As Jason pulled up outside her place she jumped out mouthing to him ‘to take your time” which he smiled, nodding in acknowledgement. He proceeded to park the car up and finish his conversation.
Rebecca couldn’t get her keys in the door quick enough. She was fumbling like a 13 year old boy with his first bra. She had dropped the keys twice yelling ‘shit’ on both occasions before actually opening both the flat doors.
She threw the grocery bag on the kitchen counter and made for the bathroom upstairs, nearly falling up the stairs, the pregnancy testing kit box grasped firmly in her hand.
She ran into the bathroom locking the door behind her. Rebecca hoisted her pencil skirt up, and pulled her panties down. She sat on the toilet and started to try to desperately open the wrapper of the plastic film surrounding the box.
“Fuck it,” she yelled.
The rip cord thingy broke as they always do so she put the box to her mouth tearing at it with her teeth franticly like a savage. She laughed to herself ‘God if anyone saw me doing this, they’d think I was mental’, I must look like a deranged nutter sitting here.
By now she really wanted to pee. She had been drinking buckets at work for the task that was in hand.
“Oh shit, shit, shit” she cried as the box fell, narrowly missing the gap in the bowl made by her legs by millimeters before catching it with both hands. She was all fingers and thumbs with the nerves, she didn’t know when Jason would be finished with his call and back in the flat.
She quickly reread the instructions, placing the stick between her legs and peed. She had no sooner finished when she heard Jason put his key’s down on the sideboard downstairs.
She quickly placed the lid on the stick, flushed the loo and sat on the edge of the bath waiting for the test to develop while her eyes fixated to her watch.
The test still hadn’t developed when she heard Jason’s footsteps coming up the stairs.
“You OK?” he shouted.
Before she knew it, he was knocking on the still locked door. She sat there deep in thought remembering their first weekend together. They had talked very openly and honestly about what they wanted from life. He had said that he wanted to be 100% honest with her in every way.
He wanted to start as he meant to go on, she has said the same but when the conversation came up about children she avoided it like the plague. She knew it was a painful subject for him.
Jason had been seeing a girl for a year or so when he found out she had aborted his baby without him knowing. He had only found out when she drunkenly told him in an argument. It had been the straw that broke the camel’s back for him. They had finished, he was devastated but because of the abortion not the break-up.
Rebecca remembered that time very well. They had spoken many times about it. He did want kids, she knew that. But it was just too soon. They hadn’t even been seeing each other long although they had known each other years.
Rebecca was a career girl, hence the way she had escaped having no babies with David for all those seven years, thank God. At least she would never be tied to him due to a child. She had made sure she was on the pill and had been since after the first 8 months of dating him. She hadn’t stopped taking it.
No career all the way for her no babies for her or was it that she really knew David wasn’t the guy for her all along. Some of her friends had babies, was her subconscious screaming at her not with him?
She had NEVER missed her pill, that’s why the no babies. She thought and thought. She never over drank so that she would be drunk or sick so that the pill never worked and they used condoms quite often due to his infidelities so how could this happen ...and then it hit her. She had been sick the weekend of the break-up.
Rebecca checked the result...
“I’m coming,” she replied throwing the stick into the bottom of her bathroom bin after checking the result a dozen times.
‘Maybe I should do the other one just to make sure’ she deliberated... Just to be sure...
She washed her hands and opened the door; she was surprised and nearly jumped out of her skin to an awaiting Jason beaming at her.
Jason pulled her close to him; she could smell his after-shave. “Mmmmmm,” she moaned nuzzling into his neck.
Melting in his strong arms, she had missed him even though he was only gone for a night this time.
Jason hugged her tight.
“Missed you,” he said pulling her to his lips, with his hand stroking her hair behind her ear. “Missed you lots and lots,” he said gazing adoringly in her eyes.
“I have to start dinner,” she said trying to break the hold his gaze had on her.
He made her weak at the knees at the best of times, but when he was in a suit and she would be completely helpless as he was a ‘hunk and a half’ as Lucy would call him in a suit.
“I have to go,” she playfully fought him off with him still trying to kiss her as she tried to go down the stairs.
“You wait till I come down,” he joked and with that he went into the bathroom.
She was heading down the stairs when she suddenly remembered in horror...‘The Bin!’
