Lavina remembered kneeling in prayer as a kinner. It was a resting time; something she hadn’t done in a while, just trying to survive living in such turmoil. “I need to kneel, too.”
“Look at all the lightning bugs out tonight. As it gets darker we can see them better. Makes me think of dark days in my life, when God’s love seemed to shine brighter.”
“You’ve had dark days?” Lavina thought it hard to believe. She almost envied Nathan for having such a normal family.
“Jah, I’ve had dark days…”
They sat in silence, listening to hush that night brought. The only sound was the clip-clop of horse hooves in the distance. Then a dog’s barking. Both sounds came nearer and nearer, and Lavina hoped the dog was friendly. She squinted her eyes and soon saw Jack. “What are you doing out here?” She could barely make out the black dog, but could tell he was agitated.
Then the buggy came closer and to a halt. Roman jumped out. “Have you seen Jenny?”
“Nee,” Nathans said. “What happened?”
“Ach, she ran away. Left a note saying she’s going to live with the dwarves.”
“But we don’t have any dwarfs here in Smicksburg,” Nathan said. “Wonder where she went.”
Lizzie came around from the other side of the buggy, a hanky up to her nose. “Can yinz search the woods?”
Lavina nodded. She remembered running away as a kinner and she always went to her secret spot. “Is there a place Jenny goes, just to be alone?”
Roman looked down and pulled at his beard. “My minds racing so fast, I can’t think.”
“Her pumpkin patch,” Lizzie gasped. “She said the other day the corn was high around it. A goot place for hide and seek.”
Roman and Lizzie raced back to the buggy and soon the wheels kicked up dust, Jack racing close behind them.
~*~
Lizzie’s throat ached as she called Jenny’s name over and over again, but she was nowhere to be found. Roman took her home in case Jenny came home, being afraid of the dark. She looked up into the star-studded night, and then over to the full moon which gave everyone a better view to see Jenny. Millie and Tillie had been watched by Granny and Jeb, but the anxious grandparents had gone out to look for their granddaughter now, too. All was quiet; much too quiet.
“Why can’t Jenny love me Lord?” Lizzie said as a tear slid down her cheek. “Lord, protect her. The rivers are so high after last week’s rain.”
She reached over to her knitting and began to cast on, just like Suzy had taught her. After casting on thirty stitches she attempted to knit a stitch. But which way did the needle go, in the front or back? Her mind a muddle, she placed the needles in her lap and let out pain she’d been carrying since her wedding day, both sorrow and anger. She had to confess that she was indeed angry with Jenny. Her constant contradictions had been robbing her of a peaceful home.
When her mind started to think ill of Jenny, she always read Rules of a Godly Life. She got up and went inside to get her little brown book that contained the forty-seven proverbs used by the People. Lizzie took the book and sat in her rocker. When she opened it, she read until she got to Part 1: Rule 10:
In tribulation be patient and humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, with these thoughts foremost in your mind: first, that it is God who chasteneth; second, it is for your good; third, God will ease the burden; fourth, He will give you strength to endure; fifth, He will deliver from affliction at an expedient time.
She read it over a few times, and He will give you strength warmed her heart. She was no stranger to affliction, and God was faithful, over time, to always bring comfort or answer to her troubles. She cast her anxiety on God and went back out on the porch to knit. With a clear mind, she was able to make the knit stitch. The feel of the yarn against her fingers and the tapping of the wooden needles soon made the knot in her neck work its way out. After a few rows, she soon dozed off….
~*~
Marge clung on to Joe as they made their way down the steps. She knew Joe’s views on guns, and she vehemently disagreed, being a pacifist in her heart. But Joe felt if someone intruded into their house, they’d be the one getting hurt, and not them.
The noise was on the porch. Marge closed her eyes and hoped it was just a raccoon or other critter, and they could soon shoo it away. They tip-toed to the front window and saw movement; lots of movement. Their rabbits they bought at the auction last night were jumping all over the porch; someone had let them out of their crate. She felt Joe’s arm tense, and to her horror, he cocked his gun and made his way over to the door.
