"That's fine. Scarlett can just take my car and come get me," I told Scarlett.
We made plans for the morning over another margarita. My head was feeling light and my cheeks were burning. I was smiling more than I should. I took that as my cue for enough was enough, and I said my goodbyes. Ryder helped me down to the car, as now I was a little wobbly and still a bit sore.
"We can do this, right?" I asked on the dark ride back to my hotel.
"Pretty sure," he shrugged.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"I know." It just didn't make a difference.
When we arrived at the hotel, he insisted on walking me up to my room. I rather he stayed in the car. I was all too aware of him, and the alcohol was making my mind think about last night. I played with my bracelets in the elevator ride up. I was repeatedly telling myself that I wasn't going to kiss him goodbye at the door.
"Stop," he said, putting his hand on mine. He always hated that. "You have no reason to be nervous."
I nodded and was saved by the doors sliding open. I quickly escaped the small elevator and limped down to my door, sliding my card and opening it up.
"Thank you for the ride," I told him, and then giggled when I realized that could be taken in more ways than one.
He chuckled and shook his head at me. "Goodnight Kallie," he said in a low voice that made my insides warm. I tore my eyes away from his full lips and back up to his dark eyes.
I nodded in a daze and he backed away slowly. When I stepped into the room, he turned around and got back in the elevator. I closed my door and pressed my back against it, sliding down to the floor. I let out a huge sigh and put my head on my knees. Would he always turn me into a pile of goo?
How would I cope with not being with him again? Last night was a mistake, only because it reminded me of something I wanted and couldn't have. His hands on my body, his lips on mine, it all felt right. I couldn't just forget all that. I never would be able to. I wasn't convinced that I could act like we were just friends.
I desperately needed girl talk. I considered calling Scarlett, but changed my mind. She had something good going for her and listening to me whine about my issues with her twin would probably sour her mood. Scarlett was loving and loyal and would die for anyone lucky enough to get into her heart. Ryder and I both were in that category. I didn't want her in the middle.
I stared at my phone and wondered why I was so clueless when it came to boys when I was in my twenties. I never dated and never had a breakup before. While girls were going through their first love and heartbreaks, I was with Carter. I was blissfully in love, paying no mind to the hard parts that other couples went through.
Scrolling through my phone, I spotted Chloe's name. She texted occasionally to check in from time to time. She was my best friend back at Georgetown. We were totally different, but we were always close. I hit the call button and listened to the ringing.
"Hello? Kallie?" she answered after two rings. Her voice was surprised but also laced with a hint of worry.
"Hey, Chloe. How are you?" I asked.
"I'm okay. Are you okay?" she rushed out. I rarely called and only answered her texts with short replies. She was probably thinking I was in trouble. I laughed.
"I'm fine," I paused. "I just needed a friend to talk to."
Chloe asked me to wait while she stepped out on her balcony. I did the same and got comfortable on the lounge chair.
"Well, I have to admit, I've been waiting for this," she said once she got situated. "Lay it on me, girlie."
I smiled wide, glad that after I pretty much dropped off the face of the planet, she was still there for me. I took a deep breath and launched into everything from the beginning. I told her about the morning I found out Carter died and how angry I was with everything around me. She cried with me when I cried. Talking about it again ripped open old wounds.
I walked her through meeting Ryder at the bar. I told her how I thought we slept together for a while. I told her about the bonfire and the warehouse party. She gasped when I told her about what we did upstairs while the party raged on below. I blushed thinking how we could have been busted, but at the time, nothing else mattered but what he was making me feel.
Chloe listened intently when I told her about Josh coming to find me and about my father's heart attack. I didn't tell her about Ryder and Logan's involvement in the accident, though. That wasn't really anybody else's business, and I didn't want her to judge them. I forgave them long ago, but I wasn't sure everyone else would do the same.
