by Cydney Rax
“Mariah?”
“Ummm,” LaNecia groans, savoring how it feels to hold Scottie in her arms once again. She presses her nipples against his back and starts rubbing her hands up and down his slippery belly.
“Hey, babe,” he says, but his voice is filled with uncertainty.
“Ummm,” LaNecia says again and mashes her lips on his back and lightly kisses his skin.
“Hold on a sec, I want to see you. I gotta rinse off my hair and dry my face.”
“Mmmmmm,” she moans helplessly and caresses his shoulders.
“That feels good. Hold on, babe.”
Scottie tries to turn around and face her, but she forces her feet to stay in place. He struggles again until he overpowers her and finally opens his eyes.
“W–what the hell you doing? Get outta here,” he hisses, lowering his hands over his penis.
“C’mon, baby, I’ll give you some right here, right now, like we used to do.”
Scottie hurriedly steps out of the shower. He snatches a huge body towel off the rack and twists it around his hips.
LaNecia counts to three then shyly steps out of the shower.
“Do you have another towel?” she meekly asks.
“No!” he snaps. “Here, use mine, hurry up, then get out of here. My gal will be here any minute. What if she …? I don’t want anybody to see you in here with me. Especially my gal.”
“So you honestly care what she thinks?”
“Yes, I do.”
“What did you mean when you told me you loved me? Tell me. You owe that to me.”
“Cousin, please.”
She prays he sees the earnestness in her eyes, her body. Long ago, she was told men are weak, that every woman possesses the power to bring down any man. From U.S. presidents, politicians, and popular preachers, woman can use her sultry voice to utter the right words, her thick and luscious lips to engage his imagination, her sexy curves, or ample cleavage.
If I’m so powerful, why can’t I get what I want?
LaNecia stares at Scottie and sees pain and confusion in his eyes. She wonders what it all means. Is he feeling regretful because he knows he’s hurting me?
She finishes patting herself dry, tosses the damp towel at him, stares at her clothes that are scattered on the floor, and decides to get dressed.
“You know what I think? You are playing games, Scottie.”
“There’s something I want and crave so much, and you can’t give it to me.”
“But she can?”
“I’m trying to do with Dani what I couldn’t do with you. I couldn’t do it with you.”
“And you’re changing your true nature to try and capture this, this …” She sputters, unable to come up with an appropriate word to summarize her feelings.
“No, see, that’s where you’re wrong. By being with her, I am learning that I can be the man I was destined to be.”
“What type of man is that?”
“Honest, faithful, trustworthy.”
“Ha, yeah right. Does she know about all those women on your MySpace?”
“Yes, she does. And by the way, I know you’ve hacked into my account. I’ve changed my password so you can’t snoop around anymore.”
LaNecia bares her teeth and quickly recovers. “I don’t care. I was just messing around.”
“You overstepped your lines, cousin.”
A loud knock on the bathroom door interrupts them. Scottie holds his hands together as if he’s praying. He looks at LaNecia and whispers, “Please.”
She folds her arms over her chest and waits.
“Scottie, are you in there?”
After a while, the knocking ends. Several other minutes pass before Scottie releases the breath he was desperately holding.
“Cousin, I hope you understand.”
“Well, I don’t, but what difference does it make? Anyway, I need some cash,” she lies. “Can you help me out? I got another job but don’t start until next week. Then I won’t be paid for another couple of weeks….” She knows he can’t give her time, but he’ll part with money, probably out of guilt.
“Sure, I’ll help you.”
“Thanks.”
“No, wait. I can’t.”
“What?”
“I have a goal, and I need to save every dollar I can. Been saving ever since I got the construction gig.”
“You can’t even lend me …?”
“No, cousin, no.”
“I think someone would be very shocked to know that you didn’t answer her when she was at the door.”
“Um, thanks for not saying anything.”
“Scottie, the fact that you hid from her tells me you aren’t honest, faithful, or trustworthy.”
