by Lara Swann
“What happened to your cheek?”
His anger had started shifting towards concern, but there was an accusatory tone in his voice as he frowned and stepped forward to try and tilt my head into the light. I jerked back, cursing myself for not being able to cover it properly. I thought about lying about it - then the fact I was considering renewed my feeling of shame. I wasn’t one of those girls - I didn’t go out places and lie to my father about where I’d been or what I’d done. Instead, I bit my lip, and couldn’t quite meet his eye.
“It’s fine. We…I was mugged - but it’s fine. Nothing happened, Seth scared the guy off and got our stuff back.”
The memory of that made my body heat again - the intense emotions coupled with Seth’s arms around me, the fiercely controlled look in his eyes as he dealt with it with a competence that had shocked me, making me feel safe and protected in a way I’d never known.
I shook my head to get the images out of my mind as my father just stared at me. For once, he might have been speechless. For a moment.
“Just where were you, Annabelle?!”
My flush deepened and I found myself growing annoyed with the whole conversation - I really didn’t want to give my father a list of my mistakes. I wanted to find the safety of my room, collapse on my bed, and give up on the world. Why couldn’t he just let me do that?
“We went to San Francisco.”
I hated how small my voice sounded, but I honestly had nothing in me to justify the trip. His uncomfortable stare only intensified.
“What?! Why?”
I opened my mouth to reply, and then realized I had nothing I could say. I’d wanted to come back from this trip with a solid case for my plans and ideas - something to impress and convince him. Now…I had nothing. And the last thing I could do was admit any of that. Instead, I just shrugged, feeling defeated as my hopes came crashing down around me. He looked at me for a moment, as if expecting me to say more, before shaking his head with such a look of bitter disappointment my stomach sank down to my feet.
“I don’t understand you, Annabelle. I thought you were better than this complete irresponsibility - just the other day you were trying to claim you’re ready to stop studying. I think you need to spend some time considering your actions - and I don’t want you leaving again while you do so.”
The need to scream in frustration overtook me. For the first time in a long, long time I felt the urge to scream and swear at him. To storm off to my room and slam the door shut. To prove every doubt he ever had about me. My teeth were gritted hard and in horror I felt my eyes prickling with hot moisture. My hand clenched the banister tightly enough I wondered if my fingernails would gauge the fine dark wood.
Instead I took a deep breath, nodded and turned to the stairs, everything inside me quietly shattering. I thought he might stop me, add something else to wreck me completely, but he didn’t. I felt his hard eyes on me the length of the stairs, and I paused when I was finally out into the upper hallway, waiting for the relief to come. It didn’t.
I escaped into my room as I heard Cora’s inquiring voice below, the small part of me still feeling anything glad that she hadn’t been around for that altercation. I drew the curtains closed, shutting out the cheery morning sun, and tucked myself up under the covers. It was childish, but I didn’t care.
Not leaving sounded just fine by me. If I never left this room again it would be too soon.
I let the twisted, confused turmoil of it all take me and finally gave into the tears threatening my eyes. This time, there was no one to catch me as I fell.
Chapter Eleven
Bella
“Babe, seriously - time to stop moping.”
I glared across at Kaylee’s easy smile as she gave me a light thump on the shoulder, already regretting allowing myself to be dragged from the nice den of self-pity I’d built up. The sun seemed too bright, the day too cheerful for my mood. And Kaylee wasn’t helping.
“C’mon, rage, yell, curse, scream - we can do whatever you like. There’s not even anyone around to hear it. But for god’s sake, stop being so damned tedious.”
I felt like yelling at her, but I clamped down on it.
Why had I thought it would be good to invite her around?
Except I hadn’t exactly invited her round. She’d called and announced it was time to get me out of my funk. I’d only been in it for a couple of days, but that was too long for her lively schedule. Apparently she wanted to do things this summer. Not that I could do anything right now anyway - I was confined to the house. Or rather, it’s extensive property. But still, at twenty-one, that smarted.
“You’re meant to be my friend, Kay.”
I grumbled at her ineffectually.
“This is being your friend.”
I flopped back on the grass and closed my eyes - our usual haunt next to the pool forsaken as apparently staring blindly into endless sparkling waters wasn’t good for me at the moment.
“I’ve been mugged before, you know.”
She continued in her easy, chattering tone, the topic waking the emotions that had gone to ground within me, even as her singsong voice made me feel like sleeping under the warm sun. I’d done a lot of sleeping the last couple of days.
“And I didn’t have a hot Navy SEAL to save me either - had to do it the hard way, dragging my ass to a police station, filing reports, claims…ugh, the tedium might have been worse than the attack, actually. Think the guy was on something too, didn’t really have a clue what he was doing…was lucky he wasn’t interested in more, come to think of it.”
I could hardly believe she was talking about something like that so casually, but my mouth quirked anyway as I thought about how that situation had probably gone down. One eye opened to take in her profile.
“And then I bet your father bought you replacements for anything you lost, right?”
She grinned lazily at me.
“Yeah - took me out for ice cream, too.”
The image of Seth and I battling over ice cream flickered across my mind, and I almost groaned.
