The Broken Road

by Anna Lee

  “One, Kason is my little bro and I’m a mean mama bear, you got that? Two, I’ve seen every episode of Criminal Minds and CSI. I can make you disappear if you hurt him, which means you won’t or else. And three, next time I see you, remind me to hug you.”

  Ryen seemed as thrown by the third one as Kason did. “Why?”

  “My babies, Ems and Luke, were the only ones who could get him smiling and that was rare. It was nice to see him doing that again yesterday.”

  “Oh.” Ryen came up behind Kason and wrapped him in an embrace, kissing his neck. “Well, it just so happens that his smile makes me crazy so you’ll be seeing it a lot more.”

  “Good.” Lexie sounded pleased. “Luke, what have I told you about running down the stairs? You’ll break something. Ugh, I gotta go. Bye, guys, love you, Kas.”

  “Love you, too.” Kason hung the phone up then leaned back into Ryen’s arms. “Sorry, my sister is, uh…unique? Wouldn’t trade her for anything though.”

  “A firecracker. I like her.” Ryen chuckled. “I never want to get on her bad side.”

  “Nope, been there, and it isn’t pretty.”

  Pulling the plate over to them, Ryen then speared a piece of pancake on a fork and fed it to him. “What do you think?”

  He thought he might have to start going to the gym and lifting weights if he was going to keep eating so well and wanting seconds. “Mm, real good. Boysenberry is my favorite syrup.”

  “I’ll have to remember that.” Ryen took a bite himself. “So any plans today?”

  “Just this right here.” Kason decided on a whim. He wanted to spend the day with Ryen, happy and without a care. Then he thought of something. “Unless you have to work?”

  “Nah, I’m going to use a vacation day, I think.” Ryen fed him another bite. “I’ve earned it.”

  “Definitely.” Kason grinned and tilted his head back. “So, what are our plans?”

  “A little of this.” Ryen pressed their lips together then ran his hand down Kason’s bare chest. “A little of that. We’ll wing the rest.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  * * * *

  Since Ryen had to go into work early at the coffee shop, most nights were spent at his place. When Ryen worked, Kason did as well, then they met afterward, deciding spontaneously what to do. Kason was happy with whatever they did. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt better when he was with Ryen. Day by day he was falling a little harder for him.

  Ryen stayed over at Kason’s on Wednesday night since he had the next day off, except for inventorying. They’d only been asleep a few hours when Kason woke to a cry from Ryen. His mind fuzzy from sleep, he stupidly reached over to shake him. Ryen, clearly in the midst of a nightmare, twisted, swung out and tumbled off the bed. Kason gasped and leaned over to see Ryen blinking rapidly. His whole body was shaking.

  Taking more care this time, he reached out to touch Ryen’s cheek. “Ry, you with me?”

  Ryen’s eyes cleared and he stared at Kason. “I— Bad dream is all. Did I…hurt you?”

  “You missed me. I shouldn’t have tried to shake you,” Kason brushed it off. Ryen was a trained Marine who had done two tours. Kason couldn’t even begin to imagine the hell he had gone through. It was foolish to yank him out of a nightmare like he had. Lexie had told him that her husband, Jase, had night terrors too. “Are you all right?”

  “I, uh…” Ryen got to his feet hurriedly and dashed to the bathroom, shutting the door.

  Kason sighed and sat up. He checked his phone for the time. A little past three. He slid into his chair and wheeled over, rapping his knuckles against the frame. He could hear the water running.

  “Just a sec,” Ryen called out.

  “Do you need anything?” Kason wasn’t sure how he could help, but he wanted to.

  Ryen opened the door, and Kason saw he had splashed his face with water. His eyes were red-rimmed. “I, uh, I’m going to go.”

  Completely thrown, Kason watched Ryen move past him and start searching for his clothes. “Wait, what?”

  “I won’t be able to sleep now,” Ryen told him. “I might as well get a jump on inventory. You should get some rest though.”

  Not understanding what was wrong, Kason blocked the only exit from the room. “You can’t leave. It’s too early. C’mon back to bed and get some sleep with me.”

  Ryen didn’t look at him as he tugged his jeans on. “It’s better if I go.”

