“Danki,” Zach said. “Awfully cold out.”
The man said nothing, but yelled upstairs for his daughter to come down and meet the new parents. His tone sent a shiver down Ella’s spine; this man sure wanted to get rid of his grandson. She heard a girl’s voice screaming upstairs and her heart sank; it was Lavina, the piercing cry of a mamm who loved her boppli. She bowed her head and prayed for this poor girl, who shared her heart so freely in her letters. Lavina had never known the love and acceptance of a man, any man, not even her daed. She looked for that love in other men, even men she barely knew. Her kneel down confession in front of so many in her church, told her that Lavina was brave, and Ella was determined to raise this little boy to be brave, too, like his natural mamm.
Ella heard another scream and grabbed Zach around the middle and buried her head in his chest. This was not what she’d expected. She’d hoped Lavina would greet them and happily hand over the child. This was a bad dream. Were they doing the right thing by taking her baby? She felt Zach’s body jerk and looked up to see he was crying. She turned to see a woman coming down the stairs, a baby peeking out at her from a white knit blanket. Joy welled in her and she started to laugh and cry at the same time. It shocked her that she felt love for a child she’d never seen; a love that would die for this little infant. This must be a mamm’s heart, she thought. The woman handed her the baby and she nestled his cheek against hers. She turned to Zach who was openly weeping and handed him their son. Ella nodded to the woman, who must be the oma. She saw that tears were in her eyes, but she lifted up a finger, telling them to wait while she fetched the other boppli…his twin?
~*~
Lizzie looked at Fannie, Melvin, and Roman from across the store counter. “Any questions?”
Fannie grinned. “Lizzie, you’ll only be gone for a week, jah? I think we can manage.”
Melvin smiled at Fannie. “Jah, your daed will be here if we have questions.”
Lizzie looked at Roman, who seemed so somber. “Roman, any questions?”
“Jah, are you only staying a week?”
Lizzie didn’t know what to say, since she wasn’t sure how long she needed to be gone. What if the counselor said she needed to stay for a month? She’d have to. Why she never thought of going to counseling before was a mystery, but when Luke was told he needed it, it seemed as plain as day she needed it, too. Or maybe she was now willing to talk about her secret, since it affected others. When Melvin called off their courtship, she knew she’d stay the same as the old rusted out water pump back in the cornfield if she didn’t get some kind of healing oil.
“Lizzie, will you be back in a week?” Roman repeated.
“I, ah, might visit other relatives…”
Fannie tilted her head. “I thought you only had one cousin out there.”
“Well, there’s a distant relative I should meet, and cousin Lydia wanted me to meet some of her friends.” Her eyes met Roman’s and she felt her mouth grow dry. Why was it she felt Roman could see right through her? Because he was the only other person who knew her secret, yet threw her away like an old dish rag. She felt a knot in her stomach and grabbed at her middle.
“Are you okay?” Fannie asked.
Lizzie let out nervous laughter. “Maybe I have low blood sugar like Maryann. I do feel a little dizzy.” She plopped down on the stool behind her. “Just need a glass of water.”
She was surprised to see Roman run to the door leading to the house. What a mystery he is. No one had caused her as much joy and sorrow at the same time. He soon emerged with a glass of orange juice.
“Drink this. It’ll make your sugar go up.”
Lizzie lifted a shaky hand. “Roman… I don’t have a sugar problem.” She took the juice and sipped it. “Most likely fatigue from packing and all the excitement is all.” She saw her daed emerge from the house, making his way to her on his crutches.
“You worry about this store too much. We’ll be fine here. Go to Lancaster and have fun. You’ll meet lots of young folk out there, and not be trapped in a store with your daed.”
Lizzie reached her arms out and embraced her him. “I don’t feel trapped here…honestly.”
“Well, we need to get going,” Fannie said, as she smiled at Melvin. “Have to pick up a clock for Mamm.”
Lizzie noticed Melvin lit up when Fannie looked at him….and she didn’t care.
~*~
Melvin helped Fannie into her buggy. “I’ll follow you down the road, and then we can ride in one buggy over to my shop.”
