed her face in her own cake.

  Jerome was calling my phone.

  “WHAT!?” I snapped.

  “Whitney, please let’s talk about this. I will drop Naomi and you and I can be back together.”

  “What makes you think I want your dirty ass back?”

  “I know I've been fucking up, but we can fix this, I promise.”

  “I don’t believe your lies, Jerome. You're lying to me. You're just trying to say we can get back together so I won't tell Marcus.”

  “JUST LISTEN TO ME!!! DON’T TELL MARCUS NOTHING!!!!!!”

  Jerome's voice was so deep and so loud my ear drum was hurting. He was hollering at me like he had a lot to lose if I told Marcus. What else did Jerome have going on that I did not know about?

  “You can’t control me Jerome. I do what I want, just like you’ve been doing what you’ve wanted with Naomi.”

  “You're crazy, you know that? All you care about is your hurt feelings. If you tell Marcus, you're doing more damage than good! Think about it Whitney. You don’t know the whole story. It’s a lot of shit you don’t know that’s going on. You're going to make things worse!”

  “So if they are breaking up like you say they are, why were they all hugged up at her birthday party? I don’t understand.”

  “It’s fake, it’s called acting! You don’t know the half, Whitney. Please just reconsider telling Marcus.” Jerome was sounding desperate now.

  “Were you fighting over her, Jerome?” I had to know. It hurt me to think that he and Marcus fought over Naomi.

  “No! Marcus doesn’t even know about me and Naomi. We were fighting for another reason.”

  “What reason?”

  “We just don’t like each other like that. We always fight, you know that.”

  “I don’t know Jerome…I’m just so confused. None of this makes sense. You're hurting me so bad.” I was crying now. Tears were pouring down my face as I drove to meet Marcus.

  “I know. I’ll explain everything. Baby, please just reconsider.” Jerome was trying to talk to me softly now.

  “Don’t baby me!”

  “You is my baby. I love you. You're my everything. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I just…I just…been fucking up, but I’m going to fix things.”

  “Jerome, don’t lie to me.” He was trying to warm my heart and in some strange way it was working. I didn’t want to fight with him. I didn’t want any of this to be happening. I just wanted to be in bed by ten o’clock watching movies with him like we used to do.

  “Baby, I’m not lying. Where are you?”

  “Driving to meet Marcus.”

  “Come to my house.”

  “No Jerome.”

  “Whitney, come see me so we can talk.”

  “Naomi showed up at my apartment,” I told him.

  “WHAT?”

  “We got into a fight.”

  “What you mean you and Naomi got into a fight?”

  “I’ll call you back Jerome. I’m here where I’m supposed to meet Marcus.”

  “You gonna tell him?”

  “I’m still deciding.”

  “Just…just come to my house.”

  “I’ll let you know.”

  “I love you.”

  “I have to go Jerome.”

  I hung up the phone.

  I pulled up in the parking lot. I didn’t see Marcus' car yet and the parking lot was pretty empty. I put my forehead on the steering wheel trying to calm my nerves. Jerome really had me thinking about reconsidering telling Marcus. I didn’t have all the facts. I didn’t know Naomi or Jerome’s side of things, but I felt Marcus deserved to know.

  Since him and I had been meeting up for lunches, he seemed kind of distraught over the breakdown in his marriage with Naomi. But if I told him she was having an affair with his brother, who knew if Marcus would snap or not. As much as I hated to admit it, Jerome was right. Me telling Marcus would do more harm than good…at least until I got more information.

  I stepped out of the car to clear my head. The fresh night air felt good on my face. I was pacing back and forth by the trunk of my car, thinking about what I was going to say when Marcus arrived. I watched as the few people that were in the parking lot walking into
the restaurant were laughing and talking, like life was a wonderful experience for them. I thought about the last few days and weeks of my life and realized I had done nothing but scream and fight. I didn’t like who this situation was making me become. I wanted to go back to being goofy and lovable.