  “Why?” Kason wasn’t going to let him go without an explanation. “Ry, talk to me. What’s going on? Did I do something?”

  “No, of course not!” Ryen ran a hand through his hair. “I just need some air.”

  “So we’ll go for a walk or sit on my balcony,” Kason suggested.

  With a shake of his head, Ryen replied, “Please, just let me go.”

  “No!” Kason folded his arms over his bare chest. “Am I wrong in thinking what I have about us? I’m right here, Ryen. Don’t push me away. Let me help.”

  Ryen’s eyes finally met his. In the dim light of the room, Kason saw the look of guilt. “I could’ve hurt you, Kas,” he whispered. “You’ve already been through hell, I’m not about to make it worse with my issues.”

  “One, you didn’t hurt me. Two, I’m a big boy and yeah, I’m not as strong as I once was, but I can hold my own. And three, I trust you.” Kason ticked off on his fingers. “You were in the middle of a nightmare. A bad one. Next time I’ll be smarter and help you better. I can’t do that if you leave though.”

  “I want you to trust me.” Ryen sank down on the bed. “But I’m not in control when I get lost in those night terrors.”

  “So trust me to handle it and pull you back,” Kason pleaded, moving over to him.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” Ryen said, voice catching.

  “The only way you do that is by walking out that door.” Kason cupped Ryen’s face in his hands. “Do you have them often?”

  “When I’m in new places. It’s been a while. I thought I’d be okay with you,” Ryen admitted. “And then it was like I was back there, losing Logan all over again until I heard your voice.”

  Kason pushed himself out of his chair to sit beside Ryen. He drew him into a hug. Ryen relaxed into it, resting his head on Kason’s shoulder. He ran his hand through Ryen’s thick hair. “You’re safe now. I’m right here.”

  “I didn’t really want to go. I’m just used to dealing with this on my own.”

  “You’re just going to have to get used to having me here to help now.” Kason brushed a kiss to Ryen’s temple. “You’re not alone anymore.”

  “I can’t ask you to make promises like that when we’ve only been dating a week.”

  Kason was a little hurt, but he sensed Ryen was trying to offer him an out. One he wasn’t going to take. “You didn’t ask. I’m telling you that even if we crash and burn—which is so not happening, by the way—that as your friend, I’m here.”

  Ryen almost cracked a smile. “You’re amazing, you know that?” He tilted his head up so their eyes met. “I’m not trying to scare you off, baby. It’s just been a long and broken road to get to you and I guess I just need—”

  Reassurance? Love? Me? Kason pressed a finger to Ryen’s lips before he could finish the sentence. He suddenly felt a bit vulnerable himself. “You just need me to show you what I’m saying, I can do that.”

  With a kiss to his finger, Ryen said, “Yes, and for the record we’re not crashing and burning. I already need you too much to let that happen.”

  Heart skipping a beat, Kason kissed Ryen softly. “Glad we’re on the same page. Now, come back to bed?”

  “I might not be able to sleep.” Ryen climbed into his lap.

  “I can help with that.” Kason kissed him again, determined to drive away the shadows in Ryen’s eyes and get him smiling again.

  * * * *

  The next day, he was supposed to meet Ryen for lunch at the coffee shop since he would be finished inventorying by then, b
ut when he came in he saw Lexie chatting away with Ryen. Groaning, he hoped Lexie hadn’t embarrassed him or tried to frighten Ryen off. She had never liked any of his past boyfriends, especially Blake, whom she had hated from the start, saying he was all wrong for Kason. She had been right about that. Still, he was anxious to know what she and Ryen had been talking about. His sister walked over and gave him a big hug while Ryen started helping customers.

  “I had to come see Ryen for myself since you’ve been hiding him away,” she whispered in his ear.

  “I just wanted to have time to figure this out. So, what do you think?”

  “He’s a real sweetheart. I can see why you like him.” She grinned and he was relieved. He didn’t need his sister’s approval, but it was nice and meant a lot. “You’re going to bring him to meet the fam when we have Luke’s party, yeah?”

  “Yep. Do I have any reason to be mad at you right now?”

  “None that I can think of.” Lexie failed to pull off innocent as she shrugged. “We were just talking. Ryen totally gets how hard it is having Jase deployed.”

