“I’ll go get help.”
Before he could run off, I grabbed his arm. “Don’t go,” I said. “Don’t leave me here.”
“I must, but I won’t be long.”
“You promise you’ll come back?”
“I promise.” He sealed this promise with a kiss. We were just kids, so it was with closed lips, not much more than a peck really. Still, I thought about that kiss for centuries after that, long after Henry died in one of Europe’s many senseless wars, one forgotten now even by the history books.
Three centuries later, I was again walking the forest trail when I saw another deer. This time I was eighteen, coming home after years of running away from my troubles. Yet when I had returned, it didn’t take long for those troubles to reassert themselves again. I had thought some hunting would help to clear my mind. I moved much more cautiously, tracking the deer through the brush. It stopped in the same clearing, thinking it had eluded any pursuers. I sighted my crossbow, but seeing the deer brought back memories of Henry’s kiss. My aim slipped, the bolt catching the deer in the neck.
The animal thrashed around, howling with pain while I began to cry for how stupid I had been. I’d let emotions cloud my judgment again, something Naoko was always lecturing me about. Because of that, an innocent deer had to suffer.
Not trusting my aim again, I used a Speech With Animals spell to speak to the deer. “It’s all right,” I said in as soothing a voice as I could. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
I continued lying to the animal as I closed in on it. The deer settled down, no longer thrashing around. Its eyes looked at me plaintively, as if it understood what I was going to do. Maybe it did and had realized this was for the best.
The deer didn’t flinch as I slit its throat with my knife. I took a step back, watching it collapse to the ground. I collapsed next to it, crying over its body. That was how Marco found me.
When I heard someone coming through the brush I thought it might be Henry’s ghost coming back to torment me. Then I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. Marco’s equally warm voice said, “There now, Mademoiselle Stephanie, don’t cry. It’s only a deer.”
I wanted to make him understand, but there was no way I could tell him all the things in my heart. “It’s not just a deer. He was a living creature. He deserved to die with respect.”
Marco squeezed my shoulder. We sat there in respectful silence for a minute. Finally I stood up to go. Marco smiled slightly at me. “You’re not like any woman I’ve ever known, Stephanie Joliet,” he said. “Women like your sister are tame canaries. You are like a falcon—soaring wild and free.”
“My sister is a good woman. She loves you.” This was and wasn’t true; Alexis didn’t just love Marco—she adored him. “Please don’t make me betray her.”
“But you feel the same way I do. I know it.”
“I do care about you. I have for a long time.”
“Then why not give in to those feelings? Why should we deny what we both want?”
“Because I love Alexis. I thought you did too.”
“I do love Alexis, but not in the same way I love you. Alexis and I have become so familiar with each other. Sometimes we sit in the parlor and say nothing for hours.” Marco shook his head sadly. “In many ways we have already grown old.”
He reached out then to brush hair from my face. I could have stopped him a number of ways, but I didn’t. All during my troubled second adolescence I had yearned to hear him say he loved me. I was finally getting my wish. “My love for you is raw, passionate, like a fire inside me that can only be extinguished by your kiss.”
Maybe these weren’t the most poetic words ever, but they were enough for me. I let him kiss me. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. Before I knew what was happening, he was easing me onto the ground, beside the fallen deer. “Marco—”
“It’s all right, Mademoiselle Stephanie. I won’t hurt you.”
We made love in the exact same spot where Henry and I kissed. To my unending shame, I never once thought about Alexis or Henry. Not until we had dressed and begun to drag the deer back up to the house to show Marco and Alexis’s sons.
This time no one came through the brush. Instead there was a flash of light and then an old woman sat beside me. In her worn gray dress, Gretel looked more like a beggar than the head of the coven. That of course was part of her act, the way she kept people off balance. “I thought you might be here,” she said.
“What made you think that?”
“There are only two places you go when you’re upset and I’ve already been to the bar. I waited there until last call but you never showed.”
“Sorry about that.” Gretel’s mention of the bar in Edinburgh reminded me that Greta Bitterhauf would probably wake up soon. I’d have to return her to the lodge back in Germany before someone noticed she was missing. “I bet you want to hear about what happened.”
“That would be a good place to start.”
I told her about what I’d seen in the throne room, about the women reading magic from a book and nearly opening a rift for demons. Women who were also resistant to magic. “I’m not sure what the Nazis were doing with those machines. I didn’t get a chance to question them.”
“We’ll have to find out.” Gretel let out a sigh. “I doubt it’s anything good.”
“My thoughts exactly.” I let out a sigh of my own. “What are you going to do now?”
“I’ll talk with Clare and Rose about the book. They might know something about it.”
“Then what? You want me to try and track those women down?”
“No. I doubt we’ll find them now. They’ll be more careful the next time.”
“Which is my fault, right? I’m sure Naoko or Tabitha could have handled it better.”
Gretel shook her head. “You’re over four hundred years old and you still act like you’re fourteen. When are you going to grow up?”
“That was what you were thinking, though, wasn’t it?”
“No.” She patted my shoulder. “You did an excellent job, Stephanie, given the circumstances.”
