Chapter Four
Ramona and Jesse
I’ve never been “that girl” not until tonight. Everyone is talking to me, smiling, buying me drinks. I’m not used to being the center of attention. It’s exhilarating. Jesse has been at my side most of the night. I never imagined playing a show with him. I never imagined playing a show period. I never thought we would spend this much time together. It’s not easy to be so close to him and breathe normally.
Jesse has shiny dark hair that falls to his shoulders. He keeps it back in a low ponytail. Sometimes a little hair will come undone and fall along one side of his face. I love when that happens. I love when he is playing the guitar and he tosses his head to remove the hair from his face. He has intense, dark brown eyes, full lips, chiseled jaw and beautifully tan skin. He is tall. I’d guess at least 6’2 or 6’3, about a foot taller than me. He seems to dart his eyes around the room all the time. It’s hard to say if he is noticing nothing or everything. When his eyes do land on me steadily it feels as though I might melt his gaze is so heavy, so intense. Jesse is dark and swarthy like a gypsy or a pirate from an old romance novel. He would be a perfect Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights.
Here I am sitting next to a guitar god in front of a crowd of people and I can’t stop sweating. It’s the alcohol, nerves and the fact that this small bar is packed. The temperature has doubled since I got here at nine thirty. I wonder what it must be like to command the crowd like Leslie. She doesn’t seem the least bit nervous. Leslie seems to love it in fact. She is good at it. Everyone loves her. I’m so hungry. I wonder if there is an IHOP nearby. Focus Ramona they’re ready to play another song. What song was that? I missed it. Crap. Panic, no be cool and just ask Jesse what Leslie said we are playing next.
“What was that?” I casually ask hoping I am not glistening with sweat.
“Fuck You, you know by Cee-Lo Green.” Jesse says before counting us off.
On break before the last set Jesse asks me if I like to sing. The truth is I do but I just don’t think I can bring myself to sing in front of an audience. I explain this and he says he is sure I am too modest. I promise I am not that just because I like singing doesn’t mean I’m good at it. He winks at me walking off to the bar and says over his shoulder, “We’ll see about that.”
I notice Jesse talking to Leslie at the bar and a huge grin spreads across her face and she slaps him playfully on the shoulder. They both laugh and high five and I’m curious what this is about. Leslie sees me over Jesse’s shoulder and lifts her drink smiling at me. She gestures and calls me to come over. I walk over hesitantly. Leslie calls out loudly to the bartender that we need some shots. I’m smiling simply because I’m amused and I have no idea what’s going on. When the shot’s arrive Jesse passes them out and Leslie raises hers first then we follow.
“Here’s to Ramona’s stage debut!” Leslie shouts excitedly to the crowd of people around us.
I attempt to clink glasses and drink but Leslie continues her toast. Pulling my glass back down and hoping they didn’t notice I hear Leslie say, “Ramona will be singing in the last set tonight!”
The bar cheers and Leslie and Jesse whistle cat calls. I stare mouth agape as Jesse and Leslie tap their shots and clink them into mine. The dark haired bartender looks pissed. I wonder what her problem is. She isn’t getting ambushed into singing.
What? What the hell just happened? Did she say Ramona?
I make an effort to close my mouth and pretend not to be terrified. Jesse and Leslie are so composed, so completely comfortable with the spot light. It makes me feel more like an ant under a magnifying glass on hot day in August.
I smile uncomfortably panicking inside taking note of the nearest exit. Jesse leans down and whispers into my ear, “Don’t look so terrified. You’re gonna be amazing.” Obviously I’m not doing a good job pretending.
No. This can’t be happening.
“What songs do you want to sing?” Leslie asks.
“What? Songs? Ummmm….I have no idea.” I stammer.
“How cute! She is adorable Jesse.” Leslie says laughing as she heads back to the front.
“The breaks almost over so you should choose some songs and have another drink.” Jesse says.
“I can’t sing in front of all these people! I just can’t. I think I’m having a stroke. Is my eye twitching?” I say panicking.
