UNFORGIVABLE
By
Lindsay Delagair
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2012 by Lindsay Delagair
Published by Lindsay Delagair at Smashwords
Smashwords Edition License Notes:
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be reproduced, copied, sold or redistributed. If you would like to share this book with another person, please direct them to Smashwords.com and have them purchase their own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This ebook is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Prologue
I was running away, but I didn’t know where I was headed. It was dark and frightening. Everywhere I turned was another dead end. I wanted to scream his name; I wanted to see his face, but I couldn’t go back. I had to keep running. I wanted to turn around, but there was a force taking me away, and like a strong current in deep water, I was being pulled further out. The tears were coursing down my cheeks and I knew my life was over; he was gone and I’d never see him again.
I was holding something in my hands, and as I struggled to see what it was, I knew what I had to do with it. The knife was as dark as my surroundings, but the blade was razor sharp and I felt it bite into my palms as I traced the curve of it. It was over; there was no need to go on. What use is a heart that has lost its reason for beating? I gripped the handle and placed the tip of the blade against my chest.
Then I saw his face like a light in the darkness. His beautiful face was filled with love. I watched him come closer, his face changing, growing dimmer and angrier. He was right in front of me, close enough to reach out and touch me, but he wouldn’t.
His hands took the place of mine over the dagger’s handle and then he looked at me and asked, “Why did you throw my love away?”
I couldn’t answer; I could only cry.
I felt rain pouring down on me as thunder and lightning rolled.
Suddenly, fury exploded across his face as he jammed the blade into me. The pain was unlike anything I’d known. It was like ice on fire as it plunged through my dying heart. I collapsed. The rain washed into a river of blood, and the last word I whispered was his name, “Micah.”
Chapter One
I jerked upright in bed, choking back a sob. My chest heaved in pain, and beads of sweat rolled down my back. I had to catch my breath as the dream faded from my mind. I was gasping for air and shaking horribly. It was still storming outside as I watched lightening split the pre-dawn sky every few minutes. I glanced at the clock. It was 3:30 in the morning and the dream had been so vivid that I still felt the burn through my chest.
Mom would be worried when she got up and I wasn’t there, but I’d leave her a note before I slipped out to see him. I pulled on my clothes quickly and scribbled down a few sentences and tossed it onto my bed. Grabbing my purse and car keys, I went down to the garage. I hadn’t brushed my hair or put on makeup, but there wasn’t time. The dream had me so rattled that I simply had to see him and make sure that everything was still right in my world.
It had only been five days since he came back into my life, and I was so obsessed with the idea that something would happen to ruin our happiness that I was now repeating this terrifying nightmare. I had it last night, but I kept it together. Not tonight; I needed to be in his arms, knowing he was still here and that he still loved me.
My Aston Martin purred softly to life. The garage door opened and I backed out carefully, headlights off so as not to disturb my mother and sister. My tires rolled silently down the long drive as rain pelted my car. He was at the Hyatt until we could find a house we wanted to buy. Money wasn’t the issue; between the two of us, we could have purchased the White House, but it was more a matter of finding the perfect place to begin our new life.
We set the wedding date for September 15th, and that was fewer than three months away. I wanted it the day he proposed. I was ready to go to the courthouse and make it official right then, but he said he wanted me to have the kind of wedding that young girls dream about; a decorated church, flowers and bridesmaids, a man of God to take us through our vows as opposed to a clerk in the courthouse, a reception and dancing, and, of course, a honeymoon some place special. All I could think about was spending that first night in his arms and knowing there would be no reason to stop once we were pledged to each other forever.
I pulled into the Hyatt’s parking garage and ran through the lobby to the elevator, pressing the button for the seventh floor. I didn’t want to end up banging on his door at this time of the morning; that was a good way to get shot, so I dialed his cell phone as the elevator began its ascent.
Three rings and the elevator door was opening into the quiet interior hallway,
“Leese?” came the sleepy voice on the other end of the line, “What’s the matter? Are you okay?”
“Hey, can you come to your door? I’m right outside. I need to see you.” My emotions were rising with just the sound of his voice. I could feel the tears and the fright from my dream returning, making the need to see him urgent. The phone went silent, but within seconds the door to his room opened.
He was wearing only his boxers, standing there looking like a Greek god with his powerful physique. I know my panicked call scared him as he ushered me in and closed and locked the door. I was in his arms, my cheek against his chest and the tears were coming faster.
“Baby,” he crooned, “what’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“Oh, Micah, I had the most horrible dream and I had to come see you,” I said, trying to stop shaking so hard.
“A dream?” he said softly with a hint of mirth to his voice. “Do you want to sit up and talk about it?”
“Can we just lie together in your bed?”
I could hear the smile form on his face in the darkness, his mouth finding mine for a warm, slow kiss and then moving down my neck. “Baby, we’re never going to make it to our wedding night if we get in that bed.”
