by Fiona Keane
“You deserve so much more than me, Aideen,” he murmured, his thumb stroking my jaw, “but I can’t let you go. I can’t share you. I can’t breathe without you. I love you. You’re it for me. You’re it.” Would he seek revenge against his family for me? Would he even believe me?
I watched with trepidation, my heart thumping on its own, fueled with adrenaline, as Julian glanced around, pausing to listen to the muffled conversation vibrating from the living room. I stood in awe of Julian, frozen until he commanded.
“Your place it is.” His wink sent my world into a tizzy, a hazy aura blurring around me with excited pleasure. We swiftly slid through the hallway, nervous laughter slowly tickling from my throat. This is it.
“Shut it.” He snickered, the sound low and threatening as he tugged on my hand.
“I…” I couldn’t compose myself between breaths. “I can’t…I’m too…” Nervous? Terrified your grandpa will see me and shoot me? Turned on by the way you look with that damn hoodie? Lord. Save me now.
Julian gave one quick, intense tug on my arm, and I crashed into his chest. He smells amazing. His right hand was quick to hold my face against his, covering my mouth with his warm, inviting fingers. I want to bite them. All of them. It only worsened my uncontrollable urge to giggle, but it also appeared impossible for Julian Molloy, stoic and rigid, as he always seemed, to compose himself. Every few breaths, heaving as he carried me against him, Julian’s chest rumbled with a stifled laugh. His free hand turned the doorknob to the front door, quietly revealing our freedom. From beneath his hold, I opened my mouth and licked his fingers.
“Come on,” he pressed with a muffled snicker once we were clear of the door, still holding my head against him. I didn’t know if Julian’s gun was with us, if he had any way to remind the outside world he was powerful and intimidating, but in that moment where we tumbled free from the prison of his home, he wasn’t a Molloy. He was a guy, escaping with his girl so she could tell him in private that she loved him…and that his grandfather tried to kill her. Details. Once his foot lifted to press the button for the elevator, he kissed the top of my head.
“Will you be quiet if I remove my hand?”
“Mmhm,” I mumbled behind his palm, my tongue sliding out once more to tease the length of his fingers. The elevator arrived, its doors quietly opening, inviting Julian and me into our liberation.
“You need to stop doing that,” he warned, his voice low, “or I’m going to stop this elevator between floors and we won’t make it to your apartment.” Yes, please.
Julian’s head shook as his hand pulled along his mouth, a feigned attempt at stifling his amusement. We entered the elevator, our hearts pounding against our chests with a fervor that swirled a mutual hum around the small space. The doors closed once Julian pressed the button for the lobby. We’re leaving, and Liam, Satan, and the father of Julian’s would-be-if-I-weren’t-so-damn-hot-and-the-world’s-most-beautiful-man-didn’t-love-me fiancée have no idea. It was quiet as the car jerked to a start, both of us waiting in a cloud of suspended angst until we were clear.
“I’m not a good man, Aideen.” Julian broke the silence with his whisper, his voice enough to destroy me, let alone his words. “But I’m good for you, and I’ll be good for you, to you…” Holy everything. The elevator rattled us within its confines with enough force that Julian tumbled against me. He towered over me, his hands adhering to my hips while attempting to balance against the rigid movement of our escape. Our eyes met, focused on each other’s heated stare while our breaths sped, rapid and nervous.
“Kiss me, Julian.” Why not? His eyes focused on my lips, his tongue probing his bottom lip to moisten it before his thumb tugged my chin. The burning of my lips beneath his stare was enough to subdue me.
My name left his throat in a rasp of need, his deepened voice penetrating the air before his lips slammed against mine as if they held the secrets of the world. Our mouths battled one another, each searching for the prize of the other’s tongue, exploring and owning each. Julian’s hands were around my face, pressing into my hair, and dangerously probing my body while they slid to my hips. His palms cupped around my bottom, swiftly gliding along the backs of my thighs as he lifted my legs in the air, wrapping them around his waist. I am going to die. This time, pleasantly. He is surely going to kill me. My heart pounded, violently threatening Julian’s, competing against his own lust for me. I combed through his hair and let my fingers wander along his back as he held me in the air, pressed against the elevator wall. His breath was quickly sucked in, responding to the annoying ding of the elevator arriving at the lobby.
