by Brinda Berry
Harper makes her way back to the sofa. I’m distracted by the way her khaki shorts cling to her perfectly round ass. She’s thin, but her ass is this masterpiece that would fit in my hands—
“Did you even hear what I said?” Josie’s impatient voice interrupts my fantasy. “Your mind is somewhere else, isn’t it.”
It’s like my sister has ESP. Which is creepier than hell when it comes to some things you don’t want your sister to know. “What do you need? I’ve got to get back to work,” I answer in a rough, no-nonsense voice.
“I said, since you’re obviously not working, can Dane and I come over?”
“You’re with Dane? You guys went on a date?”
“No. I helped him close tonight.” Her tone challenges me to ask anything else.
“Oh,” I say, not in the mood to antagonize her.
“I had a drink at Dastardly’s and then helped him close. Let us come over. It’ll be fun. When’s the last time you had fun?”
Harper is watching me and when I catch her, she looks back to the television.
I sigh. “All right. You guys can drop by.”
“Good. See you guys in a few,” Josie says with barely contained glee.
“Bye.” I walk over to hand Harper the phone. “Josie’s coming over. And Dane. I should’ve asked if you can stay a while. I’m sure she’s coming to see you.”
Harper takes the phone from me and our fingers brush. A frisson of electricity passes between us that jolts me into needing more contact. I’m suddenly like a junkie, wondering if it’ll feel that good a second time and with more skin. Lots of skin.
I back away and return to my desk. What’s wrong with me? It’s true I’ve been without a girlfriend for almost a year. That doesn’t mean I’ve been celibate. It doesn’t mean I’ve been satisfied either.
Hooking up is what it is…a brief meeting of two lonely bodies in the night. The problem is that one-night stands always leave me thinking about my ex-girlfriend later. I’m not ready to be relationship screwed again, so I end up avoiding a second time around with anyone.
Tori. She couldn’t tell the truth if the fate of all mankind depended on it. Each time I see her name on my cell phone display, I cringe. She won’t accept that it’s over between us, and I’m not opening that door a crack in case I’m weak enough to walk through it again.
I sit at my desk, staring at my computer and wondering if there’s a possibility of something between me and Harper. She’s visited daily to borrow books, and now watch TV. But I’m not sure if she’s into me or not.
I decide to give up on getting any work done and wait until Josie and Dane arrive. The television shares a wall with my desk. My desk is at the wrong angle to see the movie well, something I did on purpose when I arranged the furniture in this room.
Harper’s so into the scene that it’s like her body’s been dragged inside the movie. Her hands ball into tight fists in her lap and send distress waves across the room. My desire to comfort her drives me to my feet.
“Which movie is this?” I stand and move to the center of the room, my arms folded.
“What Dreams May Come. It’s an old one.”
“I don’t remember it. Robin Williams, huh. So, what’s this about?”
“He died and then his wife commits suicide. He’s searching for her in hell,” Harper says in a tight voice without ever looking away from the screen. The movie is doing a number on her emotions.
I’m thinking about her phenomenal ass and conversation skills, and she’s thinking about her dead husband.
Perfect.
“Harper?”
She glances over at me, then gives a slow blink as if to ground herself in this time and space. “Yeah?”
It bugs me that she’s watching this movie and it’s putting her head in a place from her past. I want her emotionally here in my apartment, not back in Washington. It’s selfish, I know. But I am always honest with myself. Lying to yourself is the ultimate betrayal, a foolish indulgence which only gets you into more trouble. I smile so she’ll focus on my face and remember she’s sitting in my living room. “I think Josie and Dane will be here in ten minutes or less. Want to help me see if I have something to eat?”
“Oh,” she says and straightens. She looks once more at the television and then hops to her feet in a single move, blonde hair swinging around her shoulder. “Sure. Sorry.”
I take several steps and turn the television off. There’s no way I want to compete with the movie.
“I have guacamole dip in the fridge if you’ll get it out for us.” I take one step to the right and bump into Harper. “Sorry, babe.”
