by Leanne Davis
She was getting so close until he slipped his fingers free of her and she nearly jumped after them to bring them back to finish what they’d begun. She was hot, a melting fire down there. Nate leaned forward, placing his lips just above her ear. “Tell me you want me.”
Ally’s eyes opened, and he lifted up his eyes to stare into hers. Her heart almost stopped for a panicked moment. Was he joking? Was he trying to get her going? Say that she liked this, admit it just so he could leave her hanging here, wallowing in embarrassment as she watched him walk out? That would prove all his innuendoes and jokes he spewed over the years were true.
She lay there for a moment, just blinking in wonder. She almost jerked up but decided to stay flat. Her body was still humming and barely coming down from the high he put her on.
“Tell me this is what you want and not a mistake.”
That gaze was on her again, demanding commitments from her; he wanted answers and probably a proclamation. She was so fuzzy, not only from alcohol but also the flood of hormones singing and dancing inside her, scorching through her blood like wildfire. “Ally?” His tone was insistent.
She blinked to break his gaze. “It’s not a mistake.”
Nate stared for another long, pronounced moment before he finally nodded. He dipped his head back to hers and she nearly sighed in relief when his lips returned to hers. She couldn’t wait to shut her eyes again and forget about the world, real life, and mostly, herself. All of that disappeared leaving only those lovely feelings and the incessant pressure of his mouth and hands on her. She sighed and raised her arms to encircle his neck as she held on.
She felt his startled response; but it seemed he liked her grabbing him. He finally pulled her arms off and disappeared for a moment to put a condom on before he was back in her arms, and prodding urgently at her entrance. She raised her knees and tilted her hips to encourage him to slide more comfortably in. Sighing, she groaned with pleasure when he finally sank himself deep inside her. Like magic, he fit perfectly. He remained still and his entire body strained in obvious pleasure as he took in a deep breath and caught her lips in an intense, almost overwhelming kiss.
She gripped his shoulders, her nails digging into his taut muscles. She had to restrain herself as he pulled out before reentering in long, slow, almost laborious strokes. Each one drew out every nerve ending she had. Pulling and filling, heating and soothing, aching and pleasing. She felt like a kaleidoscope of sensations and feelings. She lifted her chest against his as his arms wrapped all the way around her, and he tightly held her in his embrace. Suddenly, he pushed inside her hard and rough, over and over again until her entire body started exploding in pulsating flashpoints. She was so close, she moaned and abandoned herself to her sensations. Throwing her head back, the sweat glistening all over body and then…
Nate was done. He came inside her and she was still thrusting upwards to receive him, needing, wanting, and demanding fulfillment. But he was already withdrawing from her and his body began to fall to the side of hers. She bit her lip to hold back the moan of her discontent and almost cried out, “No!” She was so turned on. Her entire body was hot and it all seemed to swirl and spiral from the core of her. She squeezed herself and wanted nothing more than to take her own hand and push against the throbbing, aching crescendo he completely inflamed to its peak, then left burning and smoldering but not satisfied. But even in her drunken haze, with her eyes squeezed tightly shut in frustration, her need almost turned into pain, yet she was too reserved to finish off what he started. Not in front of him. Not with him there.
Quiet descended and nearly smothered the room. Finally, after too many moments spent lying there with her pulsating need, her body started to relax. It seemed to let it go on its own, without her willing it too. Her body sensed it wasn’t going to happen. She unclenched her muscles and eventually pushed the covers back over her. Extreme disappointment filled her thoughts.
Nate snuggled in close to her. She had no idea if he realized what she had missed. The level of frustration he left her with was higher than any other time she’d ever had sex. But the level of desire was higher too. She glanced Nate’s way and realized he was sound asleep. His breath rose and fell in steady, regular bursts. At least, he wasn’t drunk snoring. His mouth was barely open and his thick eyelashes lay like dark fans beneath his lower lids. He was curled towards Ally, but not touching her. He was a beautiful man. There was no doubt of that. Especially now, not talking, or being sarcastic or flirting with Vickie. He looked deeper, darker, and far more soulful than she ever knew him to be.