“You can’t shoot someone for letting the rabbits out!” she snapped. “Joe, get a grip.”
He ignored her completely, but opened the door and yelled, “Put your hands up!”
A squeal came from the side of the porch and soon Marge saw Jenny with both hands up in the air. “Oh, my Lord. Joe put the gun down!”
“Already did.” He walked outside, startled. “What are you doing here?”
“I-I came to talk to the bunnies,” Jenny said, eyes wide.
Marge ran out to the porch to comfort the little girl. “Why would you do that? And you’re here alone, so late at night.”
“Bunnies know where the dwarves live…”
Marge leaned closer. “Say that again…”
“You know. Snow White was taken by birds and bunnies to the dwarves. The dwarves love little girls.”
Marge knelt down and embraced Jenny. “Oh, Honey. I know you’ve been having a tough time. Your Grandma told me. But your new mom really loves you.”
“My dad loves her more than me, and he forgot about my mamm.”
Marge took Jenny’s shoulders. “Do you think your dad has a heart problem or something?”
“Nee, he’s fine.”
“I’m glad to hear that, because the way you talked, it seemed like he did. A person with a healthy heart has enough room in it to love lots of people.”
“Really?”
Joe stepped forward. “I felt left out as a kid, too. My parents lived at church….”
Marge glared at Joe. “Now’s not the time.”
“Sure is. We can feel left out for lots of reasons.”
Marge’s eyes softened. “You’re right. Jenny, I felt let out when my little sister was born. All the attention went to the baby, and all of a sudden I was expected to act older.” Marge patted a bench on the front porch while Joe started to collect the baby rabbits. “Sit here, Jenny. “
Jenny snuggled up next to Marge.
“I know your Grandma put you in charge of the pumpkin patch, right?”
“Jah,”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“Like not a kid anymore. And Lizzie, I mean, Mamm, makes me in charge of more!”
Marge grinned. “It really stinks being the oldest, huh?”
Jenny burst into tears. “I was a little girl until daed got married. He made me in charge of things, though.”
Marge couldn’t help but embrace the girl. “Growing pains, Honey. You’re going through growing pains.”
“But nothing hurts.”
She pointed to Jenny’s heart. “Inside you’re hurting. You’re gonna be eight, and that’s a hard age. You’re not little or big.”
“Marge, we best get her back home. They must be worried.”
She nodded. “You’re right,” she said, and hugged Jenny again. “Things will work out over time. But for now, you need to promise me you’ll never run away again.”
Jenny’s hug around her neck made Marge yearn for a daughter of her own. Hopefully, one day God would give her this secret dream.
~*~
“Growing pains?” Jeb huffed. “Are these growing pains contagious because my legs are aching. Been walking the land for ours.” He looked sternly at Jenny. “Do you know how upset your daed is?”
“You don’t have to be so strict,” Joe blurted. “She’s only seven.”
“I’m just being direct
. She needs to learn to obey.”
When Granny heard the commotion, she ran from behind her house. When she saw Jenny she opened her arms and Jenny flew into them. “There, there. Everything will be alright.” She walked over to Marge and Joe. “What’s all the hollering about, Jeb?”
“I think Jenny needs to be grounded. Learn a lesson. Joe thinks I’m being too stern.”
Granny knew from talking to Marge the extremely strict religious rules Joe’s parents imposed on him, and it made him resent God, and his family. Did he think the Amish were all rules and not love? “Jeb, you know love covers a multitude of sins…”
“She didn’t sin!” Joe belted.
Granny reached up to pat Jeb on the cheek before he could speak. She knew he was a man of rules, but full of mercy. She’d have to share with him about Joe’s past later. “Nee, she didn’t sin, only being a kinner.” Before Jeb could argue, she asked Marge and Joe to walk over to talk to Lizzie.
“I don’t want any more pains,” Jenny said. She hugged Marge’s middle. “Can I live with Marge and Joe for a while and help with their bunnies? They don’t have kids.”
Granny gawked. “Pains? What on earth?”
“Growing pains,” Marge said. “She’s not little or big and they call this awkward stage growing pains.”
