"You deserve better," I told her.
"Than what?"
"Me. You should have someone that loves you, that isn't going to hurt you and push you away."
"I'll wait."
My throat closed up and my chest ached. She was stubborn and naive. Before I could argue more with her, she pulled away and was walking back to my truck. I closed and locked up Hank's barn before joining her. Kallie had turned on the radio on as I headed back to her hotel. She stuck her hand out the open window and sang along softly to the music on the way.
"What's Adam's last name?" she shouted over the music, startling me.
I turned down the volume, "I'm not sure. Why? You gonna run a background check on him?" I joked.
"Yeah." She leaned forward and turned the volume back up.
I didn't ask her anymore about it. She was probably serious. She was becoming protective of my sister. I knew she would do anything for her, but I just hoped Scarlett didn't find out what she was up to. She would be pissed that we didn't like him and were secretly trying to unearth some kind of damaging information.
"Do you know where an ATM would be?" Kallie asked when we reached the main strip of shops. "I want to go back to that antique store."
"Um, yeah, up here."
I pulled up to bank and pulled up to the machine. She handed me her card and gave me her pin. I withdrew more than enough for the jewelry she wanted. She shoved it in her purse and we were soon in front of her hotel.
"Thank you for the ride," she said. "I'll see you later tonight?"
"Yeah, I'll be there."
She grabbed her bag, and I watched her go into the revolving doors. I almost followed her up, but I needed my distance. When she was around, she flooded my senses. She was all I could see and smell. I always wanted to touch her, feel her skin, taste her. I couldn't think straight when she was around me.
After only a day of being with her, it ached to drive away from her. What would it feel like when she went back home again? I needed get my head back on and clear my mind of her. She was slowly wearing me down the more she was around. I could no longer keep from taking her whenever she begged.
I pulled up to Hank's barn again and opened the doors. I would bury myself in my work. It worked while she was away. It had kept me busy, and my mind off of her. I hoped to work on my baby, and maybe when I saw her again, I would l remember how she broke my heart. Hopefully I could keep my resolve and not crumble. If I was strong enough, I would come out of this whole thing alive.
I popped the hood of the Comet and went to work on pulling out the old parts. There wasn't much in the car that was worth keeping after it broke down seven years ago. I replaced almost every piece of the car and hoped to have it up and running any day now. I dreamed of the day when I would take her out on the road. I pictured the top down, the roar of the big block engine, and the wind blowing in my face.
Several hours went by without me even noticing. I stepped back and examined my work. I double-checked everything and sat in the front seat, hand on the key. Then I lost my nerve. She should be ready to start up. Everything was in place and brand-new or refurbished. If she didn't roar up at the turn of the key, I would be pissed.
I stepped out of the car and closed up the barn. Looking back once more, I left her waiting for me. I didn't think I was ready for the disappointment if it didn't start. Years and thousands of dollars would be down the drain. I couldn't take the heartbreak.
Working on the car did its job, though. I forgot about Kallie for the few hours until I was back in the truck. I could smell her shampoo mixed with the smoky smell that had clung to her this morning from the fire. I would be seeing her shortly, and I wasn't sure I wouldn't kiss her like I seemed to every time she was around.
Scarlett and Adam were mixing a salad in the kitchen when I walked in. They were giggling and throwing lettuce at each other. I grumbled and picked some pieces off the floor to throw away. Adam gave me a big smile that could only be fake. I waved back and jumped in the shower to wash the day away.
I came out to the living room just as Kallie was coming in the front door. I froze, mid-step, and took her in. Her face was pink, like she was out in the sun all day. Her hair was down and had streaks of black and teal mixed in under the blonde. She wore a pink, lace summer dress and flip-flops.
"Damn," Adam said. "You look hot."
"You do," Scarlett agreed. She was never the jealous type, but I wanted to punch him.
"It's gone," she huffed, dropping her bag to the counter.
"What?" Scarlett asked.
"The turquoise jewelry from Marie's in town. I went back for it, but it turns out she sold it."
Oh. "Did she tell you who she sold it to?" I asked her.
"No," she said, slumping on the stool. "Old quack was like a damn vault."
Scarlett and I laughed at her. She got even more worked up the more we laughed at her outburst. She was practically fuming by the time we calmed down. I walked up behind her and rubbed up and down her back, soothingly. I hated seeing her upset over anything. She pulled out the notebook they were using for the wedding planning and flipped through the pages. Doodles and lists flew by. Every page was full of drawings or writing.
"To make my day even better, I was informed that I need to attend that stupid event I was planning before I quit. My parents think it’s important I make an appearance. It's on Saturday and we leave the following Monday for Hawaii," she rambled. "I don't have time for this shit."
Scarlett spit out the wine in her mouth from the curse word that had just breezed out of Kallie’s mouth. I squeezed her shoulders until I felt them relax under my hands. Adam watched the interaction between all of us, looking confused and left out. He didn't know Kallie, so he didn't get why this was so amusing. He also had his head so far up his own ass he probably didn't even know his wedding was in Hawaii.
"I like the hair," I said into her ear once the lovebirds went back to cooking.
