“Well, I’m still worried. But it feels better that Roman knows.”
Granny stopped and looked over at her beautiful daughter-in-law. “He loves you, Lizzie. Whether you can have kinner or not.”
Lizzie fumbled with the metal milk pitcher and spilled some on the oak table. “Ach, so clumsy.”
Granny took a clean towel and mopped up the liquid. “You didn’t spill much, and there’s more from where that came from.” She bit her lower lip and observed Lizzie. “I’m sorry. What I said upset you. I’m not saying your barren, just that Roman loves you unconditionally.”
Lizzie’s eyes brimmed with tears. “I love him too, and want to have a little Roman running around. I know he wants a son.”
“Cast your cares upon the Lord…”
Lizzie grinned. “I know. Because He cares for us. 1 Peter 5:7.”
Granny continued to fill bowls. “I’m having to cast lots of things on God. I see Jeb casting for fish out there over and over again, but I think I cast more than him, if you know what I mean.”
Lizzie nodded. “I sure do.”
Jenny ran in from the side door. “Mamm, Janice feels light-headed.”
“Pour her a cup of Meadow Tea. Oma has some in the icebox,” Lizzie said. “Must be her low blood sugar.”
“Menopause, but Janice won’t face it. She comes over and gets hot flashes so bad she has to run outside to get fresh air. When your hormones are unbalanced, you can experience lots of things.”
“Like what?” Lizzie asked. “I mean, I have dizzy spells and hot flashes, too.”
Granny shooed a fly. “Lizzie, you’re thirty-three. You’re not going through menopause.”
“Remember how Sarah Yoder went through it at thirty? She was glad she got married and had her kinner…”
Granny walked over to Lizzie and put her hand on her shoulders. “Lizzie, you are fine. You hear me? You’re young and healthy.” She stroked her face. “Nice rosy cheeks.”
Lizzie embraced her. “Danki.”
Ruth came in the side door. “Need some help?”
Granny smiled. “You’re hungry, jah? Eating for two?”
Ruth pat her growing middle. “Can’t wait to see this boppli. And, yes, I am hungry…” She took the tray from Granny and headed out to the porch.
Lizzie grabbed paper cups and iced tea. “Danki for listening. It means a lot, not having a mamm to talk to about these things.”
Granny put a hand up. “You have a mamm, remember? And you’re looking at her. I love you like my own.”
Lizzie beamed and made her way out to the porch, putting the pitcher and cups on the table. “Help yourselves.”
Silence. All the women had already dived into Peach Spoon Cake. Granny took a bowl and sat in her rocker. She let the pudding-like cake melt in her mouth and looked around the circle. Suzy didn’t seem like her usual chipper self. “How’s Mollie, Suzy?”
“She’s declining but is fifteen years old,” she said in a low, monotone voice.
“She’s distancing herself,” Janice said. “She’s come to realize Mollie was a gift and she may be taken soon.”
“Sounds like Pastor Jerry’s counseling her,” Colleen said. “He really is good.”
Suzy got up quickly. “Okay, we didn’t come here to eat, but knit, and some of you are behind.”
All eyes in the circle were on Suzy.
She looked around and burst into tears. “I’m sorry. I try to hold it in, and then it gushes out.”
Janice got up and embraced her friend. “It’s okay to cry. Grief is starting now, like we said. Even though Mollie’s here, you’re grieving the loss of the old Mollie…the active, healthy Mollie.” Suzy continued to sob in Janice’s arms.
“I can teach,” offered Marge. “Want me to?”
Suzy shook her head. “I need to do this. You women take my mind off Mollie, and this circle is a blessing.”
Marge sighed. “Well, I’m glad you can teach. I’m plumb tired. Homesteading is harder than those books and magazines make it out to be.”
“If you were raised Amish, you’d be used to it,” Ruth said. “But you and Joe are doing goot. Just keep working and then you’ll be all snug in your house come winter. Firewood chopped, enough put up to eat. Winter is my favorite time of year, I must admit.”
“And you and Fannie will have babies in the winter,” Colleen said. “I had Aurora in the winter and there’s nothing like holding a baby all snuggly when it’s cold out.”
“I thought you were homeless,” Marge said.