LaNecia gives him a hateful look, then slams the bathroom door behind her.
Minutes later, LaNecia pumps herself up to give herself the strength she needs to stick around for dinner. She rushes downstairs straight for the kitchen, where she knows she’ll find Anya.
“Hi, there.” She waves at Anya, who’s using two pot holders to carry a glass container of sweet potato casserole to the breakfast bar.
“Need any help?” LaNecia asks.
“Huh? You’re asking to help me with dinner? I think I’ve got it covered. If you want to do something, you can slice that pork roast. You know where the knives are.”
“Sure, I gotta do something, anything.” LaNecia opens the knife drawer, picks out the one with the sharpest blade, and presses the knife against the rack of meat and starts cutting.
“Whoa, watch it, girl. You sound like you chopping off someone’s head.”
“Oh, I guess my attitude is showing. I don’t want to chop off his head. I mean, I am not trying to chop off anybody’s anything. I just want to understand men.”
“Let me guess, you aren’t getting what you want and now you’re pissed off … again.”
“Well, I don’t see how you’ve lasted so long with Neil. Doesn’t he get on your nerves?”
“Girl, all the time!”
“But he still stays with you. Y’all still love each other.”
“We have to work at it, LaNecia. Any relationship worth having requires tons of work.”
“That’s what I thought. But what if the other partner isn’t willing to work at it, to try to make things better?”
“You know what, I just think you’re way too young to be so concerned about perfecting a relationship with a man. You ought to concentrate on yourself.”
“Please, Anya. No lectures.”
“I can’t help it. If young people would only do half of what adults tell them …”
“I am an adult!”
“Based on what? A number? The fact you drive a car that someone else paid for? The fact that you don’t live under your parents’ roof?”
“Well, yeah,” she says indignantly.
“Young people these days are living in a dream world.” Anya laughs and shakes her head. “Dang, when I say stuff like this, it just proves I’m old, huh? But as much as I wish I were younger and could have the knowledge and strength that are inside me right now, I wouldn’t want to be twenty-one again for anything in the world. That’s when people think they know everything, when in reality they don’t know anything. You think older people are stupid. But the opposite is true.”
“Why you ragging on me?”
“Don’t ever say you’re grown and you can do what you want to do, because, guess what? You really can’t! I’m twice your age and I can’t do what I please, so what makes you think you can?”
“’Cause I know how to play the game. I just gotta be willing to play. It’s just like playing Monopoly. At first you’re kidding around. But after a while, when the stakes are high, you know you can’t be merciful anymore. You gotta snatch up those properties, bankrupt a Negro, if you want to go all the way and win the fucking game.”
“But some things that seem like just a game aren’t.” LaNecia notices the biting stare that Anya gives
her. She feels like telling her to be quiet. There are times when LaNecia is willing to listen, but today isn’t one of them. She feels too frustrated by Scottie’s wishy-washy attitude to totally consider what any person over thirty-five advises her to do.
“Well, jeez, no need to get loud, Anya.”
“Huh? Oh, LaNecia, you’re right. I apologize. I–I there’s just a lot going on right now.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, for one, we’re having a ton of people over next month for the holidays….”
“I didn’t mean tell me literally.”
“Oh!”
“I gotta go. Going to say my good-byes, then I’m outta here.”
“You’re not staying for dinner?”
“Change of plans. ’Bye, Anya.”
“Before you go, ask yourself one question. When it comes to you trying to play the game against the other woman, what qualities do you have that are far superior to what she’s bringing to the table? If you don’t rank higher than her in just about every category, you can forget about Boardwalk. Don’t even think about Park Place. You won’t even be in the game, let alone win it.”
LaNecia nods her head thoughtfully and tells Anya she’ll get with her some other time.