Consumed with fear, she made her way into the kitchen not knowing what to do with herself. She washed her hands again, before pulling herself together and turning on the meat grill. She was taking out the steaks readying them for the grill when she heard Jason coming down the stairs.
Rebecca threw the steaks on the hot plate and started to prepare the vegetables. She was so nervous and tried to hide it by busying herself,
God, she couldn’t even look at him keeping her eyes focused on the grill. Jason had walked into the kitchen and was behind her kissing the back of her neck to her ear.
“Missed you so much,” he said wrapping his arm around her waist whilst snuggling her and giving her a gentle squeeze, “So missed you.”
He was kissing her, she could feel him pressing into her. Rebecca turned slowly into him to be met by a soft long passionate kiss.
Jason stepped back, smiling looking at her. She was distracted; she could see something in his hand. What was it? “OH NO!” She thought.
“Is this what I think it is?” He asked beaming holding the test in front of her with the result window facing the ground.
“Yes it is,” she cried as she fell into his arms sobbing.
“When did you do this?” He asked, stroking her back. He was glad she couldn’t see his face drop with the worry as the thought of ‘what if it was David’s’ flooded his mind. Then he remembered her saying that ‘her and David had not been close for some time’ and with that his handsome smile returned.
Jason hugged her gently, he could feel her heart racing and all he wanted to do was to reassure her. Her voice trembled with her reply. “Today...just now,” she responded through the sobs.
“I...I...I’m...it says…” She bumbled; she just couldn’t get the words out.
Jason looked like he was holding his breath. He had not seen the result, he just saw the test and grabbed it in excitement and his eagerness to get to Rebecca.
He stood there waiting for her to tell him...
“I only done the one maybe I should do the other one,” she continued. “Thank god...I’m not!”
Rebecca looked at Jason. “I know it was stupid I got myself into a right state as you can see. Well I don’t know why I was worrying, it’s not like we don’t use protection, is it? I mean we use condoms ALL the time so I don’t know why I was worrying,” she said, trying to convince herself.
And that’s when she saw the look on Jason’s face. She knew that look all too well. It was the look of guilt.
David had the same guilty face...
“What’s with the look?” She asked puzzled.
Yes, Jason had a guilty face. He remembered the morning of the night after he and David had fought. He knew he shouldn’t have cum, or at least he should have withdrawn. But he hadn’t, he had let the moment overtake him and she had obviously been worried abou
t the outcome of the test. He had to tell her... And tell her he did.
She stood there starring in pure disbelief at the words she was hearing, she looked at him with disgust...
”How could you?” She shouted. “How could you? You made that choice without me knowing. What if I had been pregnant?” She roared.
“It’s not like that Becs,” he pleaded. “I was caught in the moment, you don’t understand.”
Jason turned to her. “Would it be such a bad thing?” His handsome face imploring her.
Rebecca had now distanced herself from him to the other side of the room. Jason walked to her with open arms to take her into an embrace. She shrugged him off and stormed away from him, into the living room still shouting.
“I feel like I’ve been violated! You took a choice from me ...YOU... You through caution into the wind when you did that. I can’t believe you did that, Jason.” She looked at him disgusted.
Although he didn’t like what she was shouting at him, he knew she was right. Before she knew she had said it, she screamed, “Well I can see I’ve had a close escape from you. Is that why Jane your ex had did it? Did you trick her too?”
Jason’s face dropped at her words, she knew instantly she shouldn’t have gone there. Anger had overcome her beautiful blue eyes.
Jason stood there looking very wounded at her cruel words. She knew she had hit him where it hurt, but she stood tall, indignant.
She abruptly folded her arms defiantly, “I think you should go Jason” she said, as her eyes averted to the direction of the door, “and don’t let it hit you on the way out.”
Jason stared at her in disbelief.
“How could you say that to me?” Jason grabbed his suit jacket from the arm of the couch, where he had left it just earlier.
Jason took a final look at her; she had really hurt him and it showed. He grabbed his keys and left closing the door behind him, leaving Rebecca still standing there defiantly tapping her foot.
“Fuck it,” she said and picked up her phone. She pressed the call button...
”Lucy...have you had dinner yet?...Good...I have fillet steak. What have you got planned for us tonight lets go out and PLAY.”
