by Raina Wilde
“Sabrina, I’m really…” he stopped when she covered his mouth with her hand.
“Please, stop saying that.” She instructed. “I’m alive today because you were brave enough… don’t shake your head at me… because you were brave enough to rush into a burning building, pull me from the debris and carry me to safety. Don’t belittle what, in my opinion, is the greatest miracle of my life. Yes, I lost everything else, but I should have died that day and you gave me back my life.”
She felt as if she were lecturing a child. It was apparent that Charlie did not want to delve further into the discussion. Sabrina had said her piece and she was not going to push him further, yet. She knew from experience that all the explanation in the world would not help someone overcome the crippling pain that comes from too many lives lost. In time, she hoped that Charlie would be able to see the successes over the failures.
Sabrina stepped back and reverted her tone to the lighthearted banter that they had shared prior to this conversation.
“I won’t bring it up again.” She made a motion of locking her lips and throwing away the key. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be back down here by the pool with a book. In the afternoon, I plan on going scuba diving. My best friend had to bail on the vacation so if you’d care to join me for any of those activities I would welcome the company. Have a good night, Mr. Thompson.”
Sabrina walked away with a confidence that belied the nerves that rolled in her stomach. She had never expected that the man who had saved her life would see it as anything other than a wonderful rescue. She was determined to show him the truth. It would take time, she thought, but if she could convince him to spend some time with her she knew he would come around. Maybe, she thought, the man who had saved her needed a little bit of saving himself.
The following morning Sabrina was disappointed to discover that Charlie did not join her in reading outdoors. She had thought that perhaps their mutual enjoyment of books would encourage him to spend some personal time with her. She was just beginning to pack up her things when he flopped onto the lounge chair beside her, placed his hands beneath his head and crossed his ankles as if he had been sitting there all day.
Sabrina watched her own reflection in the silvery sunglasses that covered his eyes. She acknowledged his swim trunks, deck shoes, t-shirt, and the towel slung nonchalantly about his neck. She raised an eyebrow and when the barest hint of a smile broke over his features she knew that he was, indeed, watching her.
“I hope you were serious about scuba diving.” He smiled more fully. “It’s one of my favorite things.”
“I’ve never been.” She admitted, pulling the zipper closed on her oversized bag.
“Oh, you’re in for a treat!” He jumped up with an energy that she had not yet seen from him and pulled her to her feet. The excitement that radiated from his body was more in line with the type of go-get-‘em personality that she had expected from someone with an adrenaline-based career. “Are you ready?” Charlie proffered a hand, clearly any discomfort from the night before had been put behind them. Sabrina nodded and placed her hand in his, allowing him to pull her along toward the docks. His excitement was contagious. She found herself nearly giddy with anticipation, knowing full well that she would enjoy this much more than had she attempted the experience alone.
Diving had been everything that Charlie had promised it to be. Sabrina had never seen so many beautiful colors of plant and wildlife. Charlie had quickly discovered that Sabrina had never attempted many of the attractions that the islands had to offer. The next four days were spent as a pair trying any new activity that they could sign up for including jet skis, parasailing, deep sea fishing, and guided tours on kayaks and ATVs.
They were so busy that they ended up spending nearly every moment of daylight together, finishing with a meal before separating to rest for the following day. Sabrina found that she was truly enjoying her vacation. She suspected that Charlie was as well. His serious nature would disappear for large portions of the day, leaving Sabrina wondering what it would have been like to know him before his cynical outlook had taken hold.
They had gotten to know each other very well during the course of all of these activities. Though they never directly addressed Charlie’s career, he did not withhold any other information about his personal life. Unlike Sabrina, Charlie was not an only child. He had two brothers and a sister that he spoke about as if they were his best friends. When he told stories of his enormous, close-knit family Sabrina felt a pang of longing for that unique comfort that she had been missing in recent years.
Their bond had grown steadily despite efforts on both parts to maintain a platonic friendship. Sabina found her skin tingling in any small place where his hand may have lingered. She found herself both wishing for, and dreading, the physical contact that rarely occurred between them.
On the fifth evening, they were returning from one of their adventures when Sabrina realized that she had no desire for the night to end. The nervous fluttering of her heart told her that she was beginning to care for this man, something she had never anticipated in all of her imaginings of their meeting. She truly liked him, as a person, as a man. While she was certain that he enjoyed her company, Sabrina was unsure if Charlie would reciprocate her desire to take their relationship further. She was, Sabrina reminded herself, the literal embodiment of all the demons that he carried. She smoothed a hand over her stomach, adjusting the dress that was twisted from the night breeze.
When he placed a hand on the small of her back to lead her out of the restaurant she straightened her shoulders and decided that it was a chance that she was willing to take. They followed their usual path across the lush courtyard. The scent of exotic flowers was heavy in the air. Sabrina moved slowly down the winding pathway. Charlie kept pace with her, apparently unaware of her dawdling.