“Not when Aurora was born. I stayed with an aunt for a while. Three years.”
“So why’d you leave?” Lizzie asked.
“My parents would come over high on drugs, begging for money. Drug money. When they threatened me, I went to a friend’s, but they found me there, so I went to the Baptist shelter.”
“Does your aunt know where you are?” Granny asked.
“Aunt Miriam knows I’m in a half-way house and safe. Funny thing, but Iva looks like her. Met her today at the quilt shop.”
“What did you think of Emma’s?” Marge asked. “I’m making some crafts to sell there. Real nice lady.”
“Oh, I didn’t meet Emma. She was out, but her daughters, Iva and Marie, were there. Iva’s so animated. She made me laugh.”
Granny looked up and Janice’s eyes met hers. She knew Janice was thinking the same thing, and she was so thankful that the Baptist had a dutiful pastor’s wife who would take care of the situation. Maybe Janice wasn’t going through the change, just stressed out, like she said.
Suzy walked around the circle checking everyone’s knitting. “Well, we’ll definitely have lots of scarves that’s for sure,” she said, curtly. “When are we going to advance to hats?”
“It looks so hard,” Lizzie said. “Four little needles.” She pointed to the hat Marge was making. “Don’t think I can do it.”
Marge looked up. “Well, crocheting a hat is easier.”
Suzy held her heart. “I don’t like crocheting. I’ve knitted for thirty years.”
“Crocheting looks lacier.” Marge continued to knit. “And you only use one needle.”
“I’d love to learn to crochet a baby hat,” Ruth said. “Can you teach me, Marge?”
“If I get a spare moment to myself,” Marge huffed. “You’ll need lots of hats up there in New York.”
“New York!” half the circle screamed.
To Granny’s amazement, Ruth beamed. “Luke and I are going to visit East Otto, New York. Zach and Ella found five hundred acres at a goot price.” She looked over at Granny. “But Jeb, our new bishop, advised us to not move in haste. So, I’m looking at the trip as a vacation.” Again, she smiled at Granny.
Granny was grateful Jeb gave such wise counsel. Her heart swelled with pride for the man she loved…too much at times. “So, when will you visit?”
“In a few weeks. Not real sure with Ella trying to get a good crop in this fall. She’s most likely working the fields now, weeding her pumpkins and gourds, along with Zach and Hezekiah.”
“I can help, too,” Colleen said. “I’ll just be volunteering at the quilt shop one day a week.”
“But you need to start visiting schools,” Janice said. “All the girls at Forget-Me-Not have to learn skills to make a living.”
“I know, but I just love being over at Ella’s…”
Granny saw a buggy come down the driveway and soon saw Lavina’s face. The girl was holding up rather well, considering Nathan left. Maybe she didn’t really care for him.
After Lavina hitched her horse to the post, she greeted everyone with a smile. “Sorry, I’m late. Took some peaches over to Ella and we started talking about New York. Then I started talking to Hezekiah. How wunderbar it is that he’s buying the farm, although Ella will be sorely missed. And the twins…”
Granny held her breath, hoping Lavina wouldn’t mention anything more about the twins.
“I fed the twins some peache
s and they smacked their lips. I’ll miss them.”
“We’ll all miss Ella and Zach’s twins, jah?” Granny asked.
Lavina nodded. “Moses and Vina, although adopted, have a bond with their parents I never even had with mine. Well, maybe with my mamm…”
“Still missing her?” Janice asked. “Any word?”
“No. Nothing. But I’m learning to trust God with that and with Nathan. Maryann’s a good Bible teacher. We sit at night and read it, along with other goot books, and I’m learning that God really cares about me. So I’m not worried.”
Ruth looked up from her knitting. “Really? Even after Nathan hurt you so much?”
“Nathan didn’t plan to hurt anyone,” Granny quipped, defending her favorite grandson. “He just needed to go back to Montana to help on the farm.”
“And see if he’s over Sarah. His former fiancé who left the Amish, but came back,” Lavina added.
Granny felt her stomach tighten and then flip. Sarah? The most fickle Amish girl she’d heard of? “My son encouraged this?”
“Jah, he did. He wants Nathan to be sure where his heart is…” Lavina took the yellow scarf she was working on out of her basket.