I explained how I became wrapped up with the store and working all the time when I came home to help my father out. I reluctantly told her how I started to ignore Ryder, guilt filling me up inside. I never meant for that to happen, but I let it anyway. I told her about the upcoming wedding and how I didn't like the groom to be. She was patient and listened for almost an hour while I told her everything that had happened since I left school.
"So, I'm just not sure what to do," I finished. "He may never forgive me, and I'm not sure I can be without him."
"First off, yes you can. You are strong. You don't need a man to make you happy. You proved that once," she said sternly. "And another thing, he'll forgive you."
"I don't know," I mumbled.
"Give it time, babe. I think he just needs to see that you won't hurt him again. So, my question is, what are you going to do about the douchebag?"
I busted out with laughter. "Who? Adam? Nothing," I giggled into the phone.
"Kallie, I know you too well. You may be the sweetest thing ever, but you have little tolerance for those who screw over your friends. You also have good intuition."
"He didn't screw her over," I said confused.
"But he probably will, and you know it. Remember that jerk, Kevin? You met him once and hated him," she reminded me. He was a jerk and she was blind to it. "You told him off and I was so mad at you."
"I know," I sighed. "I'm sorry." It was out of sorts for me to be rude to someone and tell them to get out of my apartment, but it seemed necessary at the time.
"Don't be. A week later, I found him with Slutty Sasha in his car."
"What?!" I shouted. "You never told me that!"
"Yeah, well, I didn't want to admit how wrong I was. Look, you're only a little over an hour away from me. Why don't I drive up tomorrow night? You gotta be lonely in that hotel all by yourself."
I yawned. "I am. That would be great."
We hung up after making plans for the next day. I felt relieved after telling someone my story. I didn't realize how badly I needed someone to talk to. I took a quick shower and climbed under the sheets. I fell asleep quickly, feeling lighter than I had in months.
CHAPTER SIX
Ryder
I was running late for work. Again. I dashed out of the apartment, taking two steps at a time. I jumped in my truck and glanced over at Kallie's M5. It was odd knowing she was here, in my town, but not in my apartment. As I raced to work, I thought about how I left her last night. It killed me not to shove her into the room and carry her to the bed.
I cursed at myself all the way down to the car. When I first saw the hotel room, all I thought about was all the places we could have sex. The couch, the coffee table, the bed, the tub, or even the balcony. The idea that we could have been there all alone with no one to hear was on the forefront of my mind.
Last night, I dreamed of the way she looked at me before going into her room alone. She looked like she wanted me as bad as I wanted her. She did that lip bite that usually was my undoing. She was staring at my lips like she wanted to devour them. This was going to be a long few weeks if I couldn't stop thinking about her like this.
I never should have had sex with her at her apartment. I was torturing myself by reminding myself of what we had. Seeing her so forceful and standing up for herself, it broke a piece of the wall I had built back up. It turned me on and gave me hope that I could have the old Kallie back once again. I needed to be more care
ful around her if I wanted to make it through this without getting my heart broke again.
I punched in, deep in thought, and pulled a Ford truck into the garage. I tried to keep myself busy and keep my mind off of her. It was so easy to be angry with her when I couldn't see her. When I could forget her smell, how blue her eyes were, and how much I loved her laugh, then it was easier to be mad at her for leaving me. With her shoved in my face, I was weak.
I was making good progress and working quickly. Trying to stay distracted proved to be a good motivator. Travis seemed pleased that I finished two repairs before lunch time. I swept the floor and cleaned the windows when I had down time. It wasn't helping, though. All I could think about was how she was probably at my place now.
"Is it true? Is she really back?" I heard from behind me.
I spun around and nodded at Logan as he walked toward me. "Came the other night."
"For you?"
"Wedding." He gave me a look that said he didn't believe that for a second.
"You okay?" he asked quietly.
"Yep," I answered quickly.
"Still mad at her?" he asked, tilting his head to get a better look at my face. I'd known Logan almost my whole life. He could read me like a book.
"Trying to be. I won't make the same mistake again."