“Ach, I see. I can’t remember being seven going on eight, but I think Lizzie remembers. How about we ask her about it?”
Jenny looked down, but marched over to her house. Lizzie greeted her behind the screen door. Granny asked Marge and Joe in for tea and blueberry muffins, knowing Lizzie needed time alone with Jenny.
~*~
In tribulation be patient. In tribulation be patient, Lizzie said over and over in her mind as Jenny stomped up the steps. Jenny didn’t come in the door, but instead plopped herself down on a hickory bent rocker on the porch. Lizzie sighed, not knowing whether to pamper the girl or discipline her. How she wished Roman was home. She retrieved her knitting and when she touched the yarn, a thought came to her; a parable Granny had made up.
She went outside and sat in the rocker opposite Jenny. “Jenny, come here.”
Jenny slowly got up and, with hunched shoulders, moseyed over to Lizzie.
“Do you see this scarf I’m trying to make?”
“Not too goot. It’s dark out here.”
Lizzie took the matches in her apron pocket and lit the oil lamp on the table. “Now can you see it?”
“Jah…”
“What colors do you see?”
“Blue, green, white, and pink…”
“Do you like the design the colored yarn is making?”
Jenny looked down and shuffled her feet. “Jah.”
“Now come here and put your nose up against the scarf.”
“What?”
“Put your nose up to the scarf. I want to show you something.”
Jenny obeyed.
“What do you see?” Lizzie asked.
“Nothing. Black.”
Lizzie tried to embrace Jenny but she recoiled. In tribulation be patient. In tribulation be patient. “Jenny, your Oma helped me a lot when my mamm died. She told me to put my nose up against one of her quilts and asked me what I saw. Nothing, I said. She had me slowly move back, and then asked what I saw. And I said a beautiful quilt. Well, your Oma corrected me. She said I saw the pattern and design only when I moved back.”
“I don’t understand,” Jenny said, slowly sitting in her rocker.
“Well, sometimes we don’t see the beautiful pattern God is making in our life until later. When my mamm died, all I saw was black, understand? I was very sad. But that was years ago and I’ve been able to step back and see the pretty pattern of my life.”
“It still doesn’t make sense. I’m only seven…”
In tribulation be patient. In tribulation be patient. “Jenny, I’m trying to tell you that it’s okay to have ‘black’ days. Give it time, and step back, soon you’ll see God works everything together for the goot.”
Jenny’s chin started to quiver. Lizzie got up and to her surprise, Jenny met her midway, hugging her middle. “You saw black, too?”
Lizzie kissed her head. “Jah, for many days. But now I’m happy because I have a new mamm, too. Your Oma.”
Jenny sobbed in Lizzie’s arms. Her attempt to tell Granny’s parable had failed, but Jenny understood that she cared. She led her to her rocker and sat her on her lap. Lizzie stroked her blond hair and rocked her, and Jenny soaked her black apron. She heard foot-steps. “Ach, Roman, I’m glad you’re home.”
“It’s Joe, Lizzie. Checking on Jenny.”
“Ach, I didn’t see you. I think she’ll be fine.”
“Just don’t want her getting in trouble…”
“Why would she get in trouble?”
“I was whopped a lot as a kid. Don’t want to see that happening…”
Lizzie heard pain in Joe’s voice. This was a man who said he was an atheist. What had tainted him to believe there was no God? Did he not have a loving father? Did he think God was the same way? “Joe, I really appreciate your concern, but we make allowances for others weaknesses.”
“But Jeb’s awful mad.”
“He’s awful tired. He’s been searching for Jenny for hours. Just needs a goot night sleep.”
Jenny wiped her eyes and looked over at Joe. “Can I play with your bunnies sometime?”
Joe beamed. “Anytime you come with your mom.”
Jenny’s head spun around to look at Lizzie. “Mamm, can we go tomorrow to see the bunnies?”
Jenny called her mamm naturally. Lizzie feared it was her turn to cry, so she bit her lip and willed self-control. “Jah, dochder, I’d like that.” She looked over at Joe through blurry eyes. “Is that goot with you?”
