by Abby Blake
“You don’t think you could be that woman?”
She shrugged. “Maybe one day, but to Viper I’ll always be that emotionally distraught young woman unable to cope on her own.”
Brick frowned but wasn’t quite sure what to say. He knew Viper cared very deeply for Bianca, but he didn’t really know either of them well enough to refute what Bianca was saying. And, truly in the end, it was none of his business.
“Come on. I’ll introduce you to the personnel manager and we’ll find out if there are any jobs going.” He started walking again, this time happy to walk in silence.
Chapter Eight
Viper stared at the balance of the bank account that he’d given Bianca nine months ago and didn’t know whether to be pleased or very worried. She hadn’t touched any of the money since the first week she’d moved out. He knew from Brick that she’d found herself a job, but with her disjointed education and lack of recent work experience it was likely an entry-level, minimum-wage kind of deal. Not having to pay rent would certainly be helping, but it wasn’t the financially secure lifestyle she’d been living with him.
“How long have you been hiding in here?”
The voice was familiar and Viper couldn’t help but smile at the woman who came into his office. He moved quickly to offer her a seat.
“It’s lovely to see you, Bethany.”
“It’s lovely to see you, too, Ben,” she said with a smile, “but that doesn’t answer my question.”
“I’m not hiding,” he said defensively, and then because she knew him well enough to know that was exactly what he’d been doing, he added the word “much.”
“Have you heard from Bianca?”
“Not directly,” he said, trying to swallow the bitterness that came with that admission. After eleven years of making every decision for her, of protecting her from everything including her own self-destructive behavior, she hadn’t even seen fit to call him and say hello. “But I believe she’s doing well.”
“And what about you? How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.” Bethany gave him a look that said very clearly that she didn’t believe that. Tired of feeling off-balance, Viper gave this sub one of his most intimidating looks. Bethany lowered her gaze but didn’t quite hide her smile. “How’s Adam doing?” Viper asked in a not so subtle attempt to change the subject.
“Cranky, annoyed at his confinement, lost…just like you.”
“Bethany,” Viper said in a warning tone. She gave him an unrepentant smile, but then frowned and turned very serious.
“Ben, I’ve been a sub long enough to know how vulnerable it leaves my Dom. It takes courage to give so much of yourself to a relationship.” She looked up, making deliberate eye contact. “I know you love Bianca. Why haven’t you done anything to bring her home?”
“Because she no longer needs me,” he said on an annoyed exhale of breath.
“Of course she does. She loves you.”
“Love never had anything to do with our relationship. I was her Dom. Nothing more.”
“Horseshit,” Bethany said softly.
Viper stayed silent, unwilling to show the vulnerability Bethany had just mentioned. He missed Bianca with every fiber of his being, but at the same time he was actually proud of her. It had taken enormous courage for her to do what she’d done, and it left a part of him worried that he’d misread her needs in the past few years they’d been together.
In the past nine months he’d had plenty of time to reassess some of the things she’d said and done, but this time in a different light, with a different understanding. When she’d offered to have his baby, he’d believed it had been out of fear of not being enough for him, but now he found himself wondering if it had been something she herself had truly wanted. Maybe she hadn’t been ready at the time—she’d said as much herself before leaving—but she wouldn’t have had to learn to be a parent alone. He’d always intended to be a good father to his children if he’d ever been lucky enough to have some. He and Bianca could have found a way to make it work. The arrival of his niece and nephew had only served to highlight how much was missing from his life and how much he’d lost the day Bianca had walked away.
“I heard you’re looking for a buyer for Viper’s Dungeon.”
Viper shook his head and laughed humorlessly. “So much for being discreet. How did you find out?”
“A little birdie told me,” she said with a mischievous wink before turning serious once more. “But she couldn’t tell me why.”
“I thought that would be obvious. Half of everything belongs to Bianca. It’s past time for us to divide up the assets.”
“Bianca asked you to do this?” The shock in Bethany’s tone suggested she would never expect Bianca to ask him to give up his club. She was right of course.
“No, but she was my partner for eleven years. That should count for something.”
“I thought she was just your sub,” Bethany said with an innocent look that was so obviously faked. He shook his head, ignoring the taunt. He knew a setup when he saw one.
“Bethany, I really don’t want to discuss this.”
“But you built Viper’s Dungeon to provide a safe place for subs to find what they needed.”
“It will still be that way,” he assured her. He had no intentions of selling to someone who didn’t understand the lifestyle. “But it’s time for me to move on.”
“You’re leaving?” she asked, sounding really shocked. “But your brother and his wife and the twins…” Viper felt like an asshole for upsetting the woman. With her husband still recovering from heart surgery, Bethany had needed to take on a lot more responsibility than Adam usually liked her to have to deal with. She wasn’t incapable by any means, but Viper could understand Adam’s frustration at not being able to protect his sub the way he usually did.
Viper got up from his chair and came around the desk to stand in front of Bethany.