"Thank you," she whispered and leaned back into me. I continued to work the tension out of her shoulders. So much for staying strong and not touching her. I haven't kissed her though… yet.
"Why don't you go have a seat and I'll bring you a glass of wine," Scarlett offered Kallie.
"Good idea," she mumbled. She gathered up her notebook, grabbed her computer off the counter, and went to sit on the couch. I handed her a glass of wine that Adam poured before sitting down next to her.
She handed me something that looked like wiring. "I made you this," she mumbled.
I took in my hands and looked at it. It was old car wiring harness. "Where did this come from?"
"The barn. It was in the trash," she shrugged.
The red, orange, and blue wires were braided together and clipped together with the wiring clip. It was from the Comet that I tore out because most of it was chewed up and a fire hazard. The wire was still covered in some grease, like the hose clamp bracelet she made. It was a piece of the car that I brought home at sixteen.
Before I knew it, I broke my no-kissing rule. I grabbed both sides of her face and kissed her deeply. I leaned into her, pushing her back against the couch. "I love it," I said against her lips, and I felt her smile.
"Let me see," Scarlett said, grabbing it from where I set it down on the coffee table. "This is cool. You always find the most random stuff and make it cool."
"Thank you," she said with pink cheeks. I pulled her up so she was back in her sitting position.
"You could sell shit like this," Scarlett told her.
"I do," Kallie laughed.
"No, I mean like recycled and reused stuff like this. Design, like you always wanted to. Marie would sell it on consignment."
"Screw that old bird," Kallie mumbled. I laughed. She really was pissed.
When dinner was ready, we all sat around the coffee table with ravioli. Kallie grilled Adam with questions. Where did he grow up? Where did he go to school? Any siblings? He was obviously uncomfortable with the interrogation,
but no one tried to save him. He gave short and simple answers. I started to get the feeling that Kallie was talking about. Clearly something was up with him.
What really made my older, even if only by a few minutes, brother hairs stand on end was when they were talking about the guest list. He claimed he had no siblings and his parents had passed years ago. He said he had a few friends that might want to come down, but no family. A wedding is supposed to be a once in a lifetime event, surely he had more than three people that would care enough to come and see?
"Who will give you away?" Kallie asked Scarlett. She was biting her lip, and I could tell it was something she didn't want to ask.
"Can Ryder?" I smiled.
"He could, but then I would come down by myself." Images of Kallie dressed up flashed through my mind.
"I don't want my dad to do it," she said bitterly.
"Then he won't," Kallie assured her.
The girls talked a little more about some of the wedding details, and Adam seemed completely bored with the conversation. I wasn't even getting married, but I was interested in all the things they would be running around and trying to get done before we flew out in a few weeks. There was a lot of work that they needed to do, and the asshole wasn't even listening.
"Well, I better take off," Adam said, standing up.
"It's early," Scarlett whined.
"I gotta work in the morning," he said, leaning down and kissing her on the top of the head.
Scarlett got up and walked him down to his car. Kallie took the cleared plates to the kitchen and rinsed them off.
"Want more wine?" I asked her.
"No, I need to drive soon."
I hated her staying in that hotel. It seemed pointless to spend the money when she stayed here before. I also hated when she slept on the couch, but my bed wasn't a better option. Sleeping in bed together would be crossing the line and take us right back into the territory where we were before.
"Look, I'm just going to ask you," she said, spinning around to face me. "If you don't want to, it's fine."
"Okay," I said, nervous.
"Will you come to Cleveland with me for the Pandora Launch Gala? It was an account that I worked months on securing, and my father insists I need to at least show up to the event that I planned."
I just stared at her. Was she asking me out on a date? To a fancy and rich person event?
"If you don't want to go, it's fine," she rambled, playing with her bracelet. "I worked really hard on this and I really should show and get the credit for it. I can find another date if you don't want to."
"I'll go," I stopped her. I pictured her walking into to some lavish room with another guy draped on her arm. Nope.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"I have brunch with my parents the morning of," she said slowly. "You would meet them."
I nodded and the door swung open. Scarlett finished her make out session at the car and started on about shopping plans. I walked away feeling like I made a deal with the devil. I didn't' do galas or meeting the parents, yet I just agreed to both those things. I became so wrapped up in the idea of someone else with her that I’d acted on impulse. She always brought that out in me. Why can't I ever think with my brain for once?
After Kallie left for her place, I tired to occupy myself with funny movies. My mind was everywhere but on what was going on in front of me. I eventually gave up and went to my room. After a quick shower, I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I watched the time tick by on my alarm clock. I had to get up early for work, but I was no where near sleep.
Maybe I should meet her parents. Maybe then she would see how different we were. She may be able to pretend to belong in my world, but I wouldn't be able to pretend to belong in hers. Her parents would write me off the second they saw me. She would say she didn't care about making them happy, but I knew deep down that she did.
She already proved she did. She went home once for them and changed right back into who they wanted her to be. One day home, back in the world she should be in, she would see the error in her ways. I just had to stay strong enough for when realization hit her. I would be doing her a favor, setting her free to live something better, while also leaving my heart intact.
