Erik had always expected Jonathan to be mad at him for whatever had happened between him and Fanny, yet the old man had never let him feel that he was a disappointment to him.
"Now, you act as if I was the only one to be blamed. We both were young and both wanted to have careers and success. We both did not understand the blessing that a child could've been for us," he said, his voice was thick with emotions. For all these years Erik had never allowed himself to cry over his lost baby. Now, all of those memories weighted so heavy on him, he knew they could crush him.
He wasn't sure what he expected Fanny to say. She remained silent for several long moments. It was unbearable. He could hear his heartbeat—loud and heavy. He would've preferred that useless muscle in his chest to fail him and stop instead of causing so much pain. More than anything, Erik feared that she'd now turn and walk out of his life for good. He had no right to let his frustration take over him. His words were harsh and now, once they were out, there was no turning back.
Another moment passed. Stephanie just stared at him—her eyes unreadable, stupefied and motionless. He wasn't even sure she was breathing.
Another blink, and then she launched forward and threw herself into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist, digging her fingers into his skin, clenching so tightly, as if some unknown power was going to tear her apart from him and carry her away. He felt his shirt get soaked with her tears. Same tears now were running down his face. Their tangled bodies shook uncontrollably with overwhelming emotions taking over them.
"I needed you to hold me tight and never let me go," she whispered to him. "I waited for years but you never showed up..."
*****
Tangled, their bodies were trembling so violently, Stephanie was not even sure anymore who was supporting who. Erik's legs gave up first, and he slowly sank to his knees. Stephanie followed him, kneeling right in front of him, still holding him in an embrace. She was not ready to let go of him yet. Not when it had taken so long to finally scream out all that pain that had been gnawing at her heart for all those years.
Now, she could think about only one thing that calmed her—his breathing that puffed against the side of her face, his heartbeat that was slowly becoming even again, the salty taste of his tears that she could feel on her lips.
"Hold me, please," she whispered again and again. "I hated you so much all these years. I thought if you were there, we would've been able to save her. Yet, I know there was no chance for her to live."
The idea that he'd pull away for her was too painful. For the first time in so many years, she could not only share her grief but feel that someone felt that dark emptiness in her heart that had been caused by their loss. For the first time in all these years, she knew that this burden, this heavy guilt was not only hers. He shared and carried it with her. For once, she did not feel so broken and empty.
He did not say a word. She could feel how hard it was for him to find the right words. His fingers caressed her back in slow, circular motions and she knew there were thousands of thoughts in his head that he could not voice. Her own throat felt heavy, as if a lump was there that blocked her words.
Her vision was blurry with tears but when she looked into his eyes, the darkness and emptiness she saw before were gone. brightened with shiny drops of tears, a pair of piercing brown eyes looked at her. The storm that had been tormenting both of them for years was finally calming down.
Now, when all the words and accusations were out, they would need to learn how to deal with what was lying ahead of them.
Stephanie's eyes felt so heavy. She closed them and squeezed, hoping to stop the urge of pouring out more tears. She felt his lips touch her skin. He kissed the drying tears down her cheeks, taking away the salty traces they had left.
His lips felt harder. She could feel calluses caused by many hours spent in the sun. She loved the rough sensation they left on her skin. He continued peppering kisses on her face—her eyes, her nose and her temple until he reached for her mouth. He hesitated for a moment.
"Kiss me, Rick," she whispered. She could feel his scent on her lips - that maddeningly familiar breath she had never forgotten. The years, the anger and heartbreak had never erased the taste of him from her lips. Many a night she had dreamed about feeling those lips pressed to her mouth again.
Erik's lips were only an inch away from hers. Losing her patience, Stephanie leaned forward claiming his mouth. They shared a long and deep kiss—the one that tasted so bittersweet. All those mixed emotions were put into that kiss.
She pulled her mouth away only when she was completely out of breath. For several minutes, Stephanie did not dare to open her eyes and look at him. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his and stayed in comforting silence.
"I need you, Fanny," Erik finally spoke. His voice raw with all the emotions mixed in it.
"I'm yours. Take me," she whispered without any hesitation. She knew well she had been fooling herself for all these years, pretending she had forgotten him. Nothing could've broken the connection the two of them shared since childhood. No heartbreak could erase her feelings for him while her heart was still capable of beating.
Erik's hands moved up and down her back - caressing her, setting her body on fire. His lips were still so close to hers. She hoped for another kiss. Instead, his mouth landed a bit lower, kissing her jaw and throat, nibbling and sucking on her tender skin.
"Is this all real? Am I really holding you in my arms, Fanny?" he whispered to her. He tilted his head to look into her eyes and Stephanie smiled - underneath this hunky body there was still the timid soul of the young boy she had once fallen in love with.
"Yes, it's all real. I missed hearing you call me Fanny," she confessed. "Only you and Grandpa have called me that annoying pet name."
He chuckled. The tension between them was gone. Through tears, he smiled at her. "We both knew you hated it. But it suits you so much. Actually, Jonathan encouraged me not to give up and keep on calling you Fanny. He said that despite all your glaring and frowning, your eyes shined when I called you that name. Your grandpa was a wise man."