She started to try to reassure herself that she had done the right thing, and then she copped herself on thinking ‘Sod that for a game of solders...she’d done the Good Girl thing for too long and where did that get her?...A Drunken Woman Basher and a Guy who wants to sow his seed like old Mac Donald...Nah...She was going to do what Lucy was doing...And that was to start living for her and not because of a man. And the sooner she started the better…
Chapter 12
‘Coming around again’
Lucy sat on the edge of Rebecca’s bed shocked,
”You said what to him,” her mouth dropping with every word that fell out of Rebecca’s mouth.
“Oh Rebecca that was a bit harsh,” Lucy scolded, “Rebecca Keane, that was low…like really low Rebecca,” Lucy said shaking her head with disapproval.
“What did he say?” She waited for Rebecca’s answer.
“He didn’t,” she said. “He just left and when he did, he looked like I stabbed him through the heart.”
Rebecca felt her heart lurch. She was already missing him and it must have shown on her face.
Lucy knew it wasn’t the time to tell her what she thought. Rebecca had handled this wrong. Jason was the guy she should have been with all along. She had never understood when she had dropped his hand and went off with that plank David. She hated David with a passion and she had her reasons. But Jason was lovely, perfect in every way she couldn’t fault him at all. She thought that
Rebecca had made a huge mistake, but now was not the time When Lucy piped up
“I have my name down in all the clubs. Where do you fancy going or better still, we can club hop if you’re up for that. Or we can go to a gig? There’s a fantastic old soul eight piece blues band. Or do you fancy a bit of rock? I can cater for all your needs.” She purred.
“We need music to get us in the mood.” Her fingers slowly spinning round the disc of Rebecca’s IPod.
“Ahhh, here we go,” and with that Tempole Tudors ‘Swords of a thousand men’ started pumping out as the two girls started to get ready.
“We should really be standing in front of your wardrobes.” Rebecca laughed at her humble offerings.
“That will tell you, look all bloody suits for work,” running her hands through the endless stream of work clothes. “See proof I didn’t have a life. We really need to go shopping. Let’s go tomorrow.”
“Ok, “Lucy replied. “Then let’s stay local. There’s a Pub that has live music. It’s a bit of a shit hole. It even has a sticky carpet, but it’s a great night out and it’s near to you and we can wear our jeans and T’s and we’re sorted. Plus they have some great bands I promise you it will be a fantastic night.” She smiled a big cheesy grin.
Before they went out Lucy wanted to put some ground rules in. She poured them a glass each of J.D. and cokes ,as they sat and discussed the rules they thought were compulsory no matter what they would have these to protect themselves.
Basically, they were like code words for getting out of a situation. There were different words for different things. Such as, if getting bored with the company they were with.
If you can get your drinks bought for you, why not? Just don’t forget your buddy, and that’s the most important ‘Never forget your buddy’ we go everywhere together; you go...I go etc.
No going off with strangers. Even when you make dates, your buddy knows where you’re going and always protect yourself.
There was never a rule for coveting a bloke. That had always been an unspoken rule they both took seriously. No man was ever worth their friendship especially now.
Before they went out the door, Lucy turned to Rebecca. “Remember this is not a place where you’re going to meet Mr. Right. You’re only going to meet Mr. Right Now. These guys travel. They have itchy feet and eventually they go home. So, ‘Don’t!’ fall for any of them. They are only playthings. They are NOT for keeps. They will promise you the moon for a night with you. They have an Aussey rules football team and I’ve seen stupid girls be passed around them like the ball, if you know what I’m saying. You’re going to meet some really great, hot looking men, and some with great personalities. But always remember they go home! I’m probably bringing you into the Lion’s Den but if you can handle this young lady, you can handle anything. It’s like a meat market in there. It’s a great practice arena,” she laughed. “You up for it?” As Rebecca nodded, she began wondering what the hell she was getting herself into.
And with that they were gone.
Rules for ‘Partners in crime’
1. We stay together – Not matter what!
2. If someone wants’ to buy you a drink – Let them, and they must buy one for your buddy!
3. Buddy’s first
4. No judgment - just have fun
Their destination was not far from Rebecca. She was surprised she’d hadn’t heard of it before. But then again she was more than happy to have stayed in, waiting at home for David to come in.
She had been off the market for so many years…it was a different world now.
How to Catch Butterflies Page 11