“Kate McCormack!” he smiled in happy remembrance. Kate smiled at a now slimmed-down Eamon Talbot, looking more handsome than she ever remembered him to have been. “Oh God, Kate, its great to see you.”
“This is a lovely surprise!”
“You haven’t changed. You’re the same delightful person. You’ve been visiting the family, and I didn’t know about it,” he said in dismay, looking at her suitcase.
He has changed, marvelously so.
“How long have you been in Gory?”
“Just for the day. We’re on our way to the train station.”
“Leaving by the back road?”
“I thought we’d go past the old National School on our way back to the station.”
“Not many children now in the town. Most of those we knew while growing up are scattered.” Then he looked at the boy playing with the dog, he asked, “Your son, I presume?”
“Yes, this is Eoin Egan. Eoin, Mr. Talbot is an old friend of mine.”
Eoin stopped playing with the dog long enough to shake Eamon’s outstretched hand, and asked, “Is this your dog?”
“Yes, Eoin, his name is Max.” The boy once again turned his attention to the dog.
Why am I so deliriously happy to see her? She’s married. What might have been can now never be. Yet, I can’t just let her walk away.
“May I walk with you both to the train station?” Talbot asked, although he had been going in the opposite direction. They walked the dirt road together. “Your husband didn’t come with you?”
“No, he works in England.”
After a brief pause, he stated, “You’ve named the boy after your father?”
“Yes.”
“I was always very fond of your father, but then, everyone in Gory was. Now, here you are married and with his grandson.”
“Have you married?”
“No, my favorite girl left town.”
Not knowing what to say, Kate remained silent.
“Do you think, as I do, that if my parents weren’t so anxious for us to marry, and your mother didn’t pressure you to do so, we would have had a chance?”
“We’ll never know for sure,” Kate softly replied, remembering how her mother spoke of Eamon as coming from a ‘good family.’
Kate recalled her mother’s high estimation of Eamon, the eldest of the Talbots’ three children, and his parents’ only son. Kate’s mother knew Eamon was destined to inherit his parent’s pub, an enterprise that would thrive in good times or bad. It would be a good match, Genevieve McCormack had told Kate. His parents were for it, and the quiet, sensitive Eamon was very fond of her and would treat her kindly.
The more her mother pushed Kate into what her mother thought to be a golden opportunity, the more Kate came to dislike not only his family, but his very name which became distasteful to her.
When Kate went to college in Dublin, her mother requested that she write to Eamon. Kate replied, saying her studies consumed all her time. Now looking at this man who walked beside her, Kate saw a very nice young man, no longer a bashful boy, with a background similar to hers. He had grown more interesting in her years away from home, or, she wondered, was he always pleasant and interesting but she did choose not to see it?
Believing Kate to be happily married, Eamon would not pursue what was not his.
The train was already in the station and getting ready to pull out. Eamon lifted the child and hugged him. Putting Eoin down, he turned to Kate and said, “It’s been great to see you again even if only for a brief moment,” and then he kissed her on the cheek and embraced her.
“Well, Kate, you have it all: a career, marriage, and a delightful child. You deserve the best.” He hesitated for a moment, and then added, “If you’re ever caught in a storm, Kate, call me; I’ll come.”
“Thank you, Eamon,” She smiled.
If he but knew how much stormy weather I’ve been through! I cannot burden him with my misadventures. I could have come to him when I found myself pregnant and told him straight out what I had done, and he would have accepted me and my child. Alas, that would have destroyed his life, for small towns never forget the indiscretions of the past, and I would have become Hawthorne’s Hester. None of that could have compared to what Eoin would suffer as a bastard child. I could not, would not allow that to happen to my son.
They boarded the train, followed by Max, which forced Eamon to follow. The wayward dog sought the child. Eoin opened the compartment door, and the dog put his paws on Eoin’s shoulders, claiming the boy.
“Does he not have a dog?” Eamon asked, reluctantly knowing he must separate the two.
“No, no room for a dog in our very small living quarters.”
“I’ll pull Max out, and you must close the door,” Eamon instructed the boy.
“Here, let me help you, Eoin,” his mother stated as each of the three of them struggled to bring to an end that which they would have liked to prolong. Eamon half pulled, half carried the big dog out into the passageway.
“Come back soon,” he called to her as he took the reluctant Max from the train. Eoin waved to Max, and Kate waved to Eamon, a solitary figure on the station platform as the train began to pull out of the station.
What could have happened, might have happened could not have happened after my encounter with Harry Brown.
CHAPTER 9
Kate and Eoin had no sooner settled down in their compartment than they heard a knock on the door. Kate opened the compartment door. Her brother Rory was standing there in the doorway with his wife, Gwen. He encircled Kate in an all-embracing hug.
“It’s so good to see you again, little sister.”
“Hello, Kate,” Gwen said, as she squeezed past her husband in order to hug Kate. “We saw a handsome man wave goodbye, and looking down the train from our compartment window, discovered he was waving to you!”
“That was Eamon, an old friend from our school days in Gory.”