Why the hell couldn’t he leave me alone?!
Mentally, that was. Physically, I hadn’t seen him since that night. He hadn’t come to dinner, and I’d hated him all the more for getting that option. Or taking it, anyway. Our parents had murmured disapprovingly, but he wasn’t the kind of guy to care.
“So, you know, it happens. And yeah it takes some time to get over, but you do that by ignoring the fear. Otherwise they’ve won.”
It was a bundle of mixed metaphors, and Kaylee was really missing the point. It wasn’t the mugging that had upset me. Of course, I hadn’t said a word about that awkward night, so it wasn’t very fair to blame her for getting it wrong. But I wasn’t in the mood to be fair, either.
“I’m not scared, Kay. I’m…”
I had no clue what I was. Nothing good. I was lost. Confused, with no idea where to go from here. But, interestingly, her immediate assumption was afraid. I guessed maybe that was common after a mugging, but Seth had so thoroughly overwhelmed any of those feelings that I couldn’t even imagine it. I supposed I should be grateful for that, but I was done feeling what I was supposed to.
“Still smarting over the whole thing with your father?”
Kaylee’s guess was still off, but closer. I groaned, not wanting to bring up that picture again.
“Fuck, Kay. Do we have to do this?! You honestly think going through all the reasons I feel crappy is going to help?”
Her glance turned amused and I shook my head. This wasn’t what I needed, even if there was something comforting in her familiar attitude.
“You’re right, babe, sorry. Next idea - time to break open the pool bar!”
I looked at her dubiously as she jumped up, shading my eyes with my hand as I tried to gauge the time. It couldn’t be more than mid-afternoon.
“At this time?!”
“C’mon, Bella. Getting flat out drunk will do wonders for your perspective, I promise.”
“That also does wonders for perspective. Nothing looks quite so important when you’re off your face - or quite so bad when compared to the day after.”
Her enthusiastic voice spoke of great experience with this. That really shouldn’t be a convincing argument, but for once completely losing my senses seemed like a good idea.
I needed something to get the taste of Seth’s heady male scent off my lips, to get the feel of his arms around me off my back, and to forget about him entirely. If I had to forget about the world to do it, so be it. I was done being miserable. Damn her for being right.
“Alright. I’m in.”
I forced myself up, and for the first time in two days, gave a small smile. What was it about Kaylee that always did this to me?
She didn’t give me a chance to change my mind, catching my hand and dragging me back to the pool area.
After stocking up on more than I thought we could possibly consume in a week, let alone an afternoon, she tugged me in the other direction again.
“Let’s head down to the beach - it’s a perfect day to lie by the sea and bum around.”
Chapter Twelve
Seth
When I finally slowed, my breath was coming sharp and fast, blood pounding hard through my body. I reveled in the hard beat of it, the way it almost drowned out other thoughts and feelings. The night air was cooler than it had been the last few days, coming off the sea with a tang of salt, but it didn’t provide much relief from the intense 10 mile run.
Which in turn, wasn’t providing much relief from the unshakable aching need still feeling ready to explode within me. I paused where the road disappeared into private beaches, before cursing and walking on anyway, swinging my overly energetic limbs as I started cooling down. This was Terence’s land - least he could do was give me a chance to pause and watch the stormy waters.
My stomach still coiled at the thought of being back here - and of who would be oh-so-close. I’d stayed far enough away since dropping Bella back, and I had no intention to change that - I’d just wanted to run along the coast in a nicer place for once. I’d abandoned dinner and ignored the few messages my mother had left for me - right now, I wasn’t sure I could even face the wedding, let alone making nice with a ‘family’ I had no desire to be part of.
I ran a hand through my short hair as my mind replayed that disaster of an evening again. Part of me still felt I should have continued, showed her how much she needed that undeniable lust - but I’d promised myself I wouldn’t hurt her again. I couldn’t do that to her if she couldn’t handle it being just that one last time.
One last time…
The back of my mind doubted whether even I could have dealt with that, but I ignored it. All I’d wanted was to get her out of my head. Instead, I’d wound myself up to the point I could think of nothing else. Even working out and training with my buddies back at base didn’t do anything for me. Didn’t help that most had places to go, people to spend time with in the precious moments they were home. I couldn’t begrudge them that, but…I found myself doing so anyway.
With a sigh, I sat on one of the dunes, looking out at the stormy waters that seemed to match my mood tonight.
The waves broke the glittering light of the moon as the rushing of waves covered any other sound. My eyes scanned the beach automatically, but it was empty, the pier desolate against the dark backdrop. Suited me perfectly. If it wasn’t for the girl in her fine manor behind me, anyway.
The jagged start-up of an engine cut through my thoughts and I glanced up with a frown. It sounded like…
A boat.
My eyes shot to the pier and I thought I made out a couple of flickering lights. Jumping up, I started walking towards it. I knew there was a small motorboat there that Terence no doubt used to ferry people to his yacht sitting a mile or so further out, but surely no one would be crazy enough to try and steal it? They weren’t exactly the most subtle of things.
