I smiled, “I was willing. I had to tell him something.”
“What?”
“That I booked him a room with a guest door—to my mother’s suite.”
He grinned and gave a small chuckle, “You are never going to stop surprising me, are you?”
I pulled him into my arms and kissed him softly, “I certainly hope not.”
At that moment we heard the sound of someone coming out to the garden, and, as we turned to see who it was, Ryan was standing there, but abruptly retreated to go back inside.
“Ryan,” Micah called out to him.
He paused and looked at us.
Micah lifted my hand toward him, “Have you danced with the bride yet?”
He didn’t say a word; he crossed the short distance between us and accepted my hand.
Micah kissed my cheek and went back inside, once again trying his wings out at not being jealous.
“I asked them to play a special song,” he stated, a light blush came across his cheeks. “I don’t know if they have—”
At that moment the music began to flow from the reception hall and I could hear the Michael W. Smith song, Friends are Friends Forever, begin to play.
“Would you like to dance?” he asked quite gallantly.
“You don’t have to ask,” I smiled and went into his arms. “I like the song choice; it’s perfect.”
He gave a heavy sigh and continued to dance.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
He looked down at me with those big blue eyes and said he had lousy timing.
“What do you mean?”
“I had the chance to start at PHS in the fall last year, but I drug my feet until March. If I’d have…” He shook his head and went silent.
It didn’t matter, I knew what he was thinking and I was surprised at myself as the realization hit me that he was absolutely right. “If you’d have started sooner, I’d be with you instead of Micah?”
A half smile emerged, “Definitely. I liked you from the moment I met you in English class. I think I’d have had my work cut out for me, but I’d like to think you’d have eventually come around.”
I blushed. “I would have,” I confirmed for him. “But I’m sure God intended for us to just be friends, really good friends.” But it was time to change the subject because the hold he had on me was getting firmer, “So you’ll start back at school next week. What’s after that?”
“I’ll finish up at PHS since they have the Air Force ROTC program and then it’s on to Colorado Springs.”
I raised my eyebrows without thinking, “What’s there?”
“The United States Air Force Academy; I have a full scholarship.”
“Wow, that’s pretty impressive, but…”
“But what?”
“What happened to Eglin? I thought you’d be staying in Florida.”
“No, I just had family at Eglin.”
An odd pang hit me hard in the chest as the thought of Ryan flying into a war zone crossed my mind, “H—how long does it take to become a pilot?”
“I’m already a pilot,” he replied as smoothly as if he was telling me he was male, “but it takes a bachelor’s degree from the Academy, officer’s training and a lot of other things to fly in the Air Force.”
I took in a comforting breath; a lot can happen in four years, and maybe the world will be a more peaceful place when the time comes for him to hit the sky.
“So how about you? Does your life end here tonight?” he asked.
I know the color drained from my face, “What?” The shock I felt was clearly communicated in my single word question.
“I mean are you forgetting about college and a career? I’m seeing him as a ‘keep-her-barefoot-and-pregnant’ kind of guy.”
I rolled my eyes and felt the color returning to my cheeks, “He’s already told me he doesn’t want me to be a teenage mother and, to answer the first part of that question, I haven’t decided yet exactly what I want to do, but whatever it is it won’t be for the money—I have that covered.”
He laughed, a big grin spread across his face, “Yeah, I know that’s right.” He spun me slowly in time to the music and then the smile faded, “So I guess this is gonna be it for us—I wish it wasn’t.”
“Why does this have to ‘be it’ for us? Can’t we keep in touch?”
“No one ever does that, Leese. Everyone has good intentions and then they drift apart and the years slip by, and before you know it, we’ll only be a memory for each other.”
“Geez, Ryan, that’s a depressing statement,” I frowned. I truly didn’t want this to be it. He and Micah were the most unique people in my life. Micah and I were pledged to having forever together, but how do you keep a friend from slipping away?
“It’s true. You have a new life in front of you that doesn’t include your friends. But,” he added with a sweet look on his face, “I’ll never, ever forget you.” His lips came against my cheek and rested there for a long moment. “I don’t suppose,” he whispered, “You’d approve if I moved this to your lips, would you?”
I returned the kiss to his cheek, “No—these lips are for my husband. But I guarantee you that I won’t forget you either.” I wasn’t expecting to cry, but I felt the sting coming on, “Are you staying at the Acqualina like most of the guests?” I was trying to find any reason for this not to be the last time I would see his face.
“I’ll spend a couple nights, but then it’s back to Pensacola.” The song was ending and he gave me a firm squeeze and kissed my forehead, “Love you, Leese,” he said, turning me loose and walking away.
One tear slipped down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away as Micah came around the corner to bring me back inside where our guests were waiting. I know he saw it, but he also knew I considered Ryan a good friend.
He pulled me on to the dance floor, “I think this will be our last dance tonight, here anyway,” he added with a sultry look so hot I could feel it on my skin.
“Special request?” I asked.
“Definitely, baby. Your request.”
“My request?”
“I think you’ll remember,” he smiled, centering us on the dance floor as the guests moved away and the lights dimmed.