Fannie pulled the black scarf Granny gave her around her neck, feeling timid. Melvin looked at her, his brown shaggy bangs almost hiding his green eyes. Was it her imagination, or was he looking at her in that special way? He was nine years older and probably only thought of her as a little sister, like Roman did. All men looked at her as a sister…
She pulled onto the road and remembered what Granny had said about reconditioning her mind … and rolled her eyes. Granny had gone so far as to tell her to keep a “compliment journal.” The very thought of it seemed vain, but she started one anyway. She knew Granny struggled with feeling unattractive at her age. She started a list of compliments on a piece of paper. Fannie’s best friend, Hannah, said she heard someone say she was as cute as a button, so she wrote it on this list and kept it hidden in the top drawer of her bedroom dresser. It was a twelve year old boy who said it, but it was a compliment. She wrote what Jonas Miller told her at the store: Her beautiful green eyes were bound to catch her a husband soon. Two things on her list, but it was a start.
Fannie pulled her buggy past the Black Angus cows that dotted the snowy white pasture, and sure enough, they started heading her way. Birds of a feather flock together, she thought, as usual, but caught herself. She sat up straight and spoke out loud the scripture Granny made her memorize. “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14.” She took a deep breath and noticed that feelings of inferiority and self-pity hadn’t swallowed her up like they usually did. Granny sure was wise.
Fannie pulled the horse into its stall attached to their barn, and was surprised that Melvin had pulled up the driveway and was right next to her, ready to help her into his buggy. She could have easily walked to the road, but he said he was afraid she’d fall. Did she hear him right? Did he say fall and scratch that pretty face of hers? She felt like running over in the snow and making a snow angel. Pretty?
“Fannie, are you alright?” Melvin asked.
“Jah, I sure am,” Fannie said, as she took Melvin’s hand as he helped her into his buggy.
When they got out to the road, Melvin stopped the buggy to let a car pass. “I have a confession to make,” he said. “I deliver clocks to customers, but wanted to take you out on a buggy ride…to talk.”
Fannie put her head down, preparing herself to put on the “happy sister” show. Good old Fannie, ready to listen to everybody’s problems. Of course, he wanted to talk about Lizzie. She turned to him. “So, how can I help you?”
Melvin pulled out onto the road and brought the horse to a slow walk. “By just being yourself. You’re so easy to talk to. I like that.”
“So you need advice about Lizzie, and you can talk to me, right?”
Melvin furrowed his bushy brown eyebrows. “Nee, I don’t want to talk about Lizzie. Not at all.” He took her hand. “I’m too old to go to Sunday night singings and ask a girl out on a buggy ride. So I got you to come this way.”
Fannie felt Melvin squeeze her hand, but she felt too shy to talk. Could it be true? Melvin cared for her?
“I’m glad you’ve been stopping over at the shop to check on the clock these past few weeks. Like I said, I can talk to you. Never knew that.”
“You, ah, sure got over Lizzie quick-like. Rumor has it you’ve cared only for her since you were a kinner,” Fannie managed to say.
Melvin grinned. “Gossip has a way of growing somethin
g seed small to a bumper crop. I’ve liked Lizzie for a while, jah, but I’ve courted other girls. Nee, my affections haven’t been on Lizzie for the past month.” He pulled the buggy over on the side of the road, and took her by the shoulders. “Don’t you know what a peach of a girl you are?”
Peach? Was she dreaming?
Melvin took a little white package from his coat pocket. “I made you something for Christmas. Open it.”
Fannie looked at Melvin’s kind eyes, and her fear started to slip away. She opened the gift to find an intricately carved little wooden box. She opened it up to find neatly cut little pieces of paper with handwriting on each one. She picked up one and read, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
Fannie felt anger deep within. She remembered the cruel joke that was played on her in eighth grade, when Samuel Yoder gave her a gift in front of his friends, only to find it was a joke. She heard their mocking laughter ring through her mind and then the image of Lottie, little skinny Lottie. She came over and took the gift, saying Samuel had given it to the wrong girl and it was for her.
She looked into Melvin’s eyes. Was this a joke, too? She put the little box on the buggy seat, and blurted out, “Melvin, I’m not a fool! Give it to Lizzie!”