“Please, Micah. I’ve got to be with you. We’ve managed this before—I need to be in your arms.”
He scooped me off the floor and proceeded to the bed, never breaking the kisses he was placing on my neck. He was right. I wasn’t making it easy for us to save something for the wedding night, but I knew he could be a gentleman, he had proven that even when I wasn’t in my right mind, or my clothes.
He laid me down and I rolled away from him onto my side to give him room to slip in behind me. I felt his muscled arm reach around my waist and draw me against his firm body.
He sighed as he placed a final kiss on my neck, “What was the dream about?” he whispered.
My crying had started to subside and I found myself yawning deeply. The only place I could truly relax was in his embrace.
“Did you tell your mom you were coming over here to see me?
I yawned again, “No, I just left a note on my bed.”
“You’re really tired, aren’t you?”
“I can’t sleep anymore unless I have you with me—it’s like something is missing.”
He yawned and then nuzzled into my hair, “I know what you mean. I couldn’t sleep either. What about your dream?”
“How about we discuss it when we wake up?” Now that I was here, and secure in his hold, I didn’t want to tell him about the dream. I didn’t want to tell him that he ended my life with a blade to my heart. We were out from under the curse of his obligation to kill me. The hit was over when Robert was caught. Micah had spent months arra
nging his exit from the mafia and we were now free to face forever together.
“All right—in the morning. Goodnight, baby—I love you.”
I would never hear those three words enough. In that moment, I wanted to roll over and kiss him; kiss him with all the passion that he had awakened inside me not long after I’d met him. But, I knew if we both went over the edge, our wedding night would become now. I wanted to wait to make it right between us and God, but I was starting to wonder if God was truly concerned about a piece of paper between us or the commitment we had already made to each other?
“I love you, Micah.” I fell asleep to the sound of his steady breathing and the warmth of his heart beating against my back.
When daylight came, I knew it was the best rest I had since our last night together at the Inlet Motel months ago. This was the place I knew I belonged, right here wrapped in these glorious arms and pressed to his body. My temperature was starting to rise as I recalled what he was wearing when he opened the door at three-something in the morning. I was so upset when I arrived that my mind wasn’t particularly consumed with the idea of sex, but right now was a different story.
His breathing was slow and deep, and his hold on me was soft, so I knew he was enjoying peaceful sleep. I pulled away slowly, trying to slip out of the bed undetected. He was a light sleeper, so getting out of his embrace wouldn’t be easy. I heard his breathing shorten just as I escaped, his hand narrowly missing me as my feet found the floor.
“Baby,” came his melodic voice, “come back to bed so we can talk.”
I laughed as I headed into the bathroom. Talking is not what we’d end up doing if I got back in there with him. I used his comb to get the tangles out of my hair and then used his mouthwash to make sure I didn’t have morning breath. I studied his toothbrush for a moment. I knew he wouldn’t mind, but I decided against it.
I opened the bathroom door to find him leaning against the door frame, still in his boxers and looking even better than when I saw him in the darkness. “You know that should be illegal, right?”
“What?” he stated innocently, eyebrows rising.
“To look that good,” I laughed, still watching his muscles as they flexed and rippled.
He made a deep growling sound, not one of anger, but of need as he pulled me into his arms. His heated mouth gently covered my own, begging my lips to part and let him explore. My hands slid around his thick shoulders and onto his back as I returned the passionate kiss. His granite-like body pressed me against the wall as our moral brakes began smoking against the inability to slow down.
“Are you hungry,” I whispered in his ear, hoping we’d find a reason to stop what felt so absolutely marvelous to both of us.
“Mmm—yes, baby, I am,” he rumbled his reply. His hips thrust against mine in an apparent showing of exactly what he was hungry for.
I inhaled involuntarily and deep as he pushed against me. My left hand turned his face to me as I found his lips. My right hand slid lower, past the hard abdominals, moving down the sleek muscles that were just above the rim of his low-rise boxers.
“Leese, if you go any lower, I’m going to rip every piece of clothing off you right here and right now.” His words were quick and forceful, telling me he sincerely meant what he was saying. I had to choose to let this happen, or to wait as we had planned. My hand slid around to his hip and then upward to his waist.
The sound of control returned to his breathing.
“I can’t be apart from you, Micah—even if it’s just a distance of a few miles from my house to the hotel. I can’t really sleep unless you’re holding me and—”
“I know,” he murmured softly, slowly backing off from pressing me against the wall, “after you got here last night and we went to sleep, it felt like the first time I’ve slept in months. It’s like I was finally—”
“Comfortable,” I finished for him.
He pulled away so I could see his face. A soft smile played with the corners of his mouth, “Exactly.”
“Maybe we should change the date of the wedding?” I whimpered wanting him to come back to pressing me against the wall, the floor, the bed; I didn’t care where as long as he didn’t take his body back.