"And he always supported you so much," Stephanie ran her fingers through his messy hair. He still was on bad turns with his hairbrush - she suspected.
Erik pulled her closer into his arms and as they wrapped their arms tightly around each other, Stephanie felt the hard bulge in his pants poke against her body.
God, she had missed all of this. No man could make her so mad and so excited at the same time. She never desired anyone with such maddening passion. Her trembling fingers slid down his body and cupped his bulge. He jerked - responding to her touch. She could feel him grow bigger and harder in her hand. She couldn't bear another moment of this torture. More than anything else, Stephanie needed their bodies to become one. That was the only time she felt complete and safe from all the hardships in the world.
She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants pulling them down to his knees. She gasped as the beautiful, massive cock sprung out. He had grown so much bigger now. Biting her lip with excitement, she ran her fingers up and down his shaft, feeling his blood rush through his veins and the member grow even larger enjoying the touch of her fingers.
Bringing one leg in front of him, he pulled her even closer to him. She was filled with the warmth of his body. Erik easily peeled away her worn denim pants and ripped off her panties. One finger probed her slit and Stephanie moaned. She was dripping wet down there. So much for all these years of missing him.
That one intruding finger rubbed her clit spreading her juices. He still remembered how she loved it—slow and tender—teasing and driving her mad with desire. Stephanie's body shuddered. This was too much - emotions and sensations were mixed into a storm that was fueled by raw love and anger that both shared.
Stephanie leaned closer and with her trembling lips captured his mouth in another deep kiss. With her one hand, she slowly directed his thick cock toward her opening and eased him in
to her wet pussy. Her insides quivered, adjusting to his girth. Placing her hands on his hard chest, she could almost touch his heart and feel the even rhythm of his heartbeats.
Looking into her eyes, Erik started thrusting into her. He moved very slow, letting her feel the thrill of being one body and tangled into each other's arms, realizing how incomplete and lonely they had been for such a long time.
So much still unspoken and untold between them. Yet, this was the time when their bodies were the ones to talk and the words meant nothing—only sensations, only deep thrusts, and caresses could express all those powerful feelings that had possessed them. She took all of him in—her true Erik - shy and at times silly, rough and brutal in his raw expressions, yet painfully honest. He was the man who could love blindly and be stubborn enough not to abandon the love even when she hated him.
His thrusts grew deeper and she responded to them, rocking her bottom and pushing into him, taking him all the way in. With the ground biting at her knees, Stephanie let passion take over them and enjoyed the rough and fast lovemaking. She'd want it to never end, never face the reality that existed outside this little garden and the pool. Everything felt so simple and natural when their bodies were connected. She felt powerful and no weight of heavy decisions could crush her down.
Their gazes melted into one another. He thrust into her like there was no tomorrow. Stephanie did hope that “tomorrow” was never to come and she'd never be forced to make a decision that could separate them again. All she needed was to have his lips sealed to hers, his arms holding her in their strong embrace and his cock buried into her - in the place where it belonged. Their hearts beat as one and after moments of maddening jerky thrusts, they both found release - together. He screamed her name as she called his. Then he kissed her again and all the sounds died around them. For a moment, as her body was shaking with the aftershocks of her orgasm, Stephanie felt her ears were blocked and all the sounds muffled.
Then, he heard someone's approaching footsteps and Erik's name being called. Her mind still clouded, Stephanie tried to quickly cover her naked body before a young farm boy appeared. He stopped to catch his breath - apparently so exhausted, that he did not even realize what he was interrupting.
"Been looking for ya everywhere, boss. We need ya at the stables. The horse, the old one, is giving birth. The vet is here but seems it's not doing good. She's old and we might lose both the horse and the foal," the boy spoke quickly and it took a moment for Stephanie to make sense of his rushed words.
"I'm coming right away," Erik said, jumping up. He paused and turned to look at Stephanie. "I must go, Fanny. I'll be back as soon as I can and we can talk..."
He found his pants and quickly shove them up his legs. The boy, only now noticing their nakedness, gasped in surprise.
"Wait, I want to help," Stephanie spoke before she could think twice. How was she going to help? She understood nothing in horses. A scene of a dying horse and her newly born foal did not sound like something she could handle.
"Fanny, it's Green Ear, it might be too much for you to handle," he shook his hand, looking away. They both knew what that heavy silence meant. Too much to remind her of her own loss. Too many emotions that could simply crush her. Green Ear had always been her favorite horse.
Stephanie rose to her feet and took his hand into hers, lacing their fingers. "Then we should hurry to save them."
*****
Everything had happened so fast the last night. Erik was still processing all of that and trying to figure out where all those events left them now. First, he had provoked Stephanie to unleash all the anger that they had been keeping locked inside them for years. Then, the maddeningly intimate lovemaking - he had never thought he'd touch those lips ever again, let alone be one with her. And as if all of it was not enough, staying up all night in the stables saving the horse and its foal. He knew how emotional all of it had been for Fanny to watch. She had been holding Green Ear and talking to her for hours while Erik and the veterinarian were trying to get the foal out unharmed. And then, she insisted on holding the newborn float in her arms and didn't want to leave it even when she could hardly keep her eyes open because of exhaustion.