She shook her head and closed her eyes. Her head was spinning still too. She wished… what? That she’d come? That he finished her off? That she didn’t start with him in the first place? She wished she had a clue what she would do about tonight. Her dizzying thoughts eventually grew still and her fatigue and drowsiness overtook her body.
Chapter Four
NATE’S EYES POPPED OPEN with a start and he sat up with a jerk and glanced around, utterly confused. Where was he? What awoke him? He shook his head as a rush of dizziness made him shut his eyes in an effort to stop it, but the sensations only grew worse. He cracked his eyes barely open and faced the room. It was gloomy, and still dark outside. A light spilled from under a door, making a soft glow that was just enough to illuminate the objects and furniture in the shadows. Right then, it all came crashing down on his brain with the impact of a baseball bat smacking into his forehead.
Ally. He was in Ally’s room. Shutting his eyes, he flopped back on the bed and raised an arm up to cover his eyes. He was trying to stop the stabbing pain of fast movements and the knowledge of where he was and what he’d done…. Or hadn’t done, the night before.
He remembered most of it. The party. Spotting Ally across the throngs of people. She was dancing, laughing, drinking even and obviously enjoying herself. Nate had noticed her at many parties over the years, but she was usually stone cold sober. Sure, she smiled and socialized but Nate rarely saw her dance or laugh or seem to join in on the fun. Not like she was then. He liked watching her and the fun she was having. Enough that he felt compelled to approach her. He was simply intending to rib her, and kid her like he always did before just so he could watch her eyes flash with annoyance at him. Whenever she got irritated by his comments, they always shone with a deep-seated fire; but even more important, he wanted any attention from her he could get, even if it were the bad kind. He was like a little boy at recess in second grade, chasing the girl he liked most while calling her names. Only this wasn’t second grade, and his strategy was stupid and ridiculous with her. Ally was the one girl he had ever had a real crush over and now, he acted like an imbecile whenever he was around her.
But somehow, she didn’t respond to his jibes as she usually did by pushing him away and banishing his company. She talked and let him dance with her, making it so easy to lean over and simply set his lips on hers. He was drunk enough to try it. And had to be. That was the only way he would ever have done so. He half expected her to slap him or knee him in the balls, since Ally was perfectly capable of doing that. But instead, her mouth practically molded onto his. Ally just surrendered, and even welcomed him, encouraging his complete participation. It was already a shock that she allowed him to keep on kissing her. Then, she suddenly ran off. He stared after her, his stomach knotting with self-repulsion, convinced she’d never speak to him again.
But when he found her kneeling on the sidewalk, she seemed so lost and confused. He shuffled around, he was so unsure what to do about it. Did his kiss traumatize her? Was she so disgusted she was vomiting over the disappointment of it? He knew she had been drinking, but Ally was pretty damn composed at all times before, so he had no idea if she were even tipsy, let alone drunk. When he knelt beside her, she leaned her shoulder against him as if tapping into his warmth. That small chink in Ally’s usual plate of armor made him feel bold, daring and reckless. Damn it, at some point she had to notice him. And consider him more t
han just some loser who had sex with the aunt she didn’t like. Nate liked Ally so much more than she liked him, and her incessant lack of interest, and even disrespect towards him, burrowed under his skin like a Brillo pad.
He was amazed she even allowed him to accompany her home. That’s all his drunken, lazy mind could focus on and obsess over, just to be near her. She was quiet but that was fine for once, at least there were no insults. Just the two of them. Being together. It was kind of a refreshing change. He had every intention of leaving. He knew he had to get going. They exchanged a heated stare, which, considering it was Ally, seemed unusual, but seeing how rigidly she held her spine upright, she conveyed in no uncertain terms that he should go.
Then, she touched his arm.
After that… well, here he was now, lying naked on her bed. He groaned, fighting the urge to bury his head under the pillow and suffocate himself.
