It’s that moment in time when you’re half-awake and half-asleep that you let yourself truly relax. You almost feel like you’re floating and nothing can touch you. That’s how I feel now. Everything is right in my world and I’m safe. Happy. Opening my eyes, I smile when I see the sun pouring through the slit in the curtains.
Another day.
When I glance over to look at the clock, I’m unprepared for the brown eyes staring back at me. Memories rush forward—having coffee with Luca, then wine. I rub my forehead and close my eyes. I should never drink three glasses of wine with someone in my apartment. My heart accelerates. This is the first time I’ve had a man in my bed.
Ever . . .
Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, I calm my nerves and ask, “What are you doing here?”
Luca smiles, and he looks so sexy with his sleepy face and messed-up hair. I like him like this, not so put together. “I couldn’t leave.”
“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?”
He shrugs one shoulder as I roll to face him. “Does it matter?”
Lying in bed on my side, facing him, I decide I like him in my bed. “I guess not.” The clock past his shoulder reads 5:00 p.m., and I bolt up. “Shit, I’m late!”
He grabs my arm and pulls me back down. “You’re not late. You have the night off.”
“I don’t . . . I . . .”
“It’s Friday. We have a date, remember? Tommy gave you the night off.”
“You work your magic again?” I suspect, but for once I don’t care. I ease back down in bed, enjoying the rest.
“I did. We have a date tonight.” He smiles, using all his facial features. “I thought I’d take you out for a nice dinner.”
I don’t like to go out, always preferring the safety of my apartment, doors, and locks. “Do we have to?”
“I guess not. What do you have in mind?”
“I feel safe when I stay home. I normally like eating Chinese takeout and watching a good movie, or House.”
“You are an enigma, Ariel Hancock.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t care about what I can give you, where I can take you, and you don’t want to be seen with me.”
I chuckle. It sounds crazy, but I don’t care about money. “Happiness can’t be bought, and things are just things.”
He smiles, kisses my forehead, and says, “I’ve got to go pee. Be right back.”
I watch as he slides out of bed and heads for the bathroom. He’s sporting black briefs that hug his tight butt. He obviously works out, as evident from his muscled legs and large biceps. There’s a tattoo across his upper back, but he turns the corner before I can read it.
When he ambles back to the bed, I ask, “What does your tattoo say?” He sits, showing me his back. I trace my fingers over the black scripted words. No Regrets. “I like it. What does it mean?”
“It means that you make the best decision you can at the time, and never look back.”
My breath hitches as his gaze locks with mine. The air electrifies and Luca’s eyes drift to my mouth. A small gasp escapes from my parted lips. He slowly closes the distance until our lips touch, moving tenderly at first before deepening to an all-consuming kiss. Lost, sinking in a sea of pleasure as his lips leave mine and skim my jaw, heading down my neck. When his finger flicks my nipple through my shirt, I gasp and lean away from his touch.
“It’s too soon. I can’t.” I clutch the blanket to my chest and stare down at my lap. I feel a little ashamed that I’m so new to all this, and I don’t want him to know how new.
He lifts my chin with one finger, kisses my lips, and says with a smile, “It’s okay. I’m hungry, let’s order Chinese.”
Luca
I see it now and it makes her even more appealing to me. She’s never been with a man. How could she? Locked up in her stepfather’s house, moving here, afraid of being discovered. She said it herself—she doesn’t go out, her home is her sanctuary.
My anger resurfaces and I want to kill the stepfather all over again. How could someone treat a child that way? I try to brush the unwanted feelings to the side and enjoy my date with Ariel.
Picking up my cell, I dial a great Chinese restaurant I frequent and place an order. Then I shoot a text to Tony, telling him to pick it up for us, along with a bottle of red wine, and to bring me a fresh change of clothes.
“Are you sure you’re not upset?”