“I’ll be home all day. Making a rabbit hutch. Could use some company.”
~*~
The next morning, Jeb was still on edge. “Deborah, no. We don’t read any other Bible but the German or King James Version.”
“But the translation Janice has flows so goot. It’s called The Message Bible. Don’t see the harm if it helps me understand the scriptures better.”
Jeb stuck his spoon in his oatmeal. “Nee.”
Granny went over and picked up her Bible. “I love this Bible with all my heart. It’s my rock in life, you know that. But words have changed. Do you know that when it was written, the bowels were considered the seat of the emotions?”
“Deborah, what on earth? You aren’t talking like yourself.”
“It’s something Janice said that’s stuck in my mind and I can’t explain it any other way. The emotions in Bible times were believed to come from the bowels, not the heart. So when it says to love each other with bowels of mercy, it means a heart full of mercy. It makes more sense.”
Jeb got up to pour himself another cup of coffee. “Deborah, you are scaring me enough to make me want to forbid you to have that knitting circle with the Baptist. “
“But you read Max Lucado, and there’s other Bible translations in his books.”
Jeb pulled at his beard. “There is?”
Granny ran into the living room to get the book Jeb was reading and flipped through a few pages. “It says here in the front, ‘Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture references are from the Holy Bible, New International Version’.”
Jeb’s eyes grew round. “Let me see.” Granny handed him the book.
Though the birds were singing in the morning, for some reason, they were giving Granny a headache. Why was Jeb so upset? He even scared Joe last night.
“You’re right, it isn’t in King James. Maybe I should get rid of it.”
“You got it from the bishop, jah?” Granny reached over to take Jeb’s hand. “What’s really troubling you, Love?”
Jeb put his head down. “Change, as usual. The older I get, it just gets harder.”
“Well, being set in right ways is goot. I’d never stray from the Amish, if that’s what you’re
fearing.”
“It’s the little foxes that spoil the vine…”
Granny knew what he meant. It’s the little ways we slip from the faith that cause a real backslide. “I’m Amish to the core, but I’ll take your advice to heart, Love.”
He opened his arms and she sat in his lap. “I love you, Deborah.”
“I love you too…old man.”
~*~
When Jeb went out to feed the chickens and collect eggs, she knew she’d fret if she didn’t do a casting off prayer. Something was eating at Jeb, but what could it possibly be? How gruff he was with Joe last night wasn’t typical of his goot nature. And he looked pale. Dear, Lord, no!
She sat in her rocker, bowed her head and prayed:
Lord,
I can’t live without Jeb and he doesn’t look goot. He looks ill or old age is making his personality change. Lord, Jeb is my rock, and I just couldn’t go on without him. But you have carried me through deep valleys and will continue to lift me by your grace, until you carry me into eternity. But Lord, please help Jeb. Something isn’t right. Does he know something I don’t? Is he upset he’ll have to share a fishing hole with Jonas since he’ll be moving here, most likely? Lord, I give my dear husband to you. Shower him with your love and strength.
In Jesus name,
Amen
~*~
Thank you for reading Amish Friends Knitting Circle: Tea Kettles Sing. I leave you with this recipe for blueberry muffins. Enjoy!
Berry Muffins
1 ½ c. flour
¾ c. sugar
½ tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
1/3 c. vegetable oil
1 egg
1/3 c. milk
1 c. Berry (of any kind)
Mix ingredients and put in muffin cups 2/3rd full. Add Crumb Topping (below). Bake at 400 degrees for20 minutes. Cool.
Crumb Topping
½ c. sugar
1/3 c. flour
¼ c. butter
Episode 3
Berry Picking Time
Ella handed little Moses to Colleen. “Danki ever so much for helping me pick berries and watch the twins.” She kissed her daughter’s head. “Looks like Vina needs a nap. I’ll take her upstairs.”
Smicksburg Tales 1,2 & 3 (Amish Knitting Circle, Amish Friends Knitting Circle & Amish Knit Lit Cirlce ~ Complete Series: 888 pages for Granny Weaver Lovers and 30+ Amish Recipes Page 34