That night, my sleep was restless and almost nonexistent. It wasn't a nightmare; it was about her. I would wake up from the scene of wreckage, drenched in sweat and shaking. I would fall asleep only to wake up again with her on my mind. The one thing that tortured my mind repeatedly was the tattoo she had on her ribcage. I would see her feather breaking into birds flying away.
Sometimes I would see it in motion. The birds would be taking off of her skin and flying away into the wind. Other times it would be on her body and I would trace the lines and color with my tongue or fingers. I could feel her skin under my touch, and when my alarm went off, I needed a cold shower.
I stepped out from the frigid water and got ready for work. I waited for the coffee, knowing I would be in a bad mood today from the blue balls and lack of sleep. I was shocked to see Scarlett dragging herself out of her room before I walked out the door.
"It's before noon," I warned her.
"I know," she grunted. "Kallie wanted to go shopping early. Bitch."
I laughed at her and went to my truck, ready to start my shitty day.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Kallie
"I think this is the one," Scarlett said in an almost whisper. She was standing on a platform surrounded by mirrors. She was wearing an ivory, tea-length gown. The top was strapless lace and the organza skirt came down just below her knees. With a pair of teal sandals, she looked glamorous.
"It's perfect," I agreed. Even better, they had it in her size. We didn't have time for ordering or alterations.
She looked so gorgeous that part of me really hoped this wedding actually happened. Adam still gave me an uneasy feeling and googling him last night brought up nothing, which was even more suspicious. No Facebook, Twitter, or even a profile as his company "owner". I was hoping he just cared about privacy and wasn’t trying to hide something.
After trying on at least twenty dresses, it seemed like she’d finally found the one. We drove almost two hours to a bridal boutique. I had to constantly remind her that it would be warm and she should pick something light and comfortable. This dress was perfect so we paid and left the store. The groom and best man would be casual in khaki shorts and ivory button up shirts, but they would need to go shopping another day.
We spent the rest of the afternoon buying black invitation stationary and the perfect fake flowers. We couldn't take live flowers on the plane, plus it was cheaper to make them ourselves. I had a sinking feeling I was taking on too many projects with not enough time, but I had nothing but time on my hands. It would be like cramming for a test; I had been good at that once.
Scarlett dragged me into one more clothing boutique when I thought I was ready to drop. It was a small family owned place that designed their own dresses. I doubted we would find a dress for me, but I didn't want to ruin Scarlett's perky mood. The place was small and a young man greeted us at the door.
I saw the dress on the stand as soon as we walked in. It was the perfect teal to go with the color theme we chose based on the turquoise jewelry I saw in town and couldn’t stop thinking about. While the salesman spoke with Scarlett, I ignored them and walked in a trance to the dress. It had a corset top covered in lace that laced up the back and flowed into a short chiffon skirt.
"Want to try this on?" a woman in her forties asked. She smiled kindly at me, and I nodded.
She unlaced the corset and slipped it off the stand. I took the dress and stepped into a small section closed off by a dark velvet curtain. I undressed and slipped the dress over my head. Once my breasts were secured in the top and the skirt covered over my butt, I pulled open the curtain and stepped out.
"Wow," Scarlett said, her eyes roaming over my outfit. "I just love the color. You look hot."
I tur
ned around and let her lace up the back of the dress for me. Looking in the mirror, I fell in love. It was tight on the top, enough to show of my slim waist, and actually managed to make my small boobs look bigger. It was sexy, with a hint of innocence and cuteness. The skirt came to just about my knees, flaring out. It would be perfect for the tropical weather.
"I'll take it," I told the woman.
We rang up and walked out of the store with the dress in a garment bag over my shoulder. We hung it up in the back seat with Scarlett's gown and headed back to the apartment after grabbing something quick to eat. The day was busy enough to keep my mind occupied, but now on the long drive back, I started thinking too much.
I was happy for Scarlett, and I really hoped I was wrong about Adam. Based on my own love life, I had no room to pass judgment. Who was I to say they weren't in love? I thought I knew what love was once. I know I loved Carter, and still loved him. It was a young and innocent love. A first love that never fades and its purpose was to teach you what love is.
Meeting Ryder changed the way I saw things, how I saw myself. I was heartbroken and lost, thinking I had lost the only love I would ever have. I thought I loved Ryder and he loved me back. I won't say that I don't anymore, and I also don't believe he doesn't have the same feelings for me. We're stuck in this weird limbo state.
One thing was certain— our bodies still wanted each other, no matter what our mind or heart thought. He couldn't resist me anymore than I could him. He was so angry with himself in the workshop for giving in. If the sex wasn't so hot and arousing, I may have been mad, too. I promised myself that if he wasn't willing to give his all to me, I wouldn't let myself fall anymore than I already had.
Little by little, my Ryder peeked through. His touches, words, and kisses told me nothing had changed. Then his actions would tell me I screwed up beyond repair. I was positive that in the amount of time we were apart, he did not fall out of love with me. He still felt the same. The only problem was he wasn't willing to act on it or admit it.
Impacted (Conflicted Encounters #2) Page 9