by Cydney Rax
I’m at home, alone in my oversize garden tub. My legs, arms, breasts, and everything else on my body are totally immersed in soothing hot water filled with healing salts and jasmine-scented bubble bath. My hair is in rollers and wrapped in a silk scarf. My head is resting against a white foam bath pillow that perfectly supports my back. I’m reading a book of poetry and intermittently talking out loud.
“Dear Lord, thank you so much for another year. It hasn’t been a perfect year, but things could’ve been worse. And I just want you to know that I feel grateful this morning. I sure do.”
As the years go by, it’s easier to make assessments about life, and think about where I’ve been, and decide where I want to go. But one thing that never seems to change is how elated I feel to be a woman. Although we don’t live in the best and safest neighborhood in town, we’re not in foreclosure, and I am sentimentally attached to my home. And even though I wish I’d given birth to more children for Neil, at least I’m Mom to a fine and mostly obedient daughter who I adore; and I’m no fool. Neil and I may have our issues, but I have a husband who’s still employed, and he wonderfully manages our household. Nope, how can I feel sorry for my thirty-nine-year-old self? A lot of women would trade places with Anya Meadows. They sure would.
I close my eyes and enjoy my rare moment of quietness, which is a gift that a woman needs so her spirit can rest; then she’s ready to listen and can be in tune with what she needs to do.
Minutes later, when I hear a loud rap on my door and I know it’s not Neil, because he always sleeps in on Thanksgiving, I am beyond annoyed.
“Who is it?” Several people spent the night, so it could be anybody. “I’m busy.”
“Scottie. May I come in?”
“What the … Scottie, I’m trying to take a bath, if you don’t mind.”
“I’m not trying to disrespect you, Anya, but it’s important. Can you draw the curtain? I want to talk to you.”
“I cannot believe this.” I sigh. I slide the shower curtain so that I’m hiding behind it and I tell Scottie, “Come in.”
I hear him open and close the door. Even though he cannot see me, I feel like he knows what I look like without clothes.
I drag the washcloth over my breasts. “What’s going on?”
“Anya, I know this is going to sound crazy, but I need your advice.”
“Yes, it sounds crazy!”
“Anyway, h–how did you know Neil was the one?”
“All I know is Neil didn’t seem as immature as most of the other guys I dated. He was reliable, and he seemed ready for commitment. And I felt he loved me in a way that I needed. Those traits were enough to let me know Neil had what it took.”
Scottie doesn’t say anything. I mentally pray that God hasn’t left the room and that he’ll answer my prayer to make my brother-in-law go away. Far, far away.
“Did your family like him? Or did you care if they did?”
“Humph. My mama just told me no matter who I was with, I better not take my eyeballs off him because all men are the same. She was too busy chasing behind my daddy to be completely involved in my relationships. But I do remember when it was time to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary and Neil paid for a week’s vacation to Hawaii, my mama acted like she didn’t want to take care of Reesy while we were gone.”
“Why not?”
“When one woman has a hard time snagging what comes easily for another woman, she’s gonna have trouble dealing with it. She’ll ask herself what makes that woman better or any different than her. Neil was such a good husband….”
“Was?”
I raise my voice. “Neil is mostly a good husband when he’s focused. But I tell you, Scottie, when that lady you’re chasing after was messing around with Neil, my mama couldn’t wait to laugh in my face. She acted happy that my husband was unfaithful.”
“How could your own mother act like that?”
“She said it was the first time she viewed me as human,” I say, almost in a whisper. “If feeling angry and bitter and crying every night about my relationship is her definition of being human, then I guess I am.”
Let’s face it. There are so many unhappy people on this planet. If one woman is doing significantly better than another, sure, the lady will pretend to be happy for her. She’ll say the right things with her mouth, but in her heart, and especially in her eyes, bitterness and envy take residence. The woman actually cannot wait for something bad and tragic to happen. That’s the only way some people can feel good about themselves.
“So your moms was hating on her daughter because of some bullshit?”
