by Leanne Davis
Nate was glad to see his father so happy and relaxed. His dad had survived hell and finally deserved some joy. So what if it lasted for a year, or five, or ten? Nate couldn’t foresee the rest of their lives. That was just not how Vickie rolled. Dane knew that. Nate knew that. Vickie knew that. One thing they all found refreshing was the complete honesty they all shared.
When Dane went on his first date with Vickie, he had a great time. She was attentive, fun, exciting, and sexy as hell. All the good things he missed with Kallolee. At least, his dad could finally relax and enjoy a few hours of his long life. After dating a year, they decided to get married. Nate briefly questioned Dane’s motives, mostly asking, why? He was Vickie’s fifth marriage and Dane knew that. They had an elaborate prenuptial agreement drawn up, which Vickie, in typical, blunt, upfront Vickie-style, signed. She wasn’t deceptive or dishonest about her many faults or her failures. Including her multiple marriages.
What Vickie did have that Nate valued was an extensive, close, nice, and kind family. The type of family unit that Nate had no prior experience with. There were grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and they liked to get together. They became a big group when they were together. They told different stories and had clashing personalities and so much imperfection, yet there was so much love that they all shared. Nate grew up with only his parents and a few miscellaneous family friends during the holidays.
After Dad married Vickie, they were always invited to the family gatherings of the Lindstrom/Moore/McKinley clan. Nate met Vickie’s parents, Gayle and Jay Moore, who were just as nice to him as Vickie’s “stepson” as they were when Nate met them as her boyfriend. All Vickie’s behavior was unconditionally accepted by the older couple. They were much nicer and more involved than he ever knew grandparents could be.
Then there were Vickie’s two sisters, Gretchen and Tracy. Gretchen was married to Tony Lindstrom, a veteran of the war in Afghanistan, and they had adopted Olivia when she was eight. Olivia was now a sophomore at state college this year.
But all Nate saw in the family stories was their compassion and love. They accepted the unexpected and unconventional, like him being Vickie’s boyfriend once and now her stepson. That is, of course, everyone accepted them but Ally. Judgmental, perfect Ally could not tolerate that so easily.
Kylie and Ally were Tracy’s daughters; Tracy married Vickie’s ex-husband, Donny, who was Tony’s brother. It took Nate a few rounds to finally get all the intricacies of the huge family figured out. Donny married Vickie when she got pregnant; they divorced two years after their daughter, Julia, was born. By then, Donny was already involved with Tracy. The overlap of one relationship ending and the next beginning were a little blurred and fuzzy, as happens in real life. Nate knew and simply accepted it. Look at his relationship with his stepmother, after all.
When this wonderful family embraced his dad and him as kindly as they did, it was no surprise to Nate who already figured them out. No one was flawless, but these people were real and honest and always there for each other. They worked things out and forgave each other, which some other families might not have done. They were, for Nate, a kind of inspiration. But mostly, they were someplace to go on holidays where Nate actually felt welcome and an undeniable sense of belonging.
All except with Ally. She harbored a strong dislike for Nate. The history he shared with her aunt really turned her off. She thought he was morally bankrupt for doing that. And when his dad entered the picture? Well, that nearly sent Ally’s brain to fully steaming. She was never so shocked, appalled or morally outraged. Who did such things? Her message was quite clear, along with her disdain.
Nate eventually embraced his role as her chief antagonizer. It was so easy, so fun and so necessary for Ally. She needed him, he had long ago decided, if only to blow off some steam, or act and speak in ways she wouldn’t dare to with others.
Nate found Ally fascinating. She was bold, outspoken, interesting, and opinionated, never agreeing with anyone for the sake of keeping peace or pleasing them. In fact, she usually challenged other people’s arguments and opinions. She played the devil’s advocate in almost all situations academically.
Personally, however, she was well-behaved and unwilling to take any risks or even go outside without her hair being perfectly styled. She was extremely intelligent and well-spoken, somewhat brash in her need to lead, and could easily handle any adults and academics. She was well liked by almost everyone. But something was also there that Nate couldn’t quite articulate. A vulnerability he sometimes caught glimpses of, an unsureness, a sense of fear in her… Her fear of failure almost outweighed her confidence in whatever she was doing or achieving. Nate wasn’t sure, but he sensed intense self-doubt that most people would not agree even existed.
When he was first introduced to her, his stomach twisted up and his palms were sweaty. He knew from the very start he had a quick, easy, and intense physical attraction to her. More so than the physical reaction to meeting Vickie. He could not take his eyes off Ally. To him, she was the most perfect, beautiful, stunning girl. Of average height, she had a subtle, curvy body and her clothes seemed all designed for her precise body shape. She had long, thick, reddish-brown hair that curled at the ends; and dark, soulful eyes, like black pits of knowledge, desire, passion, and confidence. Ally was so fervid about her schoolwork, and her desire to achieve, Nate wondered if she would even recognize sexual passion if it walked up and slapped her in the face.