She walks into the den and immediately spots Dani sitting on the sofa with Scottie nestled on the floor, seated between her legs. He’s freshly dressed and relaxing after his shower. Dani’s fingers tenderly rub Scottie’s shoulders. His eyes are closed, and he looks peaceful.
“Ahem.” LaNecia clears her throat. “Hey everyone, I don’t mean to interrupt. But I think I left my bra upstairs from a few minutes ago when we were showering….”
“Cousin, don’t front. Ain’t no bras upstairs.”
Dani jumps in. “He’s right. I can see right through your shirt and it’s obvious you’re wearing a bra. Not that you need one.”
“Um, excuse me. Talk what you know. Because he sure got an eyeful when we were upstairs. Or didn’t you know that?”
“He told me how you just invited yourself in when you knew good and well he was in the shower. He told me what you said, everything you said.”
LaNecia stares at Scottie. How can you tell her what we did?
“I know my man. And for the record, I do trust him. He is faithful. He is honest.”
“But …”
“Another thing, I told Scottie he needs to remember to lock the bathroom door whenever he’s in this house. You never know who or what is going to just wander in.”
“This is my family’s house, you hear me? I am welcome in every single room in this place, you got it?”
“Well,” Dani says, “next time you even think Scottie is in a room, don’t even try to go in.”
“Is that right? He’s in this room and I came in here. That doesn’t even make any sense. You can’t keep me away from my own family, old lady. I don’t care what you say.”
“Cousin …” Scottie butts in.
“I’m Necia. I’m baby doll. I’m the best piece of ass….” LaNecia stops herself before finishing with “you’ve ever had,” words he used to tell her after they had sex. She absolutely doesn’t want to break down even though she feels she’s coming close to it. She stares at Dani with hatred and realizes she’s been playing the game all wrong. I always end up doing what she wants me to do. I gotta make this old lady do what I want her to do.
LaNecia barely says good-bye before she runs out of the house and to her car.
She flips opens her cell phone, logs on to the Internet, and is relieved and happy that Scottie hasn’t changed his e-mail password. She quickly requests the new password that Scottie recently changed for his MySpace account.
No way this game is over. The dice haven’t even started to roll yet.
— 12 —
DANI
Olive Juice
It’s Saturday night. I’ve just given Brax his bath and read him a story he loves called The Berenstain Bears Count Their Blessings.
We’re seated on a taupe polyester recliner that I got on sale from JCPenney. It’s my favorite place to snuggle with my son, especially on a rainy evening like tonight.
“Sister Bear is happy for the things that her parents have given her. See, Brax?” I point at the colorful illustrations while he sits on my lap with his head comfortably pressed against my chest.
“She’s hap-py,” he shouts.
This little girl bear feels happy but I wish to feel like her.
I continue engaging Brax. “We should be grateful and happy for what we have.”
“Hap-py! Hap-py! Hap-py!”
Inside my heart seems to sink lower than my knees. But outside is what counts because outside is what Brax sees.
“Mommy not hap-py. Mommy sad. Mommy cry baby.”
“What did you say?” Earlier I was in bed wiping my eyes with some tissues. When Brax wandered into my room, I pressed the tissue to my nose and coughed. He said, “Excuse me,” and then ran out of the room.
But now he keeps looking from his book to my face.
“Kiss Mommy!”
“Of course,” I yelp, and I let him kiss me on the cheeks.
“Okay son, it’s nine o’clock. Way past your bedtime,” I say, trying to sound cheery so he won’t think I’m too upset at him for not going to bed when I told him to an hour ago.
“No, Mommy.”
“Don’t say no to me. You go to bed right now or I’ll call your daddy.”
I feel like a creep pulling Neil into this. But I don’t have any other options. After all, Neil is Brax’s daddy, right? It’s not like he has any other daddy.
Once I get Brax tucked into his bed and attempt to sing him a lullaby, he protests for a few minutes until his eyelids droop and he starts snoring. I give him a peck on the forehead and close the door to his room. I go back to the living room and throw his book on the floor. I pull my knees up on the recliner so I can get comfy, and I check up on Neil. Anya and Vette mentioned they might attend a children’s play at Solomon’s Temple even though Reese’s role is somewhat minor.