I see the worry in her innocent eyes. Reassurance is what she needs, so I start with honesty. “Ariel, I’ve slept with hundreds of women.” She tries to pull away, but I don’t let her. “It was all meaningless sex.” Lightly, I kiss her lips. “You’re different and I want this to work. So, if we need to take it slow, we will. Actually, I think I’d prefer it.”
Her eyes linger on mine, searching. “Okay.” She pauses briefly before abruptly saying, “I need a shower.” I don’t know if my admission reassures or frightens her. I watch her backside as she heads for the bathroom, and when she’s out of sight, I fall back on the bed, hoping I didn’t screw everything up.
It’s a little alarming that I’m feeling so protective about someone I’ve just met. I try not to think about it as I lie there, stretched across her bed.
A few minutes later, the doorbell rings while she’s showering. I slip on my pants, leaving them unsnapped, and answer the door. Tony stands in the entrance with his hands and arms full.
I take the food and wine, setting it on the coffee table. Then I grab the clothes draped over his arm and grimace.
Another suit.
Any other time I would prefer a suit, but somehow it doesn’t seem comfortable to laze around in, in her apartment.
“Thanks,” I say. “Take the night off and I’ll call you tomorrow.” He nods, and after he turns, I close the door.
Ariel strolls out with a towel wrapped around her body and another one wrapped around her head, covering her hair. A more enticing sight I’ve never seen. She catches me watching and smiles. My dick strains against my pants, needing relief. “Mind if I take a shower?” I ask, leaving out the part that I need a very cold shower.
“Nope, have at it.” She steps to the side and dips her hand toward the door.
I shoot her a grin, our bodies brushing as I pass by her. “Thanks, I’ll be out in a sec. Food’s on the coffee table. Help yourself.”
“Great! I’m starving.”
Standing under the cool spray, trying to think of something other than Ariel, isn’t working. Images of her standing in the towel, knowing she’s naked underneath, swirl through my mind. Kissing her, touching her nipples . . . I firmly grasp my dick, working the shaft up and down in a circular motion and with varying degrees of pressure, needing relief. Just knowing that no man has touched her, fucked her, makes my dick twitch as I increase my rhythm, wanting to be the first. I think of what it will feel like to push deep inside, open her up for me . . . I throw my head back. “Aww . . .” I moan in relief.
With a towel secured around my hips, I head for the bedroom to put on clean underwear and trousers.
When I walk back into the living room, I find her dressed in a white V-neck T-shirt and a pair of gray jogging shorts, a carton of Chinese food in her hand.
“What are we watching?” I ask as I plop down next to her and grab a container and chopsticks.
“House. Ever watched it before?” she asks and then shoves a bite of food into her mouth.
“No, what’s it about?” I see it’s a medical show. Everyone wears white overcoats and there’s one pompous asshole. I like him.
“It’s about a team of doctors who try to diagnose rare diseases.”
“You like that kind of stuff?”
“Yeah.” She uses her chopstick to point at the TV. “One of these days, I’ll work in a hospital. I’d love to be a trauma nurse, maybe even one that flies on a helicopter.”
With a mischievous grin, I say, “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. Just say the word.”
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Her head swivels my direction, her eyes bugging out of her head. “You do not have a helicopter.” She punches out every word.
Laughing, I say, “No, but I have a jet.”
“Why would you offer to take me anywhere?”
“Because I like you.”
She turns back toward the TV and mumbles, “This is our first date.”
I shrug. It doesn’t make sense to me either. This pull I feel toward her. But my gut feeling tells me that Ariel wouldn’t give me the time of day if she didn’t like me. Money does not factor into her decisions.
“It’s a great first date.” My face stretches wide, and she returns a smile of her own.
“It’s okay,” she says with a shrug, and I playfully knock into her shoulder with mine.
“What else do you like to watch?”
“I watch all kinds of things. Let’s see, Gray’s Anatomy.” She snorts. “When I was little, I watched Doogie Howser MD and thought that was the most amazing show ever.”