I whimpered, my body readier for him than words could express. He didn’t stop. For once, possibly the first time, his reputation was insignificant to him as Julian continued to grip my legs. His touch was forceful, adhering my waist to his, while he devoured my mouth, absorbing each breath.
Julian whispered into my ear, the waves of his voice consuming my body with goose bumps. “You’re a treasure worth savoring, worth waiting for. I promise.” His forehead rested against mine before he slowly released the hold on my thighs, separating our bodies.
“I…” Breathe, confidence, breathe. How can I when he is looking at me like that?! My legs, already limp from his grasp, weakened beneath his stare, powerless before the Molloy family heir, the future king. I’m his damn queen. This man is mine. It’s always been this way. I know it. I am his. Ours. Us. I have to tell him.
Julian shushed me, his finger covering my quivering lips. “Don’t worry. I know.” Slowly, he took my hands and pulled us from the elevator. I wanted to skip alongside him, but the nagging splinter of reality stifled my excitement. His pace was stealthy while guiding us through the familiar lobby, ignoring anyone who gaped at us.
“David’s outside,” Julian uttered. “He’ll take us to your place. Although…” He paused while biting his lip, smiling around his radiant teeth. “I’d much prefer we were going to some place unmarred by a death. There is so much of this I want to protect you from.”
“Shut up, Julian,” I groaned, yanking him along with me as I stormed through the lobby doors to the chilly February evening. “You are who you are, and I accept that.”
He caught up with me, lifting me into his arms and carrying me the rest of the way to the idling Mercedes waiting for us along the curb. David promptly climbed from the car, running to open the door as Julian and I approached, with me safely held against his chest. I love him. I remember. Julian lifted me over the curb and gently dropped me into the backseat before reaching for the seatbelt.
“I can manage,” I informed him, receiving his rolling eyes in response as he secured me into the leather cushions.
“So can I, Aideen.” Kill me. Please. Just take me right here, right now, please, Julian. My heart raced, desperate to be alone with him, to be his.
His eyebrows lifted playfully, reminding me of the guy who just ran in the hallway with me, abandoning his crown to be with me—the nobody, the nothing. He hurried around to the other side of the car, briefly speaking with David, and opened the opposite door, climbing in at my side. Julian’s palm spread over my thigh before his face nuzzled into my hair, the warmth and possession all I wanted in that moment as we drove away.
Chapter Three
The sidewalk was barren, dampened by melted snow, and bordered with sparkling crystals of salt that reflected street lights. A crunching sound beneath our feet was the only noise I heard above my pulse sending a rush of blood through my ears as we approached my apartment.
Julian appreciated our mutual hesitance, for his hands never left mine while he moved us toward the main door and ushered us into the lobby. I fell against him while we entered the building, letting his cologne subdue me. I considered whether everything falling into place set me off, making everything but Julian seem to exist in another dimension, as though life became the farce and Julian was my anchor into reality. But still, something felt…off. Even the stairs leading up t
o my small rental seemed to creak less, the wood too damp to move beneath our weight. It didn’t feel normal. But then again, with my senses driven beyond their capacity, everything was heightened; my eyes were bright, seeing cobwebs and dust bunnies I often ignored; my ears desperately wide, waiting to hear any sound coming from the man I followed up the stairs.
“Darling.” Julian’s voice was a whisper, yet it filled my ears with a pleasant scream for mercy, as his arms wove around me once we reached the landing outside of my apartment. I waited, inhaling what I could of the guy who ran with me and the man who would protect me, savoring the memory and moment of our beginning. I nuzzled against his chest, snuggled beneath his chin while Julian’s right hand stroked my hair. It felt like time didn’t matter, that there weren’t consequences…
“We should go inside.” His left arm tightened around my waist before releasing me. “Do you have your key?”