Jesse grabs me by the shoulders and says, “You will be great. Just breathe.”
Jesse’s deep brown eyes are so sweet, so sincere. He has so much faith in me and all I can think is…Breathe? That’s his advice to me? You breathe.
When the break is over I force my legs to walk me up to the front and take my seat. Leslie sings a couple songs and I think maybe they forgot. No such luck. Leslie announces to the bar that I will be singing next. She pulls out her tablet and shows me the song that I will be singing. It’s a duet. I look up at her confused and she points to Jesse. Then I smile mischievously looking at him. It’s his to turn to be put on the spot. He just laughs shrugging and he whispers to me, “I’ll sing for the chance to hear you sing.”
Wow. That was pretty hot.
A small drum comes out and Leslie plays it while Jesse plays guitar. The music starts; there is no keyboard in this song. The song Jesse and I sing is called Shy that way by Tristan Prettyman. It’s a pretty good song choice for the situation on Leslie’s part. I feel nervous and my voice is a bit shaky at first but once Jesse does his verse I’m feeling better. He sings looking at me occasionally and it’s amazing. Next it’s my turn to sing alone. I choose Crazy for you by Adele hoping Jesse will understand it’s for him.
We finished the last set without me embarrassing myself. I’m sad the night has come to an end so soon. I wonder if I will ever play with Jesse again. The bar is slowly emptying as the staff ushers everyone to the door wishing them a safe journey home. People stop and tell me how much they enjoyed my songs and I thank them while trying not to blush.
I close my tab and watch as Jesse packs up the equipment. I’m not sure why I linger. I guess I’m hoping for something. What I’m not sure. I guess I’m not ready to go back to my empty apartment just yet. It’s been four days and I haven’t heard from Scott. I’m ready for something more, a relationship or maybe a pet. I guess I hoped that Scott might turn into something more. Why am I thinking about Scott? I’m standing here staring at this beautiful man and Scott doesn’t even matter anymore. I have had a crush on Jesse for at least a year now. Jesse just takes up too much space in my head. I should ask him to get pancakes with me. I wonder if he likes pancakes. I’m not sure if we can be together if he doesn’t. Who am I kidding? Look at that face and those arms and when he plays two guitars at once…sigh. Geez! It’s warm in here.
After I psych myself up I finally walk over instead of staring like a weirdo. Jesse quickly whips around like he saw me coming and I go into deer in the headlights mode. I freeze and forget what I’m supposed to ask. Food, ask him to go eat with you Ramona.
“Hey Ramona, I was wondering if you want to grab a bite to eat with me after I get this stuff loaded into my car. My treat, what do you say?” Jesse asks before I can.
Did he just read my mind? I can’t stop smiling like an idiot. YES! A thousand times YES!
“Yeah, that sounds good.” I answer calmly. “I was just thinking about pancakes actually.” I say quietly while he is picking up his guitar case.
“What? I didn’t catch all of that.” says Jesse.
“What? Oh, I said I’ll wait for you by my car.” I say heading to the door.
I need to dig through my purse for deodorant and perfume. I should check my makeup too. I bet its run all down my face. I head outside and get in my car opening the visor to use the mirror. I quickly apply a little powder and rub away the mascara that smeared a under my eyes. I put on a little lip stain and Chap Stick because I’m addicted. Now where is that deodorant I keep on hand for when I forget to put it on before leaving the house? Not in my purse
, I must have put it in the glove box. I finally locate the deodorant and some perfume. I’m good. Wait, what about my breath? I pop some gum into my mouth and I get back out of my car and lean against it very casually. The metal is cool against my skin where my jeans and shirt separate just a little. Looking around it’s the perfect night. The sky is dark blue and it smells like summer; flowers, fresh cut grass and dew.
I hear a trunk slam shut in the distance and the sound of footsteps moving towards me in the dark, nearly empty parking lot. Jesse comes walking up to me and I’m suddenly finding it hard to breathe again. I instinctively begin to smooth my wild hair, nervous habit I guess.