Ally held the record: she was the longest and deepest he ever pined for a girl. And he thought half the fun was the anticipation of getting her. Yet he wasn’t sure he wanted anything further to happen between them. Their flirtation was fun and the highlight of his days half the time. He loved the mystery and allure as well as wondering and wanting… but without the reality. How often is the reality as good as the fantasy? The flirting? It was like foreplay, as he saw it, although he knew she preferred their arguing and hatred. And she would have punched him in the gut for daring to utter the word “foreplay” in the same sentence as her name.
It was like a sport for him to verbally spar with her now. All it took was his easy smile and one of his nicknames to make her gnash her teeth and scowl at him. It was a stress reliever too, for both of them, even if she wouldn’t admit it. Few people existed that Ally could abandon her perfect-girl act with. He didn’t see her lose it too often, only around him. Ally spent a lot of her time looking after Kylie and compensating for her, which Nate didn’t totally understand.
Now she was back out at the family gathering, mingling, talking, and smiling. She even ate way more at dinner than she usually did. Always so polite and mannerly, she didn’t seem to think too much about eating. More like it was an afterthought she didn’t really care to bother with. Not at this Christmas dinner. Nate was glad to see her actually dig into her food for once and eat like a normal person. She did everything so mannerly, it was a shock sometimes to think she might be a little bit like the rest of them with normal bodily urges, cravings, and needs.
Ally was chatting quite respectfully to her sister’s new boyfriend, Tristan something. Nate waited for a natural break in conversation to get closer to her. She yawned when Kylie came up to say she and Tristan were leaving and did Ally want a ride back to Marsdale with them? Sure she did. Nate didn’t miss the chance to finagle a ride too. Tristan had a killer black sports car that Nate was dying to check out anyway. He soon learned, however, that the damn back seat was extra small.
Tristan seemed pretty connected and outwardly successful. He was an easy enough guy to be around, which was surprising, considering what and whom Kylie was doing and dating over the last couple of years. Nate shrugged, readily accepting the new Kylie and her relationship as anything else. Good for Kylie. She showed them all up by arriving with the richest, most polite, and most enviable guy of all. He was way beyond any of the dates the girls ever brought home. Tristan had nine years on Nate, which made Tristan appear much more Ally’s type than Nate co
uld ever dream of being. But all of Tristan’s senses were totally monopolized by Kylie. That much was obvious. Nate glanced at Ally seated next to him. She was carefully keeping her body parts from touching him, despite the sway and pull of the car on the turns, and he wondered if perhaps Ally couldn’t possibly look past the Vickie thing. Despite knowing he wasn’t established in a career and all that shit, Nate hoped Ally could see for once that maybe he was the only one who knew she wasn’t all that perfect. Maybe he was the only one who understood she really needed to try to be less perfect before the stress and strain of faultlessness caused her to blow.
Sighing, he resumed staring out the car window, and making casual conversation. Knowing Ally, who he knew far better than she guessed, the likelihood of that was small.
Chapter Two
ALLY DIDN’T SEE NATE the rest of winter vacation but when she walked into her first class after the break, and referred to her new schedule, she groaned in annoyance. He was there. Always. He was like a leech; so attached, she could not seem to flick him off her skin. She slipped into a seat near him before the professor came in and began discussing the course syllabus. The students were mostly Urban Planning and Sustainable Development majors. She and Nate were getting the same degree.
Ally was then going onto law school. She had been accepted this last November on early admissions to UC Davis School of Law. She wanted to be a successful advocate of environmental law. She had no idea why Nate would major in it, and had not asked him. She didn’t really care why, except that it put him in so many of her classes.
The teacher explained that all the students were doing a quarter long project and were to be assigned a partner. Each team would be given a mock city; as planners, they had to use all the information and resources at their disposal to make decisions based on random events that would be drawn periodically. After writing an assessment and explanation for their decisions, they would receive the mock results so they could compare and contrast the reasons they either succeeded or failed. They had to orally present their project to the class for a final grade. The professor started reading names arbitrarily and Ally held her groan inside. She hated group projects, and even worse, being assigned to a partner. She inevitably wound up doing all the work in the end. Unfortunately, Professor Hanson announced that Ally McKinley and Nate Stratton would be a team.
Ally nearly banged her head on the desk. Repeatedly. Was that a joke? She glanced over and saw Nate’s cocky grin as he wagged his eyebrows in response to her scowl of disbelief. First the B+ and now a full quarter assignment with Nate Stratton? What did she do wrong? Who in the universe did she piss off so much that they would retaliate with such a merciless punishment? She could not believe her ears.
The professor allotted time for everyone to introduce themselves and share contact information and all the other trivial necessities. Being forced to speak to Nate, Ally planted herself near him, but scowled for the rest of the class duration. The “teams” were assigned their “cities” and briefed with their financial statuses, tax bases, and other vital statistics. Then came the “circumstance.” For Nate and Ally, it was a major flash flood that inundates the city. As city managers, how would they respond?
“Lucky break, huh? At least we know each other. This thing sounds pretty intense; should we meet this weekend to hatch a plan?”
Lucky break her ass. “Fine. Read through the packet and get familiar with the city and our circumstances. Find out what other real cities did in such a crisis; and see what access to federal or state funding we can tap. Bring me some ideas in an outline.”