Slowly nodding while I reached into my clutch for the key, I refused to depart from his warmth. I am taking that sweatshirt off immediately. It was difficult to see while my eyes were squashed against the gentle raise of his chest, but I eventually unlocked the door.
The odor of cleaning agents still hung its putrid potency in the air with a heavy reminder of our puzzle pieces. I should have suggested a hotel. Somewhere neutral. Somewhere he hadn’t killed. He was right. My place, his place. It was all tainted. Yet, somehow, I was at ease with Julian inside the walls of my apartment.
“Yo, Aideen,” Jack called from the hall, catching our attention. I hadn’t heard his door open, or even his footsteps, let alone seen the halo of marijuana smoke that accompanied him everywhere. Still in Julian’s arms, I turned to politely greet my neighbor.
“Hi, Jack. How are you?”
“Wicked. You?” He laughed, his eyes wide with sobriety. That’s really unusual. Julian’s arm loosened briefly while allowing me to spin around and greet Jack, but once my body was facing the door, Julian’s right arm snaked around my chest and secured me against him.
“We’re great. We’re, um…” Hopefully leaving? Hopefully going to spend the next three months in bed together? Hopefully going to be naked sometime soon? My cheeks burned, tingling with heat, and Julian knew it. That damn wizard read my movements before my body could.
“We’re tucking in for the night,” Julian stated, tightening his hold around my chest, my shoulders pressed further into his body. “Nice seeing you again, Jack.” I felt his breath at my left ear, the tickle spreading along my throat. Jack nodded, a smile twitching along his lips. He was too quiet.
“See you soon.” I smiled, breaking the peculiar silence that froze between us.
“You know it.” Jack waved, slowly backing into his apartment. Julian’s left leg flew up, his foot slamming the door closed while still holding me against him.
“Jack is certainly demanding a lot of your attention.”
I scoffed, unsure of Julian’s meaning. “You’re not jealous, are you?”
“Jealous?” Julian’s tone was pleasantly defensive, almost in disbelief I would question him. I spun in his grasp, looking up into his darkened eyes, swallowing the threat they promised.
“Yes. Liam was another story, because he was actually crazy enough to come on to me. But Jack? Please. Oh, by the way, did you remember our story? Did you remember everything that happened in the hospital? Do you—” I caught myself, aware of the tension brewing in Julian’s eyes and the strain of his chiseled jaw. I considered his expression, his parted mouth, catching the slow puffs of breath he tried to control, and battled against his gaze. I lifted my hands to his cheeks, pulling his face closer to mine.
“Do you think what you have done for me is meaningless? Do you honestly, for one second, doubt that I believe you, Julian?”
“No.”
“Don’t be that guy. Be,” my hands pressed against his chest, “this guy.”
“I am.”
I sighed, snuggling my head against his chest, waiting for his delicate temper to cool. I glanced around the room, staring at my front door, no longer worried, no longer afraid.
“Liam came on to you? I’m going to tear off his fucking dick,” Julian muttered above my head before kissing my hair. “Would you like me to make you tea or something, babby?” That’s adorable.
“Sure.” I pulled away and wandered toward my bed in full view of the kitchen. I traced my fingers along the stitches of thread in the luxurious comforter I knew Julian paid for, memories invading my mind while I watched him quietly enter the small kitchen.
“You know,” he called to me over the shuffling of mugs inside a cabinet, “you’re asking for trouble with this window open.”
“I’m aware.” I smiled to myself, confidence bubbling in my heart. “Trust me. But Julian, nobody is going to scale a building to get me.” He didn’t respond, and I could only hear the shuffling of his feet and beeping of the microwave. Moments later, he appeared, leaning against the doorway with a mug in one hand while the other shook a bag of tea.
“Darling.” His eyes pierced mine. “It’s not the people climbing up a wall that worry me. It’s the ones closer than you realize. Do you want it warm or hot?”
“Hot,” I blurted, receiving a delicious smirk in response before he spun around and finished making a cup of tea. Yes. I want it hot. Considering Julian had a gourmet kitchen and watched me make coffee several times, I would have expected he knew how to operate a tea kettle instead of heating water in the microwave. Details, shmetails. I heard Julian curse and groan, the rumble of upset filling my apartment.
