Gazelle

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Gazelle Page 6

by Bello, Gloria


  “Yeah, you?”

  “Anthony’s family? Oh, hell yes! His cousins are two of the sexiest motherfuckers I’ve ever seen in my life!”

  “Which one?”

  “Both of them!”

  “…You mean the twins?”

  “Fuck yeah, the twins.”

  “Wait, which one are you into?”

  “BOTH OF THEM!”

  “Both of them. Really? Like, you’d do both of them. Same time?”

  “Hells yeah, that’s what I’ve been saying, girl! Double trouble! Immaget me some nasty carne on both ends of the taco, you hear me?”

  “It’s a kid’s party!”

  “And?”

  “There’s gonnabe a jumpy gym and a clown!”

  “…And? That’s how I roll, girl, shoot, I thought you knew!” She does a quick booty shake and laughs.

  “Can we order a drink?” a customer asks Trina.

  “Sure! Someone will be with you in a moment,” Trina smiles in a completely sweet, condescending voice before turning back to her friend and ignoring the exasperated customer. “Hey, since you’re here, you wannago to movie night at Will’s? We’re watching‘Jackie Brown.’”

  “Oh, shit, hell ya! I love that movie! When, tonight?”

  “Naw, Thursday. We’re all closing, so, around 9? We never see you anymore. You should come. Beer and pizza, it’ll be fun!”

  “Shit…Julian gets back Thursday. I might have to pick him up. But I’ll go. I’ll just leave early if I have to.”

  “Good! We fuckin’ miss your arse, bitch. All famous n’ shit…Jesus, have I told you how lucky you are? Like, seriously, the luckiest human being alive?”

  Alice laughs and shakes her head. “It’s not all that glamorous.”

  “Don’t even try it,I know you’re full of shit, Alice. Anthony told us you had a new car. And he helped you move that fucking flat screen into your place.”

  “Why’s he putting my shit on blast?”

  “Someone has to. You disappeared. Hollywood’s changed you.”

  “Shut your mouth.”

  “It has, it really has. I don’t even recognize you anymore. Next, you’ll be calling me‘babe’ and trying to get me to do some blow off your tits in the break room.”

  “You’re so dumb. When’d you talk to Anthony?”

  “Dan and me hung out with him at the pool hall the other night. Hey, he might be coming, too, is that cool?”

  “Where, movie night?”

  “Trina!” a stalky woman in a smock calls from the rattling juicer.

  Trina shoots her a deathly stare and turns back to Alice. “Yeah…but go, okay? Don’t be like that, seriously. I gottaget back. Call me later.”

  Alice slams on her breaks and puts the car in park in front of the Loz FelizMediterranean mansion, her mind turning with the conversation. In truth, the past few months flooded over her like a tsunami. Most of her work and free time revolved around learning Julian’s habits and routines. She was learning to move in and out of his circumference, meeting his needs as an employee and as a friend. But it meant her ownsocial life was sorely neglected. Until Anthony asked her to make a painting for him to give to his sister, she hadn’t actually worked on anything since starting her new job. And besides the day Anthony spent with her, picking out a new couch and TV, and a matinee they saw in a completely platonic way, she hadn’t hung out with anyone else other than Julian. When Julian wasn’t working with Nathan and Mike, he was moving through his own social waters with her diligently at his side, watching him weave in and out of swank parties and clubs with his friends and dates. She was not a social person when it came to such settings. Alice was much more comfortable in a party of family and friends, where there was no dress code or guest list to be on. But he begged her to come and, though she inevitably ended up tucked away in a corner, sipping her drink and playing with her phone, she went in the hopes that she would learn to move as easily and confidently as he seemed to in that circle. But it was a different kind of people, colder and much more intimidating in their beauty and wealth than she could ever have anticipated. Even Julian had a certainhardness to him then, in his bored, expectant expression as women and men draped themselves over him. Anthony asked her what they were like. The‘other side’, he called it. She didn’t know how to answer him. Julian was one of the most brutally honest, intense people she had ever known. When he wasn’t working, they spent hours debating, watching movies she’d never heard of, discussing articles and books, quizzing one another. But the world he socialized in was a rapidly moving, monster machine that drew people in with its charm and beauty, vacant of any true relation that she found in his company otherwise. It was hard to reconcile the two in her reality. And it terrified her.