“Doogie Howser . . .” I shake my head and snarl my nose. Who would name someone Doogie? “Never heard of it.”
She glances at me. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t have. You were probably off taking etiquette lessons, learning which fork you use to eat a salad.”
I shake my head, take a bite of food, and grin at her with my mouth closed.
We spend the night watching reruns of House, and a few romantic comedies. Ariel snuggles up next to me on the couch until she falls asleep around five in the morning.
I scoop her up and once again carry her to bed. Taking off my trousers, I slide in next to her and pull her close. She snuggles up to my side, resting her head on my chest. It feels so comfortable, so natural. Something I could get used to.
~~~~
The sunlight streams through the gap in the curtains and wakes me from a restful sleep. I tilt my head down to look at Ariel, and see her staring at the tent in my underwear.
“Don’t worry. It’s a normal reaction when I sleep.”
“I wasn’t worried,” she says, sounding different. Clearly, she’s affected by the sight. I grab the edge of the blanket and throw it across my waist, covering it up.
“What are you doing today?” I wrap my arms tighter around her, loving the feel of her in my arms.
“I have to go to work soon.”
“You could just stay with me. I can call Tommy, tell him you need another night off.”
Her light laughter tickles my ears. I love the sound. “No. I have to work.”
Kissing the top of her head, I smile. “Okay. When are you off again?”
“I have to check the schedule. Why?”
“Because we are going out again.”
She leans back with a frown, looking me in the eyes. “Try asking.”
Raking the hair away from her face, letting my fingers graze her creamy skin, I ask.
“Ariel, will you go out with me?”
I can feel her smile against my chest. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” I roll her over onto her back, my body on top of hers. “Maybe?” I tickle her sides. She laughs, squirming as she tries to wiggle away from my hands.
When the laughter dies down, I remain on top, letting my erection press down against the V in her legs. She’s covered, but there’s no doubt she feels how much I want her.
Her lips part slightly and a little gasp escapes. Not wasting this electrified moment, I take her lips in a searing kiss, letting my tongue swirl with hers. Showing her with my tongue what I want to do with her body as I press my erection a little harder against her.
I don’t press my luck, and as much as it pains me to do so, I end the kiss and roll to the side and lie on my back. It isn’t easy, but I know I can’t rush her. She’ll run if I do.
With my arm slung across my eyes and forehead, I say, “You better get ready for work.” Before I fuck you right now.
“Okay.” She swallows hard; I hear it. Then I hear her slide off the bed. A few seconds later, the bathroom door shuts.
Chapter Nine
Ariel
Waiting tables in an absent stupor, I can’t get my mind off Luca. It turned out to be a great first date. My only first date.
“Girl!” Alina snaps her fingers in front of my face. “What’s with you tonight? Snap out of it.” My eyes shoot to hers. “What happened the other night with Luca?” she asks.
“Nothing,” I say defensively. “Why?”
“You’re preoccupied. That’s not like you.”
I shrug. “Got a lot on my mind.” From the corner of my eye, I see Jimmy set my drink order on the bar. “Gotta go. I’ll talk to you after work.”
“I’m holding you to it.”
I hurry to the bar, grab the drinks, take them over to the couple sitting at the corner table. I take a check to another table before rushing to take another order. It’s the same every night. Mundane.
For so many years, I was content with the ordinary. Being with Luca has made me feel alive for the first time in forever. He’s a little older than me, but he’s accomplished so much. What have I done? Nothing extraordinary, that’s for sure. I’ve been afraid for far too long. Maybe it’s time to take the bull by the horns, live a little, experience life. No more being afraid. Be strong, courageous.
I’ve just served the hamburger and French fries to table six when I turn and bump into a hard chest. Strong hands grab my shoulders, steadying me.
A wide smile stretches across my face. “Hey, Matt.”
His face lights. “Ariel.” It takes a minute before he releases his grip. “You’re back.”