“Ready?” Jesse asks.
“Yes.” I reply
“There’s an IHOP not too far from here or a Café Brazil. Do you have a preference?” He asks.
“Not at all, how about I follow you?” I suggest.
“Ok, I’m right over here in the Focus. See you there.” He says smiling.
When we pull up to the café there’s a small group of people congregating outside. It’s about three in the morning and the bar crowd is beginning to thin out a little. Jesse and I meet in the parking lot just in front of the door and walk in together. A waitress greets us and leads us to a curved booth in the corner. The curved booth forces us to sit next to each other instead of across. We slide into the booth and I scoot just around the corner of the table and Jesse sits cattycorner to me so there is a small space between us. I’m feeling a little nervous being so close to Jesse alone in the café. There’s only inches between us, I clasp my hands tightly in my lap prevent myself from reaching out to touch his skin. He’s too close, filling more than his share of space, using all my oxygen, and all I can breathe is him. He smells dark and moody, like patchouli and suede, yet warm and sensual, like burnt sugar and orange blossom all at once. I wonder if he tastes as good as he smells, and I want to lick him. He smells like a moonlit summer night, a dark and still pond nestled in a cedar cove. I want to dive in.
“Hi! Here are some menus. Can I get you guys anything to drink? Coffees perhaps?” a waitress asks.
“I’ll have a coffee and water please.” Jesse says gesturing towards me.
“Yes, coffee and water for me too, thanks.” I say beginning to peruse the menu.
“What looks good?” Jesse asks.
“I definitely want pancakes.” I say smiling. “What about you?”
“I think pancakes and eggs sound good.”
“Eww eggs!” I say sticking out my tongue.
“What? You don’t like eggs?” Jesse asks surprised.
“No way!” I answer.
“That’s weird.” He says sticking his tongue out at me mockingly.
“I don’t eat cheese either.” I say ready for the shocked response everyone always has.
He just laughs and says, “You’re a strange one Ramona.”
I like the way the rich, deep tones of his voice bend around my name. He usually looks so serious, so moody especially when he plays. It’s nice to see his eyes bright and laughing even briefly. He excuses himself to use the restroom after we order. I use the opportunity to check my phone. I forgot about it all night. Scott’s name is the first thing I see, a text sent at two am.
Really? That’s the best he can do. A booty call four days after we had sex. Wow. Scott’s message reads “Hey beautiful! Sorry I didn’t text sooner, just really busy week. I’d love to see you. Want to come over tonight?”
No Scott I am busy. I don’t want to come over in the middle of the night to service you. You will have to try harder buddy. Jesse sits back down at our table interrupting the response to Scott I am planning in my head. I put my phone away without replying.
“Ramona I just want to say wow. You have an amazing voice. I can’t believe you don’t sing all the time. I would love to have you play with me for acoustic Sundays every week.”
“Thank you! Wow, that’s a huge compliment. I don’t know what to say Jesse.”
“Say yes.”
I smiles so big my cheeks hurt and I say, “Yes, I would absolutely love to sing with you!”
Looking up at Jesse and feeling bold I say, “So Jesse, tell me something I don’t know about you.”
“Something you don’t know, hmmm. I went to culinary school. I used to be a chef at Benihana.” says Jesse.
“Wow! You must be a fantastic cook. How did you go from chef to full time musician?” I ask.
“Actually I have a daughter. I was young and I needed to do something to support her so I went to culinary school. Also I thought it would be a good idea to have something to fall back on in case the whole music thing didn’t pan out financially. As for how I went from one to the other, I was always playing shows whenever I could. Eventually it led to being able to make a living doing what I love so I gave up cooking.” He explained hesitantly eyes darting again.
It’s so obvious when he is uncomfortable.
“It’s your turn to tell me something I don’t know about you.” Jesse says smiling his gaze steady again.
“Whatever do you mean? I mentioned my distaste for cheese.” I say joking, “Kidding. Let’s see…. I majored in music in college. I was in band and choir all through middle school, high school and college. I read a lot. Some of my most serious relationships have been with fictional characters.” I stop realizing I said too many things.
