Further To Fall

by Catherine Cowles

  I swallowed against the pain in my throat and mouthed, “What happened?” My entire body stiffened as memories came flooding back: packing up, and then Kyle. My head suddenly snapped around, causing pain to ricochet down my spine.

  “Baby, calm down. You’re safe.” Austin crouched next to the bed, but it was the whine that came from behind him that put me at ease.

  My shoulders slumped in relief. “Blue.” It came out as a hoarse whisper.

  “Blue’s fine, Firecracker. Helped you take that fucker down. Never been prouder in my life.”

  A small smile touched my lips as I squeezed Austin’s hand. Blue’s face popped up over the edge of the bed, and Austin lifted our joined hands to rest on the top of his head, Blue’s tail thumping against Austin’s leg. I tipped up my face to Austin. “How is he allowed in here?” I whispered.

  Austin grinned. “At first, we pretended he was a service dog. Then, Liam and I might have pulled the celebrity card.”

  I started to giggle, but pain radiated throughout my chest, causing me to gasp. Austin straightened, pressing a button on my bed. “Careful, baby. Just breathe. Slow, shallow breaths.” I did as he instructed. The pain in my chest eased, but the pain on Austin’s face did not.

  I squeezed his hand as fiercely as I could and mouthed, “I love you.”

  “Fuck, Firecracker, I love you so damn much.” He bent down and pressed his lips to my forehead. The contact was warm and firm, reassuring me that everything really would be okay. “Never been so scared in my life. I thought I was going to lose you.” He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were glistening.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, then smiled just a little. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

  Austin just shook his head. The door to my room swung open, and an older gentleman in a white lab coat entered, followed by a woman in blue scrubs and my mom. I blinked back tears as I breathed, “Mom?”

  She rushed to my other side. “Oh, baby, I was so worried. I’m so glad you’re awake. Does anything hurt? Can I get you anything?”

  Austin cut in, staunching my mom’s verbal flood. “Her throat hurts from the breathing tube, not sure about what else.”

  “Oh, then don’t talk, honey.”

  Lab coat guy, who was clearly my doctor, thumbed through my chart. “Hello, Miss McCarthy, I’m Dr. Stevens. Glad to see you awake. We did have to put a tube in your throat to help you breathe, but that’s been out for the past few hours, so the pain should fade soon. I’m going to ask you a few questions, but you can just answer them by nodding.” The doctor turned to Austin and my mom. “Now would be a good time to grab a cup of coffee. I’ll need to do an examination, and the nurse and I will change her bandages.”

  I stiffened at the idea of Austin leaving. He squeezed my hand. “I’ll be right outside.” He turned to the doctor, piercing him with the same intimidating stare he had given the fighters he faced in the octagon. “I think it would be good if her mom stayed while you examine her, make her more comfortable, don’t you think?” Austin’s eyes narrowed with his last few words.

  Dr. Stevens fumbled with the papers he was holding. “Sure, that would be fine if it’s what Miss McCarthy prefers.”

  I nodded, and my mom ran a soft hand over my hair. Austin leaned over and pressed a kiss to my brow. “Be back as soon as they’re done.” He rose, snapping his fingers, and Blue followed him out. Apparently, those two had bonded during the time I was lights-out.

  “He hasn’t left your side other than to go to the restroom or talk to the police. Love that you have that kind of love, baby.” God, I loved my mom. Loved that she immediately saw through Austin’s gruff exterior and got how well he loved me.

  She straightened as the doctor launched into an explanation of all that had happened to me, medically speaking. He poked and prodded, assessing my injuries and checking the stitches, and he also ordered another round of pain meds that he said would make me sleepy, but that rest was the best thing for me at the moment. I grimaced at the thought of losing more time, but my chest and head were aching so badly, I quickly nodded in agreement.

  The doctor excused himself, and as soon as he hit the threshold of the room, Austin’s face appeared in the doorway. He scooted around the doctor, who gave a disapproving look to the dog trailing behind him, and then made his way back to my bedside. “Everything go okay?”