Suzy inspected the stitches. “Nice and even.” She held the scarf close to her eyes. “But seed stitch is knit one, purl one. You have a few purls together here.” She held the scarf down for Lavina to see.
“Ach, I see. Do I need to rip everything out? It took me an hour today…I knit after receiving Nathan’s letter, and it does calm the nerves.”
“Half-hour a day of knitting releases endorphins into your brain,” Suzy said, taking a seat next to Lavina. “Endorphins not only reduce stress, but are anti-aging.”
“Woot!” Janice yelled. “I’m knitting more!”
“Me too. I’ll knit or crochet more. I’ve aged since I moved up here.” Marge sighed.
“I don’t know if crocheting releases endorphins,” Suzy said wryly, and then winked and grinned at Marge. “I feel so much better being here. Janice dragged me out the door, and I’m glad she did.”
Granny heard Tillie and Millie giggle as they swung on their tire swing. How free they were. But her heart felt as heavy as stone. Miriam was the name of Colleen’s aunt? Could it all be true? What she suspected all along? And her son was encouraging Nathan to consider Sarah? She looked past the women and over to the vast fields. Hundreds of lightning bugs flickered, even though twilight hadn’t set in. How bright they were when night fell. When she said her casting off prayers later tonight, she knew her Lord would cut through this darkness that threatened her soul.
~*~
Granny said her prayers and sunk into bed, weary from the day. She took in the scent of peonies that wafted from the window. Taking a deep breath, she slowly let it out, hoping her body would relax. She turned on her side and closed her eyes, but soon jumped when Jeb bellowed a snore. Granny rolled her eyes and wanted to nudge him, tell him to turn on his side. But she knew he was exhausted, so she simply closed her eyes again, hoping for silence. She felt sleep quickly come on when Jeb started to snore even louder.
Granny clenched her teeth, and got up. Taking the pillow, she was tempted to wake him with it, but as she looked at her dear husband, flat on his back, snoring louder than she could recall, she took her pillow and made her way out to the living room. She lay on the couch and tried to find sleep. Granny listened to the constant ticking of the pendulum clock, and hoped it would rock her to sleep. She heard a cow in a distant field and the barn owls started to hoot.
Why was she so distracted? She was used to these sounds, but they annoyed her tonight. She was always able to sleep after her prayer time. Did she cast everything on God? Granny knew she hadn’t, so she closed her eyes:
Dear Lord,
I fear I’m angry with my son. How could he ask Nathan to come to Smicksburg to find a bride, then spin him around when Sarah decided she wants to be Amish again? Lord, the girl is like the pendulum clock I’m listening to. But now, I also have to admit I see something I’ve never seen before. Lavina is not fickle. She has steadfastness of heart. She would be a better match for Nathan. Lord, I fear for my grandson. Keep his heart from wayward women…from Sarah. I’m not judging her, Lord, just saying what’s in my heart, which you already know.
I give this whole situation to you,
In Jesus name,
Amen
Dear Readers,
Thank you for following Amish Friends Knitting Circle. We’re half-way through the series, since this will be in eight parts. Granny served Peach Spoon Cake. It’s a pudding-like cake made for large groups. Here’s a family size recipe, but you can expand it to feed a circle of friends.
Peach Spoon Cake
1 c. flour
2/3 c. brown sugar
1 t. cinnamon
½ t. salt
½ t. soda
½ c. sour cream
1 t. vanilla
1 egg
1 ½ c. sliced peaches
Beat all ingredients together, except peaches, for one minute. Pour batter into a greased 8x8 pan. Arrange peaches over batter. Bake at 375 for 35 minutes. Serve warm with whipped topping or ice cream.
Episode 5
The Bridge
This story is dedicated to Cindy…may your faith be strengthened to cross troubled waters.
~*~
The robin sang her many songs and Granny supposed the creature was trying to cheer her up. Wake her up. It might be the best thing, since her dreams were full of horror, seeing Roman fall over and over again from the roof. His arm broken in three places?
Granny locked her eyes, trying to make the images disappear, but they only intensified. Jonas sobbing, saying it was all his fault. He should have let Roman build the new structure where he thought best. Lizzie and the girls sobbing as Roman lay unconscious for a spell, wondering if he’d passed on.