That sound was definitely the boat though, and I could hear it ramping up as it darted across the rough waves. It wasn’t even the kind of night for this.
I started running, heading for the pier as I tried to make out what was going on. The moon couldn’t compete with the blackness of the water, and whoever was driving that thing wasn’t using much light. My suspicions intensified and I came up hard on the pier, catching glimpses of it skipping across the tumultuous waves.
It was jig-jagging kind of crazily in the rough direction of the yacht, and my brow furrowed, adrenaline already pumping though me.
What the hell—
A sudden gust of wind carried a giggle over to me and my blood froze.
Fuck no.
I stared, disbelieving, as its movements became halting, a couple of hard waves buffeting it. It was only a little boat…
“Stop! Come back!”
I found myself yelling ineffectually, waving my arms even as I knew they wouldn’t hear or see me over the roar of the engine in their ears, the loud crash of the angry sea around them - not even that command voice.
Fucking stupid idiots. What the hell did they think they were doing?!
Another wave crashed into them and I heard a sudden scream cut off abruptly. I could barely see anything, my eyes squinting against the saltwater spray, but I knew what had happened.
That same scream had shot through me only a few days ago.
And then I was moving, no more time for anything else. I was stripped down to my boxers in a heartbeat, and the dive was born of practice - long, solid strokes moving me quickly through the water.
Even so, I didn’t know whether it would be enough. They were quite far out, and my heart was counting every beat from when I’d heard that shrill cry. My mind flashed pictures of the sharp blades of the motor, the harsh movement of the sea and the impact that would have blood discoloring the waters around us.
Fuck no.
Fucking stupid fucking girl.
The mental diatribe died as soon as I got close enough to see, eyes not caring about the stinging pain from forcing them open. The motorboat was larger than I’d thought - but so were the waves. I worked with them the way only months of training can do, splitting through them with no effort, as my gaze immediately took in the wild-eyed girl leaning against the edge - holding onto the rope from a lifebuoy bobbing unhelpfully a few meters from the boat. She was calling out, yelling frantically, and I didn’t think she’d seen me, but I ignored her as I tread water in the waves and scanned the rough sea around us.
I couldn’t see anything and I fought a moment’s panic, cursing myself as I did so. I never panicked. It didn’t happen.
The crashing waves were distorting any possible sign of disturbance and my heart was pounding from far more than the physical exertion it took to get here.
Fuck.
Something surfaced across from me and I was moving instantly, diving for the sinking flash of white, eyes wide open as I peered into the murky water. Then I my gaze latched on and I kicked out hard, moving towards Bella as she struggled ineffectually in the water. My arms closed around her waist and I propelled us back up, letting out an inner breath of relief even as I fought to keep our heads above the water. She was fighting me as much as the water but I didn’t bother wasting breath telling her to stop - her eyes were glazed over and I doubted she’d hear even at this close distance.
I cast around for the buoy and saw it floating dangerously close to the back of the boat, the rope almost getting caught in the motor. The damned girl in the boat didn’t seem to have a clue, and was still looking madly around for Bella.
Another wave hit the boat and she almost toppled in as well, leaning over the side as she was. It righted the buoy though, and I grabbed onto it as it slung around the side, pulling it over Bella’s head and clinging onto it myself.
That had Bella’s friend looking up, shock coming over her expression as she saw me - but at least she was quick-witted enough to recove
r and start tugging on the rope immediately. Nothing happened, and I realized even with the water helping, she didn’t have the strength to drag us both back in. I was still worried about the motor and the waves tossing the boat around, and stopped letting it support me - pushing it forward instead with a few hard strokes of my legs.
We made it to the edge well enough, and with me holding on and lifting Bella up to her, the girl was able to drag them both back into the center of the boat. She was quick enough to jump up and head back to me, but I was already hauling myself over the side, my mass shaking the boat a little, but it held steady.
Bella was coughing and sputtering on the hard wooden floor, and my focus narrowed to that one point. My senses were working well enough I knew the other girl was hovering between Bella and I, unsure what to do, and I caught the heavy smell of alcohol.
Damn fucking stupid girls.
The small part of me outside pure rationality redoubled it’s rage, but this wasn’t the time or place.
“What—”
The question was cut off as she evidently realized getting out of my way was the best idea. I knelt over Bella where she was still coughing up water. That she was conscious was a good sign, but I wasn’t taking anything for granted as I checked her over, rubbing her back and pressing down to encourage the liquid out of her lungs. She’d started shivering - big racking motions that had me concerned, and I did a quick check of her extremities. The water wasn’t freezing this time of year, but the alcohol had already reduced her body temperature, and the shock had probably tipped her over.
The boat had slipped side-on to the next wave that crashed down around us, water pooling in the center of the boat. I grabbed for Bella, refusing to let the rocking motion dislodge us, but cursed as I glanced over at the motor - with the other girl next to me, it had been abandoned. We needed to get back, and get Bella warm and dry.
Reluctantly, I looked up at her friend, who was watching me - the glazed look in her eyes punctuated by shock and fear. At least it made her a little more alert.
“I need to drive the boat back.”