by Tara Frejas
“Sing the song to me like you mean it,” she told him, releasing his hands and letting them rest on his lap. “Tell me your story. Make me feel like you’re embracing me with your voice because you can’t do it for real.”
It was Jericho who helped Ramon with his song selection. More than choosing something that was suitable for his vocal range, the musical director advised him to pick a song he could relate to. “We can tweak arrangements easily,” Jericho had said. “It’s more challenging to put your heart into something you can’t connect with.”
This Ryan Cayabyab composition could well be his torch song, Ramon thought. If he rehearsed well enough, he was confident he could do justice to it. It just never occurred to him that Erin would ask to hear it, and in this intimate manner, no less.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
The first line came out like a whisper, like his lungs were begging for more air. He sang the second with a little more force, yet he wasn’t sure he liked how that came out.
“Look at me,” he heard Erin whisper. When he opened his eyes to meet hers, his heart ached. Iniibig Kita was a confession of love and a desperate appeal to be heard and acknowledged. Ramon meant every line, and singing them to her hurt.
The neutral expression Erin wore on her face revealed a hint of approval as he reached the end of the song’s first chorus. “Good. That sounded better!” She patted his knee. “What do you think?”
“Y-yeah, I think I get what you mean. Thanks, Erin,” he said, throat parched all of a sudden. She flashed him a bright, accomplished grin, like he’d done something to make her proud. As the painful knots in his chest unfurled one by one, Ramon smiled too.
“Sometimes you have to let the song grow inside of you a little more. Are you recording your voice? It helps!”
Erin went on to tell him about how she was obsessed with recording herself sing and act while preparing for Chronicles of a Breakup that she had “a bajillion” files in her laptop.
“Oh! Let’s go up to the library,” she offered, leaving her seat and skipping happily toward the door.
Ramon looked up at her, eyes fixed at the smiling unicorn printed over her blue shirt. Her energy was infectious as usual. “What are we going to do?”
“I’ll show you the first and last shows of Chronicles of a Breakup, main cast and alternates,” she declared. “I think you’re going to learn a thing or two by observing the differences each actor went through from opening to closing night.”
“Interesting…” he mused aloud. “Okay, I’ll just fix my stuff.”
“I’ll wait for you by the staircase.”
The room felt a little less crowded when Erin left, making it easier for Ramon to breathe. He was just starting to get used to Erin’s fondness for physical contact, but this impromptu serenade left him reeling. Like somebody took him on a rollercoaster ride against his will.
Putting a hand against his chest, he exhaled a long breath, convinced now that Erin Javier was birthed into this world to kill him. Gently, with a warm smile on her face.
He found Erin at the foot of the lobby staircase a little while later, typing something on her phone. But the smile that now lit her face had a different glow. A glow Ramon attributed to Pio’s presence in her life.
Ramon had been there when the popular actor asked Erin out. There, meaning, he was waiting for Jericho at the second floor veranda—right above the theatre building’s front steps—when he saw Pio and Erin talking. He would have had the decency not to eavesdrop, but what could he do when his feet refused to move?
The sight of her giving Pio her number, his triumphant smile as he left, and Erin’s giggly disposition afterward was enough to crush Ramon’s self-esteem.
“Shall we head upstairs?” he asked as he approached.
“Oh—um. Can we do it tomorrow? Pio just texted. He said he’ll pick me up for dinner tonight, so I have to go.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry, Ramoncitoooo...”
Weak to her puppy eyes, he looked away when she implored him not to be mad. But he wasn’t mad. He wasn’t that petty. He was, however, disappointed at himself for keeping his hopes up, for thinking he won a couple more hours with Erin without much effort.
“We’ll see it tomorrow, I promise,” Erin said. “And lunch is on me.”
“No,” Ramon quickly declined. “I’m buying lunch tomorrow. You know where Balai Esperanza is, don’t you?"
She blinked at him, as though surprised. “Oh. Yeah. That new-ish Filipino restaurant in Morato?”
“Yeah, that one. Is twelve noon okay?”
“Sounds good!” Erin grinned. “I’ve never been there, so yay! I heard their food is great.” She bounced on her heels again, and Ramon couldn’t help but smile at how endearing it was.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?
“Okay!” She gave him a hug and quickly disengaged to make a dash for the front door.
“Hey, Erin!” Ramon called out, suddenly reminded of something. “You can call me for anything, okay? Y’know...just in case.”
Erin’s hand was already on the door handle when she paused and glanced at Ramon. The smile on her face told him she knew what he wanted to say. “I hope I don’t have to!” she laughed. “But thanks for the thought. I’ll see you tomorrow!”
In her haste, Erin almost tripped over as she ran down the theatre building’s front steps. Ramon, who was watching through the lobby’s glass panels, moved to run to her on instinct, only to stop when he saw she was able to keep her balance. He saw her look over her shoulder, to check perhaps if anyone was around to witness her almost-accident.
She met Ramon’s eyes and flashed him an embarrassed grin. He frowned at her and shook his head, as if to say, “Be careful, would you?”
“Labyu!” she yelled, raising a peace sign for him to see.