She turned to take Jeb’s arm to put around her middle. “Jeb, are you up?”
“Don’t think I slept at all, Deborah.” He pulled her close. “After the medics left, I sat on the porch for the longest time.”
“When our kinner hurt, we hurt, even if they’re grown, jah?”
“Jah, for sure. But I’m puzzled. I’ve seen Roman build barns, walking on the high beams without falling. How’d he lose his footing?”
Granny took a deep breath and drew closer to Jeb. “He couldn’t have slipped. No rain…”
“Heat exhaustion, maybe? It is the end of August.”
Granny groaned. “Corn picking time at that.” She covered her face and let the tears flow. “What are we going to do?”
“Aw, Love, about our boy’s pain?”
“Nee. Nathan left, leaving all the work to Clark, who’s new to rocker making. And the harvest? How will we –”
“God will provide,” Jeb hushed her in a whisper, stroking her long gray hair. “He always has. And we have the People.”
“It’s scary to be old sometimes,” she gasped. “So dependent on others.”
“Our bopplis were mighty dependent on us, jah? They know the circle of life. ‘Tis natural.”
Granny buried her head in his chest. “I’m so afraid.”
“Jah, I am too. For Roman. Could be months before he regains the use of his right arm.” He cradled her head against his chest. “Faith is a bridge over which we can cross all the unknown waters of tomorrow…”
“Ach, I don’t need to hear that.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m tired. Don’t have the strength to cross that bridge.” Granny couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried in Jeb’s arms so. Most likely Abigail’s death… What was wrong with her? Did she need to knit so her endorphins increased, since Suzy said they were anti-aging? Was she to knit to relieve stress? Right now, being cocooned in Jeb’s arms was where she wanted to stay all day.
“We’ll cross it together…”
“Cross what together?”
“The bridge, Deborah. W
e may be two old folks, but we’re still goot for leaning posts, jah?”
Granny looked up, tears brimming her eyes. “And when my leaning post is gone?”
“Deborah, why such talk? You’re being too gloomy. Need to send up some casting off prayers before your feet hit the ground?”
Granny knew he was right. She needed to sit in silence, feel the sense that her Creator was in control, and submit. Plain and simple.
Jeb withdrew his arm and sat up. “How about I make you breakfast in bed?”
Granny beamed. “I’d like that. Need to seek Him with all my heart, since it’s all wound-up. Danki, Love.”
~*~
Lavina stacked pancakes on a platter. “Jenny, can you take these over to your oma and opa?”
Jenny nodded. “When’s daed coming home? Mamm, too?”
“As soon as the doctor lets them.”
“But Mamm didn’t break her arm,” Millie chirped. “Why’s she in the hospital?”
Lavina handed the jug of maple syrup to Millie. “She wouldn’t leave your daed. Slept in the recliner by his bed.”
“Mamm sure does love Daed,” Jenny said. “Come on, Millie. Let’s take this over to Oma’s.”
Lavina turned to watch the two girls leave the kitchen. Tillie sat at the table, sullen. “Your daed will be just fine.”
“I miss him. Couldn’t sleep without him in the house.”
“I was here.”
“But I feel safe when my daed’s here.”
Lavina’s heart tightened, pushing the air out of her lungs. She’d always felt safe when her daed was gone. The house was peaceful when he fell into a drunken slumber somewhere in the woods. Sometimes she had to admit she envied Roman’s kinner; he was a stable man with a goot wife now, and the girls had grandparents right next door.
Her mind turned to the book Suzy gave her, The Secret Garden. She felt like Mary Lennox in the book, never really loved by her parents. Always in the way. She missed her mamm at times, but lately was fighting anger toward the woman who should have kept her safe.
Lavina, don’t be so contrary, her mamm would say. Just follow the rules. Basically, her mamm told her not to think for herself, which led her down the muddy road of sin, giving birth to twins out of wedlock.
Smicksburg Tales 1,2 & 3 (Amish Knitting Circle, Amish Friends Knitting Circle & Amish Knit Lit Cirlce ~ Complete Series: 888 pages for Granny Weaver Lovers and 30+ Amish Recipes Page 41