He nodded and rolled a stool over to sit on. He talked shit while I did an oil change. He seemed off, but I couldn't figure out what the reason was exactly. He seemed subdued, like he had something on his mind. Logan was never a big talker, so I would wait him out. When he was ready, or drunk enough, he would spill it.
Travis told me to go home a few hours early. He said at the rate I was moving, we wouldn't have enough work for next week. I wanted to argue, but it wasn't often that I got an early day. I wanted to avoid going home but decided to get it over with. Quick like a band-aid.
Kallie's car was one spot over from where I left it last night, so I knew Scarlett must have picked her up already. I walked into the apartment to find both girls sitting at the bar. Magazines and papers were spread out all over the kitchen. Kallie's computer was open, and they both had their heads in their hands. Kallie looked ready to pull out her hair.
"Everything okay?" I asked hesitantly.
"I need a break," Scarlett said as she got up and went to the bathroom. I heard the water turn on as she stepped in the shower.
"Kallie?" She still had her hands in her hair and hadn't moved since I walked in the door.
"I'm trying not to have an anxiety attack," she mumbled.
Her body was stiff and her jaw was tense. I rarely saw her this stressed. The few times I had, I hated it. I walked behind her and started to rub her shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension. Her muscles felt like stone under my hands. She was slightly vibrating and her breathing was quick.
"Kallie, calm down," I urged gently. I hated seeing her so worked up. She came here to get away from all of that.
"I'm trying. We don't enough time," she huffed, throwing her hands in the air. "She wants something elaborate and elegant with about a month to plan. This is something that takes more than a year to plan."
"You know how impulsive she is," I offered. She was right; this wasn't something that should be rushed, but try telling that to Scarlett.
"I know," she sighed. "She’s just making it very hard."
I continued to work her shoulders. I felt the muscles slowly relax under my hands. I could feel her heat through her shirt, and when I pressed hard, she let out a tiny moan. When I started to get hard from hearing her sensual sounds, I rubbed a little more gently. She needed to cut that shit out.
"Thank you," she said, effectively relieving me of my duty.
"No problem," I said as I stepped away from her. I needed distance.
Scarlett came stomping out of the bathroom and into her room. Kallie went back to her laptop, clicking and typing away. I tiptoed into the living room and turned the TV on. It was probably best to avoid them at this point. When Scarlett put her mind to something, there was nothing that would stand in her way. I was sure this wedding wouldn't be any different.
"Okay," Scarlett said once she came back to the kitchen. "I'm ready to get back to work."
Kallie sighed and pulled out a notebook. I wandered into the kitchen out of curiosity. I could be walking into a death trap for all I knew. How could one hour of the day take so much work? What could all the books and papers even be for?
"Look, there are tons of websites that have checklists and things we need to get done. They are counting for a year of planning, but we need to settle and do it in a month or less."
"Got it boss." Scarlett saluted her. She really did look ready to dig in.
"Budget? How much can we spend?" Kallie asked. By the way Scarlett tensed, she hadn't thought about that.
"I don't know. Can we decide later?"
"No. We can't pick anything else without knowing what we have to spend."
Scarlett paced the room deep in thought. Although Adam claimed to own a string of quick oil-change spots, he never seemed to have much money. Scarlett paid for most of the dinners, especially if they ordered something here. His car was decent, but nothing compared to what he should be driving. The only sign of any wealth he did have sat on Scarlett's finger, bulky and sparkling.
"Traditionally," Kallie started. I could already tell she didn't want to say it. "The bride's parents pay for the ceremony. Would your dad help?"
"No," we both said at the same time.
"I don't want his help," she muttered.
Kallie took one quick glance at me and nodded. "Okay. Adam's parents?"
"They passed away a few years ago."
Kallie bit her lip, and I could see her running through options in her head. I knew what the next words should be out of her mouth. She should tell Scarlett that she couldn't afford this at the moment and to wait. But knowing Kallie, she’d find a way. She wouldn’t let Scarlett down. If we weren't both so stubborn, this could all be paid for. Our dad would easily do it… but neither of us would ever bother asking and bruising our pride.