Ramon only sighed and waved her off.
I love you too.
Nine
There should be a handbook on first dates. Or dates in general. Maybe then Erin wouldn’t have taken two hours trying to find the perfect thing to wear. Maybe then she would know what to talk about in the car on the way to wherever it was Pio planned on taking her.
Because even if she was able to put something nice together (a navy blue dress that’s neither too casual nor dressy and a pair of comfortable-enough pair of heels), the first twenty or so minutes of their car ride was painfully awkward.
Pio made small talk. He asked questions, she answered. Erin was aware her answers were awfully curt, but it was only because she couldn’t yet decide if she should over share. Besides, his answers to her questions weren’t as elaborate either.
Thankfully, Pio offered to put on some music and the original cast recording to Wicked came on. From that moment, their trivial chatter flew out the window, replaced with stuff Disney movies and Broadway musicals were made of: random duets.
“Hey! We sound good together,” he blurted out after they finished singing As Long As You’re Mine. The bright, boyish smile on his face made Erin smile too.
“Yeah, I guess.”
He let out a laugh. “That was me trying to get you to reconsider auditioning...”
“Nah-uh. Try harder.”
A few more duets and tiny fits of laughter later, they arrived at a private condominium in Bonifacio Global City. Erin couldn’t help but feel intimidated, especially when she was assisted out of the car by a valet in a three-piece suit. Pio got out of the car as well and gave his keys to the valet before offering Erin his arm. “Let’s go.”
Reluctantly, she linked her arm around his. He took a glance at her hand when her fingers touched his skin. “You should’ve told me that the AC was too cold,” he said and placed his free hand over hers for warmth.
“It’s all right.” She didn’t tell him the car air conditioning wasn’t at fault.
Pio pressed the number 42 button as soon as they entered the elevator, where
they once again acted like strangers who didn’t know what to talk about. Erin watched the numbers on the panel above the door light up one after the other as the car moved up. She felt her ears pop.
A soft nudge to her side made her turn and look at her date. “Hey. Do I need to play more music so we can start talking? I have more OCRs saved in my phone.”
She was about to say something when the elevator slowed and reached its destination.
Are you fricking kidding me, she thought, as the doors opened and revealed the entrance to a posh roof top lounge.
“This is our floor.”
“We’re having dinner here?”
“Yes. Unless you want to go somewhere else?”
“N-no. It’s just. Wow.”
He patted her hand. “Come on.”
As they entered the lounge, Erin’s eyes caught sight of a signage by the entrance that said: Sky Lounge closed for private function, 7-9PM. “Pio, I don’t think we should be here,” she whispered, eyeing the lady in a neatly pressed gray blouse approaching them. “There’s a private thing going on—”
Pio glanced over his shoulder and smiled. “I know. Don’t worry.”
“Good evening, Mr. Alvez,” the lady in the gray blouse greeted. “Your table is ready. This way, please…”
Erin bit her lip. Did Pio book this entire place? For one date? Is he insane?
All those thoughts were brushed aside for a moment when they were finally ushered to their table, a spot at the lounge that had the most perfect view of the city at night. Instantly captivated by the sparkling city lights in the distance, Erin didn’t notice Pio pulling out a chair for her until a few seconds later. She thanked him and took a seat.
“Erin?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t seem…happy.”
“Oh—um, of course not!” she laughed nervously and fidgeted with the menu they were provided with. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting something this…grand? Butbut this is fine! It’s amazing, actually. Thank you.”
A wide grin appeared on Pio’s face, sending the butterflies in Erin’s stomach in a frenzy.
“Sorry,” he laughed. “I’d love to take you on a normal date too, but I decided to pull all the stops on the first one just in case you’d decide this would also be the last.”
“You are insane.”
“I know, right?”
“Wait, I said that out loud.” She cupped both hands over her mouth. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re right. I am insane—and also very hungry, can we order food now?”
Erin flipped the menu open. “Sure!”
“Order anything you want. The ribs are awesome here. And the salmon, and the lobster too. My mom loves the lobster.” He paused. “You don’t have any food allergies, do you?”
She shook her head. “I can eat anything.”
“Awesome!”
Erin couldn’t help but keep stealing glances at Pio as she pretended to read the menu. He seemed so relaxed, so put together. And so handsome in his powder blue dress shirt and charcoal gray coat. The light stubble on his chin made him look a little more mature than she was used to seeing, but it suited him, somehow. In fact, she found it rather sexy. Even the lighting seemed to favor him, playing up his facial features nicely.
When he ran his hand through his hair and raised his eyes to meet hers, it was as if time slowed down.
Wait, what if this is just a dream?
She snuck a hard pinch on the back of her hand and let out a soft whimper. Pio jerked an eyebrow. “Hm?”
“N-nothing. I think I’m ready to order.”
It’s really happening, Erin. Welcome to your first date.
* * *
As Pio engaged her in a lively conversation about the most random things, Erin found herself caring less about the view and more about how to keep this chat going. She relished everything from the animated way he told her backstage anecdotes, to the way his voice carried a soothing, malambing tone that she liked. Even the way he chewed his food and drank red wine looked so fascinating to her.
