“It hurts,” she whispered. “Make the pain go away.”
He kissed her forehead, then drew her against him again. “I can’t. I want to, but I can’t.”
If only he could tell her things would get better. He knew that they would, eventually, but the words were a cold comfort to her now.
He hated how much she hurt. She was his baby sister and he’d always felt the need to protect her. He told her he wanted to find Ryan and beat the shit out of him, wait for him to heal, then do it all again.
“I’ll join you,” Cal said quietly.
Penny looked between the two of them. “You can’t beat up Ryan,” she said. “He’ll have you arrested and I’m due to give birth at any minute. Neither of you can be in prison then.”
Dani drew in a shaky breath. “She’s right. I’d love to watch you pound him into the ground, but you can’t.”
“Maybe not,” Walker admitted, although in his mind the idea was still worth considering. “But I can fire him.”
One corner of Cal’s mouth turned up. “Perfect. Let him try to get a job in this city without a reference from us. He’ll starve.”
“No!” Dani stepped back and glared at them both. “You’re not going to fire him, Walker.”
He couldn’t believe it. “You still care about this guy?”
“What?” She wiped her eyes with her fingers. “No. Of course not. I want him roasted on a spit. But I went into this relationship on my own. No one made me. I’m the one who didn’t pay attention or ask the right questions. I have to take responsibility for that.”
“Dani, he tricked you,” Penny said.
“I know that, but I refuse to give him all the power. I am not some spineless female who is going to be rescued by her big, bad brothers. Ryan stays. I’ll get through it.”
Walker appreciated her attempts to be strong, even though he still wanted to hit something…or someone. “If I don’t fire his ass, he’s going to show up every day. You’re going to have to deal with that. Can you?”
She straightened her back and squared her shoulders. “Bring it on.”
THE CONCEPT HAD SEEMED simple enough at the time, Walker thought the next day, as he waved to Mrs. Ford and one of her friends. The two old women drove away, leaving him alone with Zoe and all the potential things that could go wrong. All he had to do was watch the kid for a few hours until Mrs. Ford finished with her Labor Day Seniors Picnic. As it was adults-only, Mrs. Ford had been unable to take Zoe along, and for reasons still not clear to him, he, Walker, had volunteered.
“Brain injury,” he muttered to himself as he stepped into Elissa’s apartment. “Must have been a blow to the head I don’t remember.”
He’d left Zoe on the floor watching something on Nickelodeon, but when he returned, the TV was off and she’d spread out several articles of clothing on the sofa.
“I start school tomorrow,” she told him with an expression that was both hopeful and terrified. “Mommy and me are still talking ’bout what I’m wearing.” She fingered a T-shirt with a crown on the front. “This is pretty.”
“Very nice,” he said, wondering how the hell he was supposed to fill a whole day. Mrs. Ford wouldn’t be back until after dinner. Even though the craft fair ended relatively early, he didn’t expect Elissa until six. Sure he could take Zoe to the fair, but that was only going to burn two hours. Plus, what about meals? He’d said he would take her out, but that meant sitting across from her and thinking up things to say. What if she choked or something?
Despite the heat of the morning, a cold sweat broke out on the back of his neck.
“Did you see what Mommy got me for my lunch?” she asked suddenly, then raced into the kitchen. She came back with a brightly colored lunch box.
Zoe opened it and showed him all the wonders of a space for a juice box, a plastic container for a sandwich and fruit, along with a special pack that would keep everything cold.
“It’s the best,” she said reverently as she closed it, then ran her hand along the top.
He glanced at his watch. Great. Two minutes down, four hundred and eighty to go.
“Want to ride your bike?” he asked, thinking at least that would tire her out. Did kids her age take naps?
“Okay.”
But instead of running toward the front door to get to the garage, she raced down the hall, only to return with a large bottle of sunscreen. After handing it to him, she stood patiently, as if waiting for him to apply it.
“Right,” he said slowly. “You don’t want to get a sunburn.”
“Mommy says it’s important to protect ourselves.” She held out one impossibly small, skinny arm.
Walker squirted sunscreen into his left palm, then used his right hand to rub the lotion onto her skin. He could encircle her upper arm with his thumb and forefinger and he had a bad feeling that he could have snapped any bone in her body just as easily. If she was this little now, what had it been like when she’d been born? Elissa had to have been terrified, but she’d handled it all on her own. She hadn’t bolted or even tried to get away.
Unlike him.
He ignored the ghosts from his past and finished applying the sunscreen, then followed Zoe outside.
“Stay on this side of the street,” he said.
Zoe sighed. “I know. Mommy always tells me where I can ride. I’ll be good.”
After opening the garage, he helped her put on her helmet. Then she climbed on her bike and set off down the sidewalk. The small training wheels gave her balance and she rode with a purposeful confidence. Walker watched her for a couple of seconds, then glanced around for something to do while she burned off energy.
He saw several gardening tools in a corner of the small garage and remembered noticing Elissa weeding flowers in the front bed. As busy as she’d been getting ready for the craft fair, he would guess she hadn’t had time to keep up with her outside chores. Weeding he could handle.