As the music began, I realized it was the song I picked when he slow danced with me in my music studio at home. The blush felt as if it covered me from head to toe as I’ll Make Love to You, began to fill the room.
“Are you ready?” he whispered in an echo to the singer’s words, “I’ll hold you tight, baby, all through the night…tonight is your night.”
“Oh, Micah,” I whispered back, “I didn’t think tonight was ever going to arrive. I’m ready to spend the first night of the rest of my life in your arms. Let’s go.”
The next thing I knew we were running for the open limousine door as our guests blew a shower of bubbles over the walkway.
The hotel was only minutes away and before I could even collect my thoughts we were in the elevator and on the way up to our suite. Micah became very quiet, but his eyes were speaking volumes about what was going through his mind. I couldn’t stop the constant blush that waved across my skin as he held me in his gaze.
When we reached the door, he opened it and then swept me off my feet and carried me inside, “We made it, baby—I can’t believe we’re finally here.”
“Me either,” I said, smiling up at him.
“I was thinking, since we’ve been so patient, there is no reason to rush tonight. I’d like to get comfortable and dance with you some more.”
I was pleasantly surprised, especially since I was scared, but I didn’t want to tell him I was feeling this way.
He came around behind me, his lips caressing my bare shoulders and neck as he slowly unzipped my gown. His mouth followed the zipper down to the base of my spine. He was kneeling on the floor when he finished, his steel hands holding my hips as he placed kisses on my lower back.
I turned and looked into those eyes
so filled with love as I allowed the gown to slip to the floor. He offered me his hand and I stepped out of it. I could see the flush of heat on his skin as he looked at me in my lacy white bustier, panties, and garter.
“Go ahead and slip on something comfortable,” he said through husky vocal cords.
I disappeared into the bedroom, putting away my gown and pulling out the silk, white baby doll outfit I had chosen for tonight. I hadn’t realized how badly I was shaking until I tried to put it on.
When I returned to where he was waiting, I noticed he removed most of the trappings of his full tuxedo and was down to just the slacks and his dress shirt, untucked and the buttons undone. I hadn’t shown him my outfit when I bought it; I wanted it to be a surprise and from the look on his face I knew he liked my choice.
He had the stereo softly playing love songs in the background as he opened his arms and pulled me in close, “Leese, I can’t even begin to describe how much I love you—it may sound a little weird, but it almost hurts.”
It didn’t sound weird to me. I’d been feeling the ache and hurt inside me since the first time I realized I was falling in love with him, “I know what you mean; I feel the same way.”
We danced around the living room for quite some time as the heat and the desire to take the final step into forever became overwhelmingly powerful.
His breathing became shallow and quick as he finally confessed he didn’t want to wait any longer and asked, if I was ready, could he take me to the bedroom?
“Yes, Micah,” I whispered, “I’m ready. Make love to me, baby.” I looked into those eyes and knew there was no turning back now. He was holding me to his chest as he carried me to the bed. The moonlit Atlantic sparkled beyond the large glass doors leading out to our balcony. I had two candles burning, but otherwise the room was dim.
He kissed me long and deep when he laid me back on the bed. His hands, hands that had always been careful not to be sexual, hands that had not caressed my breasts, nor inner thighs began to command my body. My back arched with need as he slipped the straps from my shoulders, kissing the places as he exposed them. His hot mouth suddenly suckling and caressing my breasts, and I felt all semblances of my control erode as I began to beg for him, to experience him, to give all I had to him.
His hands stopped as they gripped the sides of my panties, and he looked at me. I was lost somewhere in a place of tremendous need as I returned the gaze and begged him not to stop. I never expected him to kiss and caress what he was uncovering, but it was the most unique sensation I’d ever experienced as his mouth buried against the center of my desire.
I pulled away from him, sliding upward into the bed with what must have been a look of fright on my face.
“Are you okay, Leese? Did I do something wrong?” he whispered.
“I’ve never felt this way, Micah,” I choked out. “I’m scared.”
“I just thought you’d like to get off before—”
“Get off what?” I was down to bare skin; there wasn’t anything else to remove.
His head cocked sideways as he pulled himself up to look into my eyes, “Leese, I know you’ve never had sex, but you’ve gotten off before—the shower in the bungalow, you…” An unusual look spread across his face. “All you did was take a shower?”
“What else would I do in the shower?”
“No wonder it didn’t help you,” he whispered, kissing the tip of my nose. “You’ve never had an orgasm? Baby, I didn’t know you were that virgin.”
All I knew was that an orgasm was a sexual experience and something I thought was to be saved for tonight, “Don’t I need you for that?”
He smiled slowly, “No, but I’m certainly glad you’ve saved it for me.”
“But, how could I—”
“That’s why you stopped me. You were starting to feel it coming on weren’t you?”
“I don’t know what that was, but I was afraid I was getting ready to lose my grip on reality—because that wasn’t real.”
“Don’t be afraid, baby, I promise you, it’s real and you’ll like it,” he crooned.