  The car in front of her is a black Mercedes S class. She groans inwardly at the idea of Mike. She quickly checks her make-up, sweeps her hair into a tight knot and buttons her long sleeve, black dress shirt over her tank top. She brushes the dog hair from her pin stripped mini skirt before gathering the groceries, the copy of GQ, and the thick, green smoothie from the health store. Her phone vibrates again, for the fifth time, and she shoves it in her bra, racing towards the arched doorway.

  “Fuck, I’m so fucked,” she moans, wrestling with her keys while trying to balance her bags and the drink.

  The white walled hall opens to a rustic, wooden staircase. To the left, down a series of tiled steps is a great, empty living room. There is no furniture or decor of any type, only the pristine hardwood floor and light, tan molding that runs throughout the home. She rushes through to her right, to the kitchen that stretches in a tall, beamed ceiling, ending in a row of skylights, sunlight flooding the maroon walls and opal floors and gleaming against the shining stainless steel appliances. Her hands fly as she tosses the groceries on the counters, along with her attaché and keys. The drink topples, slightly spilling over the magazine despite her swift catch.

  “Fuck me…” she moans, opening and closing drawers in search of a towel.

  “You’re late again,” CeCe sighs, coming up behind her with a paper towel.

  She says nothing, taking the towel and running it over the cover and Julian’s serious scowl.

  “Oh good. You bought a copy."

  "Yeah, I just thought it'd be cool if I showed up with one."

  "They sent him a stack last week but I'm sure he'll appreciate the thought. He’s almost finished in there.”

  “Mike in there, too?”

  CeCenods. “Yep. He left you some Valium to give to Julian later.”

  “Why? He doesn’t do that shit…does he?” Alice frowns.

  “No, not normally. But he’s got that flight tonight, remember? He hates flying. You’re taking him, right? Make sure he gets them.”

  “Right…”she says, not realizing he had anxiety about flying. “I forgot he was leaving tonight. Did he eat yet?”

  “No…you’re late.”

  “Yeah, I know. I got stuck in traffic.”

  “Everybody gets stuck in traffic. That’s not an excuse.”

  Alice raises her penciled brow at CeCe who meets the challenge with folded arms. Her suit is teal and brown,hanging on her perfect, thin body like a second skin. Her hair, unlike Alice’s mass of mess, is cropped perfectly in a bob that curves around her Versace frames set on her critical eyes, her sharp nose and jaw, and that thin, tight-lipped, perpetual smile she wears. Alice drops her gaze to her shoes and sighs, feeling suddenly very ridiculous in her outfit.

  “You're still new. It’s only been a few months, and you’ve never done anything like this before. But it only gets more demanding from here, Alice. He won't tell you what he needs, he won’t tell you what he feels, he won't even know himself and he won't care. Get that to him now before he passes out. He’s been at it for hours,” CeCe says, pulling her phone to her ear and spinning on her heels.

  Alice nods, tucks the magazine under her arm and heads for the work out room with the juice.

 
“Oh, and Alice? I love that skirt,” CeCe smiles genuinely.

  “I don’t understand why you can’t stay there the weekend, buddy. I think you’re maybe pushing yourself too hard. That’s not good, trust me. You’re gonnagive yourself a nasty batch of hemorrhoids.”

  Mike gnaws on a ginger chew, rapidly texting another message to his useless secretary.

  “I’m not,” Julian answers breathlessly, jogging on his treadmill.

  Sweat pours from his temples and biceps, drenching through his gray tank top and black mesh shorts. He has been running for over an hour, his eyes trained on the television before him, scrolling stories in caption beneath the head of a blonde, deeply concerned news anchor. He has long since stopped feeling his muscles, his hunger, his frustration and anger. He has long since stopped feeling anything but the need to run until he can no longer move.