He collected the tools, ignored both the gloves and some kind of squishy mat to protect his knees, grabbed a bucket and went to work.
The sun was hot, the day already warm. He attacked weeds and anything questionable looking, then dumped them into the bucket. Every now and then, he glanced up and checked on Zoe. She continued to ride back and forth, waving as she passed.
About fifteen minutes into her ride, she was joined by the girl from across the street. Walker couldn’t remember the kid’s name but she was a year or so older and seemed okay. They rode together for a few minutes, then collapsed on the lawn in the shade.
“I’m comin’ back,” Zoe yelled as she raced into the house.
Before Walker could get up and go after her to find out what she was doing, she’d returned with an armful of toys. The other girl did the same and they settled on the grass for a serious session of…whatever it was girls that age did. He reached the corner of the house and started down the side.
He worked the earth, not noticing when spade became shovel and the hole got big enough for a body. Digging graves, he thought grimly. Digging…
He jerked back, willing the image to fade. It did and there were plants again. Sweat dripped down his back. He didn’t belong here, he thought. He couldn’t do this—couldn’t be normal. He—
He heard voices. Too many voices for just Zoe and her friend. Walker stood and hurried to the front yard. When he stepped around the house, he saw Zoe standing up to a boy several years older than her. The boy pushed her lightly. Zoe shoved back. The boy pushed harder. Zoe went down on the cement sidewalk.
Walker tore across the lawn and grabbed the kid by the shirtfront. He was about to shake him like a dog when he heard Zoe start to cry. When he glanced down, she had tears on her face and blood on her shirt.
“Don’t hurt me! Don’t hurt me!” the boy cried.
Walker narrowed his gaze. “There won’t be a next time, will there?”
The terrified boy shook his head. Walker released him and crouched by Zoe.
“Let me see,” h
e said.
Her girlfriend had disappeared, as had the other boys. Walker examined Zoe’s scraped knee and the bit of skin missing at the base of her palm, then picked her up in his arms and carried her inside.
He set her on the counter and made quick work of her injuries, careful to use the nonstinging antiseptic Elissa had on a shelf with different sizes of bandages. When he was done with the patching up, he got a paper towel, dampened it, then wiped her face.
“What happened?” he asked.
She hiccuped another sob, then sniffed. “Those boys came by and said we were playing baby games. I said we weren’t.”
“You stood up to him,” Walker said. “Your friend didn’t.”
“Natalie got scared and ran home. I was scared, too, but we weren’t stupid and those boys were wrong. Sometimes they boss other kids around. I don’t like it.”
The boy had to be at least two or three years older than Zoe, but she’d been fearless. So what was the lesson? Did he tell her that it was good to stand up for herself, but then she had to face the consequences? Was it better to warn her to play it safe?
He stared into her big eyes and didn’t have a clue. How the hell did Elissa always know the right thing to say?
He wanted to be anywhere but here. Still, he stayed. Right now he was all Zoe had. He would face all the demons for her, real or imagined, and survive.
She held out her arms and looked expectant.
“What?” he asked.
“You need to give me a hug and then kiss it all better.”
Feeling both stupid and awkward, Walker wrapped his arms around her. He was careful not to squeeze too hard. Then he kissed the bandages.
When he was done, Zoe smiled. “Want to go to a movie? We could go to the mall and have lunch at the food court, and go shopping and go to a movie.”
It was his idea of the seventh level of hell. But who was he to refuse a five-year-old girl with the heart of a warrior?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
AFTER THE FAIR CLOSED on Monday, Elissa packed up the last of her supplies and carried them to Walker’s SUV. One of the guys in a neighboring booth had helped her with the tables she’d rented.
“See you next year,” he called as she climbed into the driver’s side.
“Sure. Congratulations.”
She waved, then closed the door and started the engine.
Home, she thought wearily. She just wanted to be home. Home where she could be quiet and finally think. Or maybe not think. Maybe what she needed was to sleep.
Because she hadn’t the night before. Long after she’d gone to bed, she’d lain awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling, wondering what to do about Neil.
He hadn’t said how long he was going to be in Seattle, but she didn’t think he would make the trip for just a few nights of work. Which meant weeks, maybe even a month in the area. He could show up at any time, demanding more money, insisting she pay or he would want to see Zoe.
Her stomach clenched at the thought. Zoe thought her father was dead and that was better for everyone. But if things got ugly, Elissa could find herself having to tell Zoe about Neil—and she would do nearly anything to avoid that.
The fear grew until it was hard to think about anything else. She briefly considered running—packing up a few suitcases, grabbing Zoe and going. But where? And what would happen when they got there? Unless she figured out how to get a fake name and identification, Neil would eventually find her. How would she explain the situation to Zoe? Plus she hated the idea of running—it was too much like letting him win.
The most logical solution was to go to a lawyer. Something she should have done years ago. Neil was not a good influence for a small child. Surely the courts would see that. If she could work out a deal, pay Neil off and get him to sign a release of some kind, that would be the best solution. Only what would motivate him? She didn’t have enough money to give him a lump sum large enough to satisfy him.