“Pretty much. But I learned over the years to ignore those kinds of things. It’s my life. The only life I will ever have. So I had to ignore the pain.”
“You ignored it because the marriage is what you wanted, regardless of what anyone else thought or said?”
“Every couple goes through that. You can’t please a hundred percent of the people one hundred percent of the time no matter what you choose to do.” I sink farther into the bathwater. The bubbles are quickly dissipating. I wish he’d hurry.
“Have you asked all your questions?”
“Not quite. But thanks, Anya. You’ve helped me much more than you ever know.” The smile in his voice is so bright I can envision his eyes. His feelings are clear. I’ve learned once a man has made up his mind about something, there’s no turning him back.
“Sounds like you’re in love.”
“That’s my baby.”
“Hmmm.”
“Can you see yourself loving Dani even though you don’t like what happened in the past?”
“That’s a tough one,” I admit. “I don’t hate the girl. I just wish I could reverse time. But wishing for that to happen is a waste. It is what it is.”
“Do you trust her?”
“That is something for you to answer, Scottie. If you’re going to be in a true, strong, and committed relationship with Dani, it’s all about how you feel, not me. Now, if you don’t mind, my bathwater is getting so cold I can rinse my vegetables in it.”
“Sick.”
“Whatever, Scottie. Let me enjoy my morning. I have a lot of cooking ahead of me and folks coming over, so …”
“I hear ya. We’ll talk later, Anya!”
An hour later, my kitchen resembles a Ford Motor Company assembly line.
We’ve gathered in my usual spot. Spices, metal pans, glass bowls, casserole dishes, and utensils border every inch of counter space.
“Reesy, you can start cracking the eggs in that bowl over there. Be careful. Do it like I taught you.”
“Okay, Mommy. I’ll crack the eggs first in this bowl and make sure that no chickies are in the egg yolk. Yuck,” she says making a face.
“That’s a good girl.” Vette instructs Reesy to hold her arms up so she can wrap a bright red apron around her thin waist. Reesy grabs her white cotton chef’s hat and pulls it over her braids. “How do I look?”
“You look good, baby. Now get to work.” Neil smiles down at his daughter, then takes her photo with his digital camera.
“Daddy!”
“Hush, girl. This is just a picture. In a minute I’m changing the setting so I can videotape y’all. That’ll be good for a few laughs.”
“Whatever, Neil. Anyway, Dani, don’t just stand there like you’ve never been in a kitchen before,” I say. She’s at the farthest edge of the kitchen, staring at the mini flat screen that Neil bought for me and installed in the kitchen last Christmas.
“Hold on,” she says looking distracted. The television is turned to the local news. Anchors are gabbing about the Thanksgiving Day parade, which is just beginning.
“I haven’t been down there in ages,” Dani murmurs. “Thank God the weather’s nice. Maybe I can take a break and go downtown real quick. Brax would absolutely get a huge kick out of going to the parade … unless you need me here.”
“Dani, how can you take a break when you haven’t even d
one anything yet?” I smile, halfway teasing. “Unless toasting bread slices and putting butter on them counts for anything.”
“Ouch, okay, never mind. We will skip the parade this year … like every year,” she says. “I can only imagine what Ma and my sisters will be doing in a few hours. Cooking or going to a parade near Long Beach. Humph, knowing them, they’re probably still under the covers. Good for them.”
“What do you need me to do, Mrs. Meadows?” she asks tearing herself away from the television.
Just then I hear noise at the front door, which I intentionally left open earlier. Loud clicks from a few pairs of shoes sound on the hallway floor. Then LaNecia and Karetha appear in the kitchen.
“We’re here,” LaNecia says in a singsong voice.
“Awww, shit,” Dani says. She picks up a knife and starts chopping the green pepper and onions while trying to watch the commercial breaks from the parade.
“It is so pretty outside. It’s going to be a great day.” LaNecia beams.
Vette says to her, “Why are you in such a Katie Couric mood, Miss Cheerful?”