It wasn’t the best compliment, but I was too tired to argue any further with her. “So what do you want me to do next?”
“Well, after you take that young woman back to her hotel, go home and rest. I’m sure Alexis will be glad to see you.”
“You’re just going to let those women run wild out there?”
“There’s nothing we can do about them right now.”
I snorted at this. “Just like there’s nothing we can do about Hitler or his whole damned regime, right?”
“You know it’s not our policy to interfere with mortal affairs except where magic is involved.”
“That’s your policy, not mine.” That policy had led to Henry’s death, not to mention a great many other deaths over the years.
“Your mother came up with that policy. She wasn’t nearly as emotional as her daughters.”
“I guess the apple did fall far from the tree with me.”
“You didn’t inherit her temperament,” Gretel said, looking me in the eye, “but you inherited some of her good traits.” She got to her feet, making an exaggerated groan, although I knew she didn’t feel any pain despite being nearly four thousand years old. “Now then, young lady, stop moping around here and go home.”
I took her up on that. There was no good in letting your past consume your present.
Chapter 3
Alexis hadn’t gone to bed yet when I got home. She just about gave me a heart attack when I vanished into my bedroom only to find her sitting in the corner, as if waiting for me. It was possible Gretel had popped in to mention I was safe and coming home, or she might have just had one of her feelings. There was no way to know with Alexis.
“Hello, dear,” Alexis said. “Would you care for some tea? I have a warm pot down in the kitchen.”
I was still on German time so I would have preferred to crawl into bed, but I knew Alexis wouldn’t have be
en waiting for me if she didn’t want something. Like all “proper ladies” though she’d take her sweet time getting around to it. “Yeah, sure,” I said. “Tea would really hit the spot right about now.”
We could have vanished down to the kitchen, but Mama had taught us magic shouldn’t be used frivolously. I followed Alexis downstairs, into the kitchen. I wasn’t surprised to see the pot of tea already on the table with a plate of almond cookies. Alexis poured two cups, adding three lumps of sugar to mine, the way I usually took it. She also pushed the plate of cookies over without taking any for herself. If I couldn’t get any sleep, a bite to eat would have to do.
She waited until I took a sip of tea and devoured two of the cookies before she asked, “How was your trip?”
“About the same as always,” I said. I tried not to trouble Alexis with too many gory details if I could help it; she was far too squeamish for that. That was why she’d been chosen to work with potions instead of offensive magic like me. “Gretel show up here?”
“Not since before you left.”
I nodded at this; Gretel didn’t like troubling Alexis with details about my missions either, not unless she had a reason for it. “I popped in on the old house. Justine sends her regards.”
“Really? How is she these days?”
“She’s picking up where her mom left off.”
“That’s so nice. She was such a delicate thing last time I saw her. Did you see any of the others?”
“It was a little late when I got there.”
“Yes, I suppose so.” Alexis took a sip of her tea and sighed. I could tell she was finally ready to get down to business. “Do you remember the dress I was making for Mrs. Milner?”
“Was that the blue one?”
“No, it was silver.”
I grunted at this while I ate another cookie. To keep herself entertained during the long stretches when she didn’t have anything to do for the coven, Alexis made dresses. She had a small but well-paying clientele, not that she needed the money. She had also made all the dresses in my closet and the old ones I kept in the attic.
Alexis glared at me for a moment, but then continued, “She lives over on the west side. It’s a darling house. You ought to come with me next time; she said her hairdresser has moved and she’s starting to feel a bit unkempt.”
To keep myself entertained during those brief stretches when I didn’t have monsters to kill for the coven, I did some hairdressing on the side, mostly for Alexis’s clients. I found it soothing and it helped to maintain my dexterity, especially with knots. “I’ll be sure to bring my scissors then.”
Alexis stared at me, trying to decide if I were being serious or not. She must have decided I was, as she went on, “It was such a lovely day that I decided to walk. I took Central Avenue, the one that goes through the park.”
“I know.”
She ignored this, saying, “I had just got through the park when I started feeling strange.”
“Strange how?”
“At first I started to feel a bit warm, but then as I got closer, I became feverish as well.” Alexis shook her head. “I nearly lost my breakfast right there on the street.”
For someone like Alexis throwing up in public would be akin to a gut shot. She wouldn’t be able to show her face outside for years, if ever. “You weren’t in the park anymore?”
“No. I’d gone by the park by then. I was outside the school, Cuthbert College.”
“You think someone was playing with germ weapons?”
“I don’t think so. No one else appeared affected at all.” She shook her head again. “I managed to get a hold of myself and I hurried out of there. By the time I reached Mrs. Milner’s, I felt fine again.”
I shrugged. “Maybe it was something you ate.”
“Stephanie, dear, this is serious.”
“I’m trying, but I don’t know what the hubbub is about.”
“The way I felt, it isn’t so different from when I feel dark magic around, only this was much more powerful.”
Now we had finally got to the root of the problem. “You think there’s a demon around?”
“It would have to be a very strong demon, far stronger than one I’ve ever felt before.”
I considered this for a moment, finishing my cup of tea and the plate of cookies. “You haven’t said anything to Gretel?”