“Why would I do that? It’s you I have my eye on.”
Fannie put her head in her hands and tried to stop, but just couldn’t and let out a sob. Years of pain came out in a river of tears. She felt Melvin’s arm around her, sometimes stroking her back. Embarrassed, she started to get out of the buggy and slipped, but Melvin caught her and pulled her to himself and held her head to his shoulder. “You’re a beautiful young woman, you need to see that.”
“How?” Fannie gasped, leaning her head on his shoulder.
He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her on the cheek, and then on the lips. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the tears from her cheeks and then picked up the wooden box. He opened it and started to read the Bible verses he wrote on little pieces of paper. He wanted her to carry a few around, so when she felt unloved, or unlovable, she could pull a verse from her apron pocket and see how much God loved her.
Fannie leaned her head on his shoulder and looked over at the cows that came closer to their buggy, and was surprised that she started to laugh.
~*~
Granny poured hot tea into two mugs and placed them on her oak table. “Won’t be quiet here for a while. Let’s enjoy it.” She took up her needle and string and poked another cranberry and slid it down to her ever growing chain. “Ach, the birds will eat these berries up faster than we can string them.”
Jeb sipped his tea. “Well, it’s a tradition I want to keep up. And it’s nice to have some peace and quiet over here.”
She grinned. “Well, I’m used to it being quieter, too. Silas and his bunch are rowdy over at Romans. Sure nice to have him and Beth home for Christmas though, although I sure do wish all my boys could be here.”
Jeb leaned his elbow on the table. “Jah, me too. But Montana is far away.”
Granny knew how her Jeb missed the boys at Christmas, and she looked to change the subject. “Can you believe that Ella and Zach have twins, a boy and girl each? Ach, those two will make the best parents.”
Jeb pulled at his long gray beard. “Zach won’t let Luke over until he sees the doctor. Ella’s afraid that Luke’s not right in the head. .”
“She’s not the only one.” Granny sighed. “You said Luke’s leaning toward quitting that worldly job and living in the dawdyhaus?”
“Jah, told me this morning. But Ruth says she doesn’t want him back. She’s talking nonsense.”
“She’s awful upset, and rightly so,” Granny said. “What a kettle of fish. And Ruth’s family’s supposed to hold church at their place on Christmas. So much stress on all of them.”
“So much stress on the Bishop and elders, but we’ll get through this.” Jeb picked up an oatmeal whoopie pie from the plate that sat on the table and took a bite. “I could live on these…”
They both sat in silence, listening to the tick-tock of the pendulum clock. The wind beat against the windows at a steady pace, and Granny thought of all the shawls they’d made so far for the tornado victims, made her heart swell.
She was startled when Jeb sprang up and ran from the kitchen and out the door. What on earth? Is he so upset about Luke and Ruth he needs to take one of his walks? She got up and looked outside but saw nothing, it being pitch black. You’ll kill yourself on that ice….old man. She went to her white cookie jar, needing a sugar cookie. They were gone? The grandkids had raided her jar again? She huffed and put her hands on her hips, but then chuckled. They didn’t realize just how many cookies she had hidden in containers all over the house. Granny heard the door open and felt a blast of cold air. She turned to see Jeb, riddled with snowflakes all over his black clothes, and saw that he held a large box.
“I just couldn’t wait.” Jeb walked over and gave her a kiss. “Here’s your Christmas present.”
She hugged him, even if his coat was freezing cold. “Danki, love.” Jeb placed the box, wrapped in brown paper, on the table. She sure loved presents and ripped it open in no time. “Ach, Jeb, I love it.”
“When we were stringing the cranberries, it got harder and harder not to give it to you. Made it myself.”
Granny’s eyes misted as she saw the all-white gourd birdhouse. Jeb had grown extra gourds this year and she always wondered why.
“It’s a purple martin feeder,” Jeb said. “They can get in on all four sides.” He picked up the large feeder and pointed to the opening on all four gourds that were attached to make a circle.