  “Yeah, he lost his brother…”

  “So sad, I feel awful.” For a moment Kason saw all the fear and worry his sister kept hidden away. He knew hearing about Logan had to have shaken Lexie up. Jase was a Navy SEAL, and Kason shared his sister’s concerns whenever Jase had to leave home and go on a mission. Though they and the kids were used to Jase going, the worry never went away, and they had to hold onto hope and believe he would come home.

  “Me too.” There was nothing that could be said that he hadn’t said already so Kason gave her a reassuring smile and thought he should change the subject. “What else did you talk about?”

  “Nothing, really.” Lexie shrugged. “Cooking, you, Brutus.”

  “Lexie,” he drawled out her name.

  “What? I’m not sorry, Kas. You are smart in a lot of ways, but not when it comes to guys. I had to.”

  Throwing his hands up, Kason huffed. “Had to what? I’ll admit I screwed up with Blake and was stupid, but I won’t make that mistake again.” It was true too. The accident had given him a new outlook and a different set of priorities. He wasn’t looking for a good time, but something that would last. He’d almost died in that wreck without really even living his life. But he’d changed since then and Lexie knew that. Maybe now she would see it as well.

  Lexie’s gaze pleaded for understanding, and he did even if he was annoyed at his sister for butting in. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “And end up in the river?” Ryen interjected as he joined them and gave Kason a quick kiss. “Not a chance.”

  Lexie laughed. “Will you please tell my brother I was nice and you’re not going to run for the hills so he’ll relax?”

  “If I run I’ll be taking you with me.” Ryen laid his hand on the back on Kason’s chair.

  “See?” Lexie reached over to ruffle his hair and Kason glared at her.

  “I swear next time I see Jase on Skype I’m telling him it wasn’t Luke who stuck his clubs under the car.”

  “You wouldn’t dare or I’ll tell Ryen—”

  “Ah!” Kason held up his hand. “Stop before this gets ugly.”

  “Fine, I gotta run anyway.” Lexie hugged Ryen. “See you next Saturday. Remember Julie, Jack and Ollie are all welcome.” She hugged Kason too. “Take care of you, and call me later.”

  “Take care of you, too. Give the kids hugs for me and tell them I’ll be by tomorrow.”

  “Will do.”

  Lexie left and Kason turned to Ryen. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting her to come interrogate you. I hope it wasn’t too bad.”

  “It’s no big deal. She’s protective after everything. I get it.”

  “I do too, even if it’s irritating at times. She treats me like a kid more than my own mom does.”

  Ryen laughed. “She’s like Logan. He was the same way.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yup, used to bug me too,” Ryen said then gave a heavy sigh. “Now I just miss it.”

  Taking Ryen’s hand, Kason kissed it. “I wish I could’ve met him.”

  “Me too. He’d have liked you.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so.” Ryen squeezed his hand as the sadness in his eyes receded. “So what was Lexie going to tell me?”

  “Could be anything from me jumping off the high dive naked in high school on a dare to dressing in drag a few Halloweens back with her,” Kason replied, wanting to get Ryen laughing again.

  “You’ll have to tell me at lunch.” Ryen put his arm back around Kason’s shoulders as he wheeled his chair out of the shop.

  Chapter Four

  The following Saturday, he and Ryen were running a little late. They’d had breakfast in bed which Kason had thanked Ryen for twice then they’d had to rush to get ready, but Ryen helping him in the shower definitely hadn’t sped things along.

  “You think Lexie will buy a flat tire story?” Ryen joked as he helped Kason out of the truck and into his chair.

  “No chance.” Kason laughed. “My mom would though.”

  Kason waited as Ryen got the presents from the truck bed. “We’ll just have to bribe Lexie with coffee then.”

  “Oh good plan. You don’t want to see Lex caffeine deprived, it’s not pretty.”

  They went along the side of the house to the backyard. He could see the dinosaur bouncy house and hear the kids all screaming as they played. Ryen had gift bags in both hands and passed one to him so he could open the wooden gate.

  “Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be,” Kason said, and they both laughed.