So much for one night. Now, he was on his way back from the stable. He had come to check on the horse and made sure everything was fine. He was on his way to the farmhouse to see Stephanie.
What if she thought everything that had happened last night was a mistake, a momentary weakness of flesh that needed to be forgotten. He wasn't sure he could lose her again. Not after finding her back after so many years.
He heard Fanny's voice coming from the kitchen but paused before entering. She was talking to her Nana and as much as Erik hated to eavesdrop on other people's conversations, he couldn't resist it.
"Stephanie, darling, I'm so happy you finally found that peace inside you. It pained me seeing how tormented you were back in the city," Nana said.
"I know... I never thought I missed this place so much and the way I am here," Fanny said.
She paused and Erik almost stepped in, but he heard her start talking again.
"I am not sure what's the right decision anymore, Nana. If I don't sell the ranch, I can't invest in my company and our future depends on that investment. But selling this place means selling a part of our lives and losing everyone that are dear to us. Martha, Green Ear... Erik." He could feel how hard it was for her to speak his name.
Her voice was almost a whisper. He could feel all the emotions she felt as she spoke his name. With him, she could turn into that fragile teenage girl who was terrified of her own feelings for her guy. Erik could not believe his happiness for having back this woman and hearing his name on her lips. He stepped inside and greeted the two of them.
"Hope I'm not interrupting anything," he said. He hesitated for a moment but, deciding to push his luck a little bit further, placed a soft kiss on Stephanie's temple. She did not flinch or push him away. Her grandmother gave him an understanding wink. That was quite encouraging.
"I was telling Nana about yesterday night's adventures," she said, leaning closer toward him.
"I've checked on them just now. Both are fine. The foal is so beautiful. You should give it a name," he offered.
"I'm not very talented with horse names. That's why its mother ended up being Green Ear," Fanny chuckled. They used to make jokes about it when they were kids.
"You're talented in everything, Fanny, and you know that," he smiled.
Grandma had moved to the other end of the kitchen busying herself with watering the plants or something to give the two of them some space. It was not enough. Erik needed her all for himself. He needed to feel her body against his again - to believe that last night was not the result of his imagination.
"It's a nice morning for some horse riding. And you haven't seen the new construction we've started on the southern side of the ranch. Wanna go?"
Stephanie's face lightened up immediately. Her grandma nodded happily as the two left the kitchen walking toward the stable.
"It's been a while since I've been on horseback. Ever since I've last been here," she said nervously.
"We can always do it the old way," he took her hand into his. Her palm as damp with sweat - she was nervous. As he laced their fingers, he felt the tension leave her body, she squeezed his hand - trusting him, leaning against him for support.
God, he had missed this. Never Erik felt strong and needed as much as when he was with his Fanny.
"I'm a big girl now, and might be a bit heavy to carry," she gave him a shy smile and bit her lip.
"I'm a strong boy now, and I can always carry you, Fanny. I'll hold you tight and there'll be nothing for you to fear," he promised.
As kids, they loved riding together. She would climb on his lap, usually facing him so that she could look into his eyes and kiss him as he held the reigns and followed to where the horse took them.
Erik was curious whether she'd do the same now - facing him or with h
er back to him, leaning against him? Both worked perfectly for him and he could get access to her body - to touch and caress her. He wasn't sure how much time he'd get to spend with her but now, as his Fanny was back, he intended to use every moment he got with her to its fullest.
His heart almost exploded with happiness when Fanny climbed on the horse and shuffled into his lap - facing him. Their eyes met and he saw that same trust and devotion that had always been the source of his encouragement. She wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a tender kiss on the side of his mouth.
"I'm ready to ride now," she said mischievously and he knew she did not exactly mean the horse that was carrying them on its back.
Once they were in the open field and away from everyone's curious stares, he slowed down the horse. He hoped this ride was never going to end and he'd forever be trapped in her arms, feeling the warm summer wind on his face and her breath against his - so warm and sweet.
"How are you doing, Fanny?" he asked.
"I'm okay I guess," she looked into his eyes again and he knew she needed to talk. He'd rather be doing other things to her right now but he was so damned blessed to have her even want to talk to him again.
"Tell me," he asked in a low soothing voice. He peppered kisses on her jaw and cheeks hoping he could carry away her worries.
"Not so much to tell, Rick," Fanny said. "I'm really confused about what I should do. I was so determined to sell this ranch. I still know that's the right strategy for my business and I've worked really hard to build my own company." Her voice grew smaller and lower with worry.
She tilted her head, leaning on his shoulder. She kissed his throat and Erik groaned feeling the reflections of that kiss in his body. Every nerve ending inside him was now awake and excited.
Her hand slid down his chest and she traced the band of his pants with her fingers, slightly touching his skin underneath the band.
"Fanny," he warned her. He was getting hard. It was hard not to get hard when she was straddling his legs and her soft butt rested on his groin, teasing him. He knew she was as excited as he was. As if on purpose, the woman was wearing a skirt and there was only the thin fabric of her panties separating her skin.
Inextinguishable Love: Firefighter and Interracial Romance Page 78