“Married?”
“No.”
“When did you arrive? Have you been to the house?” Rory, in entering the conversation cut off the women’s fanciful thinking.
“We arrived today. We’ve had tea with Momma and Kieran, and now we’re on our way back to Dublin.”
“Without seeing me?” he asked in playful accusation. “And who is this young man who’s sharing your compartment?”
“My son, Eoin.”
“Eoin, I’m your Uncle Rory,” her brother said scooping the boy up into his arms. “You are as handsome, Eoin, as your mother is beautiful. But why, Kate, are you leaving so soon?”
“We didn’t know you were home or would have invited you to our home,” Gwen added.
After the reception she had received at her mother’s house, Kate wanted to cut short this meeting with Rory before permitting him to condemn her for her past indiscretions. But the manner in which he lifted Eoin into his arms and introduced himself as the child’s uncle caused her to hesitate. She thought about the game they used to play as children, calling out “friend or foe” when one of them came into view.
Was Rory’s friendship as shallow as Kieran’s? As a child, she would eagerly await Kieran’s coming home from college. He was her hero. Yet, the one time she came to him for help, he refused her.
“My visit has upset Momma. It was, perhaps, wrong of me to come back. Momma didn’t approve of my being seen in public with a child, and I without a husband,” Kate told Rory and Gwen, deciding to get it all out in the open and get their reaction.
“Gwen and I would be proud to have you and young Eoin accompany us to the dining carriage. We’re on our way to Dublin for the horse show. It’s absolutely great seeing you again, Kate.”
“Yes,” Gwen added, “and since you live in Dublin, we’ll be able see a great deal of you during our week there.”
“Well, I took three days off to come to Gory, but since I stayed just one day, I have Monday and Tuesday free.”
“You must come to the horse show
with us every day,” Gwen insisted. “We’re staying at the Shelburne Hotel on Stephen’s Green.” Gwen and Kate followed Rory and Eoin who were heading to the dining car.
Gwen and Rory were not, as her mother would say, “blessed with children.” There was disappointment at the time of this discovery, but teaching schedules, faculty functions, students’ needs, and the social life the university provided them made for a very active and full life. Not having children of their own left them with the opportunity and resources to do what they both loved—travel to primitive and exotic places. Although they both loved children, they became not so much resigned to, but accustomed to, having no children. They loved each other and were happy in their careers.
Dinner was very pleasant with reminiscence and much laughter. Gwen and Rory’s happiness was contagious. Kate enjoyed their company, and Eoin delighted in their attention to him. After they had dessert, Gwen brought forth from her handbag some playing cards. “Do you play cards?” she asked Eoin and when he answered no, she suggested they go back to Uncle Rory’s compartment, and she would instruct him in card playing. Their departure left Kate and Rory time alone to talk.
“Tell me, Kate, what has been happening in your life?”
“Well, I’m married to Francis Egan. Eoin was conceived before my marriage to Francis who is therefore not his father. Francis has left me. He’s working in England.”
“How did you manage? You would have to have left your job before Eoin’s birth, and afterwards you had an infant to take care of. How on earth did you manage?”
“Very poorly. Fortunately Francis provided me with a place to stay, but I was without an income for quite a while.”
“Why didn’t you get in touch with one of us?”
“I did.”
“You did! You received money from mother, or money from your inheritance?”
“No. I didn’t ask mother. I asked Kieran, who was in touch with Daddy’s lawyer, and handled Mother’s financial affairs, if I could have advancement on my inheritance from Daddy. If wouldn’t be mine, I knew, until I was twenty-five years old, which I will be next month, but I desperately needed some of it at that time.”
“And Kieran took care of it?”
“No. He said no advancement was permitted.”
“How did you survive without cash?”
“I was greatly helped by the kindness of my neighbors. They also loaned me a crib and a carriage. I gave birth in the cottage to avoid the expense of going to the hospital for delivery, and to avoid the charity wards. I worked in a cinema until two days before Eoin was born”
“The cinema? Doing what?”
“Picking up rubbish between seats, and I was cleaning bathrooms.”
“That bastard! He could have gotten you the advancement, yet he put you through all that?”
Rory was angry. Kate wasn’t sure if Rory was correct in his assessment of the situation. The money wasn’t hers until she became of age to receive it. She had assumed from what Kieran had told her, that the money not accessible.
“I’m back doing nursing part-time. At Christmastime, on the eve before Eoin’s first Christmas, I received a Christmas card and a money order from Francis. Every month since, I’ve gotten a money order from London. He gave his aunt a work telephone number to contract him in an emergency, a number they will not use. Other than that, I have had no contact with him. If I did, I’d tell him I’m working and when I turn twenty-five years next month, I will no longer need his financial support.”
“He abandons you, and yet he left his cottage at your disposal? He is a strange one!”
“Is our family not in some ways strange, too?”
“Yes, I must agree with you on that. All families have their peculiarities.”
“I should not have come home. Momma always gave me the impression she didn’t like me. She never spent time with me; didn’t really speak to me. I never seemed to please her.