Nate was waiting, longing, and all the while desiring closeness with Ally, in any capacity, not necessarily sleeping with her, for over three and a half years. He nearly gave up hope that it would ever happen. He assumed after graduation this year, that would be that. They’d both depart into the world, choosing their own separate ways and only hear about each other in passing from Vickie. He was well prepared to refer to her as the girl that got away. The one who never knew how he felt about her. Why? First, he didn’t think she’d notice him. Second, the disdain she harbored toward him was expected to last for the duration of their school years together. Nate just didn’t have the guts to accept rejection and that was why, in all honesty, he didn’t approach her except in jest. He wasn’t shy or lacking in confidence, but simply unwilling to make a fool of himself. Ally’s strong distinction between right and wrong and how wrong she deemed the relationship he had with Vickie convinced him it would be no less than a humiliating experience to ever admit to Ally what he really thought and felt towards her.
But when she touched his arm, confusion and apprehension competed in his addled brain. Why was she touching him? Why would she purposely stretch out her hand and make physical contact with him? Why? Did she intend to? She must have because she didn’t drop her hand and blush or ignore the intimate gesture. She left it there in a long, heated look of obvious certainty that definitely meant she wanted to touch him.
And after that, they just kind of come together. A cold fusion, one that he didn’t consider would happen in reality. Images from the previous night flashed through his brain, disjointed but also somewhat together. He remembered the sounds Ally made, so many and so sensual. Little gasps and moans, that became deeper groans when she really liked something. She was not cold or exacting when she was turned on. He often wondered, but truly had no idea what Ally would be like in bed. Her body was beautiful. He studied her at length since he finally had the opportunity but he was practically in disbelief when he actually began to touch, lick, kiss, caress, appreciate and worship her, all of her. Now, he internally moaned, Fuck! He screwed it all up. Being so overwhelmed by just being with her, and also being on her, and inside her still seemed incredible. She was writhing, rubbing, tilting her hips just right and he lost it before he could try to begin to control it.
Then he passed out cold! Well, that’s what he surmised anyway, because the next recollection he had was waking up alone, in bed, and still naked, but no Ally.
Returning to the present, Nate lifted the pillow off his now blushing, shame-filled face. He waited years for this opportunity and then managed to blow it that bad? She’d never speak to him again. He couldn’t even picture how Ally would take it.
Suddenly, he heard her. She was most likely what had awoken him. It was the charming sound of her getting violently sick in the bathroom. Nate winced when he identified the source of the wretched sounds. Oh, man, definitely not how he ever envisioned the morning after with Ally, not that he actually pictured it really happening. She was his go-to fantasy. Never in person, only a figment of his active imagination. That’s all she ever was before. And now that it happened, she obviously must have drunken so much, she was gut-wrenchingly sick.
Nate rolled over and placed his feet on the floor as he buried his aching head into his hands. Wiping his face, he slowly rose to his feet, but standing up created a wave of dizzying nausea. He had to shake it off, jumping up and down to clear out some of the mental cobwebs left over from the surplus of alcohol. He found his jeans and put his legs into them before walking towards her bathroom door. Rapping with just a soft tap, he tried not to intrude or startle her. He could still hear her heaving in misery.
“Ally? Are you all right?”
A long pause. Nothing. Not even the sound of her getting sick. Then the toilet flushed and he heard her moving. More water ran, a cabinet shut, and the light clicked off right before the doorknob turned.
Taking a step back, he finally saw her. The gloomy lights from out front barely illuminated her, and Nate swallowed the knot of anxiety lodged in his throat as his own battle with nausea began.
Ally took in a sharp breath and stared at him for a long moment before she started to pass around him.
“Too much alcohol?” Nate finally asked gently to fill the silence.
“Yes. Way too much.”
Yeah, he figured that. His shoulders slumped and he dug his hands into his jean pockets. Barefoot, he walked over towards her and softly inquired, “Are you okay now?”
