"Stay with me," I whispered in her ear as we started to pour into a taxi.
She turned and looked at me, confused. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Stay. With. Me." I clarified. "Forever." It wasn't a proposal, but a promise, a question of forever and a future.
"Forever," she confirmed before pulling my neck down to kiss me.
I cupped her face and held her lips tightly to mine. I breathed in her exhale, swallowed it, and let it reside inside me. I wanted all of her. All of her cries, breaths, and smiles. I would never have enough and I wanted to spend the rest our lives trying to reach the point of fullness. I would take everything she was willing to give and never get sick of it. I knew what it was like to lose her, to fall in love with her and then hate her. My favorite would always be loving her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Kallie
Leaving paradise was harder than I thought it would be. I felt like I was trapped in a blissful bubble on this island, and I didn't want it to pop yet. Of course it was raining when we woke up that morning to pack. It perfectly matched my somber mood. I only smiled when Ryder handed me the two boxes of jewelry. Both meant the world to me and put my life in perspective. I was saddened Scarlett never got to wear my family heirloom.
Ryder went to Marie's and bought the turquoise that I wanted the following day. He cared then and I had to believe he always would. He asked me to move in. He wanted to keep me forever. The way he said forever made my heart jump and think he meant more than the words he was saying. I was elated and terrified at the same time.
What if he went home and changed his mind? What if he was still angry at me for leaving? I believed him with all my heart; I just hoped he knew what he was asking for. He already had my heart and that never changed. I would never hurt him again, and I never wanted to be without him. I pushed my worries to the back of my mind and left the hotel room with Ryder.
He held my hand down to the lobby and put his arm around me in the cab ride. Our group was quiet and subdued in the airport. We lost the excitement we had on the way down here. We were headed back to reality, with work and responsibilities. It dawned on me; I had no work or responsibilities. I had no idea what to do with myself when I returned and moved in with Ryder.
"You're thinking too hard, pretty girl," Ryder teased, hugging my shoulder with his while we waited to board the plane.
"I'm moving in with you," I said.
"I hope so," he started. "Why? Are you changing your mind?" I could see the panic and hurt in his face.
"No, baby," I rushed. He visibly relaxed. "I just don't know what to do after that. Do I work at Minnie's? How do I tell my parents? And -," Ryder cut me off with his lips.
"Please stop over thinking this," he whispered on my skin. "You can do whatever you want to do. You want to go back to Minnie's? Then you can. You could live off your bonus money and make your own jewelry if you want. The world is yours to do what you want with, baby. I just want you to be you and be happy."
I closed my eyes tightly and rested my forehead on his. I let his words wash over me and sink in deep. I was waiting forever to hear those words from someone. I just wanted to find my own way and be happy. I ran away and found Ryder in search of that very thing. I found more than I ever thought I would.
The flights home were endless. It was pure torture, filled with uncomfortable seats, layovers, and crappy airplane food. There were no sky-high parties like the flight there. It was quiet and depressing. We took turns sitting with Scarlett, but she barely spoke. I think the reality of flying home reminded her that she was flying home alone and with the same last name that she left with.
I napped on and off in Ryder's arms. After half a day of flying, my mind started to slow down. His arms were strong around me and his kisses were tender and loving. I knew deep down that everything would be okay. I would tell my parents I was moving in with my boyfriend, and I would make custom pieces to sell in town. It was that easy. I didn't need to overthink it.
I knew from experience that I never wanted to do something I didn't want to ever again. I remembered the empty feeling I had every day I was in Cleveland. I wasn't living. I was existing. It wasn't enough and I learned that the hard way. At least my time away taught me that. I almost lost Ryder in the process, but I leaned a lot about myself, and it's a lesson I wouldn't forget.
"Do you want kids?" I asked over the hum of the plane engines.
Ryder tightened his grip around me as we cuddled in the seats. "I don't know, honestly. Never really thought about it. Do you?"
I tilted my head up to look at him. "I don't know. I always assumed I did because that's what you do. Grow up, get married, and have babies. Now, I feel like I have to rethink everything and I get to decide for myself."
"For us," he corrected, and I nodded.
"Us." I wove my fingers through his and squeezed.
It was dark when we finally landed in Cincinnati. I was exhausted and nauseous from the airplane food and constant movement. Scarlett and I sat on a luggage cart while the guys searched through baggage claim. Both of us refused to move, so Logan pushed us through the airport while Ryder and Caleb carried the bags.
We piled into the school van and greeted Mr. Rhodes with a series of grunts and moans. After dropping off Mrs. Brooks, he took us all back to the apartment. Without speaking, we setup in the living room like we had the night before we left for Hawaii. No one should be driving home this tired. I desperately wanted to shower, but I didn't want to walk all the way to the bathroom.
The next morning, voices woke me from my deep slumber. I opened my eyes and found myself alone on the living room floor. The smell of coffee wafted in the room and I sat up to find my boyfriend. Ryder was walking to me with coffee in hand. His hair was messy, sticking up in random directions. I ran my fingers through it, adding to the mess of darkness I loved so much.
"Morning," he said in a thick voice. He must not have been up long.