  My mom answered for me. “Everything looks good. They ordered up some more pain meds that will most likely make her sleep, but the doctor said that’s what’s best right now. I’m going to go find your dad and tell him you’re awake.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” My voice was a little stronger already, and it didn’t hurt quite so much to talk.

  “Of course, honey.” She was smiling, but tears were gathering in her eyes. “I’m just so glad you’re okay.” With that, she hustled out of the room.

  I tilted my face towards Austin. “How long was I out?”

  His expression darkened, and I instantly regretted asking. “Almost thirty-six hours. Longest day and a half of my life.”

  I figured I should get all the unpleasant topics out of the way now, so I asked, “What happened to Kyle?”

  Austin’s expression went weird, and he said, “Why don’t we wait and talk about that when you’re feeling better?” My body went on alert. Was he not in jail? Did he somehow get out on bail? Reading my panic, Austin sat on the side of my bed and cupped the cheek that wasn’t throbbing. “Everything’s okay. He’s never going to hurt you again, all right?”

  “I need to know what happened, it’s scarier not knowing.”

  Austin closed his eyes, and when he opened them, they were full of uncertainty. “The police took him into custody at the house. After they brought him in, they searched his apartment and found a closet full of scrapbooks. You’re not the only girl he’s stalked. There were notebooks dedicated to at least ten other women. There was a clear pattern of escalation with each victim, but you are the first victim where he turned violent.” A shudder ran through me.

  Austin squeezed my hand. “The police presented some of the evidence to him and his lawyer yesterday evening.” He paused, sucking in a breath. “Baby, last night, he hung himself in his jail cell.” I blinked up at Austin, having no words. Of all the things I’d thought he might say, that was nowhere on my radar. The only feeling I could muster up was relief, which immediately turned to guilt about feeling that way. Tears started to gather in the corners of my eyes. “Baby, breathe nice and slow for me.”

  “I-I-I hate that all I feel is relief.” I was fighting the tears, knowing that if I gave in to the sobs, I would be in tremendous pain.

  Austin leaned down, expression fierce as he got right in my face. “You should feel relief, and you’re not going to beat yourself up about that. I feel relief. He was a sick fuck, and this world is a better place without him in it. That is not a kind of sickness you can heal, baby. As long as he was in this world, you would have been at risk, and I am not down with that. So, he’s gone, and I’m happy about that.”

  I sniffled, but the tears eased. “I love you, Austin.”

  “Love hearing those words from you, Firecracker.” He kissed the corner of my mouth farthest away from my stitches.

  As he rose, the nurse bustled in with a syringe in hand. “Here we go, this should have you feeling better in no time.” She slid the needle into my IV, and a minute later, my eyelids were drooping.

  “Get me out of here!” I was whining, it was unattractive, and I didn’t give a flip. I had been in the hospital for a week now, and I was going stir-crazy.

  “Calm down, Firecracker, the doc said there was a good chance it could happen today.” Austin was reclining precariously in a plastic chair, feet resting on my hospital bed. He had stayed by my side for the past seven days, refusing to go home.

  My parents, who were staying at his house, brought him a fresh change of clothes each day, and he showered in the bathroom attached to my hospital room. The staf
f took pity on him and rolled in a cot that he could sleep on. Once I was doing better, Blue got the boot, my parents taking him home to Austin’s house.

  My room looked like a florist shop with arrangements from family, friends, and co-workers. Not to mention a ridiculously large teddy bear that Liam and Ford had brought for me, which Blue had proceeded to hump. My room was a revolving door of visitors. Taylor had even flown in for a day, saying that she’d needed to see with her own two eyes that I was doing okay.

  While I was unbelievably appreciative of all the love my family and friends had shown, and everything the doctors had done to help me, I needed out of this hospital. The stitches in my lip had been removed yesterday, and the ones along my ribs could come out in another week. I was ready to go home, well…to my new home.