As the night grew older, Erin remembered to take a picture of the majestic city lights. For a split second, she thought of Ramon and wondered how he’d like this place. Had he gone to a place like this in Singapore, she wondered. She’d have to ask him tomorrow.
She turned to Pio and snapped a photo of him wiping his lips with a cloth napkin. Snap. Snap. Snap.
“Cute mo,” she giggled, then showed him the photo she took.
He spared the photo a glance and flashed her a hesitant smile. “Uh—Erin?”
“Hm?”
“I’m sorry I have to ask you this but...would you mind not posting anything about this on social media?” He held his palms up. “It’s just that my management is building up my on-screen partnership with Liezl, so I need to be extra careful about my personal affairs.”
Erin recalled seeing a promotional photo of Pio and TV actress Liezl Escueta for a local doughnut brand a few weeks ago. Being somewhat out of touch with local showbiz news, she didn’t immediately realize they were an item. Filipinos did love their on-screen pairings—loveteams, they’re fondly called—and fans can be a little too protective of them if, for example, someone else came along and posed a threat.
“Yeah, okay. I understand.” Erin agreed. “Do you want me to delete this?”
“No, no. It’s all right. In fact, I want us to take a photo together—but please keep it private. At least for the meantime?”
She agreed, but eyed him suspiciously. “Are you sure it’s not just because some jealous girl will come after you if they see a photo of us?”
“I’m not seeing anyone,” Pio declared. His smile was so arresting Erin almost didn’t catch the words he said next. “At least not until today.”
She wrinkled her nose. It was the only thing she could do to keep from giggling like a school girl with a crush.
“You don’t believe me.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You just wrinkled your nose. Either you think I’m lying, or you’re not impressed.”
“Part of me still thinks I’m being pranked.”
The way Pio tilted his head while keeping his eyes on her reminded Erin of Hiraya. Oh god, is he trying to figure me out?
“Have you been lied to all your life?”
“No. I’ve been pranked a lot, though.”
Pio’s smile dimmed. “I’m sorry to hear that…but you have to believe me when I say I’m not willing to pull that many strings so they could close down this lounge just for us. Truth is, I’ve had a little crush on you since seeing Minsan Tayo.”
Erin felt like her heart stopped beating for a second. She reached for her glass of wine and drank the rest of its contents in one gulp. Pio Alvez has a crush on me? What kind of alternate reality is this?
“Erin, please say something.”
“Um. Wow?”
“Okay, if you need more proof…” Pio placed his phone on the table and dialed Jericho Abueva’s number, putting it on speaker phone as soon as the call was picked up.
Erin stared at the phone, unsure what Pio was up to.
“Yo, Alvez. What’s up?”
“Hey, man.” Pio met Erin’s eyes and pressed his index finger against his lips. “Sorry to bother you this late, but...do you know what kind of flowers Erin likes?”
A hearty chuckle emanated from the other line. “Man. You’re really serious about pursuing her this time, aren’t you?”
“I have to start sometime, right?” Pio replied, never taking his eyes off Erin.
“Wait—are you joining Hanggang Ulap so you could spend time with Erin?”
Heat crept up behind Erin’s ears as her heart raced. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Maybe I am!” Pio laughed. “So...flowers?”
“I don’t know, man. I might have to fish for information from Hiraya...”
“Appreciate the help.”
“Hey, A
lvez. Word of warning,” Jericho’s tone turned a little less playful. “I don’t really care what you want to do, but Erin’s like a sister to me, okay? If you ever make her cry, I’m coming after you.”
Touched, Erin almost let out an “awww.” She always believed that her Lakambini peers were her second family, and hearing Jericho’s words reinforced that belief.
“I gotcha.”
“I’ll text you if I get anything about flowers.”
“Thanks, man.”
The phone call ended, and Erin allowed herself to bask under the warmth of Pio’s smile. How he developed a crush on her was a different story altogether, but now, at least, she knew this was the real deal.
“Tulips,” she said, certain she was shooting hearts out of her eyes now. Her lips broke into a smile—bright, hopeful, mirroring the one Pio wore on his. “I like tulips.”
Ten
Erin was an hour late.
An hour and twelve minutes, to be exact, if the vintage wall clock on Balai Esperanza’s wall were to be relied on.
Did she forget about our lunch date? Ramon mused, watching the restaurant’s front door and expecting Erin to come in, armed with apologies and a valid explanation as to why she was late. She was never late for anything.
Rather than dwell on his brewing disappointment, Ramon felt more worried that she wasn’t replying to any of his messages or picking up his calls. And even though he didn’t care much for social media, he went and checked her accounts for clues on her whereabouts.
No dice.
He sighed and stared at the untouched bowl of pork sinigang he ordered along with the grilled chicken isaw and ensaladang mangga with bagoong. It looked like he had to have these wrapped up soon.
One more call, he decided. If she still doesn’t pick up, he’ll call it a day and head back home.
“The telephone number you dialed is now unattended or out of coverage area...”
Ramon stared at his phone in disbelief. Erin couldn’t have turned her phone off. That would be so...unlike her.