"Morning." I smiled and kissed him softly. He reached out his hand and helped me up to my feet.
I joined the guys in the kitchen and glanced over to Scarlett's closed door. "She okay?" I asked.
"Hard to tell," Ryder said.
I set my empty cup in the sink and knocked on her door. After she called me in, I opened the door. Scarlett was sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes. She was pulling out her art supplies and putting them back on the desk. Clothes were strewn around the room and she didn't look up from her task when I came in. She was supposed to be moving tomorrow morning into a house with Adam, which may or may not have existed.
"Why did you guys let me do this?" she asked me as she tossed an empty box over to the corner.
"What do you mean?"
"You guys didn't like him, I could tell. I thought it was just the boys being over protective, but you guys knew something was up. Why didn't anyone try to stop me?" She looked up at me with wet eyes.
"I'm sorry," I said, kneeling down to the floor next to her. "I didn't think you would listen. I wanted proof, but I also wanted to believe he was right for you."
"You didn't come up with any proof?"
I sighed. "I asked my head of security to look into him, but he never came back with anything. Ryder and I followed him once."
"And?" Her eyes were wide with surprise.
"He said he was going home, but we followed him to a casino. He seemed to be a regular there," I admitted.
"What the actually fuck, Kallie," she scolded as she stood up to glare down at me. "You guys didn't think that you needed to tell me that? He was lying to me, and you guys fucking knew it?"
"I didn't think you would believe us," I defended. "I'm sorry."
"Quit being sorry," she grounded. "I don't want your pity. I looked like a complete idiot! There was a reason I didn't let guys in, and he only cemented that for me. Now, get out of my room."
"What? Scar, I'm sorry," I pleaded.
"Just go," she said softly. "I'll get over it. I'll get over
all of it soon, just not this second. I hate being made a fool of and I can't take any more pity from another fucking person. So please, just leave me alone."
"Scarlett," a voice boomed behind me. Ryder stood in the doorway, giving his sister a reprimanding glare.
"Fuck you, too," she snarled. I stood and brushed past him, finding that the guys had left already.
"I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that," Ryder said behind me after her door slammed closed.
"No, I did. She has every right to be pissed," I admitted. "I can understand not wanting the pity. She just needs her space."
Ryder nodded but still looked conflicted. I walked over to my bags and dug around for something to wear. I pulled out a pair of jeans and plain black v-neck shirt. I found my bag with all my makeup and shower stuff and headed to the bathroom off the living room.
"Where you going?" Ryder asked.
"To shower," I told him.
"I was thinking," he started, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked nervous. "You want to move your stuff into my bathroom? Our bathroom?"
I smiled. "You want my girly stuff taking over?"
"Yeah, I actually do. Unless you changed your mind?"
I shook my head. I was so used to being the guest here. I was always sure to stay out of his space, even before I left for home. I never wanted to push him too far. Ryder was never one for commitment, and I didn't want to intrude on his life. I took my stuff and walked past him and into his bathroom.
I took the longest shower possible, trying to wash off the travel. I ran the water until it started to grow cold. I felt guilty for using all the hot water, but it was worth it. I felt refreshed as I stepped out of the shower and wrapped up in a soft towel. When I came out into the bedroom, the rest of my bags were in the bedroom and Ryder was sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Will you move in with me?" he asked with his sexy smile.
"You already asked me that," I teased.
"Well, I am asking again, without the influence of the ocean or perfect atmosphere. I wanted you know I still want this."
"I do, too," I answered as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. "I have to go home and get some things from my place still," I said against his lips.
He nodded and I felt his body tense under me. I knew he hated the thought of me going home, but I was going to prove that he had nothing to worry about. The sound of a door slamming broke us apart and we listened to the sound of footsteps running down the steps. Ryder leaned over and looked out the window as Scarlett's car tore out of the parking lot.
"Everyone works through things their own way," I told him, trying to ease the look of concern on his face. "I'm gonna go call my mom."
Ryder let me up and I grabbed my phone from the counter. Once down in the parking lot, I hit my mom's contact and waited to hear her voice on the line.
"Hey, Mom," I said once she answered.
"How was it? You make it home safe?" she asked immediately.
"It was great. It was so beautiful, I never wanted to leave. And I'm home, safe and sound."
"How was the wedding?" she asked.
I sighed and filled her in on the events that lead up to Adam, or Jacob, being escorted away in cuffs. I told her how we still had a party in place of the reception and trashed the dress. She actually laughed when I told her about splashing paint all over the gown. I never thought she would find that sort of behavior funny.
"Mom, Ryder asked me to move in with him," I finally said, holding my breath for her response.
"You said yes." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. She said it knowingly, without any anger. "You're an adult. I will miss you and I wish it wasn't so far away, but this is your choice to make."
"Really? You don't think I'm moving too fast or making a huge mistake?" Those were the words I expected to hear from her.
She laughed softly. "That's something you need to figure out on your own. I can't tell you, you need to learn it and find out for yourself. With great love comes the possibility of great heartbreak. I worry about you and want you to be happy, but you won't hold back because you're scared."