  My parents had taken the news of me moving in with Austin surprisingly well. Once the police had cleared the scene at my old house, my mom had set to work finishing what I had started, packing up all my belongings. Austin had hired movers, and all my things were now waiting to be unpacked at his house.

  I twisted in my hospital bed. “I’m ready to go home.”

  A grin stretched across Austin’s face at my calling his house home. “I’m ready for us to go home too, but not before the doctor says it’s okay. I don’t want your lung collapsing again.” That was the big concern, and why I’d had to stay in the hospital for so long. I had been instructed that even once I was released, I’d have to take it easy for a few weeks.

  “I’ll stay in bed and let you wait on me hand and foot if I can just get out of this hospital. I want food that doesn’t taste like cardboard, and a bed that doesn’t feel like it’s a slab of concrete,” I said, giving Austin my best puppy-dog face.

  He shook his head and came up to a sitting position. “Don’t give me that look. We do what the doctor says.”

  “Oh, fine, but I won’t be held responsible if I lose it on some poor, unsuspecting nurse who brings me another container of Jell-O.”

  Austin chuckled and bent down to sweep his lips across mine. “How about, if you don’t get out of here tonight, I’ll see if I can get approval to bring in some outside food? I’ll have Liam pick up all your favorites from Little Dom’s.”

  I leaned up just a bit, my ribs protesting slightly at the movement, and brought my lips to his. “You are an angel sent from Heaven above.” I kissed him again. “Sorry I’m being such a shrew, I think I have cabin fever.”

  Austin tucked my hair behind my ear. Letting his fingers travel down my neck, he squeezed it gently. “I know. I’d be going crazy too if I was stuck in that bed. We’ll get you home soon.”

  “We’ll get you home now, actually,” my mom called from the doorway. “I just talked to Dr. Stevens, and he’s signing your discharge paperwork as we speak!”

  I let my head fall back against the scratchy pillows. “Hallelujah!”

  Both my mom and Austin laughed. “She’s not the best patient, is she?” my mom asked.

  “It’s not her strong suit,” Austin replied.

  “She never was, even when she was a toddler.”

  “All right, you two, no ganging up on the invalid,” I interrupted.

  My mom crossed to my bed and cupped my cheek. “Okay, I’ll let you off easy this time. I sent your father to bring the car around. Austin, will you see if there’s a cart or something we can use to haul all these flowers downstairs?”

  Austin looked to me and then to the door. “Sure thing, Mrs. McCarthy. You’ll stay with Carter until I’m back?”

  “Now, I told you, call me Sheila. Mrs. McCarthy is my mother-in-law. And, of course, I’ll stay with Carter.”

  “All right, Sheila, I’ll see what I can find.” Austin strode toward the door, and I stared at his butt the whole way.

  My mom cleared her throat, and my eyes shot to her, a sheepish smile on my face. “I don’t blame you, he does have a nice booty.”

  “Mom! Don’t look at my boyfriend’s butt, and definitely, don’t say ‘booty.’”

  “I’m married, not dead, Carter.” I choked on a laugh that still made my chest ache but not nearly as bad as it had a few days ago. My mom brushed invisible strands of hair away from my face. “How are you feeling, baby? And I don’t mean your stitches.”

  My mom and I hadn’t had any true alone time for her to assess her daughter’s mental state. I squeezed her hand. “I honestly feel okay right now. I mean, I hate that this happened, for me, for Austin, for you and Dad, even for Kyle. But I don’t feel scared anymore.”

  “I’m glad you don’t, baby. But I want you to talk to me or Austin or your dad if you start feeling overwhelmed by everything that happened.”

  “I will. Promise,” I said. Her head popped up as the rattling of wheels sounded outside my door.

  Austin came in wielding what looked like a room service cart. “This was the best I could do, borrowed it from one of the candy stripers.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “I’m sure that made her day.”

  Austin’s cheeks pinked just the slightest bit. “I think I may have scared her, honestly. All she seemed to be able to do was nod and push the cart at me.”

  My mom stifled her own giggle as she rose. “Well, I’ll start loading up flowers, and we’ll get out of here.”