“I’m not going far, little sub,” he said quietly. “I just can’t be”—he glanced around the office that held too many memories of a woman he missed far too much—“here any longer.”
“Ben, I’m so sorry,” she said with a sad smile. “I really thought Bianca was the woman for you.”
Me too. He squashed the need to say that thought out loud. “Come on, Bethany,” he said, offering her a hand up, “I’ll give you a lift home.”
* * * *
“Ready, B?” Brick asked as Bianca opened the door.
“Almost,” she said, turning away as she searched for her other shoe. Apparently as Viper’s sub she’d spent a lot of time barefoot, so shoes were something she rarely gave thought to until she was about to step out the door. Despite her neat and tidy housekeeping habits, her shoes seemed to be the one thing she couldn’t keep track of. Brick couldn’t help but wonder if it was some kind of Freudian response to the major changes in her life.
“How was work today?” It had become a habit to ask, not only because he was interested in how her day went, but also because she always dropped by his mother’s room to see how she was. A couple of times she’d even called to tell him his mother was lucid and that he should hightail his butt in for a visit. He’d been truly grateful for the chance to spend a few more precious hours with his mother as she actually was and not the stranger she’d become.
“Hectic,” she said with a broad smile as she came back into the living area with her other shoe held up in triumph. “There are never enough hours in the day in that place, but I really love being there.”
It was probably a strange reaction, but he felt very proud of her for her enthusiasm. It took a special person to want to care and clean up after elderly people in a nursing home, but Bianca always did it with a smile.
She quickly dragged her other sports shoe on, grabbed her bag and keys, and together they headed to the door.
“Who’s leading the class tonight?” Bianca asked, referring to the self-defense course she’d been attending at the youth center eac
h week.
“Derek, I think,” he said as he watched her lock the door behind them. “I noticed Cam limping a few days ago. If I know Maya, she’s already given him an earful about overdoing things.”
Bianca smiled and nodded her agreement. The five of them had been spending a fair bit of time together lately, mostly at the youth center helping out, but with Maya and Bianca being best friends and Derek and Brick being close, it seemed quite natural. Brick tried not to think too hard when it came to his and Bianca’s growing friendship. They were friends—only friends. It didn’t matter if his nightly dreams might suggest he felt otherwise.
But spending time with their friends had actually been a very enlightening glimpse into the trio’s relationship. Maya truly was Cam and Derek’s submissive, but she was also an equal partner. She spoke to her husbands like any other wife he knew, and she wasn’t shy in bossing them around when the situation warranted it.
It almost seemed like the opposite of the relationship Bianca and Viper had shared. It didn’t make sense to Brick that they would be considered the same type of lifestyle.
Bianca winced as she turned away from the locked door.
“Are you okay?” he asked, watching her closely, hoping that she wouldn’t lie to him. After all his self lectures on thinking of her as just a friend it was obvious in that moment that he wanted to mean more to her than that, much more.
“Yes, sorry,” she said as if apologizing for being a bother. “I didn’t quite duck Mrs. Sanderson’s cane this afternoon.”
“She hits you?” he asked with a dawning sense of horror. His mother had been difficult to deal with when she’d not known where she was—even lashing out physically—but he’d never really given any thought to what might happen with a patient with more aggressive tendencies.
“No, she doesn’t hit me,” Bianca said, confusing his thought process even more. “She hits the thieves who sneak into her bedroom and steal her stuff. Today, apparently, that was me.”
“Show me,” he said, starting to freak out that she’d been working under such dangerous conditions for so long. Why had she never told him?
“I’m okay,” Bianca said, but she lifted her shirt and showed him the deepening bruise low on her back, just below her hip. “I was lucky. She caught me in a fairly fleshy area so the damage isn’t as bad as it looks.”
“Why do they let her keep the cane?” he asked in annoyance, his mind already turning to the complaint he intended to make to Bianca’s supervisor.
“They leave the cane with her because she needs it to walk,” Bianca said quietly, her eyes searching his as he tried to pull his fear for her back under control. “Most of the time she’s a dear, sweet lady who wouldn’t hurt a fly. It’s only occasionally that she wakes up swinging. I know enough about her to stay safe. Today I just miscalculated her reach.”
“Hell, Bianca, why have you never said anything?”
“Because sometimes you act as protectively as Viper did.” She smiled to soften the blow, but it was obvious that she’d given this topic some thought. “I’m glad I have a friend like you, Brick, but if my biggest problem is dodging an old lady’s cane, I think I’m doing okay.”
“I suppose,” he said, still trying to temper his response. “I’m sorry I overreacted.”
“You didn’t,” she said with a sweet smile. “Not really. I’m just a little oversensitive when it comes to leaning on others for support. I did it for far too many years. If I want to have a healthy relationship in my future, I have to learn how to balance my own needs with those of the people around me.”
“Okay,” Brick said with a nod, glad to hear that she would accept help if she truly needed it.