“You both got off on the wrong foot. Give her another chance.”
“No, Rory, she’s unhappy enough with me. I’d rather not return and add to her unhappiness.” Kate’s words rushed forth and then came to a halt. After a brief silence, she asked, “Why doesn’t she like me?”
“It was not that she didn’t like you. It was what you represented.”
“Represented! I am her only daughter!”
“It goes back to before you were born.”
“I could hardly have offended anyone before being born!”
The waiter came to the table.
“More wine?” he asked.
“No,” Kate replied, “not for me, but I’d like some tea.”
“Two teas,” Rory said. After the waiter left, Rory revealed some of the family’s past history.
“Mom and Dad were not very suited to each other. They had different tastes and interests and incompatible personalities. Mom was caught up in maintaining a beautiful home and in the social life of the town, such as it was. Dad found the party scene where they mingled endlessly with the same people, bore.
Mom discovered he had a friendship with Helena, the librarian. Their relationship apparently consisted of lengthy discussions on politics, history, philosophy, and literature, and as far as anyone knew, all these discussions transpired in the local library. I do not think there was any hanky panky going on; just Dad being able to speak with another person about things that interested him, and which Helena was well qualified to discuss. Whether there was more to it than that I do not know, and neither did Mom, but she sought to end it even though I thought, and believe she also felt, there was nothing happening that should not be happening between Helena and Dad.
“Helena was a very nice person, and did not seem like the home-wrecker type. Kieran and I were about nine and eleven at the time. Mom hadn’t wanted any more than two children. She had hoped to have a boy and a girl, but my arrival spoiled that plan.
“In order to ‘save’ her marriage, Mom got pregnant. Dad’s intellectual pursuits were put aside, and he gave into her every wish during her pregnancy. Dad was deliriously happy when you showed up. Mom had always wanted a daughter and was happy until you had passed the infant stage. When you were about a year old, Mom saw all Dad’s love centered on you, leaving her on the sidelines. Her sole reason for having another child was to win him back, and now the child, the daughter she always wanted, was the center of Dad’s affection.
“Mom could not take it. She fell into a deep depression that lasted over two years. Dad had to hire a nanny to take care of you, because Mom could not do so.”
“I don’t remember Momma being depressed. She always seemed so strong and capable.” Kate said in amazement.
“You were too young to know.”
“So that is why she disliked me.”
“It wasn’t that Mom disliked you. The situation caused enmity between her and you. She didn’t want him not to love you. She just wanted him to share a portion of that great love he had for you with her.”
“Even now I seem to remind her of something she lost.”
“Mom would have given you the money you needed. Of course, you wouldn’t ask her. Why then didn’t you come to me when you needed money?”
“Kieran managed the family finances. After Daddy died, I felt I had nobody to turn to. Kieran always smiled at me, took a moment or two to relate a joke to me as he came and went from the house. Of course, he never stayed long, but the few minutes he spent with me made me happy. So I approached him concerning the advancement.”
“He smiled at you! Shared a joke with you! That was all you required? Then I failed you. I tried to step into Dad’s shoes where you were concerned.”
“I don’t know whose shoes you stepped into, Rory, but they certainly weren’t Daddy’s shoes,” Kate laughed. “Daddy trusted me. He believed in me. Believed I’d do what was right.”
“Stepping in for Dad was a tough job that I had assigned myself, and with the arrogance of a twenty-year old.”
“You did wha
t you thought best. Taking Daddy’s place in my life would have been beyond anyone’s ability.”
“I was new at the job and a bit heavy-handed, I must admit.”
“A bit heavy-handed,” Kate laughed. “You had absolutely no faith in me. You questioned my every movement, didn’t like my friends, and demanded an account of where I had been, whom I was with, and what took place. You missed your calling, Rory. You had the makings of a diligent detective.”
“Was I that bad? It was all done to protect you,” he explained.
“From what?”
“Well, you were much too friendly with the Gillespie boys, and they were trouble.”
“Yes, they were pranksters, but they were never into any serious trouble.”
“Oh, you don’t think so? Tying two door knobs together and knocking on both doors simultaneously so that when the people tried to open their front doors, they each pulled against the other and neither door would open?”
“That was a Hallows Eve prank.”
“What about the summer they tied two cats’ tails together, then threw the cats over a clothesline where the cats scratched each other almost to death?”
“The Gillespie’s didn’t do that.”
“Is that what they said?”
“No, I was with them when that happened, and we were nowhere near Mrs. Davitt’s clothesline. By the time we heard about it, Tom Payne had cut the twine and released the cats. The Gillespies were blamed for many things they were not involved in. Some ‘nice boys’ from good families, whose mothers thought butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths, did the really nasty things.”
“Well, maybe I misjudged them, but I didn’t want your reputation sullied by your association with them.”
Kate laughed and laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“The voice is yours but those words are Momma’s—‘my reputation, ‘sullied through association.’”
“All right, I’m a pompous ass.”
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