“It’s a good day, girl. I ain’t trying to be having a scowl on my face all the time, now am I? Plus my girl Ka is here with me, and I always feel a thousand percent better when she’s around.”
“Hey, everybody, what’s popping? Let me wash my hands and help out.”
“Ka is good people. I like that,” I say. “I do. Join us. The more the merrier.”
Dani murmurs, “The more, the messier. So be it.”
We ladies manage to work together, each of us with our assigned kitchen duties. Ka and LaNecia oversee making homemade potato salad. LaNecia tosses ten potatoes with the skins covering them inside a twelve-quart Crock-Pot set on the rear burner of my electric stove.
Scottie walks into the kitchen, scanning the happenings with his hands on his hips.
“What’s this supposed to be?” he asks Vette, who’s stirring the ingredients of corn-bread stuffing.
“Boy, don’t even try it. Get out the kitchen. Nothing in here for you.”
“Yes, there is,” he says, but his eyes remain on the stuffing.
“Greedy ass, you gotta wait till everything’s done,” LaNecia says out loud, cackling. “I can hear your stomach growling all the way over here.”
“Whatever, cousin.”
The grin drops from LaNecia’s face and a grimace replaces it. “What I tell you about calling me …”
“Hey,” Dani butts in. “Be thankful. He could call you worse.”
“And I could call you worse, but I won’t.”
“Oh, come on now,” Vette complains. “We were doing real well till the troublemaker showed up. Scottie, go on and get outta here.”
“Shoot, don’t worry. I gotta go on an errand anyway. I’m just saying,” he says, and goes to stare at the boiling potatoes. “I’m a big, hungry man. You need to think about throwing more potatoes in the pot. I love me some ’tato salad.”
“Where are you going?” Dani asks.
“To hell if I don’t pray. Do you trust me, Dani?”
“Sure, of course.”
“Then I’ll see you in an hour. Just don’t go anywhere. I want to break bread with you today.”
Dani’s eyes are stuck on the television. The news anchors animatedly talk as live footage of travelers are being interviewed while standing in line at Hobby Airport.
“Busiest travel day of the year. Humph. Not me. The airlines have gone nuts charging up the ass just to carry a funky bag of luggage. Crazy.”
“Yep, Dani. That’s why I’m glad to be celebrating the holiday at home. With family. The way things should be,” I tell her. “You must miss your mother.”
“I do. But that’s how it goes when folks are spread out around the country. Best we can do is be on the same longdistance cellular plan and talk all we can. I tried calling Ma last night but got no answer. I’ll try again in a couple of hours.”
“My mother-in-law is coming over, so that’ll be good. She’s gonna be watching us,” I tell her and LaNecia. “All of us, so we must act like we got some good sense … at least while she’s here we gotta act the part.”
“And as soon as she leaves,” LaNecia says, air-boxing with her hands, “it’s on like popcorn.” She high-fives Karetha.
“No popcorn today, young lady. Only good food, good conversation, and good times,” I firmly tell her.
Two hours later, all of us are seated at the dining room table. A red tablecloth covers my oblong oak dining set. Neil just said grace and is scooping up greens and rice casserole for his mom.
“Where’s Scott-Scott?” Sola asks, looking around the table. She’s seated next to Neil, but the chair next to her is empty. “I thought this chair is for him?”
“I don’t know where he is, Mother,” I gently say. “He left a while ago. On an errand or something.”
“He’s always up to something,” Neil states.
“Don’t talk about your brother while he’s not here, Neil. You know better than that.”
Sola’s words quiet the chitter chatter. I am impressed by how she takes control of the atmosphere. She’s a thin-boned woman who hails from Louisiana. Her fine, dark hair is combed into a neat bun that’s secured with a butterfly hair ornament. She’s wearing a light wool sweater and dark slacks that for any one of us would look out of place, but Sola appears regal and classy.
“I want to say I’m glad to be able to have dinner with you today. I was sick for a minute, but God blessed me to regain my strength, and being here with the family is a true blessing.”