Granny looked at Jeb and wondered what she did to get such a loving husband. He hung on her every word. She’d mentioned last summer she’d always wanted a gourd feeder. She loved the feeder, but the fact that Jeb remembered what she’d said … She squeezed Jeb again. “I love you…old man.”
“I love you, too. “ He bent down and kissed her. “I have another present. Suzy ordered it for me.” He ran into the living room and took a small package out of the desk and ran back, handing it to her.
“Amazon? Suzy ordered something from South America? Must have cost a fortune!”
Jeb grabbed the package and stared at it. “Nee, it says $3.25 and doesn’t have any foreign stamps. Must be some company called that in America, I suppose.” Jeb scratched his head. “We’ll have to ask Suzy.”
Granny waved her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m spoiling your surprise.” She ripped open the package and saw a red book with a lady surrounded by younger women. It was called Little Women.
“The lady in that there book had four dochders…you have five.” He pulled her close to him. “Deborah, I know you’ve always wanted girls, and I think the Lord has answered your prayer. I’ve watched you with your knitting circle. They look at you like a mamm.
Granny scrunched her mouth to make her chin not quiver. Was it true? Did the girls think of her as a mamm?
“And the woman who wrote that book never got married, so never had a dochder or a husband. When you read it, be happy you…have me?”
Granny went on her tiptoes to tenderly kiss her dear husband. “Jah, I sure am. Merry Christmas…love.”
~*~
Luke sat between Zach and Jeb and looked around the doctor’s office. Christmas wreathes hung around the room and there was a little tree on a table with a nativity set under it. Joseph looking at his adopted son, Jesus. He thought of Zach’s love for his adopted twins, a boy and a girl, and his joy at being a father. Luke couldn’t wait to see his new nephew and niece, but Ella said he couldn’t see them until he got professional help….from a psychologist. How humiliating it all was, but he’d agreed to take all the steps the bishop had asked him to take. He was touched that the church leaders really cared. The bishop had stepped in not only as his spiritual leader, but as a father figure, and that, along with the help of his brother, made him able to talk about hi
s troubled childhood with Uncle Otis…
When the nurse came into the waiting room and asked him to come back, he was surprised Jeb and Zach got up, too. The nurse told them all about confidentiality and how they should remain seated. Jeb put his arm around him and told the nurse they were all in this together. Was it his imagination? Was the nurse getting tears in her eyes? Why?
~*~
The one-room schoolhouse was packed as usual. Granny stewed inside to think that Jeb would miss this Christmas Eve program, but she knew the doctor in Blairsville had made a special appointment just for Luke, and Jeb wanted to be there for support. Maybe Jenny, Millie, and Tillie would see how caring a man their opa was and not miss his presence too much.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The greenery that the children had decorated the schoolhouse with was pungent and memories flooded her mind of when her boys where in this same place years ago, reading their poems and singing Christmas carols. She thought of her sons who she barely saw, but was grateful they wrote faithfully…and she had her “knitting dochders,” as Jeb called them.
Granny was glad to see Maryann was looking better, color back in her cheeks and no more dizzy spells. She looked over at Ella who had her twins. Praise be. A boy and a girl. She saw Ruth sitting next to Ella, holding one of the twins. She closed her eyes and quickly said a “casting off prayer” so fear concerning Ruth and Luke’s marriage wouldn’t overtake her. She prayed for Luke, admitting to the Lord how hard it was to pray for someone you wanted to slap over the side of the head. After all, the Lord already knew her thoughts…
She saw Fannie walk in just before the program was ready. She was glowing like the candles in the windows. Granny braced herself when she saw that Melvin followed her and then sat down right next to her. Amen! This is the best Christmas present ever! It was clear that Melvin and Fannie really were a couple. Granny wanted to stand up and clap, but only started to giggle. She felt Roman’s hand on her shoulder, asking her if she was alright. Then her son Silas looked concerned. They thought she was losing her mind. This made her giggle all the more.
Smicksburg Tales 1,2 & 3 (Amish Knitting Circle, Amish Friends Knitting Circle & Amish Knit Lit Cirlce ~ Complete Series: 888 pages for Granny Weaver Lovers and 30+ Amish Recipes Page 10