  I said a small prayer to God, asking for him to fix things and make things right. After I said my prayer, I checked my phone to see that Marcus was calling me. I watched as the phone rang. I was about to hit the answer button when I heard the loud sound of a roaring engine.

  VROOM!

  The car was coming right for me

  The headlights were blinding my eyes

  I tried to move my feet to get out of the way

  But it was too late…

  …The car smashed into my side

  I felt my ribcage shatter

  The pain was unbearable

  Felt like hot coal had been fired into my body

  The striking force of the impact sent me flying through the air

  I was flying as fast as a bullet

  Gliding through the air like a thrown rock

  I was falling…

  …Falling so fast that I couldn’t stop myself

  I was going to hit the ground head first

  I thought of Jerome

  I thought of our love

  I thought of all of the babies that I wanted to have with him

  I could already hear the car speeding away

  I hit the ground

  My head bounced like a basketball…

  …Then everything faded and went black.

  Marcus

  Monday Night

  “What do you mean she’s dead?” I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing.

  “I’m sorry Marcus, but I stopped by to check on her and she was not breathing,” my mother’s nurse told me through sniffles and muffled cries.

  “I’m on my way.”

  “Okay. I already called the hospital. They will be here to pick up the body soon.”

  “Tell them hold on until I get there.”

  “I will tell them.”

  I hung up the phone.

  My heart was thumping, my mind was racing. Mama! I had been preparing myself for the call. I knew one day I would get the phone call that she had passed, but I wasn’t looking forward to getting that call today. Silent tears streamed down my face as I turned my car around to go the other direction toward my mom's house.

  I picked up my cell to call Whitney and let her know that I could not make it, but I didn’t get an answer. C’mon, pick up Whitney, I thought as I called her two more times, but this time it went straight to voicemail. Fuck it. I knew she would call me back eventually so I wasn’t going to worry about her. I looked at my phone and started to call Jerome and tell him the news, but I decided against it. It wasn’t like he gave a damn anyway.

  I pulled up at my mom's house and the EMT truck was already parked outside. I walked inside and saw two emergency workers standing in the living room.

  “Where is my mother?” I asked them.

  “She is still in the room,” the man pointed toward her bedroom. I walked past them and looked as my mother laid peacefully still in her bed. Her nurse was sitting in the chair on the other side of her bed.

  “Can you give me a moment alone?” I asked her.

  “Sure,” she said getting up from the chair and leaving me in the room alone with my mother. I held her hand; it was still warm. I kissed it slowly and rubbed her hand across my cheek. It was the last time I was going to be able to feel my mother's touch…the last time I was going to be able to smell her. I loved her so much because she was the only family that I had. Naomi wasn’t my family and Jerome and I had been torn apart for years. All I had was my mother, and with her gone I felt like a lost puppy.

  I cried in my last moment alone with her; eyes red, nose burning, unable to control my sobbing. I let it all out right there beside her. I just wished I could tell her that I loved her one last time. A knock on the door interrupted my moment with my mother.

  “Sir, we have to take her now,” the EMT told me.

  “Okay,” I said standing up, looking at her face a moment longer. I leaned down and kissed her forehead for the last time.

  “Bye mama,” I said wiping my tears and walking out of the room. I watched as they rolled her out of the room in a black bag, zipped up, so I could no longer see her. They put her in the truck and drove away. Me and the nurse hugged and shared a moment and then she finally left as well, leaving me alone in my mother's house surrounded by pictures of better times.

  My phone started ringing.

  It was Naomi.

  “I can’t talk right now.”

  “I was just calling to see where you were.”

  “My mother just passed away. I’m at her house right now.”

  “Aww, I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you alright?” She actually sounded like a real wife for a moment.

  “Nah, I’m fucked up. I don’t want to talk about it,” I said wiping my tears.

  “Did you tell your brother?”

  “Hell no. He didn’t even love her.”

  “Don’t say that. Yes he did.”

  “Whatever Naomi. I have to go.”

  “Are you coming home?” she asked. I was kind of caught off guard with her acting so normal.