Up ahead was a small, enclosed pergola that overlooked an expansive koi pond. Sabrina had observed it the day before but had decided not to enter because the setting had seemed too intimate at the time. Now, she stepped through the ivied archway and across the stone patio. She stopped when she was leaning against a high stone wall, looking down at the gentle, but enormous, fish below. Their brilliant colors and patterned scales glittered in the moonlight as Charlie came to pause beside her. He mimicked her posture, leaning with his elbows on the wall to glance down into the water.
They were not touching but Sabrina felt as if there were a kinetic energy that pulsed in the mere inches between their arms. She had never initiated anything with a man. Her experience in this department had been severely limited after the fire, mostly because of her own hesitations. She glanced sideways at the man beside her. His skin had darkened in the recent days, the glow of the tan smoothing his angular features. It occurred to Sabrina that she had already memorized every detail of his face, that subconsciously she had been watching him more than even she had realized. Her heart pounded in her chest. This time, she knew with absolute certainty, there would be no hesitation.
She might have made a noise, or maybe he had sensed her gaze, but Charlie turned to her at that moment with a look in his gray eyes that Sabrina had never seen before. Her breath caught in her throat. She might have called the look desire; his contracting pupils and intense gaze surely fit the description, yet there was something about it that was too gentle to match that description. Sabrina dared not put a name to it. She was afraid that he might be seeing the same expression mirrored on her own face.
They turned toward each other instinctively, their bodies aligned but not touching. Sabrina released a shallow breath that quivered slightly as it crossed her lips. Her hair tickled the skin on her shoulders as the breeze ran through it. Before she realized that he had moved, Charlie’s fingers were tucking the dark strands behind her ear. When he began to withdraw his hand Sabrina covered it with her own, holding his palm against her skin. She met his gaze without blinking before stepping forward to close the space between them. Each breath that she took caused her sensitive breast
s to brush lightly against his torso; still she did not break eye contact.
He was taller than she had realized. Sabrina was forced to tilt her head back to look up at him. They only stood there for seconds but to Sabrina it felt like eons. Finally, she raised herself to the tips of her toes, leveraging support by placing her other hand on his shoulder, and pressed her lips against his.
Her eyes fluttered closed and Sabrina leaned into him. She could feel the rigid tension in his body. He was frozen, still fighting the urges that passed between them. She began to pull away, lowering herself a fraction of an inch when she realized that Charlie was not responding to her advances.
When her lips broke from his it was as if he had suddenly regained control of his body. His fingers curled into her hair and his mouth came down upon hers with an intensity that surprised Sabrina, considering his lack of response moments before. Charlie’s free arm snaked around her waist and pulled her against him. Her arms responded on their own, wrapping around his neck and hoisting her body against his. It was like silk and steel, his hard muscles crushing against her tiny but voluptuous frame. The sensations that were rippling through Sabrina’s body were unlike anything she had felt before. Her need to be connected to this man outweighed any other thought in her mind. She knew that if they did not leave this quiet garden they were in serious danger of fulfilling their desires right here with only the moon to watch them.
Sabrina broke away with a gasp. Her breathing was ragged and the words seemed unable to rise from her throat. She pulled her room key from her pocket and held it in her hand, looking from it back to Charlie. She raised her eyebrows in question, knowing that in their affected state he would understand that offer.
Charlie nodded. One short nod was all it took for Sabrina to grab his hand and pull him from the gardens. She was barely aware of the journey to her fifth floor suite. When the door closed behind them they were grasping at each other before either even had a chance to turn on the light. In the time it took to cross the room to the king-sized bed they had both been successfully disrobed, the efficiency and urgency of their actions resulting in a scattered trail of clothing from the door to the edge of the bed.
They moved like shadows toward each other, the moonlight from the window providing only enough light to see the basic outlines of the room. Their bodies pressed against each other. Sabrina smiled against his lips at the pressure against her lower stomach. The desire in the center of her body pulsed in anticipation. He was warm against her, and yet, there were parts of her own body that burned with heat.
Charlie’s hands roamed her body. They brushed the length of her back and cupped her backside to press her more firmly against him before moving to the front of her body to lay claim to her breasts. Sabrina leaned against him and groaned her approval, his rough hands causing the peaks of her breasts to harden and ache.
When his hands moved down across the length of her stomach, making their way across her body to their destination below, they stilled. Sabrina felt Charlie freeze. His breath held and he instantly stopped moving, his hands spanning the range above her navel.
Suddenly, he stepped back and moved to the nightstand, his hands shuffling around for the light switch. Sabrina had been prepared for this, the inevitable. She calmed her breathing and stood very still.
When the light flickered on, Charlie squinted his eyes as he waited from them to adjust. Sabrina stood there as his gaze roamed across the expanse of scar tissue that ran from beneath her breasts to just above her hipbones. All of it that had been covered neatly by her one-piece bathing suit was now laid bare before his eyes.
His brows drew together with sadness. Sabrina breathed a sigh of relief when she did not see even one bit of revulsion. It had been her experience that not all men would respond so kindly.