  “Woohoo!” I made a small victory motion with my arms.

  Austin prowled toward my bed. “Careful with your ribs, Firecracker.”

  “Yes, oh overprotective one—” My words were cut off by Austin’s swift kiss.

  46

  Carter

  I sighed as I soaked in the feel of Austin’s ridiculously soft sheets. I was so happy to be home. It was a few days after I’d been released from the hospital, and Austin and I were lounging in his bed—I guess our bed now—watching movies. My dad had left that morning, needing to get back to take care of my grandmother, but my mom was sticking around, knowing that I was hoping to convince Austin he could go back to work. I knew the gym and his fighters suffered when he wasn’t around. Plus, I couldn’t stop thinking about what my mom had said the day after I’d gotten home.

  “I’m worried about that boy, Carter.”

  Any trace of my laughter died. “What do you mean? Why?”

  She sat on the edge of my bed. “Finding you the way he did, it’s marked him. I see the way he doesn’t want you out of his sight. He hesitated to leave just now even though it will be for less than five minutes. You two can’t live the rest of your lives attached to each other’s hips.”

  I toyed with the edge of the blanket on my bed. I could see what my mom meant. The truth was, the first day when I woke up in the hospital, it was rocky. I didn’t want Austin to leave my side. From the moment our friendship began, I’d always felt safe with him. But once I found out that Kyle was gone and was able to wrap my head around all that had happened, I relaxed. Austin was not relaxing. I turned my eyes toward my mom. “What can I do?”

  She gave me a soft smile. “You’re doing a lot of it already. Just seeing you rally, seeing how strong you are, that this hasn’t broken you… Hopefully, over time, that will help him let go of all that happened. Not that he’ll ever forget. I’m not sure he ever will, but hopefully, it will allow him to ease up a little bit. You can also get Liam and Ford to help you by getting them to invite him to do something out of the house and then encourage him to go. And, most importantly, you can be there for him when he needs to unload about how all of this has affected him.”

  I nodded. “Once I’m settled, I’ll try talking to him.”

  My mom squeezed my hand. “He’s lucky to have you, Carter.”

  With that conversation in mind, I paused the movie and rolled onto my side to face Austin. “You okay, Firecracker? Need me to get you anything?”

  “I’m fine, but I want to talk to you about something.”

  Austin’s expression went guarded. “What’s up?”

  I reached out and twined my fingers with his. �
��I love having you with me, but I know you have responsibilities at the gym, and I don’t want you to fall behind because you’re taking care of me. My mom’s here for the next week so you can go into work.”

  Austin’s eyes searched mine even as his jaw tightened. “The gym will be fine without me for a few weeks. I don’t want to leave you right now.”

  Tentatively, I pressed. “You could just go in for an hour or two. That way, there’s not so much to catch up on when you do go back.”

  His jaw got even harder, and he slipped his hand from my hold. “You trying to get rid of me?”

  I sat up, ignoring the pain in my side. “No! I love having you with me. I just don’t want you to be afraid of leaving because, eventually, that will have to happen.”

  Austin rolled off the bed. “Well, it doesn’t have to happen right this damn second.” I bit my lip but said nothing as he paced the room, his body strung tight. Then he whirled toward me, bellowing, “He almost fucking killed you!” Austin’s chest heaved, and I said nothing. He continued more softly, his voice full of barely restrained emotion. “He could have killed you, and I just left you there, all alone.”

  I knew he was carrying guilt, but I had no idea it ran this deep. I eased from the bed and crept towards Austin. Slowly, so slowly, I raised my hands, cupping the sides of his face. “Baby, I was not alone.” He started to argue, but I put a finger over his lips. “I was not alone. I had Blue, a dog you gave me. I had my self-defense training, tools you taught me. And when I had to draw upon my courage to fight back, do you know what I did? I pictured your face. So, I was never alone. You were with me every step of the way.”

  His body shuddered beneath my hands. “I love you, Firecracker. Will till the end of my days.” His arms slipped around me.