“Hmm, what’s the matter?”
“Neil! Is that any way to greet the sexiest woman in Houston?” I murmur into the phone. “What are you up to?”
“Nothing.”
“I’m glad you’re home.”
“Why’s that, Dani? What are you even doing calling me if it doesn’t have to do with Brax?”
“Hey, I resent that.” I pout. “I think we should be able to have a conversation that doesn’t totally center on our son.”
“Whatever, Dani.”
I feel a slight pinch in my chest. Normally Neil is elated to hear my voice. I can tell when Anya’s not home because his voice grows tender, softer, and sexier by the minute. But right now he sounds like his regular stiff self.
“Won’t my brother feel resentful that you’re sitting in his face and calling me?”
“He’s not here.”
“Where is he?”
“Um, he said he had to do something important.” Problem is, I feel uneasy about what that exactly means. Scottie’s been acting secretive lately, and it bothers me.
“He’s doing something without you? I thought Saturday was your weekly date night.” Neil sounds sarcastic, which makes me feel better. That’s the Neil that I know.
“Well, um, it is, but I guess he had something critical to take care of.”
“You better hope the old Scottie isn’t on the prowl.”
“What do you mean by that?” Feeling scared, I sit up in my chair and twist my hair into a circle.
“Back in the day, this man would see three different women in one day. He’d meet one chick for breakfast at IHOP. Then he’d join another chick for coffee that afternoon. And by night, he’d be laid up with some girl after they went to a midnight movie.”
“Neil, don’t tell me. I don’t want to hear all that,” I say, feeling sick to my stomach.
“I’m doing what you wanted. And if you ask
me, that’s something he should have already told you.”
“He does tell me a lot of things, but tonight he was unusually evasive.”
“Figures. Oh well. Not like I didn’t warn you. Not like my cousin didn’t try and tell you.”
“Wow,” I murmur. “Why does this always happen to me?”
“Don’t tell me you got socked in the eye by so-called love?”
“No, no, I wasn’t in love. But your brother is a lot of fun to hang around with. He was connecting with me in a strong way. We just enjoyed dinner with your mom a few nights ago. Nothing real fancy. We met her at a Pappadeaux….”
“Where LaNecia worked?”
“No way. We were on Westheimer near Kirkwood.”
“How’d it turn out?”
“Interesting, to say the least. It was weirdly polite at first. Then it became a kind of open forum. Your mom asked some pretty direct questions about Scottie and his plans, his job, and how our relationship was affecting you.”
“Did she? My mom’s looking out for her favorite.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. She cares for Scottie very deeply. I can see that.” I pause and choose my words carefully. “She told me that she finds it hard to believe that I can sincerely have feelings for Scottie after what you and I have been through. She was hoping that Scottie and I had dated for a few weeks, and then it had turned ‘into nothing like the rest of ’em.’ That’s what she actually said to me. Can you believe that?”
“That’s a mother for you. She doesn’t play.”
“Yeah well, we managed to get through all that, and by the time the evening ended, we were laughing and talking about Brax. So that was good. Still, I dunno. I thought he wanted me to bond with your mom on a whole different level. Now he’s nowhere to be found.”
“You sound like you don’t trust him.”
For a second I wonder if I have a right to tell Neil such personal things that have happened between Scottie and me. But who else can I tell? I’ve already called Summer three times tonight describing what’s going on, and I’ve worn out my welcome on that conversation. Neil is the only other person who I feel I can talk to. I do believe that he’d kick Scottie’s ass if he ever hurt or betrayed me in the slightest way.
“Until your brother does something outright disrespectful in a way that I know he’s dissing me on purpose, I can’t find any fault in him. He’s tried to capture my heart.”