He placed his lips on mine, but it was only a brief kiss as he pulled away, “No, we can wait.”
I let my hand return to the place that threatened to put him over his ability to control himself, “Are you sure we can wait?” I teased.
He gripped my hand firmly to prevent me from crossing a dangerous line, “Yes, but—”
“I want you to stay at my house,” I blurted. “I can’t stay away from you—not now.”
“Leese, I don’t think your mom is—”
“She already asked me if I wanted you to stay at the house,” I quickly added.
His brows rose, “She doesn’t think we’ve…”
I shook my head, “No, but she did—she was certain until I told her what a gentleman you’d been with me.”
He smiled. “Good. At least you are helping me get a better reputation. I wondered what she must think about me.”
“She thinks you’re fantastic, but…”
“But what?” His face getting that concerned look.
“I think she—she thinks you haven’t been in the mob very long.”
“Is that what you told her?”
“No, I haven’t discussed your—your former career with her. I don’t think she even realizes how much money you have. Not that she cares about stuff like that, but if she knew I think she might start to wonder.” I didn’t want to finish by saying that she’d begin to wonder how many people he killed to earn all that money. “I mean she doesn’t have all the answers, but neither do I.”
“Do you need all the answers?”
He tried to tell me many times how horrible he was before he met me, but I didn’t want to know then, and I certainly didn’t want to know now. I’d seen a glimpse of it when he killed Ricky and Jack right before my eyes, and that was frightening enough for one lifetime. “No. If you want to discuss it someday I’ll listen, but you won’t change the way I feel about you, Micah.”
He was getting ready to rebut me, but I quickly added, “Pack your stuff, please. Come home with me. We don’t have to sleep together, but I would just like having you in the house. Please,” I added once more for emphasis.
He leaned into me and put a final slow kiss on my mouth, “All right, but if your mom even hints that she’s uncomfortable with me being there, I’ll be back here at the hotel before you can start begging me not to go.”
“Deal.” I knew she would welcome him into our home. Mom understood me well enough to know that if I decided Micah was the man for me, there was no need to worry about the rest.
He packed and checked out and then followed me back home.
I never expected Mom to be angry when I walked into the house, and I was afraid Micah would turn tail and run, but he was very patient as Mom let off a little steam.
“All I’m saying, honey, is what if something had happened? You took off from here without telling me that you were going. You didn’t call Micah until you got to his hotel. What if something happened between here and there? I would have thought you were with Micah, and Micah would have thought you were home. Who knows how long it might have been before we started looking for you.”
“You’re absolutely right, Nadia,” Micah interjected, as if he was suddenly seeing what she was so upset about. “It could have ended in disaster if something had gone wrong.”
I rolled my eyes. Now I was getting scolded on both sides. “But—”
That was as far as Mom would let me go. “I’d rather have Micah stay here at our house, Leese, than for you to go traipsing off in the middle of the night to discuss your bad dreams.”
I finally smiled, “Yeah, I think that would be best.” I turned to look at him as he forced his smile to stay hidden, “Couldn’t you just stay here in one of our spare rooms?”
“On
ly if Nadia doesn’t mind me—”
“Of course not, Micah,” she cut him off before he could finish the sentence. “We have five extra bedrooms, besides the apartment down by the pool cabana. I know you two are…” A light blush crossed her cheeks, “…are saving things for your wedding night, but as far as I’m concerned—and God as well I’m sure—you’ve already made the important commitments to each other—but I do understand the waiting thing,” she added to make sure it didn’t sound like she was giving a blanket blessing to run upstairs and throw ourselves into bed.
I kissed her cheek, “I love you, Mom.”
By late afternoon we were seated on the pool deck watching Kimmy splash around with a friend that had come over to play. Mom was in the house calling a caterer to have dinner brought in tonight. I told her Micah and I could handle the cooking (Mom, unfortunately, was a terrible cook), but she said we’d save that for tomorrow night and let someone else do it tonight. She actually said she was considering hiring a live-in chef since everything was over concerning Robert. She was now living without the constant foreboding fear that everyone that came into our home was suspect. She returned to being the happy person she had been before grandpa died.
“So, are you finally going to tell me about this terrible dream,” Micah asked as he let his fingers trail down my arm.
I had almost forgotten about it, “It’s—it’s not really important now.”
“You drive through a downpour and end up in my bed in the wee hours of the morning and now you say it isn’t important?”
“I don’t even like thinking about it; it was so stupid.”
“Stupid-stupid or scary-stupid?”
“Scary stupid,” I glanced at his face and then went back to watching the girls.
“Well, then I want to hear it,” he stated firmly. “Was I in it?”
My insides went tingly, “Yeah, at the end anyway. It doesn’t matter because I’d never—you’d never…” I didn’t want to continue. “You want another drink?” I dodged, taking his glass and started to rise from the lounger.
02 Unforgivable - Untouchable Page 1