  “You are,” Mike says, glancing up at him. “I don’t know what you’re worried about. I’ve never seen you in such good shape, inside and out. You got three months before the shoot. Nathan says you two are completely on the same page, he loves what you're bringing. You two spend more time together than a fucking couple on their honeymoon. That’s why you aren’t going out anymore. Did he sleep here again last night?”

  “No, he went home around 3. We were watching‘Burden of Dreams.’ Have you seen that?”

  “No, I’d rather watch reality tvwhile pulling out my ingrown toenails with my teeth than watch Herzog on a bad day. That guy scares the shit out of me. And don’t change the subject. Seriously, Julian. It’s time to take a break, you know? I mean, you moved in this place awhileago and there’s nothing fucking in it. You got the rec room done, a bed in the master and TVs everywhere with the fucking sound shut off, all on the fucking news. It’s not healthy.”

  “Been busy,” he says.

  “Yeah, I know. That’s what I’m saying. You’ve been so busy you haven’t been enjoying the fruits of your labor. You haven’t been home once, not even for the weekend.”

  “I’m going tonight.”

  “You’re going to a fundraiser and you’re coming back the next day. It’s not exactly a vacation, is it? And when I say‘home,’ I don’t mean New York. I mean, what about your family? Your mom? Don’t you think you should maybe see them?”

  Julian shoots him a look and returns his furrowed brow to the screen.“You talked to James.”

  “No-no, that’s not the point.” Mike shakes his head unconvincingly.

  “Yeah, you did.”

  “Okay, I did. But he was just concerned is all. You haven’t been returning his calls. He’s been hounding me-”

  “Hounding?”

  “No, not hounding, I didn’t mean hounding. He’s been…fuck, I don’t know. Concerned. Hey, guy, I’m not fucking Dr. Phil. I can’t even handle my own fucking brethren, let alone yours. He’s worried about you, end of story. And he’s not the only one.”

  “Jesus, did you call my mom, too?”

  “I didn’t call anyone, they called me! They need to know you’re alright. And apparently, it’s my responsibility to make sure you’re doing fine this time.”

  “What’s your point, Mike? Why you on my case, really? And don’t give me‘I’m working too hard’ bullshit, really. I know you have an agenda. You don’t give a shit whether my family’s concerned or not.”

  “…CeCetells me you’re not dating anymore.”

  Julian laughs and hits the speed button, slowing himself to a walk.

  “It’s not funny, Julian.”

  “It’s nobody’s business!”

  “Oh, oh, I think it absolutely is. It’s everybody’s business, especially mine.”

  “My sex life is definitely not your business, Mike. I like you, I really do. But not in that way, alright? It’s just not gonnahappen for us,” he laughs.

  “Julian, seriously, you know I love you, right? You’re an amazing talent, not like a lot of these douches that could give a fuck. You're a good guy, a really good guy who's a little too sweet, and there are times I feel like I want to shield that little baby duck neck of yours from the reality of our situation."

  "What the fuck are you talking about? What situation?"

  "The shit we sell here, let’s be honest, is all about the image. You’re on the verge of making an incredible film with a really legit director who will catapult you to the next level, understand? I’m fielding offers left and right for you because of this. If you wanted, you’d be set for the next six years with the stack of scripts I have waiting for you. Good scripts, quality work with the people you’ve been waiting for. But it's not just the job you need to focus on. I wish it weren't true, man, but it is. It’s about exposure, too, continuous exposure, you hear me? You’ve gotta be seen as a romantic lead. We gottasee you with beautiful women, looking like you’ve never been so in love in your life."

  “I don’t have time for that. And, you know, I go out.”

  “No, you went out. You went out and I slept without swallowing a single one of my wife’s Adivants, knowing you were on point to being the sex god they wannasee you as.”

  “Aw, c’mon.”

  “Listen, please, I’m saying that it is imperative that you maintain the image you have worked so hard to create so far. You're the tough sweetheart, America's newest version of 'Bad Boy.' But it’s the lady at your side that makes you an actual man, that sells the idea that the love you show on the screen is real. They’re watching her more than they’re watching you, believe me.”