She leaned over so her head fell down on the pillow. Wearing loose sweats and a zipped up sweatshirt, she clutched her middle. Her hair, however, was untouched. It had become a knotted, snarled mess from Nate’s hands and her own sweat. Nate knew she wanted him to leave. He also knew if he did, she’d never acknowledge him or their tryst again. “Miserable hangover brewing. You should…”
“Go?” He sat down on the same side of the bed. She had to slide her legs back to make room for him. He bent forward, cradling his head in his hands. “Look I’m sorry… about…” God this was so hard to admit. Ally was the one girl he was saving his “A” game for and instead, he just fizzled out at the end to nothing.
“…how things ended. I was really drunk too.”
“It doesn’t matter. Just a drunken hook-up. All I ask is that you don’t tell my family, or anyone else really. And we can both just forget about it.”
His back jerked up rigidly and he slowly swiveled his head, his gaze seeking hers. She still lay there on the pillow, offering only her profile to him. “You’re wrong. It does matter. It wasn’t just a drunken hook-up.”
“It was too,” she insisted. “It really was, Nate. I have no interest in you. Not in any way. And I believe you feel that way too.”
He stared at her but she refused to return his gaze. Her eyeball moved to one side of her eye, and met his for a split second before she turned and tucked her head deeper into the pillow. He kept staring at her profile. No interest in him? Then who grabbed his arm last night? Who melted like butter into his kiss? Who nearly combusted under the impact of everything he did to her? That was no cold, mechanical quickie. He sucked in a breath. Oh fuck this. He was already dismissed, excused, and screwed with regard to Ally. So why not go for the gold? Why not risk the humiliation? He was sober now, despite a slightly wonky feeling.
He turned and acted before she realized he wasn’t just getting up to leave. Sliding his hands on both sides of her head but under her pillow, he placed his chest and head above hers so their eyes were completely level. She turned flat on her back in an automatic reaction and her eyes widened as her lips parted. He kept his weight off her but still hemmed her in and made sure he had her undivided attention.
“It’s no accident I’m here,” he mumbled before placing his mouth on hers. She had to twist her neck when their lips touched, but once the softness of his lips engaged her, she leaned closer towards it, instinctively, like a moth flitting around a porch light. Her mouth tasted minty because she had brushed her teeth and used mouthwash. He didn’t care that she’d just been sick. He only cared that she
didn’t kick him out or label him as a “drunken hook-up” who would never be seen or heard from again.
Nate wanted her too much and in so many more ways than just that.
He kissed her and beckoned her tongue to come out, which she timidly obeyed as her hands circled his neck yet again. He nearly smiled at his triumph, but instead, kept kissing her. He trailed his mouth and tongue down her neck, which she eagerly offered to him as if she were his next feast. He stopped kissing her when he reached the opening of her sweatshirt. The zipper was cold and hard on his lips. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his face off hers and slid his hand towards the elastic of her waistband.
“Let me,” he whispered his mouth against the exposed skin just below her collarbone. Her hips relaxed and she nodded and splayed her legs as if she were a puddle of passion. He slid his hand down and discovered she wasn’t wearing underwear and felt about as wet and hot as he could have ever dreamt about. “God, Ally. You feel so wonderful,” he moaned as his mouth found hers again. Sinking two of his fingers inside her, she cried out, which only incited him more. He grew hard against the side of her leg again; and this time, there was no alcohol to dim or obliterate the experience.
Releasing her mouth, his teeth located the zipper of her shirt and he pulled it down until her breasts were bared. Ally’s nipples stood up proudly and Nate slipped one into his mouth, fondling it with his tongue and lips while gently nipping it with his teeth. Meanwhile, his hand explored inside her and tried to work some more magic. She started to moan and writhe, uttering little squeaks repeatedly as she grasped his wrist to make sure he didn’t withdraw his hand too soon again. He held her as she came apart and her body milked his fingers, which were still high inside her. Eventually, he slipped his hand out and she kept her eyes closed with her head tilted up. Nate kissed her chin and eyes, making her eyelashes flutter open.