He held up his hand. “No, none of those. But I will answer all of your questions after I answer the one you asked last night.”
“Okay.” If I’d been a cat, I would’abeen dead, because I was about as curious as George on his best day.
When he ran his hands through his hair and scrubbed them over his face, my curiosity morphed into fear. What was so bad that he felt like he had to address it, but at the same time made him so nervous that he was stalling to answer? Did I ask him to marry me? Did I ask if I could have his babies? Did I ask for a kidney?
My patience got the best of me. “What? What did I ask? Was it that bad?” I snapped.
“No.” He reached across the table and took my hands in his. “No, it wasn’t bad. It’s just… I don’t know how to do this. Obviously.” Then he let out a forced laugh. “I keep messing up even though I’m trying to do things the right way.”
The look in JJ’s eyes made me feel like what he was saying should make sense, but I was as confused as a cow on AstroTurf.
“What things? What are you messing up?”
“This.” He waved his hand between us. “Us. You and me.”
I was still lost. “What do you mean? There’s an us?”
“The fact that you have to ask that, proves my point,” he mumbled, frustration radiating off of him as he ran his fingers through his hair.
Seeing him so out of sorts broke my heart. I tried to assure him that he hadn’t done anything wrong. “JJ, listen—”
“No.” He sat up straighter. “I need to talk and you need to listen.”
I shut my mouth. I’d known JJ my whole life. Which meant I’d seen him in all kinds of situations, but I’d never seen him this flustered.
He took a deep breath. “All my life, things have come easy for me. My family. School. Sports. Women. Any time I needed something, either my parents or one of my brothers were there to help. If I wanted something, I got it. School. I wanted good grades. I got them, I graduated with a four point two GPA.
“Sports. I was the starting quarterback and a pitcher junior and senior year of high school. In college, I was the Friday night pitcher and led the country in ERA and strikeouts. I won the Golden Spikes award. I only spent two months in the minors before I was called up to the majors, and I’ve stayed there. My team has won two World Series championships. And women—”
“I know,” I interrupted, not wanting or needing to hear about his many conquests. “You’ve never been lonely.”
“No.” He shook his head, his gaze growing more serious. “That’s the thing, I shouldn’t have been, but I was.
“I was going to say that women were always the easiest thing in my life. I never had to try with them—not in grade school, high school, or college. There was a steady stream.”
I really hoped he had a point and that he would be getting to it soon, because this was exactly what I hadn’t wanted to hear.
“But none of them, not one, mattered. I know that makes me sound like an asshole. And maybe I am. But the only girl that I ever wanted was the girl that I couldn’t have. You.”
At that moment, the entire world could have crumbled around me and I wouldn’t have noticed. When JJ and I had hooked up on the Fourth, he’d said some nice things. He’d told me that he’d wanted me for a long time. Which was nice. Amazing, even. But this sounded like his feelings were more than just physical.
“The question you asked me last night was why I didn’t call you after our weekend together.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I rushed in, hoping we could forget about that and get back to the fact that I was the only girl he’d ever wanted.
“Yes, it does. I know I screwed up. I thought… I knew that, if I heard your voice or even saw your text, I would come back here. I wouldn’t finish my PT, and I had to do that. I had to get back to one hundred percent, or as close as I could, before I could walk away from the game. If I didn’t do that, then I was scared I would have regrets. And I was scared you would think you were a consolation prize. I didn’t call you because I couldn’t. I had to focus on my PT. So I had my brothers keep an eye on you—”
“You did what?”
A sheepish smile spread across his face. “Yeah. I called in all of my favors so that I knew you were okay. I knew Brady was hanging around and I wanted them keeping an eye on him, and also to make sure that you didn’t start seeing someone.”
“What would you have done if I had started dating someone?”
“Sabotaged it,” he answered flatly. “It wouldn’t have lasted anyway, and we both know it. You don’t belong with anyone but me.”
His unapologetic response caused me to laugh. I couldn’t help it. JJ had a way of being so cocky that it was somehow comical.
“So that’s the answer to your question last night. As for the rest: My mom made the chicken because she knows how I feel about you and how ‘boneheaded’—her words, not mine—I’d been. She offered to make it because she took pity on me.
“I knew about the douchebags in college because I have a fake Facebook account, and if I had a dollar for every time I checked your page, I would be richer than Mark Zuckerberg.
“I’m retiring because I’m done playing professional ball. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to feel responsible for my decision. Either way, if I kept playing ball or walked away, if I had talked to you about it, you would have felt like you had to shoulder some of the weight of my decision. It was mine and mine alone to make.
“Like I said, in my life, things have come easy, but there’s always been something missing. I tried to ignore it, tried to tell myself I was just restless, tried to distract myself with other things. But the truth is you’re the only thing that can fill it, and the only time I feel truly at peace is when I’m with you.
“I moved back home because I’m done fighting the feelings I’ve had for you since that damn day in the basement when we played Spin the Bottle. I want to be with you, Destiny. Which is why I sent you flowers. I thought it would be nice to start treating you the way you deserve to be treated.”