  Julian stops the machine and leans on the console, staring up into the blonde anchor’s sympathetic eyes as she recounts the day’s events. “That’s not how I want to make my characters credible. I’m not going to validate my performance by parading around some girl. Maybe it’s a good thing, you know? Maybe it’s necessary to be alone if I want to be taken seriously in the long run.”

  “No, you’re right. Alone can be good, especially when you’re talking about metamorphous of your persona from‘teen heartthrob’ to accredited actor, I getthat. And I have no doubt you have that in you to do. It’s the natural progression for all good actors. They start out the face and they prove themselves through their talent. But, Jules, they never stop being the‘face’, never. As long as you’re working, you will be a symbol first and foremost. And no matter what, you need to take care of that, understand? And recognizing your limitations and actual position in your career is a part of taking care of it. That’s what I’m for. You’re still too new to pull off the‘alone.’ ‘Alone’ can hurt you, especially at a pivotal point in your career like this.”

  “What do you want me to do? My private life isn't a marketing ploy, Mike."

  "That's kinda what I'm saying! It is. I've seen relationships make careers-"

  "No, absolutely not. That's not how I want to do this."

  "You like to have the freedom, the creative freedom, I'm talking 'bout being able to do a film like Nathan’s or Warner’s just as easily as doing whatever artsy film project you want, right?"

  "Yes, of course I do."

  "How do you think that happens? Do you know interest in you tripled after Lindsay? She was huge, we’re talking megatronhuge, and you were a teeny little whitehead on the pimple on the ass of nowhere. When you two started up, BLAM! Over night, I’m getting directors watching your early shit and realizing you’re not just some pretty arm candy. You’re talented, first and foremost, I know," he says holding up his hands as Julian begins to protest. "But, really, you know I’m right. Nobody knew your name until that happened. You were stuck in low budget limbo for how long before that? It’s because of that Nathan called in the first place! It’s because of that you’re here, now. You think Time knew who you were, really?"

  Julian rolls his eyes with disgust. "I don't care. I know what you’re saying, and I appreciate it. But I don’t want a relationship right now. I’m not-I don’t have any room to even consider it, Mike.”

  “I know. I know. And after the last time, I don’t w
ant that, either. We can’t afford another set back if something goes wrong again. Not now.”

  Julian rubs his face with a towel, hiding his grimace at the sting of the implication. “Then, what? What do I do?”

  “Well, see! Look, here, progress. I like when we compromise, it feels like we're growing as human beings, it really does. It’s strictly business, understand, what I’m proposing. There’s a young lady, you might have heard of her, Sharleen Dors?”

  “Sharleen Dors. You’re fucking kidding, right?”

  “No, why, you know her?”

  “Yeah, I know her. She was in that piece of shit vampire movie. She’s your client, too, right? I can’t-you know, I can’t fucking believe you!”

  “What?!”

  “You want me to get a‘beard!’ Really?!”

  “No! Come on, Julian! That’s not at all what I’m saying!”

  “Then what, huh? What exactlyare you saying?”

  “I’m saying that you and she spend some time together, in public, get to know one another as friends, you know? You have a lot in common.”

  Julian laughs and shakes his head as he rubs the towel over his arms and legs. “Yeah, I bet.”

  “Julian, no, listento me. This is normal! We do it all the time! She’s a sweet kid. She’s driven, focused and doesn’t have time, just like you. You’d be helping each other, professionally. And she’s coming up. Both of you, together, could be the next…”

  “Don’t say it, please-”

  “‘Brangelina…sans village of kids.”

  Julian says nothing, his hands on his hips, staring out over the small patio extending from the rec room. There are bright red and blue pots everywhere, overflowing with jade plants and cacti. In the middle are a lawn chair and a small table; stacked with books marked with specific articles he needs to read. The light spills in soft vanilla waves over the scene, drawing him to the chair and the books, where he would read until he dozed, and doze until she made him the next horrendous meal he would pretend to enjoy, laughing while she told another silly story or a joke or anything to make his heart come to love the gruel he was being fed. He suddenly feels the weight of his exhaustion and lack of sustenance.

 

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