Charlie approached her with slow movements. He laid his hands over top of the skin and felt the slight puckering that still remained. When he raised his eye to her own what she saw there broke her heart.
“I’m so sorry.” He whispered. His tone was not one of sympathy but of personal regret and accountability. As if the scars were his own doing. Sabrina was shocked by this response.
She raised a hand to his cheek and looked at him with complete honesty.
“These scars,” She laid a hand over one of his that still rested on her stomach, “are proof that I’m alive.”
When he closed his eyes and released a shaky breath Sabrina laid a gentle kiss against his lips.
“If it hadn’t been for you I wouldn’t be standing here today. I may have scars, but I’m alive and that is all that matters.”
She let out a breath and backed away from him. Maybe this was all too much for him. He was not the first man would was unable to look past her disfiguration.
Charlie reached for her and drew her against him.
“I’m sorry.” He muttered against her hair. This time she understood that he was referring to his reaction. “You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. I was only wishing that I could have saved you from having to endure any of that.” His sincerity was heartfelt. Sabrina knew that the issues that he was struggling with had nothing to do with her physical appearance, his reaction was not meant to offend in any way.
“You did.” She pressed her cheek against his chest and enjoyed the soothing strokes of his hands across her back. “You saved me from worse.”
They stood like that for a few moments before Sabrina began to take note of the returning pressure between their bodies.
She chuckled. “I suppose you aren’t deterred that easily.”
“I suppose not.” Charlie replied laughing. His hands began to roam her body more purposefully now. Sabrina felt the heat rising under her skin. With the light now turned on she was able to better appreciate the muscular structure of Charlie’s body. He seemed like muscles upon muscles. Sabrina could understand how a man this physically fit would be able to lift a flaming beam and carry another human out of a raging fire. He was honed to perfection for his career choice. Sabrina threw her head back when his grazing lips moved to her neck. She had never wanted a man this badly. Every atom in her body seemed drawn to him, pulling her with some magnetic force that was beyond her control.
She slipped her hands around him to grasp his backside, thrusting her hips against his own. She wanted him now, but she could tell that he intended to take his time. With surprising speed Charlie lifted her from the floor allowing Sabrina to wrap her legs around his waist. She could feel him pressing beneath her but he prevented her from lowering herself onto him.
She massaged the muscles at the base of his skull, bringing his mouth back to her own and thrusting her tongue into his mouth. She expressed her need through the harsh demands of her mouth, clearly revealing that she was past the point of patient waiting.
He knelt on the bed, carrying her with him as he laid her down on the comforter. Positioned above Sabrina, Charlie seemed much larger than she had previously noted. She lifted her hips off of the bed to, once again, make contact with his lower body. Charlie released a primal groan that shot straight to her core.
They were lying perpendicular to the headboard of the bed but Sabrina had no interest in adjusting their position. Too many long days of subtle foreplay had wreaked havoc on her nerves and control. Her life was permanently connected to this man that had saved her and now she wanted to be physically connected to him as well.
She whispered his name and begged incoherently against his lips, but still he held back.
When she felt the warm tip of his erection press against her, yet pause, Sabrina opened her eyes to find Charlie watching her with barely restrained control.
He held her gaze as he evaluated her facial expressions. Sabrina writhed against him, trying to press herself more firmly against him.
“You don’t owe me anything.” His statement was barely audible. Sabrina smiled. His concern was endearing.
“I owe you everything,” She raised a hand to his lips w
hen he began to speak, “but this is not how I repay my debts.”
He must have seen the honesty in her eyes. The truth that there was nowhere else that she would rather be at the moment. That she was giving herself freely and willingly. Sabrina shifted her hips against him one more time, driving home her certainty.
The little control that he had harnessed broke. Charlie eased himself inside of her with a muttered curse. Sabrina raised her hips to allow him to press further and he wrapped an arm beneath her to help hold her position. She gasped and cried out his name, knowing that her orgasm was not far off. They began to move together as if they had been lovers for years, their bodies instinctively responding to, and encouraging, each other with a confidence that revealed how in tune they were with the other’s needs.
The following morning Sabrina awoke wrapped in the warm embrace of her lover. She was cradled against his chest, her head resting on his arm as they faced each other. She could feel his breath against her hair and the warmth of his hand upon her hip.
With a sigh and a smile she snuggled against him. Though she knew that they were both awake she wanted to revel in this moment a little bit longer.
After a few minutes she felt him shift against her.
“I took a leave of absence from the department.” He spoke in soft tones above her head.
Sabrina moved her hand against his stomach so that he knew she was listening, but did not speak for fear that he would not continue.
“There are so many deaths.” He continued. “For every one that you save another dies and there is nothing that we can do about it. You’re a nurse, so I know that you understand.” He sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if I got away from all the trauma and destruction, would I be happier?”
Sabrina paused. “You won’t.” She shifted to look up at the man that she now realized she had come to love. “You’ll wonder instead who died because you weren’t there.”
She raised a hand to brush her fingers against the stubble that was developing on his chin.