A loan, she thought. Not from a bank, but maybe her parents or Frank. Even with her and her mother at odds, surely her parents would help her keep Zoe. Walker had the cash, but she wasn’t comfortable discussing Neil with him. Besides, she wasn’t sure any of them would approve of her decision to pay a drug addict to stay away from his child. What if they wanted her to be more reasonable, to let Neil have the chance to prove himself as a good father? Neil was a great manipulator. He’d had a lifetime of practice, using people. What if he convinced them he deserved a chance?
She eased the large SUV into the driveway and put it in park. Walker stepped out of her apartment and crossed toward her.
It was almost dark and he appeared to be more shadow than man. Yet she felt drawn to him. She wanted to jump out of the SUV and throw herself into his arms. She wanted to confess everything and have him hold her and tell her it was going to be all right. She’d been on her own for eight years and she was tired of being the only one responsible.
“Good day?” he asked, moving to the rear of the vehicle and opening the hatch. “Make millions?”
She managed a smile. “Close. We were busy right up to the end. I sold nearly everything I had.”
“Good for you. Are you tired?”
She nodded. Bone weary, and for reasons she realized she wasn’t going to explain. She might be able to handle a lot in her life, but she couldn’t face Walker looking at her with pity or scorn. Only an idiot would have gotten involved with Neil in the first place and only a fool would keep on paying him now.
He collected her few remaining boxes of supplies, then closed the back. “I’ll return the tables in the morning.”
“You don’t have to do that. I was going to take them in after work.” Which would have meant borrowing his SUV again.
“It’s on my way to work. Don’t sweat it.”
She’d prepaid for the tables, so that wasn’t a problem. “Okay. Thanks. They have a deposit check they’ll return.”
He followed her into her apartment and set the boxes on her worktable.
“How was Zoe?” she asked.
“Good. She went to bed right on time and was asleep in thirty seconds. We went to the mall, saw a movie, then had dinner at the food court.”
Somehow Walker didn’t strike her as the mall type. “Was it horrible?”
“I survived.”
She winced. “Why do I know the movie was pure torture?”
“At least it was short.”
They stood on opposite sides of the sofa. The last time they’d been alone in her apartment, they’d been making love. Everything was different now. Not only weren’t they alone—even though Zoe was in bed asleep—she felt as if their intimate experience had happened to someone else.
Even as her body cried out for him, her brain knew that getting involved—more involved—was dangerous. Not only for her own sense of self-preservation, but because having Neil around changed everything. If Walker knew about him, he would, in typical macho guy fashion, want to fix the problem. That could only lead to trouble.
While she didn’t doubt Walker could take care of himself in a fair fight, Neil was never fair. No, telling Walker about her problems with her ex would definitely mean trouble.
Before she could figure out a polite way to ask him to leave, he gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa. Given all he’d done for her, she owed him at least that. So she would talk for a while, then claim tiredness and get him out of here.
“I’m glad your booth was a success,” he said. “Does that mean you’ll get asked back next year?”
“I hope so. I liked watching people look at my designs. I could ask them questions and figure out what was selling best and why.” She glanced at him. “Your entire family came by. That was really nice of them. They certainly didn’t have to, but I appreciated the support.”
“They like you,” he said, then exhaled slowly. “Dani found out Ryan’s married.”
That got her attention. “What? Are you kidding?”
He shook his
head. “His wife came by the restaurant yesterday. He’d never said a word about her. There’s a kid, too.”
Betrayal was never easy, she thought sadly. “How’s Dani holding up?”
“She’s tough. She’ll get through it. But having this happen only a couple of months after Hugh walked out on her and then turned up a cheater isn’t helping.”
Apparently Elissa wasn’t the only one with sucky taste in men. “Tell her I’m thinking of starting a club for women who’ve given up on men.”
His gaze snapped to her face. “I will.”
She realized what she’d said and wasn’t sure how to recover. “It’s just, before you…I’ve had issues. You know. In the past, I mean.”
He nodded without speaking. Silence filled the room. At last he said, “Something’s wrong. What happened?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. Beyond tired. This was a tough three days, but really worth it.”
His gaze didn’t waver. He studied her with an intensity that made her shift on the sofa.
“I’m fine,” she repeated firmly.
“There’s something. I can see it in your eyes.”
“You’re wrong. Let it go.”
Walker knew he probably should. She’d made it more than clear she wasn’t interested in telling him. But she looked…defeated. He’d never seen that in her before. Everything about her was tough and capable. What could have brought that on?
“Were you robbed?” he asked sharply.
“What? No. Of course not.” She pulled a wad of bills out of her jeans pocket. “I made a ton of money.”
“Did your mother stop by and harass you about Zoe?”
She actually rolled her eyes. “Will you stop? I’m good.”
She wasn’t. The more she protested, the more he was sure.
“Elissa, I can help.”
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
He wasn’t sure. His gut told him there was something serious at stake. That her defeat had come from a place of fear. But who could scare her and why? If she—
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