“But I’ll lose control,” I started to tear up, that was the true reason why I had him stop; I realized something was getting ready to happen I couldn’t control.
“Baby, we’re both going to lose control tonight, but it’s okay because that’s all a part of making love. I’m going to take control of you and you are going to do the same to me.”
“I don’t know how,” I cried softly, a tear running down my cheek.
He wiped the tear away and smiled, “You do, whether you know it or not. You’ve got control of me right now and I’d do anything to please you.”
I nodded, “Then let me take your clothes off.”
He rose from the bed and I followed, slowly removing his shirt and kissing and caressing his fabulous body. I knelt in front of him as I undid his waistband.
His hands reach down and stopped me, “I don’t think I can handle you doing this part, Leese.”
“No. Please, Micah. No boundaries tonight, let me take them off you.”
I could tell he was fighting to retain his ability to be in charge of his desire so he wouldn’t do what he threatened that morning in the Hyatt. I knew he was ready to grab me and collide with me in the bed, but with tremendous effort he permitted me to remove his slacks. He closed his eyes and I could see his hands clinch as I began to lower his boxers to the floor, but as I did, I permitted myself the first opportunity to touch his body intimately and he snapped.
I didn’t even have time to react as my body was moved from kneeling on the floor to lying underneath him on the bed. My heart was pounding so hard it was painful, his teeth biting firmly but gently on my shoulder. He kept repeating “Baby, baby, oh baby,” as he pulled me against himself, parts of our bodies touching that I had never experienced. He kissed me hard, and then broke the kiss.
He must have seen the fear on my face as he began to calm, “I can’t hurt you, Leese. I’ve got to slow down.”
“Micah, I’m ready for you to hurt me,” I said with an unsteady voice, my hips rising to meet his and my calves keeping him from pulling away from me. “Don’t stop. I need you.”
He was still working on control as he lowered his body against mine.
The heat alone was enough for strange sensations to hit me. I felt his body push as my body resisted. I gasped for my breath.
He looked at me as a strange smile appeared on his face, “She’s right. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I need you to guide me, Leese. You’re going to have to show me where it feels right for you.”
I was truly frightened to touch him intimately again, the last time was explosive enough, but I could tell he was ready for the sensation of my hand this time. He moaned deeply as I placed him where my sensations seemed to culminate, where need, desire, and heat centered themselves.
“Now, baby?” he asked.
I nodded as he pushed again. I didn’t mean to sink my nails into his back, but I couldn’t help myself as my body resisted him.
He knew what would help me forget the pain, as his mouth descended on to mine and he kissed me with all the emotion he had the very first time our lips ever met, stealing away my ability to breathe. His hips thrust and the barrier gave way.
I gasped and cried out, a mingling of pain and pleasure enveloped me.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his body stopped all forward movement.
I was still catching my breath, a feeling mounting that was completely foreign to me and it frightened me to the core. It felt as if someone inside me that I never knew had been awakened and was about to take over.
He pressed again and once more my body was resisting. I knew there was more of him waiting to enter as he pressed again. I was losing my fear of what was about to happen and instead I was building to some invisible anticipation of what was taking place inside me.
“I can’t, Leese. I’m sorry, but it feels like I’m going to tear you in
two.”
“No, please…ah…Micah, don’t stop,” I panted. “I need you, baby…ah.” The experience was beginning to overwhelm me.
He pressed harder and the barrier gave way.
I didn’t mean to get loud, but I couldn’t help myself as he moved rhythmically within me, shock waves of pleasure coursing through me. I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t stop what he had put into motion inside me as I rode over the top of the new sensation.
He cried out, and I suddenly realized he was joining me in this feeling as our bodies no longer had a separation where one ended and the other began.
He held me for the longest time as he slowed his breathing, kissing my temple, my cheek, the tip of my nose, my lips, and chin. “Baby,” he said, choked by emotion, “I’ve never… You are the most perfect thing I’ve ever known in my life and definitely worth the wait. I love you.”
He began to pull away when I finally found my voice, “Please, can we stay this way for a little while? I don’t want this to end just yet.”
“Baby,” he crooned in his velvety voice, “this is only the beginning; we’ve got a lifetime to enjoy each other.”
My nightmare flashed in my mind and I tried to tell myself there was no reason to worry anymore, we made it, “Please,” I begged.
He wrapped me in those steel bands and pulled me in tight, “Anything you want, anything.”
Eventually, we became drowsy and relaxed.
“Would you take a shower with me?” he whispered.
I was so comfortable, but the idea was appealing and had been appealing since he asked me that same question back when we were staying in the bungalow. I looked up and smiled from some place cuddled deep against his chest, “I’d like that.”
I sat up, feeling the soreness I hadn’t experienced until I started moving. Micah came up behind me as I leaned forward to compensate for the ache, but he realized what I was doing. He pressed his bare body to my back and reached around and allowed his hands to rub my abdominals gently.
“Does it hurt, baby?” he asked, placing a kiss on my shoulder.
I nodded, pressing my hands to his and holding pressure against the cramping feeling.
02 Unforgivable - Untouchable Page 8