The endearment slips out. I’m not even sure where it came from, but she’s been around so much lately that I’ve grown comfortable with her. Also, there’s the fact I’ve been thinking of her in a different way. Maybe I should ask her out. Maybe she would cleanse the bad taste that Tori left. Then I back away from the idea because I get the feeling Harper’s not ready.
“I, um…Guacamole.” She walks quickly to the fridge and sticks her entire head in as she pokes around looking for it. Her head pops up above the door. “You sure have a lot of food in here.”
“Just went grocery shopping last night. The guys are coming over here to play poker this week, so I needed supplies.”
“You have a lot of liquor.”
I laugh. “My friends drink a lot.”
She doesn’t say anything and pulls out a plastic container of store made guacamole. “Do you have chips?”
“Cabinet to your right.”
She turns and opens the door. The cabinets hang high on the wall and she tiptoes to reach the bag of chips on a shelf.
“Here. Let me.” I move behind her and reach above her head to grab the chips. With one hand resting on her shoulder, I lean in and retrieve it.
Her entire body tenses with the touch and she turns her head the slightest amount to stare into my eyes. Flecks of green glimmer in her hazel eyes, reminding me again of cool water.
A man could lie down in that gaze and drown.
“I’m in the way,” she says and looks away.
“You’re fine. Don’t move.” There’s other things in the cabinet that I hadn’t intended to get but suddenly seem like a good idea. Dane and Josie will be more interested in what I have to drink than eat. “What about pita chips? You like those?” I reach up to the shelf again.
She takes a step to the side and twists, so her body angles toward mine. We’re two magnets, naturally pulling together until our bodies touch. Harper’s face tilts up and her cheeks turn pink.
She wants me to kiss her. I don’t doubt it. I lean closer and bring my mouth within inches of hers.
My apartment door opens. “Honey, we’re home.” Josie sings the phrase, doing her best to imitate something she’s heard from an old TV show.
Harper pulls in a quick breath and shoves at my chest to put distance between us. I stumble back until the island bar hits my ass.
Is she embarrassed by Josie seeing us so close? If anything, Josie would throw a party to celebrate my interest in just about anyone, after Tori.
“Heard of knocking?” I ask Josie. Dane trails in behind her and gives Harper a curious look.
Josie raises one eyebrow but otherwise ignores me. “Hey, Harper. Cute outfit.” She walks to the bar and places a brown paper takeout bag from Dastardly’s on the counter. “We come bearing gifts.”
Harper peers into the bag and her eyes widen. “More liquor?”
I slide the bag to me and remove a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of daiquiri mix, and a bottle of rum. “She travels equipped.”
“Not my fault,” Josie says. “Dane’s trying to get me wasted so he can take advantage of me. As if…”
Dane smirks. “My plan has been discovered. Since Josie won’t have me, maybe Harper will succumb to my charms.”
His comment is said lightly enough that I know he’s kidding. Dane walks over to the other side of the bar near
Harper and slings an arm over her shoulders.
“She’s smarter than that, man.” I chuckle, but there’s an uncomfortable panic that pelts me like a sudden hailstorm.
Dane is a flirt. He’s always been ballsy and confident. But I don’t want him making Harper think he’s really interested.
And then there’s Josie. In the second Dane has so carelessly paid attention to Harper, my sister’s expression has fallen into a gloomy pit of doom.
Fuck Dane for being such an asshole.
“Let’s mix some drinks then, people.” I glance at Josie. “Can you grab something for me? Shot glasses are in my desk drawer.”
“What the hell?” Dane laughs. “You doing the Hemingway thing and doing shots while you write?”
“You know who Hemingway is? I’m so impressed,” I say dryly. Maybe the dude does read.
Thank God, he moves away from Harper. I exhale and hand the chips and dip to Harper. “Can you put these on the table?”
I spend several minutes helping Dane make daiquiris and wondering how to defuse the tension he’s caused with Josie. I love my sister and could kick his ass.