“Are you in any serious relationships now?” he asks playfully.
“Nothing serious, no.” I answer smiling. I take the opportunity and turn it on him. “Are you in any serious relationships?”
Jesse tilts his head and raises an eyebrow. “I’m in no serious relationships.” He replies.
I wonder if we both know we aren’t talking about books. I think so.
Chapter Five
Jesse and Ramona
Outside the moon is slowly giving way to sun and we stand near Ramona’s car in the parking lot. The streets are nearly empty. It seems neither of us is ready for the night to be over but the sunrise feels differently. It’s coming slowly. I stand in front of her with my hands in my pockets as she sits on the trunk. I want to say something, anything to make the night last. She just looks up at the sky like she is perfectly content to stay here in silence. I try not to stare. The humidity is causing her curls to grow and I love it. I love that she hates it. She has no idea how pretty she is.
I lean against the trunk close enough for my arm to brush her jeans. I feel her more than see her turn her head and look at me. Do something Jesse, say something. Tiny fingers touch the side of my neck and it feels like an electric shock. Ramona is running her hands through some of the hair that got loose from my ponytail. I smile casually and turn slightly away from her reach touching the same place she just did. I look up at her quickly from under my brow and kick my shoes at some loose gravel.
Ramona hops down from the trunk and suddenly I’m afraid she will say she needs to go or she is tired. I swiftly step towards her and I begin to speak but lose my words. Now I’m standing so close to her I can smell her perfume. Amber.
Words escape my mouth without thought as I breathe in the scent of amber and night air.
“Where have you been?” I say softly in the darkness between us.
Ramona looks up at me seductively from under her side bangs fallen in front of her eyes.
“Right here,” she answers me.
“No, I mean…never mind.” I say believing she knows just what I mean.
Ramona smiles at me with her eyes blazing. I catch myself licking my lips and without thinking I find my arms pulling her towards me. I hold her against my body for a moment before I pick her up and place her back on the truck. I want her face closer to mine. She looks at me, waiting. I hesitate letting my nerves get the best of me but just for second. Deciding there is no more room tonight for over thinking I swiftly move between her knees and cup her face in my hands. I lean down until our heads are touching and we are breathing each other’s air.
Our eyes are closed at first then open and I’m looking right in her eyes and then at her full cherry colored lips. I place a small kiss on her mouth parting my lips just to feel her bottom lip between my own. I pull back looking at her porcelain face and her mouth opens slightly. I kiss her gently on the mouth, our tongues slipping delicately around each other. Her small hands are on my chest, on my arms, in my hair. My hands are on her waist and then sliding up her shirt cupping her breasts and then her neck. We can’t do this here in this empty parking lot. I need to stop before I can’t help myself. I pull away and look around to see if anyone is out. No one I can see. We are parked in the back of the building and a bushy tree blocks the view from the road. I should say goodnight but who can tell Ramona no? My heart is pounding as I stare into her eyes glowing like two honey moons.
Ramona scoots forward pressing against my cock. I can’t help myself. I push right back. She slowly leans back against the back windshield and I kiss from her neck down. When my mouth finds the fabric of her shirt my hands yank her top down. She leans up on her elbows to unclasp her bra and slide it off her arms. I see her naked breasts in the fading light of the moon and I catch my breath. Her long auburn hair looks like fire against her alabaster skin. I run my hands through her curls and then down her soft pale skin.
My hands massage her breasts until I have to suck one of her pink nipples into my mouth. She moans softly and I need to make her do it again. I have to. She sits up and I can feel her hands on me again. Ramona is grabbing at the bulge in my jeans and I have to shut my eyes to remain in control. We can’t do this here. It’s already gone too far. Her hands fumble then succeed at my button and zipper. I’m sucking and biting at her neck as her hands wrap around my hard cock.
She gasps saying, “Wow, I’ve honestly never seen a dick so big before.”
Dallas after Dark Page 3