"Thank you," I whispered. I always valued my mother's advice because I was raised to. I was raised to always obey and respect my parents. I never questioned their decisions or rules before Carter's death. At this moment, her words made sense to me and I agreed. Not because I should, but because I believed in it too. "I'll come by tomorrow for my things. Will you talk to daddy for me, please?"
"Yes," she agreed. "He loves you. He will be upset you're leaving, but it's only because you're his little girl."
"I know, Mom. I love you."
We said our goodbyes, and I went back up the apartment. We spent the day unpacking and doing laundry. Ryder would have to work in the morning and I was dangerously low on things to wear. It felt strange hanging things up in his closet. Everything in this apartment always felt like his. I felt like I was intruding, even though he told me repeatedly I was not. I believed him; I could see it in his face how much he really wanted me here. It just didn't make the feeling any less awkward.
That evening, Ryder cooked dinner and we watched a movie. I kept waiting for the door to burst open and Scarlett to come barreling through it. It never did. I was worried and she wouldn't answer any of my texts or calls. I am assuming she went back to the pre-Adam Scarlett, staying out all night with strangers. As much as I didn't think that was the best way to handle what she was feeling, there was no way of stopping her. I stayed up late until my eyelids refused to stay open.
"Come on, baby. Let's get to bed."
"I'm not tired," I lied. He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows at me while I yawned.
"She'll come home. She's an adult, and we can't control her."
I nodded and followed him into his bedroom. Our bedroom. Ryder pulled down the covers and I slipped in next to him, resting my head on his shoulder.
"Are you sure you don't want to wait until I'm off to go get your stuff?" he asked for the tenth time.
"Yeah. It's just clothes and stuff," I told him. The place came furnished when I moved in and I didn't want my childhood bedroom set. There was nothing heavy, and if I hurried, we could still have the night together.
"Can you take the comforter and sheets from the apartment? They were really soft," he asked.
I laughed. "Of course," I said. I smiled thinking there would be a little bit of me in the bedroom. He wasn't against letting me change things in his place.
The next morning, I woke when Ryder's alarm went off. He leaned over to shut it off before placing a soft kiss to my lips. He groaned as he got of the bed and pulled on his jeans and black shirt. I watched the muscles in his wide back move as he moved around the room to get ready. He turned around and caught me staring.
"I could get used to this," he whispered, leaning over me to kiss me again. "I'll make coffee."
I smiled and stretched, still feeling stiff from a day of sitting in planes and airports. It was weird to think that twenty-four hours ago we were in paradise. I was worried that coming back home would change things between us, but I was wrong. Ryder didn't seem to be pushing me away, and I was sure in my decision to move down here.
I wasn't sure what I would do for work or anything yet, but I knew I wanted to be with someone who made me happy. I needed to be where I felt alive. I threw on a pair of shorts and tank top before going out to the kitchen. I glanced at Scarlett's door, which was still open.
"She didn't come home," he answered my unspoken question.
"Should I be worried?" I asked as I took the travel mug of coffee he was handing me.
"No. I'll track her down today. This isn't the first time she’s done this," he told me.
"I know, but I just worry because she was so upset."
"You have a huge heart, Kallie Adams. That's why I love you," he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "You sure you don't want me to go with you?"
I looked up in his eyes and
saw the concern there. He was either nervous about the long drive alone, or the fact I was going home again. Without him.
"Yes. I will text you and call you. I won't take long," I promised, giving him a serious look and trying to chase away the worries he had.
I knew my words wouldn't be enough. Words could lie and mislead. We'd both seen enough in the past to know that. Actions were what mattered. What I did proved that I loved him. I knew deep in my heart that I finally knew what I wanted and I was sure of it. I left last summer confused, hurt, and swarming with emotions. I wasn't strong enough to realize that I was miserable without him. I'm strong enough now to know that nothing can keep us apart.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Ryder
"Dude, your girl's box is getting a little full over there," Tom pointed out as I clocked in for the day. I looked over and saw he was right. The box of random pieces we were saving for Kallie was overfilling and another one had been setup. It was already half-full.
"Thanks. I'll take them home tonight," I told them.
I headed to the back office and looked over the list of projects, trying to pick out what I would do for the day.
"Sorry about your sister," Travis said, patting me on the shoulder. "If I ever see that guy, I'm gonna remove his teeth with my fist."
"Not if I get to him first," I grumbled. Travis took me in as soon as I left home at eighteen. He gave me a job at the shop and taught me most of what I know about cars. He was always looking out for me, and in turn, my other half. I smiled gratefully and patted him on the back as I walked out to the shop. Our own father didn't even bother to RSVP to the wedding and here was Travis, taking on that fatherly role for us.
I checked my phone and saw Kallie texted me that she was heading back north. I told her to be careful and tried to keep busy so I wouldn't worry about her. It was a long drive back to her apartment in the city and her parents' house was a bit of a hike from there as well. I wanted to be with her while she packed up her things. I hated that she had to tell them on her own that she would be leaving home. I felt like it should have been something we did together.
Impacted (Conflicted Encounters #2) Page 22