Josie stands at the far end of the room and hooks her phone to my stereo speaker. Dane watches her as she absently dances to the music she starts. The noise muffles what she and Harper are saying to each other.
I pour daiquiris into two glasses for the girls and tilt my head toward Dane. “When in God’s name are you two going to stop pretending?”
“Pretending what?” He examines a bottle opener he’s taken from my drawer. Dane grins. “There’s a breast for the handle.”
“Put it back. Groomsman gift. I didn’t buy it. Back to my question. You and Josie need to go out and start acting like grownups.” I give him a cold stare but know he’s not going to answer. Chickenshit.
I grab the two drinks and carry them to the table.
Josie turns the music down and meets me before I can set hers down. “Thanks!” She sips the icy drink.
Dane takes a chair on the opposite side of the table and sets down a couple of cans of soda tucked into the curve of his arm like a football. In his other hand, he holds the bottle of whiskey and promptly breaks the seal. “What do you guys want to do?” he asks.
I sit in the chair closest to where Harper’s been waiting. Josie takes the remaining seat.
“Let’s play ‘Have you ever.’” Josie pushes Harper’s drink in front of her.
“What are we? Twelve?” I ask and take the shot that Dane slides toward me.
“I hope not,” Josie answers. “Twelve-year-olds should not be drinking.”
Dane downs his shot. “I’m down with it. How does this game work? I haven’t played.”
“Liar,” Josie says. “I ask the first question, ‘Have you ever?’ and then everyone who has must drink.”
“I don’t know about this. This game doesn’t seem like a good idea.” Harper’s voice hesitates like we’ve asked her to participate in a bank robbery.
Any other girl and I might think she’s playing innocent, but not Harper. Man, she’s cute.
Josie shrugs. “If you don’t want to play, we won’t.”
“I’ve never played any party games.” Harper takes a sip of drink and sits forward. “I want to.”
I lay my hand flat on the table and tap with the beat of the music. I’m dying to play this stupid game. I can think of all kinds of things I’ll discover about Harper.
But my motives are childish and selfish. Temptation beats a drum while chanting that I give in. I inhale. “Let’s just play cards,” I say.
Dane uses two fingers to nudge the shot glass. “Drink up, buddy.”
“You don’t want to play?” Harper’s eyes glitter.
I raise one eyebrow. Then I make sure to look at Harper when I say my next words in case she needs an out. “I’ll play if everyone wants to.”
Josie looks to her left at Harper. “Here we go. Have you ever gotten arrested?” She raises her daiquiri to her lips. “Cheers,” she says and takes a huge drink.
Harper’s mouth drops into a cute little ‘O’ and she exhales. “Not me.”
Dane takes the shot glass and upends it.
I grin at him. “Man, this doesn’t bode well for you.”
Josie turns to Harper again. “This is going to be fun. Your turn to ask a question.”
“Have you ever cheated on a test?” Harper asks.
Dane rolls his eyes. “I cheat on every test.”
Harper drinks from her daiquiri. “This tastes pretty good.”
I don’t take a drink and grin while Dane and Josie take their penalty.
I’m up for a question. What do I want to know about Harper? Maybe a sure bet so she’ll have to drink. “Have you ever gossiped?”
We all take a drink. Harper’s grin warms my chest. Or maybe it’s the whiskey. Either way, I’m starting to feel mellow.
“My turn,” Dane says. He pours liquor in both our shot glasses.
At this rate, I’m going to be wasted long before the girls finish their little icy drinks. Shit.
“Have you ever wished you were with someone else while on a date?” Dane asks.
I grin. Dane is an asshole. I lift my shot glass and so do Dane and Josie. “So much for romance,” I say and drink the shot in one long pull.
We continue with a few inane questions that have us laughing because everything now qualifies as funny. Josie gets up from the table several times to make more daiquiris and brings one for Harper every time she refills her own.
It’s Harper’s turn and she stares at the table in concentration. No one rushes her. Finally, she raises her head. “Have you ever loved someone? I mean really, truly loved?”