“Are you okay?” I flew from the mattress, running into the kitchen to observe Julian leaning over the stove, his right palm pressing into a cupboard while his left scrolled along his cellphone screen. His head hung low, reading something while he sighed with disdain.
“Fucking Liam.”
“What?” I tried to see his screen, but he hastily stuffed it into the pocket of his pants, hiding it from my view. Julian turned, holding my face as he lifted it toward him.
“I am going to kill him.”
“What happened?” I laughed uncomfortably, unsure if he was serious or if it was another threat of their sibling rivalry. “Is he okay?”
“No.” His lips pressed against my forehead before our noses met in a delicate nuzzle. “You are the only thing in my life that I value. I want you to know that.” He paused to look at me. “He told me when Regan got there, they got into an argument about…”
“Just say it.” I pulled from him, crossing my arms while I waited. Julian’s hands adhered to his neck, his head dropping back while he searched for his words on my ceiling.
“Those fucking pieces of shit,” he groaned, his face falling back into view. “That godforsaken family! They got into an argument about Regan’s daughter and the bullshit nonsense demands my grandfather has about me marrying Noelle.” Oh. Right. Cue heartbreak. No heartbreak. This man is mine. He always has been and will be eternally. There is no question. Stay ahead of this, babbsicle. It is just bullshit. You know the truth. I wonder what flavor popsicle Julian would be. Okay, composure required.
“And what happened?”
His words followed an enormous exhale of air, steaming in a cloud around us. “Regan stabbed Liam in the stomach. Shit! Damn it.” Oh my God. Liam. Oh, what the hell?
“You need to go, Julian.”
His eyes tore into me, dissolving any color from them. “No.”
“It’s part of you. It’s your family,” I affirmed, my words weak while my heart and mind fought for him to stay. “I have always understood that. Even when you scared the shit out of me and made me think you wanted me dead all the time. I know it.”
He closed his eyes as his forehead met mine, his nostrils flaring to absorb every particle of me. “You’re my family…not them.”
I held his cheeks, our noses touching before I softly pushed him back to watch the way he studied me. I love him. This throbbing in my chest, the dreams, Juli
an.
“Just go,” I told him, “as long as you promise to come back. Can you promise me that?”
His eyes searched mine, desperate hopelessness filling the depth of blue across from me. Julian’s fingertips found my throat, my body warming with their light touch, and his palms held my collarbone. I swallowed the nerves, waiting while his thumbs caressed my jaw and he bought time.
“No. I can’t.” Oh.
“Then,” my knees trembled, “promise me you’ll try.” The microwave beeped behind him, breaking his heated gaze.
His lips gently met mine while he whispered, “We’ve started a war.”
“I know.” Holy shit. Did I ever! I licked my lips, savoring what remained of Julian as he pulled away. I followed his quick footsteps into the main part of my apartment, holding myself together with shivering arms as Julian reached for the door. Julian’s hand froze on the turned knob while he looked at me.
“I’ll be okay,” I assured him, knowing he was about to warn me to lock the doors and hide in the closet. He’s so precious. The smile flirting with his lips challenged my soul, beckoning me to him, and I gladly flocked like a moth to that Irish-American flame.
“Please don’t go anywhere, babby,” he growled, his lips crashing into mine as his hands left the doorknob and lifted to my hair, knotting around the loose strands that hung with sleep. “What did you need to tell me?”
Tell him. At least tell him one thing. Do it. My heart hammered out of control as Julian watched me expectantly. Our eyes battled, each set trying to infiltrate the other’s mind. I think my knickers just exploded. He’s looking at me, and my knickers explode. I need help. No, I don’t. I need Julian. I love him. I do. Say it.
“I love you, Fuckoy,” I announced, blushing profusely and lifting on my tiptoes to kiss him. That wasn’t the burst of romance I hoped for, but I couldn’t focus. Julian absorbed my mind and all I could do between my blushing and his burning skin was tell him that. Fuckoy.