I wasn’t laughing anymore. In fact, I was stunned. Speechless. I was having such a hard time taking in all of this information. I heard the words that were coming out of JJ’s mouth, but my brain couldn’t seem to process them. I wanted every word that JJ had said to be true, but…
“I know this is a lot to lay on you and you’ll probably need some time to think about things. I don’t want you to feel any pressure. We can take things as slow as you need. I’ve waited for you for over a decade—I can wait a little longer. So…why don’t you go take a shower and then let’s go down to your new shop and figure out what your next move is.”
“My shop!”
In all the excitement of Cara’s announcement and then the girls’ day and the drinking and JJ’s bringing me home, I’d completely forgotten about the loan and the bakery. Before Harmony and I had headed to Dallas yesterday to meet up with Cara, I’d signed the papers for the loan and the lease on the retail space. I did want to go look at it and start making a game plan, but I had figured I’d be doing it alone. Plus, JJ had his house and all the retirement rumors to deal with.
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
A look of hurt flashed in JJ’s eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. “There’s nothing I’d rather do today. But I know how hard you’ve worked for this, and if you don’t want me to go, then I won’t.”
“I want you to go,” I said without hesitation.
“Then I’m all yours.” His wide-open smile filled me with just as much hope as his words had.
All mine.
Chapter 28
JJ
“Nobody ever drowned in sweat.”
~ Grandma Dixie
Lowering my head, I leaned my hands on the shower tile as I rolled my neck and let the strong, heated stream of water massage my muscles. Growing up on a farm and always being involved in sports meant that, for as long
as I could remember, my days had started before dawn and ended long after the sun had gone down. Playing ball on a professional level was physically demanding in and of itself. When travel, double headers, and training were added, it pushed your body to its limits. And those limits were tested even further with an injury, surgery, and PT.
I was no stranger to hard work, so for the life of me, I could not figure out how this week had wiped me out so completely. My mornings had started early, which I was used to. I worked reno at my house. Then, depending on Destiny’s schedule, I worked side by side with her at Sugar Rush. We’d busted down two walls, pulled up tile that had been double glued, stripped the walls of the old green-and-orange-flowered wallpaper at the storefront. The days she worked the lunch shift, we had dinner together, and the days she worked the dinner shift, we had lunch together. Every night, I’d fall into bed, exhausted—but here was the real bitch of the thing. I’d end up spending most of the night wide awake, thinking, fantasizing, and dreaming of Destiny. I was lucky if I caught even a couple hours of sleep.
Nothing in my life had ever been as challenging as letting Destiny set the pace between us. It had been one week since I’d made breakfast for her and we’d spent every day together since. Flirted, of course. But, each time we said goodnight, I gave her a hug and kissed her on the forehead. And that was it.
She never brought up the conversation we’d had in her kitchen, and the last thing I wanted to do was pressure her. I tried to console myself with the fact that she was letting me spend so much time with her. Still, without being able to touch her, to kiss her, or to tell her I loved her, I was suffering from a hall-of-fame-worthy case of physical and emotional blue balls.
I was all for giving Destiny the time she needed, but this snail’s pace was going to be the death of me. After the press conference and groundbreaking today, we were going to have a talk. I wasn’t necessarily going to put the ring that had been burning a hole in my pocket for the past six weeks on her finger, but I at least needed to be able to kiss her. Slow was one thing. Standing completely still was another.
With that decision made, my entire body relaxed. At some point, my eyes drifted shut, and although I’d never fallen asleep standing up in a shower before, I was not surprised when that was exactly what happened. When my phone buzzed on the counter I jerked awake. In a flash, I became aware of my surroundings again. There was a definite possibility that I’d lost some time. My first clue was that the water now felt lukewarm.
Blowing out a long breath, I shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. Then I grabbed my towel off the rack. I had a lot of renovations to do in this house, but over the past two weeks, I’d gotten it livable. Tonight would be my first night in it.
When I looked down at my phone, which had stopped vibrating, it showed that I’d missed not one but four calls from Jessie. An uneasiness swelled up in my chest like a balloon being inflated. If she was calling this much, then there was a situation. I wanted everything to go smoothly today of all days. The groundbreaking ceremony for Briggs Big League Sports Academy and the press conference were scheduled in an hour.
It took me a few seconds to dry off, and when I reached for my phone to call my publicist back, there was a loud knock on my front door. It was not a welcome-to-the-neighborhood knock. It sounded more like a this-is-the-police knock.
“What the hell is going on?” I mumbled as I tightened the towel around my waist and marched to the front door.
I hadn’t made it two steps before my phone was buzzing again. Jessie’s face lit up the screen.
“What?” I barked into the phone just as I reached the front door and swung it open.
I hadn’t really had an expectation of who would be on the other side of the door, but Destiny was there. I was pleasantly surprised. And, oddly, she looked as surprised as I felt. Stunned, actually. Which made absolutely zero sense, since she was the one knocking on my door. Another thing that struck me as unusual was, unless my Spidey senses were off, she’d been crying.