The music still plays in the background, but there’s a sonic boom sound in my head and my entire body clenches in response to the question. I didn’t see that coming.
I take the shot in one gulp. The heat of the liquor burns my throat. The sensation is a welcome assault after that question.
I cannot take my eyes off Harper. It’s such a serious question to ask. And then, she surprises me by not taking a drink.
8
Silver Lining
Harper
“Have you ever loved someone? I mean really, truly loved?” I ask.
A languid blanket of euphoria folds around my body, and I sit back in my chair. Leo and Dane and Josie are all looking at me with room-sized expectation on their faces. I stare at the table so they won’t influence my answer.
This drinking game should really be called the truth game. The truth shall set you free. Where have I heard that? The author who penned it must be the smartest person in the universe.
Because with only a few truths during this game, I am liberated.
Truth. I’ve done things in spite of my parents’ rigid rules when I lived in their house.
Truth. Some of those things were fun and some were downright stupid.
Truth. I’m not sure I was ever really in love with Wesley. I was in love with love. Can you love someone and then hate him so much you can’t stand the sight of him? Was I justified because he was a lying, cheating coward?
That seems like a fickle attitude. I married someone before God and witnesses at the chapel in Las Vegas. How can I ever trust that I will recognize love if I married a guy I only thought I loved?
I know I wouldn’t go searching into hell for Wesley like the guy in the movie did.
What was my question? I look to Leo for help.
“My turn,” Leo says.
Oh yeah. We are still playing the game.
I study the glass in front of me. Several rounds earlier, Josie brought me a different mixed drink. It’s soda with liquor and doesn’t taste as good as the daiquiris, but I drink the concoction anyway.
Leo, Leo, Leo. I lift my gaze to meet his. A sigh escapes my lips, and I stare at him and his very nice lips. It doesn’t matter that he can see me staring. Because the truth is, it makes me happy to look at him, espe
cially his mouth. I love his mouth.
Leo takes a drink from his shot glass even though I don’t think he’s asked a question. This makes me laugh. Well, he’s certainly not playing by the rules of the game. Question, first. Drink, second.
He closes his eyes for a second and when he opens them, he looks straight at me. “Have you ever had sex outside?”
Dane tips up the shot glass without hesitating or watching to see if anyone else will drink. Josie shakes her head and smirks.
I think hard. “Does inside a car count?” I ask.
Leo leans both elbows on the table, seeming to think about my question. “No. It has to be you and your lover in the great outdoors. Maybe you’re on a blanket in the meadow with only the stars as a moonlight ceiling. Or he’s pushed you up against a tree—”
Josie groans. “No details,” she slurs loudly. “Ugh. Sister, here. Remember I’m here.” She points at herself so we won’t doubt her location.
Dane raises a hand like he’s getting a teacher’s attention in class. “I have. In an alley. That’s not a meadow, but it counts.”
Leo grins and turns his head toward Dane. “You are so predictable.”
“It was hot.” Dane raises an eyebrow. “Believe me.”
“No drink for me,” I answer. And then I take a drink from my glass anyway.
Leo takes his shot, but his gaze never leaves mine. His image must be in the dictionary beside the word ‘sexy’ and I vow to tell him this someday, when I feel bolder.
The way he stares at me makes my body tingle and my nipples tighten, in direct contrast to the way my brain slows. I want to tell him how he makes me feel. No. That would be disastrous for some reason.
I search my mind for the reason I shouldn’t grab him and push him into the bedroom. Perhaps, this drink is three drinks too many.
“I need to go home,” I say.
“I’ll walk you.” Leo gets to his feet.
“No, I know the address.” I giggle at my own joke.
Leo grabs my elbow. “I’ll make sure.”
“OK. But we are not having sex in a meadow.” I smirk.
Leo doesn’t respond. He could’ve argued at the very least. Even pretending he wanted to have sex with me would’ve made me exponentially happy.