A commotion at the front door causes everyone to turn their heads in unison toward the hallway.
Scottie, looking sheepish, steps into the dining room.
“Well, hello there, Scott-Scott.” Sola beams at her son and stands up.
“Hey, gorgeous.” He smiles back and gives her a kiss and a hug. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
“No, you’re not,” Neil snaps and keeps eating.
“Brother, calm down. It was for a very good reason. I have a surprise. A huge surprise. Um, Dani, look over this way. There’s something I want you to see.”
Dani’s eyes enlarge when she sees two young women standing in the hallway.
“Brenda!” she screams and leaps from her chair. “Chana? What are you two doing here?” She runs into the older woman’s arms and hugs her so tight that the woman has a hard time laughing.
“Calm down, Sis.”
“Hey, everyone, forgive me for acting like a fool, but this here is my oldest sister, Brenda. I can’t believe you’re here. How?” Brenda, a thirtyish-looking woman with curvy hips and a thick physique, points at Scottie.
“Scottie!” Dani laughs and throws her arms around his neck and plants kisses on his cheek.
“That’s the surprise I was working on. One of the reasons I was saving my dollars so I could make this happen. I kept hearing you talk about your family. I sneaked and got their number from your phone and set up flying in Brenda and Chana.”
“Excuse my rudeness. This other chick is Chana. She’s two years older than me, and Brenda is four years older.”
“Oh, wow, y’all look so much alike,” Vette says. She gets out of her seat to shake the sisters’ hands and goes to pull out additional chairs so they can join the table.
“This is such a surprise. I still can’t believe it. I just don’t know what to say.”
“Ha-ha.” Vette laughs. “This girl is in shock and, believe me, that’s a rare thing to see.”
Scottie takes a seat next to his mom and looks around the table, then at the food. “Hey, is anybody gonna serve a brother? I’m hungry as hell.”
Dani excuses herself and grabs some extra dinner plates for Scottie and her sisters.
“Brenda, girl, it’s been so long. How’s Ma? I wish she could have been here. I tried to call her, but she hasn’t answered. Have you talked to her?”
“Girl, calm down,” Brenda answers.
“You all have no idea. When Dani is around her family, she gets real excited.”
“And, girl,” Chana speaks up, “we’ve been excited to get all the dirt from your boyfriend. On the way from the airport, he’s been telling us all your business.”
“He’d better not.” Dani pouts. “Oh, baby, you’re so good to me.” She covers her hands with her face and closes her eyes. Everyone at the table hushes. It’s kind of a cool moment. I don’t exactly care for the girl, but no matter how awful a person is, she is still someone’s sister or daughter. She deserves to have her family around regardless of my issues with her.
“No, really. I’m just so happy. I …”
“And which of these dishes did you contribute?” Brenda asks.
“Shut up, Bren. You’re pushing it now.”
“Oh, you gonna do something about it? Huh? Remember how I’d beat up your little skinny behind when we were kids. Remember that?”
“Damn straight I remember. Because of you, I had to learn how to fight.”
Brenda throws back her head and laughs. “Yep, ’cause before then, only thing my sister could do to save herself was to scream for Ma. I’d be pulling on her hair, pushing her on the bed, and what would Dani the baby girl do, Chana?”
“Ma! Help! Ma! Help!” Chana and Brenda burst out laughing. Brenda frowns at Dani, then points at the dining room doorway.
Dani looks up and lets out a piercing scream. “Ma!”
— 14 —
DANI
Scottie’s Ultimate Surprise
I know I see what I’m seeing, yet I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I take one look at my precious mommy and can’t help myself.
Instead of getting up and saying hello, helping her to her seat, all that, I merely sit in my chair and release the tears that have played with my emotions ever since I saw my sisters come into the house this afternoon.
“Girl, you weren’t raised right,” Chana smirks. She takes over, leading our mother into a seat right next to me. My heart is bursting with love, joy, sadness, so many things.
Snot slides down my nose. Brax runs and gets me some tissues and tries to wipe my nostrils.