Jessie’s speech was rushed. “JJ, there are a few things I need to go ove—”
“Let me call you back.”
Jessie’s voice grew louder, but I didn’t care. I disconnected the call.
The only thing I cared about was standing in front of me.
“What’s wrong?”
Destiny blinked twice and looked up at me. Until that moment, I hadn’t noticed that she’d been staring at my chest since I answered the door.
“Oh…umm…right…” She sniffed loudly and wiped her nose with the back of her hand as she took what looked to be a fortifying, but shaky, breath and squared her shoulders. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay. Do you want to come in?”
Stepping to the side, I waited as she looked between me and the house like she was choosing between door number one and door number two. I had no idea what was going on, but something was definitely not right. My phone buzzed again and I shut it off.
“Destiny?” Closing the distance between us, I lifted my hands to cup her face.
Before I made contact, she bent beneath my arm and ducked into the house. “No. Don’t. I need to talk to you.”
“Oookay.”
Once I’d shut the door, I turned. She was staring at me like she’d never seen my body before.
“Destiny?”
“Can you please put some clothes on?” Her posture was stiff and her tone was filled with irritation.
“No. Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” No way in hell I was doing anything until I knew that.
“Fine.” She dropped her hands in exasperation and started towards the door. “I can’t do this.”
“All right.” I held my hands up in surrender. If it kept her here, I would do anything. “I’ll go put some clothes on.”
“No, not that. I mean, yes, that’s part of it. But I mean this.” She motioned her hand between us.
“Destiny. What are you talking about?” I asked slowly. No, I hadn’t had much sleep and I might be a little slower at connecting the dots, but I was pretty damn sure she wasn’t making any sense at all.
“I don’t know.” Her voice was quivering, and tears started to well up. “That’s the point! I have no idea what’s going with us, and it’s driving me crazy. People keep asking, assuming things. I swear half the town has already married us off with a white picket fence and two point five kids. Everyone is acting like you liked it so much you put a ring on it, but,”—she held her hand up—“there’s no ring! Which is fine. I thought I could handle just waiting. Waiting to see what you were doing here. Waiting to see if we were ever going to be us. But I can’t. I can’t deal with everyone thinking we’re in some kind of relationship, when really what we are is friends. Platonic friends!
“I have no idea why you said the things you did in my kitchen, because obviously it wasn’t to get me in bed. I mean, you could not have made it more clear this past week that that was not what you wanted. But the thing is, I’m not some toy you can play with when you want. You can’t just tell me…say to me…the things you have and then act like were buddies. I mean—”
“Stop.” It took me a moment to snap out of the shock of Destiny’s rant. She thought I wanted to be friends with her? What the hell?
I took a step towards her, but she retreated.
“I meant every word I said to you. And I’m not playing with you. I’ve been trying to give you space. I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I know this all happened so fast and that you, being you, would need time to adjust to me being back and in your life.”
“Adjust to you being back?!”
When her eyes widened, I had the very distinct feeling that I might have said the wrong thing.
“What are you talking about? You being here, in Wishing Well, is all I’ve ever wanted since you left for college!”
“I just… I told you I’m not good at this. I’ve never even had a girlfriend, and I sure as hell haven’t ever been in love before now,
before you.”
Destiny sucked in a breath and she began shaking her head as she started retreating backwards. I was messing this up so bad. Every word that came out of my mouth felt like a shovel full of dirt as I dug myself deeper into the pit of no return.
“Look. Maybe I wasn’t clear.” A forced huff of laughter pushed from my chest. “Obviously I wasn’t clear. I want to be with you. No games. I don’t want to be your friend. I mean, you are my friend—my best friend. But I sure as hell do not have platonic feelings for you.”
“You’re in love with me?” She stilled and her eyes lifted to mine.
I would have bet money that she hadn’t even heard the last things I’d just said. Not that it mattered, because the most important thing was that she knew I was in love with her.
“Yes.” I crossed the distance between us, not able to take another second of not touching her.
Thankfully, she stayed put this time. So I pulled her into my arms as I breathed in the citrus scent in her hair.
“You’re it for me, Destiny. You always have been, even when you shouldn’t have been. I love you, Pip.”
Her arms wrapped around mine as she whispered, “I love you too.”
The second those words left her mouth, I breathed a breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding for… Well, damn. It felt like my whole life.
Pulling back, I cupped her face in my hands and tilted her head up to mine. With my thumbs, I wiped the tears streaking her soft cheeks as I stared into her eyes and told her again, “I love you.”
Her eyes sparkled brighter than a five-carat diamond ring, and I should know. I’d been carrying one around for the last month and a half.
Her voice shook as she smiled through her tears and said, “I love you too.”
My mind and emotions knew that this embrace was an emotional one and not a physical one, but the man downstairs had other ideas. He was more than a little happy to be pressed up against Destiny’s curves with the only barrier between us a towel and a thin sundress.
Knowing that there was no way she hadn’t noticed my eagerness, I teased, “I guess that answers the question of whether or not I have platonic feelings for you.”
Teasing Destiny (Wishing Well, Texas #1) Page 18