I cock my head to the side. The new, bolder me asks, “Did you miss me?” Then I put a mischievous grin on my face.
“I did.” His eyes linger for a minute or so. “Would you have dinner with me sometime?”
Something to consider. Luca asked me out for my next day off. With only one date, we aren’t exclusive. “I’m busy this week, so . . .”
“Friday after next?” I can see the nervousness, can even understand it, but I’m still not ready to go all out, join the social game. Not just yet.
“Look, Matt. I like you, I really do. When I see you sitting on the barstool, my entire evening is better. But I don’t go out.” My eyes will him to understand. “I’ve been going through some things and I’m just not ready . . . yet.”
He glances at the floor and then lifts his eyes. “I understand. Will you let me know when things change?” A faint smile teases his lips.
“I will. Promise.”
“Okay.” He turns, and with a slight slump in his shoulders, he heads over to the bar and slides onto a stool.
I feel bad for telling him no, but a little part of me wants to see where things go with Luca. Okay, a big part.
The crowd winds down, everyone paying their tab and heading out. In twenty minutes, the bar will close.
“Have a good evening, sir,” I say as I take the older guy’s money and head for the cash register. When I look up, I see his backside just as he walks out of the door.
“It’s almost over,” Alina calls as she passes me, heading over to clear one of her tables.
“Thankfully. I’m tired.”
I start to clear the table and notice a bottle of medicine lying on the floor under the chair. The old guy must have dropped it when he pulled the money from his pocket. Scooping it up, I rush outside, hoping to see him and give it back. He’s nowhere in sight.
I read the label and my heart sinks. Nifedipine 10mg. “Shit,” I mutter, hoping that he realizes that he accidentally left it here and comes back before we leave.
Nifedipine. I know what it is, what it’s used for, thanks to my many hours of TV research. Opening the bottle, I peer inside and see it’s almost full of soft gel caps.
Come Monday, I’ll need to call the pharmacy and return the medicine, unless he comes in before then and asks for it. Heading toward the break room, I slip the bottle into my purse, vowing that one way or another, I’l
l get his medicine back to him.
When everything is closed down and cleaned up, Alina and I sit around the bar resting our feet, while Jimmy stands behind it. A rare occasion for us, to hang around after closing.
“What happened with Luca the other night?” Jimmy asks, leaning on the bar with his forearms.
“Nothing, why?”
“That just doesn’t sound like Luca. What he wants, he usually gets.”
One side of my mouth quirks upward. “We had a first date. It was nice. I like him.”
Jimmy scoffs. “I’m sure you do.”
“Hey!” My smile drops. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I just thought you were different.” He leans back and crosses his arms, a scowl on his face.
My blood boils. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Leave her alone, Jimmy.”
“No, Alina. I want to know what he means by that.” I cock my head and fold my arms across my chest, waiting for Jimmy to answer. I always considered him a good friend, but right now, he isn’t acting like one.
He straightens to full height, his arms still folded, and stares me in the eyes. “I didn’t think you would fall for his money, but hey, what do I know.” His jaw clenches tight and I can see the anger shining in his eyes. With a smirk, he says condescendingly, “Mark my words, little girl. After getting what he wants, he’ll chew you up, spit you out, and never look back.”
I feel gut punched and want to kick Jimmy right square in the balls. The one time I go on a date, he pulls this shit? I don’t have to sit here and listen to it.
“Jimmy!” Alina scolds, but I don’t care. Without a word, I grab my purse and march out of the bar. I hear Alina call my name, but I don’t bother looking back as I head for my apartment.
When I step inside, I slam the door shut with my foot, drop my purse on the floor, and head for the bathroom. I’m still angry, and the hot shower does nothing to tamp it down. I grab the bottle of wine Luca left, pour a full glass, and head for the couch and fire up the laptop.
Altruist has left several messages, so I open them up.
Are you awake? (Wednesday night)
Are you there? (Thursday night)
The Secrets We Keep Page 8