Our dad had money. He’d worked in construction since he was a teenager and now runs a pretty reputable company. Scarlett held too much anger against him to let him help her. She hated what he did to our family. I did, too. Dad never tried very hard to get us back in his life either, though, so we couldn’t really be blamed for our feelings toward him.
"Oh, this looks nice," Kallie cooed, breaking up our moping.
We both walked around the bar to look at the laptop. There was a sunny beach with a couple standing under an arch covered in flowers. The brides dress was flowing in the wind, and the couple looked pretty causal for a wedding.
"Destination wedding?" Kallie asked, raising her eyebrows at my sister.
She smiled at the screen. It really did look like something I could see her doing. I didn't see her in a huge gown walking down the aisle of a church with hundreds of people watching. Her wedding would be unique, different, and, most importantly, fun.
"I don't know," she said, uncertainty evident in her tone. "It looks expensive."
Kallie looked at her phone quickly, stood up, and steered Scarlett to sit on the stool. "Chloe is going to be here soon and I need to hurry to the hotel to meet her, so I am going to say this once, and we are not going to argue about it."
"Who's Chloe?" I had to ask.
"A friend from school. Old roommate," she smiled at me. "She doesn't live far and is coming to keep me company for a few days."
"Oh, that's nice." I wasn't sure what else to say.
"I will be paying for your wedding. It will be my wedding gift to you. I got a huge, and I mean huge, signing bonus for landing a big account for the store." Kallie put her hand over Scarlett's mouth as soon as it opened. "I am doing this because I love you. You were there for me when no one else was. And mainly, I want to vacation in Hawaii."
Scarlett's eyes watered over and tears dripped down Kallie's hand, which
was still tightly covering her mouth. She shook her head furiously. I knew she was too proud and didn't want to be a charity case, but she was touched nonetheless. My chest warmed at the scene, but for only a second. Two girls with the biggest hearts became best friends.
"We can't let you do that," I finally spoke up.
"First of all," she glared at me over Scarlett's head, "this is not your wedding, therefore, not your call. It's not your choice to make."
I winced, remembering when I tried to tell her I wasn't good enough for her. She told me then it wasn't my choice to make. She was determined then that it was her decision, and she didn't let me back down. No matter how much I warned her to stay away, she wouldn't listen.
"Secondly, I don't want the money. I have nothing I want to do with it. I worked my ass off for it. I gave up so much and all I have to show for it is in a bunch of zeros in my bank account. This is what I want to spend it on."
Scarlett finally freed herself and pulled back. "He's right, you should use that money."
"Oh, I will," she laughed. "I'll be there, too. I will get a week or so in paradise with the people I care about most." Her eyes locked on mine, and I swallowed the ball in my throat. "There will be plenty left over for me if I decide I need another beamer or some more Victoria's Secret."
The girls had an intense stare down, and I could tell Kallie wasn’t going to back down. She had the look in her eyes that she had when she told Ivan off and when I told her to stay away from me. I saw the tension releasing in Scarlett's body and knew the battle was over. Scarlett hopped up and threw her arms around Kallie, making her fall back a few steps.
I retreated to my room to hide from the emotional and girly moment going down in my kitchen. I laid back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. I should be excited; my sister is getting every girl's dream. She's happy, and deep down, I'm happy for her. On the surface, I feel guilt. I feel guilty that the girl that I am pushing out of my life and unwilling to give a second chance to will be the one to thank for all that.
I was also worried about spending time with her in Hawaii. I moaned and pulled a pillow over my face, trying to force the image of her in a bikini out of my mind. I bet her hair gets lighter from the water and sun. I bet her blue eyes put the clear blue ocean to shame. I could imagine her on the sand with the waves and wind whipping around her.
Impacted (Conflicted Encounters #2) Page 5