  As soon as they entered the yard, they were bombarded. Emily was first to reach Kason and he hugged her as Luke climbed into his lap. Ryen set the gift bags down, scooping Jack and Ollie into his arms and spinning them around as they laughed. They were the spitting image of Logan from the pictures Kason had seen, with sandy brown hair, dark brown eyes and wide grins. Ryen had told him Jack was five and Ollie two and a half.

  Luke was turning five that day too and Kason couldn’t believe it. It seemed like only yesterday that Lexie had brought him home, bald and red faced. Now he had a head full of curly blond hair and green eyes that were filled with mischief.

  “Luke, Ems, I want you meet Ryen.”

  “Hi, Ryen. Uncle Kason, can we go for a ride?” Luke bounced on his knee.

  “Sure, kiddo.” Kason ruffled Luke’s hair.

  “Uncle Kason, is that why you’ve been super busy and aren’t coming over every day?” Emily asked with a pout.

  Setting Jack and Ollie down, Ryen smiled over at Emily. “Yes, I like spending time with your uncle. I hope that’s okay.”

  Emily stamped her foot and crossed her arms. “He’s my uncle! You don’t get to steal him away.” She turned and ran off.

  Ryen gave him an apologetic look, but Kason didn’t want him feeling bad so he said, “No, it’s okay. I knew she was gonna be jealous.” He turned to Jack and Ollie. “Hey, boys, it’s nice to meet you. Your uncle has told me a lot about you.”

  “You have a neat chair!” Jack came over to him and Ollie tried climbing into his lap.

  “Wanna ride!”

  Laughing, Kason lifted Ollie up. “Okay, we’ll go to the house. I’ve gotta find Ems and talk to her.”

  After putting Jack on his shoulders, Ryen scooped up the gift bags and followed Kason to the back sliding door. Lexie and Kason’s mom were there, their hands filled with packages of hamburgers and hotdogs. Kason’s mom recruited Ryen to help her with the food and Lexie pointed Kason back toward Emily’s room. Kason introduced himself to Julie, Ryen’s sister-in-law—she was a petite woman with long black hair and almond eyes. She offered to take Luke and Ollie for him so he could talk to Emily. Kason was quick to promise the boys another ride just as soon as he came back then thanked Julie before heading to Emily’s room. He didn’t bother knocking, just opened her door and let himself in.

&nb
sp; Emily was sitting on her bed, staring down at the Brave doll Kason had gotten her just a few weeks back after he’d taken her and Luke to see the movie. She now had her room decorated too, with Brave posters and a new bedspread. She was even wearing the Brave dress that Lexie had bought her.

  “Hey, princess. What was that all about?”

  Emily didn’t look up. “I’m mad at you.”

  “Well, that isn’t good.” Kason wheeled himself over to her. “Is there any way I can make it so you’re not mad?”

  “Tell him to go away.”

  “I’m sorry, honey, but I can’t do that.”

  Sniffling Emily said, “Why?”

  “Because Ryen is special to me and I don’t want him to go.”

  “You don’t need him. You have me, Luke, and Mommy and Daddy too.”

  “And I love you all very much. But I do need him. I need someone just like Mommy has Daddy. Do you understand?” Kason hoped she did, he didn’t want her upset. “It’s not going to change things, Ems. I’ll still visit lots, go to your swim meets and take you and Luke to the movies or whatever you want.”

  “Nuh-uh.” Emily shook her head. “We won’t get to do that.”

  Now Kason was confused. “Why?”

  He saw tears in Emily’s eyes and all he wanted to do was take them away. He hated to be the reason for her crying. “When you were with Blake, you never came here. You stayed away until you got hurt real bad.” Her lip wobbled. “I was scared. I don’t want you to go away again or get hurt.”

  His heart clenched and Kason felt terrible as he put his hands over Emily’s. He and Blake had often fought about Kason’s family—Blake knew Lexie hated him, refused to spend time with Kason’s family, and didn’t want to be involved with them. With everything else going on, Kason had stupidly neglected his family and regretted it.

  “I promise you I’m not going anywhere. I messed up before and I’m sorry. So sorry, but I’m never going to do that again. Ryen knows how special you are to me. He has Jack and Ollie so we can all have fun together. I promise, okay?”

  Emily lifted up her hand and held out her pinky. Kason linked it with his then she jumped up and threw her arms around him. He hugged her tightly, so grateful to have her in his life.