“No. I told you she hasn’t been here since you left.” Alexis reached across the table to seize my left wrist. She patted it gently. “I wanted to talk to you about it first. You’re the expert on the subject in this family.”
“Thanks.” With her other hand, Alexis reached into an apron pocket. She set a pink vial on the table. My eyes widened at this; I’d seen a vial like this once before. “Is that what I think it is?”
“Yes. I brewed it after I returned home from Mrs. Milner’s.”
“Why?”
“I thought if you wanted to go prowling around the college, you might blend in better with this.”
“Who says I want to go prowling around the college?”
“Now, dear, don’t get upset. I don’t mean to presume to tell you how to do your job, but it seemed reasonable to me—”
“I don’t need that. You remember what happened the last time?”
“I know, dear, and I’m very sorry about that. It was selfish of me to ask you to do that.”
“And now you’re going to ask me to do it again?”
“Of course not. I’ve made this far less potent.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” I said, trying to make my voice sound nonchalant. Still, I wanted to pick up that damned vial and throw it against the wall. I didn’t want anything to do with another of Alexis’s Inner Child potions.
“I know what happened last time, but I promise you aren’t going to end up as a child.”
“Sure,” I said. “So long as you didn’t make any mistakes with it.”
“If I did we’ll find out soon enough.”
“What are you talking about?”
Alexis reached into her pocket again, producing another pink vial, this one empty. “I made enough for both of us.” She looked up towards the ceiling, at the clock on the wall. “I took it about four hours ago, so it should start working any moment now.”
It turned out Alexis’s feelings were right on the money again. Not more than a second after the last syllable left her mouth, her entire body began to twitch with a spasm. She pushed away from the table and then dropped onto the floor. I ran over to kneel beside her, but there was a smile on her face.
“Don’t worry, dear,” she said. “I’ve done this before. It’s my specialty, remember?”
“Goddamnit, Alexis. You didn’t have to do this.”
“It was the only way,” she said and then let out a sharp cry.
There was nothing I could do but take her hand and watch as she went through the change. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Her body didn’t start shrinking down into that of an infant, not like Morgana’s after she’d tried overthrowing Gretel centuries ago. Gretel had made all of us watch that as a lesson of what could become of us if we tried turning rogue too.
I first noticed the change in the hand I held. Liver spots vanished in an instant. The skin became less translucent, veins becoming harder to see. The hand itself became softer and thinner—delicate. At the same time, the rest of her body was going through the same process. Wrinkles on her face disappeared and her hair changed from lifeless gray, to dull yellow, and then finally to vibrant gold. The most painful part came as her middle age spread melted away, her waist narrowing and breasts lifting.
In three minutes her body had gone back in time three centuries, to when she had been the most beautiful girl in all of France. When she smiled, her teeth were brilliantly white and straight. Between that smile and her slim young body she could easily become the new queen of Hollywood. “How did we do?” she asked. Even her voice had regained its sunny tone from those days.
“Yo
u’re a heartbreaker again, kid,” I said. I helped her to her feet, easing her back onto the chair. Having your body turn thirty years younger took a lot out of you. While she rested, I retrieved a mirror from the parlor.
“Oh my,” Alexis said, touching her hair with one hand. “I do look a bit of a mess, though. You’ll have to braid my hair like back in the old days.”
“Sure,” I said with a smile.
She pulled her hand away from her hair to pat my hand. “Thank you so much, dear.” The “dear” part didn’t fit with her new body and voice, but the sentiment was genuine.
I took the pink vial from the table and then uncorked it. “Bottoms up,” I said.
***
Because witches have access to magic, we don’t age the same way as mortals. Once she’s learned to control her power—usually by sixteen—a witch can keep herself at any age she wants. In theory we could all be young and beautiful until Doomsday. In practice we’ve all let ourselves go gray. For some, like Gretel, it was by choice.
For others our appearance on the outside was a mirror of how we felt on the inside. We looked old because we felt old. That’s what happens after you’ve lived four or five centuries. The time just starts to wear down on you like a boulder sitting beside the ocean.
In theory Alexis and I should have been able to make ourselves eighteen again without a potion. Except it didn’t work that way in practice. We could try to make ourselves look young, but it wouldn’t work because we’d still feel old on the inside. “Cognitive dissonance” Caroline called it.
So the only way for me to look young enough to pass as a college student was to take Alexis’s potion. I drank it in the kitchen, but as with the one Alexis had taken, it wouldn’t work right away. It would need about four hours before it kicked in, just long enough for me to catch some sleep.
At least I tried to sleep. Despite that I knew the potion wasn’t working yet, I couldn’t help looking down at my feet to see if they were in the same place. I felt a nervous flutter in my stomach I hadn’t felt since the last time I’d taken an Inner Child potion.
That last time had been in the final year of the 18th Century. I had decided to come home from Paris, to escape the ashes of the Revolution that has so spectacularly failed. I vanished myself to the front gates so that I didn’t surprise her. She was of course expecting me, the gates already open. I was hardly through these gates when I saw Alexis running towards me. Except this wasn’t the Alexis I left behind nearly five years ago.
Awakening (Birth of Magic #1) Page 3