  “Maybe later. I was supposed to meet up with Whitney, but had to cancel on her when I got the news about mom.”

  “You should just wait until another time…you shouldn’t be out in your condition.”

  “Yeah.”

  Silence.

  It felt strange being on the phone with Naomi for more than a minute without us yelling at each other. I guess death has a way of making things different, which made me think about the whole insurance thing I had going on with Michelle. I was thinking that maybe it was a bad idea. As much as I hated Naomi, seeing my mother dead made me feel I could not go through with it.

  “Listen, I have to go. I will see you later at home.”

  “Okay, love you.” Naomi’s words sounded like a bolt of lightning to my nervous system. Love was something that we just didn’t say to one another. What’s up with her?

  “Aight,” is all I could say before I hung up.

  I stood in the living room a few moments longer when I realized Whitney hadn’t called me back yet. She had sounded like she was in a panic when I talked to her last. I went to my car to head over to where she and I were supposed to meet. I drove the entire way there in a trance. I didn’t want to think about funeral arrangements or anything. I just wanted to take a long hot shower and drink me a stiff glass of Hennessy straight up.

  I arrived at Cheddars parking lot and seen the flashing lights of ambulances and people standing around in a large circle. I got out of my car to see what was going on. The ambulance was closing the door like they were getting ready to pull away.

  “What happened?” I asked a young girl standing next to me.

  “Some lady got run down by a car.”

  I checked my phone with still no call from Whitney and then I noticed her truck parked next to the ambulance. I ran up to the back door and banged on it.

  “AYE!! OPEN THE DOOR,” I demanded. I was praying that it wasn’t Whitney. The emergency worker opened the door and asked me to stand back.

  “I think I know her. Can I see who it is?” I pleaded. The worker reluctantly let me up onto the ambulance.

  “That’s my sister-in-law!” I said in shock.

  “You know this woman?”

  “Yes,” I said taking a seat onto the truck. The man closed the door and the flashing lights sounded with the siren as we sped off to the hospital.

  Lisa

  Monday Night

  “Why did you do that?” I said out loud to myself, pounding my fists against my head. I was so angry with myself. The sound of her body hitting my car sent anguish to my heart. She was just standing there looking so peaceful like she didn’t have a care in the
world, and I killed her. I was sure I killed her because she flew so far in the air there was no way she could have survived. Why did Marcus have to kiss her? Why did he have to lie and say that he wanted to be with me?

  I popped my last six Xanax pills and swallowed them

  Washed them down with three shots of vodka

  Tears were streaming down my face. I felt so lonely, like I didn’t belong anywhere. I felt so crazy like I couldn’t control myself.

  “You messed up...you messed up real bad,” I said to myself. I rocked back and forth with my knees to my chest, on the floor in the corner of my room. I took another swig of Vodka.

  I was so confused about everything that had just happened. After I had left the restaurant and followed Whitney home, she ended up leaving out of her house almost immediately. I tried to follow her down the highway, but I lost sight of her and I decided to go back to her apartment complex and wait for her there. After waiting for some time, she came back home and strangely Naomi showed up and they started fighting. I wanted to get out of the car and help Naomi, but I knew it would be extremely strange if I just showed up out of nowhere. So I sat and watched until Naomi got away.

  I felt so bad for Naomi. She looked so scared as that crazy bitch tried to attack her. Naomi had done nothing wrong. I was sure Naomi had come to confront her about sleeping with Marcus. Naomi’s comments repeated in my head, “Marcus is just being Marcus.” That was Naomi's way of telling me that she already knew about his cheating and scandalous ways, but was too embarrassed to tell me bluntly. That made me feel even more terrible about sleeping with him. Marcus used me.

  I decided right then and there to get that dirty bitch Whitney back for hurting my friend; for hurting my sister Naomi. I followed Whitney back to the restaurant and I ran her over; just plowed through her like she was a deer in the road. I didn’t think about it I just did it, and now I couldn’t take it back.

 

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