She winced again, but this time she laughed softly. “I must say though that it gives me a greater appreciation for Viper’s aim. I never felt this bad after a caning scene.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever understand the appeal,” he said honestly. BDSM play still seemed like a strange choice to him. “How can you ‘enjoy’ getting caned?”
“I’m not sure I can really explain it.” She frowned for a moment as she tried to find the words. “A skilled Dom creates just enough pain at the right time to put a sub into a sort of trancelike state. Some people call it hyperspace because a sub’s focus narrows to only her Dom and she becomes hyperaware of everything he does. Others call it subspace, which I suppose is just a play on words, but neither word truly fits.”
“So you don’t feel the pain?”
“I do, but I sort of go with it. It mixes with pleasure and makes things far more intense, takes the emotions to a whole new level.”
“Do you miss it?” he asked as they stepped into the elevator.
She gave him a rueful smile. “More than I expected.”
Brick watched her more closely than usual during the self-defense class, but it seemed once her muscles warmed up that she didn’t feel the bruise at all. He was a little bit surprised when Derek raised an eyebrow in silent question.
Annoyed at his partner’s assumptions, he quickly crossed the room to explain.
The smirk on Derek’s face was sure as hell annoying.
“It’s not what you think,” he said without even bothering to explain. He knew the man well enough to know what he was thinking. “She got hurt at work today.”
“She what?” Derek asked, sounding even more shocked than Brick had felt when Bianca had told him.
“It’s nothing,” he said, regretting his hasty words. “She’s fine.”
“So why are you hovering over her?”
“I’m not,” Brick lied. Apparently the knowing-him-well part of their friendship went both ways because Derek raised an eyebrow at him once more. “We’re just friends.”
“But you want more.”
Smug asshole. It wasn’t even a question. “She only left Viper a few months ago.”
“Closer to a year than a few months,” Derek pointed out correctly. Just when he thought Derek would continue to tease him, the man turned rather serious. “Viper is moving on. Maybe it’s time Bianca did, too.”
“Viper has a new sub?” It was true that their conversations had grown less frequent now that Bianca seemed to be coping well alone, but Brick had been certain Viper loved Bianca. In his heart Brick had always believed they would get back together.
“Not yet,” Derek said, glancing over to where Maya and Bianca were having a lively chat with some of the neighborhood kids. It wasn’t until that moment that Brick truly realized how much happier Bianca was now than when they’d first met at Maya’s collaring ceremony. “But he’s selling the club. He doesn’t want to run Viper’s Dungeon any longer.”
“Does Bianca know?”
“I doubt it,” Derek said as Cam moved to join them. “It’s supposed to be very hush-hush, but in a lifestyle such as ours, secrets don’t last very long.”
“Should I tell her?”
“That’s probably best,” Cam said, obviously picking up the gist of the conversation in only a few words. “We’re assuming she hasn’t spoken to Viper since she left.”
It wasn’t really a question, but Brick nodded in response anyway. “She said long ago that she was holding him back from the life he should have lived. Maybe this is Viper moving on to the life he wants.”
“Maybe,” Derek said quietly. “Or maybe it’s Viper giving up.”
Chapter Nine
Viper stared at the documents that would finalize the sale of Viper’s Dungeon and for the first time since meeting Bianca wanted to ask her if he was doing the right thing. For eleven years he’d arrogantly assumed he knew what he was doing, believed that he saw what she needed, but the past year had proven him wrong.
She was not only surviving but thriving alone, and she was doing it without his help or guidance. She’d proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she didn’t need him. Had she ever?
The question bounced around his mind day and night. Had he been wrong to protect her the way he had? Would s
he have recovered from her parents’ and brother’s deaths sooner if he hadn’t been there to tell her what to do?
“Visitor for you,” Malcolm said from the doorway of his office. For a brief moment Viper hoped it was Bianca, but that hope was quickly dashed with his security chief’s next words. “Should I show him in?”
“Him who?” Viper asked, unable to hold back his annoyance.
“Sorry, Viper,” Malcolm said. “I just assumed you knew he was coming. It’s Brick Darnell. B…ah…Derek’s friend.”
Viper heard the name even if Malcolm had managed not to say it. Bianca’s friend. The irrational anger that surged through him at that tiny detail had him grinding his teeth in an attempt not to show it. He’d known when he’d contacted Brick all those months ago that he and Bianca would likely become friends. What he hadn’t counted on was that Bianca would prefer to spend time with a man who wasn’t a Dom.
It was just one more thing he’d gotten wrong in a very long list of utter failures.
“Viper?” Malcolm asked, still obviously waiting for Viper’s response.
“Yes, send him in.”
Malcolm hovered in the doorway for a few moments, most likely to interfere in something that was none of his business, but then must have changed his mind. He nodded instead and headed back toward the reception area.
Annoyed at the whole damn situation Viper picked up the pen and signed his name violently on the bottom line of the sale contract. There. It was done. No more to-ing and fro-ing, no more second-guessing, no more off-balance behavior. Bianca was behind him. She was part of his history, and no longer someone he wanted in his life.