He made a cross-eyed face at her. “Affirmative, team leader. Is that what you’ve appointed yourself now?”
She gnashed her teeth. “I know I can get my work done, although I am unclear when it comes to you.”
Nate was way too pretty. He flashed a smile with perfect teeth that were obviously orthodontically straightened. His wide, fat, plump lips were often too enticing to look at. He had mixed blood in him, and his skin was a dark olive. His mother showed visible ethnicity, which Ally learned from the picture she saw of her. Ally guessed she was from India or somewhere in the Middle East. She hadn’t asked so she didn’t know for sure. The result was Nate: a stunning human sculpture of dark eyes and hair, dark olive skin and heavy, contrasting features. He could have passed for a romantic poet or a troubadour, playing guitar in some indie band. His distinctive, dramatic, soulful expression didn’t match his careless, easygoing, sarcastically annoying personality.
“No, sunshine, I’m sure you can’t say that about me. You’d have to know something about me first.”
She scoffed. “I know plenty, as much as I need to know, believe me.”
She turned her back on him before he could answer. Lacking any articulate or witty retorts to his snarky statements, which could have fueled their current bickering, Ally became angry with herself. Why couldn’t she think of something more clever to say? I know plenty? She mentally rolled her eyes at herself. Oh, yeah, great way to show Nathan Stratton how intelligent she really was.
“Just because I slept with your aunt does not mean that I have to wear a scarlet A on my back forevermore. You know, you’re a bit old-fashioned and insulting to judge someone else’s sex life, especially when it has nothing to do with you.”
His tone made her stop and she slowly pivoted to glare at him. He stood firm with both eyebrows raised, one side of his generous mouth curling in a crooked, goading half smile. Then he grinned fully. “Oh, perhaps that’s the problem between us? Is that it, sunshine? Is that the reason why we can’t seem to get along? You’re secretly angry that my sex life doesn’t include you? Maybe it’s our intense, unspoken chemistry.”
She knew he was mocking her now. She didn’t even possess intense chemistry. It wasn’t an easy emotion for her to tap into, not that she wanted to. Looking sexy or acting sexual wasn’t a concrete or definable thing. Ally was a true master with actual, tangible things, as well as her feelings, actions, and expectations. Sex and attraction and dating overwhelmed Ally because her feelings weren’t rational. She thrived on logic and reason. Not the ambiguity of vague things like emotions and romantic urges.
“I will see you on Saturday, then? My place. Again, come prepared.” This time, when she spun around to leave, she intended to keep going, until she heard his snickering statement, “I always do, sunshine, I always come prepared.” He followed her out the door and the lingering lilt of his laughter sounded almost like a sexual overture.
Saturday brought Nate to the apartment she shared with two other seniors. They became friends in their freshman year and had roomed together for the last three years. They didn’t mind sharing a bathroom and let Ally have the master bedroom with an en-suite. Which of course, Ally needed for reasons no one would guess. Ever.
Nate surprised Ally by arriving fully prepared with ideas. The rubric for the assignment had clear steps to follow; and the easiest and biggest was to outline their general budget before they could plan for the crisis. They worked diligently at the dining room table despite her roommates coming in and going out. They both knew Nate and several times, Ally had to hold her tongue when he and the girls talked about things that had nothing to do with homework. Ally had zero interest in listening to their chit-chat, much less to their good natured flirting. Oh, sure, she caught them smiling her way, indicating Nate was hot and she should go for him.
“Did you choose this major just to annoy me?” Ally finally inquired after arguing for a good half hour over who would take the title role as mayor of the city. They were just starting to form a city plan when Nate leaned back on the hardwood chair and interlaced his hands behind his head. When the two front legs of his chair lifted off the floor, he balanced himself effortlessly and looked casual. “Well, that might be a bit exaggerated, even for me. Despite how much I enjoy disturbing you and the perfect world that you create around you, I have to say quite shockingly, no, it had nothing to do with you. I’m not sure you�
��ve ever asked me a personal question before.”
Ally busily flipped through her notes, frantically recopying the temporary budget she came up with last night. “Well, what reason would there be to? I was just being facetious and didn’t actually want to know anyway.”
“No. God forbid you’d be polite to me after all, I—gasp!—had sexual intercourse with Vickie. Perfectly logical reason for you to dislike me even though it had nothing to do with you. And by the way, all parties involved, meaning me, my dad, and Vickie, have accepted it, and moved on. So can you explain to me why you harbor such harsh judgment for me and base your entire impression of me as a person on it? Do you judge all people so critically? And the partners with whom they have sex with? That’s pretty pathetic; not to mention, it’s also a very limited criteria.”
“It’s not because of the sex you had with Vickie, but because you then became her stepson and you still shamelessly flirt right in front of your father. It’s just—”
“Not what you’d do?” he interrupted, his tone sounding even softer in contrast to her outrage. She quit talking, leaving her mouth half open as she collected herself before snapping her teeth while shutting her mouth. The truth of what he said and the unusual tone and soft enunciation had her pausing. No, in all honesty that wasn’t something she’d ever consider doing or allowing. But the callous way he did it still riled her. It was outright, unapologetic flaunting of the basic norms of society and intimate relationships.